Guitar Porn


Phwoar, look at the f-holes on that.

A big old Gretsch semi. To my mind, the MILF of guitar porn.
(Cave Duck, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:10, 96 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

WOULD
No, WANT! I meant WANT! Er...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:12, Reply)

*thumbs down*
can't abide that sort of guitar
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:16, Reply)

really?
Where's your inner rockabilly?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:17, Reply)

WHAT THE JUDDERYBUGGERING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:17, Reply)

He's taken that 'what if you were blind' question
a bit far, I fear.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:27, Reply)

I'd like a Country Gent.
In cream.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:43, Reply)

down UP

can't abide that sort of guitar Wow! She's beautiful, everyone loves a guitar like that.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:27, Reply)

with you 100% vippers
To play that thing you also need to have a slimy, bryl-creamed quiff and stupid teddy boy suit.
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:32, Reply)

You don't like Duane Eddy or Eddie Cochran then?
Ye deaf cont, ye.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:39, Reply)

My apologies
I was born in the 1980s.
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:42, Reply)

*belms for Britain*
You DO know they actually recorded their music in the 50s, don't you? YOU CAN ACTUALLY LISTEN TO IT NOW!!!!111!!

I was born in 1973 but by the miracle of science I've been able to acquire a taste for some of the music of the 60s. IT'S AMAZING!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:50, Reply)

I have a taste
for some 70s and 60s and loads of much older classical stuff. But 50s? No, that sucked ass.
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:54, Reply)

Most of it, absolutely.
But I promise you some of the hardcore underground original rock'n'roll was BRILLIANT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:05, Reply)

despite being a nuclear grade shirter
you're generally right about music. I will listen to Cochrane and Duane with open ears.
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:19, Reply)

You'd fucking better
The 50s rule.
And so does Bryl-Creemed Gretsch player Richard Hawley.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 19:22, Reply)

Little Richard is a fucking legend.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:07, Reply)

Well, yes, the Tobacco Sunburst is a tad vulgar.
But you'd be playing with your eyes closed anyway.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:44, Reply)

But, if you insult the sunburst finish, you insult Bill Nelson.
And if you insult Bill Nelson, you insult me.

Come on, outside.
*puts em up and prances pathetically"
(Cave Duck, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:00, Reply)

Bill Nelson plays with GURLS.
I'm on me way out.
(No fists though, might break a finger bone, slapsies only.)
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:05, Reply)

Very nice indeed

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:16, Reply)

She's got a fat arse

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:21, Reply)

A GILF, then?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:22, Reply)

busy Friday night?
I'm thinking of 'going up the Buzzard'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Haha, not Dunstable then?
I can't get over there and I'm stupidly tired, but that's not a no. I'll give you a shout tomorrow if I'm up for it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Fair enough!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Don't just talk about it. I want pictures.


Inter-racial guitar porn.




Dwarf guitar porn
(Cave Duck, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:23, Reply)

www.nataliedee.com/082208/the-nard-of-fruit.jpg
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:27, Reply)

tb:dr

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:28, Reply)

No no no no no.
Flying V has to be without doubt, THE most pretentious guitar in the world.

Plus, those pics are a bit fucking gigantuous, eh?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:29, Reply)

1. No way - Prince's spasticated squiggle guitar is worse
2. Hendrix played a Flying V occasionally and it rather suited his outlandish garb.

But anyone else... nah. That I grant you - a bit 'Scorpions' which as we know is never a good idea.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:33, Reply)

the flying V is nice

( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Yeah, but we all know your taste is suspect.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:35, Reply)

Don't you play the taste card with me young Noel
I'm going to groom your daughter on THE FACEBOOK INTERNETZ.
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:43, Reply)

She told me.
Checking for ticks and nits isn't the type of grooming we're talking about.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:46, Reply)

That's just my opening line to make sure they have reasonable hygiene
I move on from their sharpish. I've got mad-skillz when it comes to internet based courtship.
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:55, Reply)

Mad, certainly.
Did you add me yet, by the way?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:08, Reply)

Regrettably no
I only add people who I'm friends with IRL :( I'm an old-school social media type.
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:20, Reply)

I can't decide if that makes you cool or shit.
I'll let you choose. Then, when I pop up on People You May Know, you can choose whether to stick to your morals or accept the awesome into your life. I've recently gained fifteen b3tans on Facebook, even a couple who rarely post any more. Most odd.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:37, Reply)

Less chat, more pics.


Fender Jazzmaster. Not an obvious beauty but you're drawn to it anyway.
(Cave Duck, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:40, Reply)

The surf guitar. Fucking love it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:40, Reply)

I like the way you order me around.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:41, Reply)

Now HERE'S the GILF of stringed instruments.

( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:42, Reply)

Oh, and I have one of these too.

( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:45, Reply)

My mate bought one for £25 off another of our pals
I tried playing it but it's too out of tune and I couldn't work out how to tune it.

I have some rare footage of Rob Tyner from the MC5 playing one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:46, Reply)

The ones I have
are actually museum pieces, both built in the 1890s. However, I'm resurrecting them for actual use.

I've found plenty of footage on YouTube of people playing them, but I want to use mine as a sort of modified hammered dulcimer. Once I finish getting them restored I'll get the proper hammers and give it a go.
( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:55, Reply)

I didn't realise they made them that long ago.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:00, Reply)

Yup.
Mostly what you'll find today are Oscar Schmidt instruments, but they were originally made (over here, at least) in the 1890s by Zimmerman. Apparently he copied the concept from a German instrument, patented it over here and started cranking them out a couple of years later. The two I have were made less than 10 years after he filed his patent.

I'm still working on restoring them. The biggest problem is getting strings- they're fucking expensive!
( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:06, Reply)

What say ye to this?
I really quite like Deans

www.vilgiate.com/chainsaw-weasel/images/instruments/deanmach7.gif
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:44, Reply)

FOUL.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:47, Reply)

Gay sci-fi guitar is gay

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:47, Reply)

You're both wrong!
That guitar wins so much it's awesome. Can't imagine it's well balanced though.
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:53, Reply)

What it wins,
is 'gayest guitar in the world' for the 5th consecutive term.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:56, Reply)

Hahaha
That's tickled me to laughter in my office :)
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:00, Reply)

I imagine that this is you...



( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:47, Reply)

Oh.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:49, Reply)

Isn't that
Spinal Tap?
( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:56, Reply)

Guitar pron would have to include a twin-necked body.
Or even that 5-necked thing in the window in Denmark St.

One of these. Oh, yes, baby

And what are these girls up to? Sticky Little Fingers no doubt
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:47, Reply)

how the fuck
do you even play something with more than two necks?


i find one difficult enough most of the time
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:02, Reply)

Squidily.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:07, Reply)

In the beautifully ugly category:

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:51, Reply)

The Chapman Stick


Far more pretentious than a Flying V, surely.

The odd tantric sex thingy of guitar porn.

Fine in the hands of Tony Levin, though.
(Cave Duck, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:55, Reply)

I win.


I fucking LOVE Bo Diddley but his guitars were FOUL.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:57, Reply)

No porn reference, so no win . Play on.

(Cave Duck, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:03, Reply)

Specialist disabled porn?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:04, Reply)

Win.

(Cave Duck, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:05, Reply)

Big ugly box
that only that guy would want to touch?
( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:07, Reply)

Bo Diddley
playing with his box Geddit?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:08, Reply)

My dream guitar...
cdn.mos.musicradar.com/images/Guitarist/Issue%20288/GIT288.rev_prs.prs1_prev-460-80.jpg

Curvy in just the right places, and so silky smooth. I would probably have to keep several pairs of boxers on whilst playing it to avoid jizzing all over it.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:11, Reply)

So
Am I the only guitarist here that doesn't give a shit what their guitar looks like as long as it sounds fucking awesome?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:15, Reply)

I much prefer to fiddle.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:15, Reply)

I have this vision
of you reaching down into your knickers, pulling out a part of your anatomy and applying a violin bow to it...

I think I need more sleep.
( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:41, Reply)

Then there's wetriffs.com

( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:19, Reply)

I can't imagine that's good for the pickups.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:21, Reply)

Neither is
doing this to an acoustic guitar advisable.

Still the gallery has some incredibly sexy shots in it: www.wetriffs.com
( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:23, Reply)

Rickenbacker 12 string.


Eh, eh?
(Cave Duck, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:20, Reply)

Ummmm...
I only see six strings on that thing.
( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:24, Reply)

Ahh, don't be fooled by the headstock.

Cheeky "from the rear" shot, showing clever arrangement of tuning pegs.
(Cave Duck, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 23:00, Reply)

Actual Guitar Porn
www.wetriffs.com

Edit: Beaten to it.
(bill, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:49, Reply)

Owned.
How's the new job?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:50, Reply)

Good so far thanks fella,
Survived day 2 and I'm starting to get used to the journey now so I'm all good. :D
(bill, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 19:27, Reply)

Even better
www.gallery617.com/g000.html

Proper guitar porn that is.
( Wanderer, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 19:11, Reply)

a summary for you
gay sci fi guitar is gay

flying V is only acceptable when played by certain people. Hendrix is allowed. Lenny Kravitz gets away with it. Tosser from Ash can fuck off.

I don't like the OP style electro-acoustic and they don't like me. my mate has an epiphone 355 or whatever it is called and I can't play it, even simple stuff, without it going out of tune.

www.b3tards.com/u/48ca4e4a50b7cad28251/v.jpg
now that's a fucking guitar (good beard and good angry guitar face if I do say so myself)

this is also nice:

I have the blue one

and last but not least

it will be mine
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 20:29, Reply)

this was made by the brother of the dude who runs my local guitar shop
and was in there for a while

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 20:38, Reply)

Ahem
I've played that! Pic to follow
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 23:22, Reply)

Just before this thread slides away - Blow job guitar porn.


Allan Holdsworth playing the synthaxe complete with breath controller.
(Cave Duck, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 22:49, Reply)

This is mine, I'll learn to play it one day...


Edit: Oops, Huge!
(bill, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 22:55, Reply)

just a bit
nice axe though.

mate of mine had something similar in a goldy colour - till some chavs broke into the school we practised in while we went to the shops and stole it
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 23:54, Reply)

I think a BC Rich warlock is probably the worst electric guitar I've ever played

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 9:03, Reply)

I realise it's probably a bit late to open this can of worms now
But to all you naysayers who snubbed that hollow-body Gretsch in the OP:

I have it on good authority that the thunderous, resonant power chords on Who's Next and Quadrophenia (and most of The Who's output since those) were created by - wait for it...a Gretsch hollow-body!

Still looking at it the same way?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 8:15, Reply)

yes
I don't like the look of them or playing on them. I don't care what sound they make :-P
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Fair enough.
I've always had the same prejudice against those Hohner 'Violin'-type Basses, though I'm assured they do sound nice.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 9:17, Reply)

sound isn't everything unfortunately
they've got feel nice and play nice.

I have something against maple fretboards. I don't think they look nice, but also find them worse to play on, which is weird because you don't really actually touch it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Really?
I agree that rosewood/ebony fretboards look a lot nicer, but I've a maple fretboard on my P-bass and I think the sound and feel are awesome. But then I've never played a P-bass with a rosewood fretboard for comparison.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 10:03, Reply)

don't like them at all
I've played the exact some model strat as mine, same colour, but with maple fretboard, and it just wasn't as nice. weird.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I'm torn
I can't decide whether I love the Gibson SG or the Fender Jaguar more.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 8:29, Reply)

SG all the way
(Disclaimer: my opinion is, as with the Gretsch, possibly ever-so-slightly biased by the SG's tour of duty with The Who during their 'golden era.')
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 8:32, Reply)