Unlike Monty I watched something good last night
the new series of "You have been watching" which was amazing in the fact there was a shot of Jamie Oliver next to a playground saying "no one understands why I'm here, if you love something and it feels right you just have go with it" and NO ONE MADE A PAEDO JOKE.

On the plus side it's well sunny here like innit. What's your plans for the weekend?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:10, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I thought the first series was a bit hit and miss.
Charlie Brooker doesn't work well with an audience.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:11, Reply)

That's because he hates people. Screen/news wipe is always better
Last nights guests were pretty rubbish though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:13, Reply)

I do get the feeling
that he is at his best when his lines are planned meticulously to be as cutting as possible. Hence the success of screenwipe.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

i didn't know there was a new series
i hope it's on iplayer
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Not a chance,
as it's on Channel 4.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

tits!
4OD?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Prolly.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:04, Reply)

My plans for the weekend involve some kind of attack on an energy company.
Fuckers increased my monthly Direct Debit because the credit in my account went perilously close to zero. Of course it fucking did! It was winter! Now my heating is off and I will be racking up a shitload of money in their poxy account because they don't seem to take seasonal variation into their calculations.

*buys Daily Mail and moves to Tunbridge Wells to be further disgruntled*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:24, Reply)

the way that operates pisses me off
we resisted direct debit for ages. My mrs would argue with people from the company when they suggested we do it, and eventually argued so much that they just let her dictate how much we paid. been working fine so far
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:25, Reply)

You have always been able to dictate how much you pay.
That's your right as a direct debit setter upperer.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

they try and make you pay more though
they seemed quite stubborn about it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:29, Reply)

You're being very reasonable today

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:30, Reply)

If you want to alter a DD, do you not have to set up a new one?
Or use a standing order instead?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:31, Reply)

No phone them up
and explain to them patiently that you are allowed to dictate how much you pay under a direct debit and that you want to change it back to the amount it was.

As long as the amount you previously paid was reasonable i.e. after this last bill your account should be zero, or more likely just very slightly in credit, then they can't object. If you are in debit then they will up it as the terms of the direct debit are that you overpay in the summer to come back to zero in the winter.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:35, Reply)

You're like a one-man Which? magazine.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Which? magazine idiot
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I'm losing the energy to argue.
There's been a recent Ofgem ruling that they can't hold huge amounts of people's money though, so I might wait til the next bill to show it's an excessive sum to collect, and then bitch about their money-grabbing asses.

Alternatively, I might just pay it as I'll probably have to keep the house at a temperature approaching bearable next winter. Damn babies are so demanding, wanting things like warmth.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:29, Reply)

use the pregnancy card
they'll back down soon enough
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:30, Reply)

If it's over 100 quid then most will automatically credit it, but some you need to chase.
If it's less than 100 quid you don't really have much chance of getting it back, especially in the summer.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:36, Reply)

This will be my last weekend without the internets at home.
I shall celebrate by using my fantastic imagination and spend all weekend wanking over Jeff Bridges, (not literally of course).
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Nice
Try not to make too much of a mess
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I'll put plastic sheets down.

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)

"Drip drip drop little April showers."
Just realised that soundslike a paedo anthem. Sorry.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:06, Reply)

stop besmirching Bambi

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:16, Reply)

You ARE a paedo joke.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:10, Reply)

This weekend
I plan to revitalise my C.v. and start applying for more jobs.

Furthermore my grand return to 11-a-side football begins Sunday, so looking forward to that.

No booze for the second weekend running.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Weekend
I have two new DVDs to peruse: 'Dirt Road to Psychedelia' about the Austin, Texas scene in the mid-late 60s, and 'You're Gonna Miss Me', about 'The American Syd Barrett', legendary acid casualty and musical genius from the 13th Floor Elevators Roky Erikson.

I shall also (of course) have a couple of Lord's Prayer Wanks (c), and shall also be seeing my cheeky nipper on Sunday.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:28, Reply)

to Psychedelia Truckers
+ shirting
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:44, Reply)

It's a fair cop, guv. You got me banged to rights.

How are you? Up for a curry again soon?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:46, Reply)

All good ta.
MOAR CURRY is always a fine idea.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Grand.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I have to go and see my tenants tomorrow
and then go to a wedding of some friends where there are going to be a bunch of people who I have noticed recently appear to have turned into utter cunts.

Other than that I'm going to bee sewing (ha, pun)
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:30, Reply)

*slowly shakes head*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:34, Reply)

oh come on that was puntastic

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:51, Reply)

*does Roman amphitheatre 'thumbs down' gesture*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:35, Reply)

oh come on that was puntastic

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Is that a local variation of the Yorkshire ha pun?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:37, Reply)

*confused*
eh?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:52, Reply)

oh come on that was puntastic

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:56, Reply)

nice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:02, Reply)

It probably was but I don't geddit
*spacks*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:39, Reply)

"Happen" is a Yorkshire affectation normally used to replace the usage of "Perhaps".
As in "Happen I will!" or "We could go down t'town, happen." It should be noted that the normally aspirant h is silent.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:48, Reply)

hanging out with mates tonight
probably playing on the Wii and getting caned.

Was supposed to be having a bbq with my family tomorrow, but my brother is stuck in Kiev (not the chicken dish) and may well not be back in time.

Recording on sunday. woo
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:35, Reply)

My weekend plans are.
Do washing and ironing
Put things in the loft
Play computer games
Watch TV
Don't spend any money
Start Packing for New York.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Holiday or work in NY?
Been before? I love it, and have some cracking friends out there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:40, Reply)

ing head
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Ha! Actually quite the opposite -
Super-rich Jews, bizarrely. I got to know them when they were studying over here when I used to run an old-skool hip hop night in Islington.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Hoilday, it's my sisters 30th, she's flying from Aus the family are flying from here and meeting in New york.
should be good, any recommendations?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:53, Reply)

does she live in Aus?
Did she emigrate?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Yes, she lives in Perth.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

*jealouses*

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:57, Reply)

The museums are excellent, MOMA & Guggenheim
Central Park will be lovely in spring, don't bother with a boat trip to see Statue of Liberty, just get the Staten Island Ferry - it costs fuck all and you get the same views. Much as I hate being a 'tourist' the Empire State Building is really spectacular.

Going out in Manhattan is rather dull nowadays compared with the 'city that never sleeps' days, there are some nice little lounge bars around that are intimate and cool and not too snooty.

Chinatown is mental because it's so fucking huge - there are some great restaurants there. Little Italy is just that: fucking miniscule.

For a more mental night out you have to go out to the boroughs: Brooklyn is excellent. To be honest it's great just wandering around seeing New York for real, when you've seen it so many times in films etc. Wish I was going.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I'm trying to get to see a baseball game,
and most of my family are going to watch a broadway show on saturday, so I'm going to wander around and bar hop on my own for a few hours which should be fun.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Greenwich Village is a good place to wander about, drinking.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I might turn the heating up really high and try all my holiday clothes on and pretend I'm in Greece.
I have some olives in the fridge to give it that authentic feeling.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Make sure you also have some flea-ridden mangy cats around the place
Also, demolish part of your house to really capture that flavour.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Well my cats are old but not mangy and there's some paint chipped off the door lintel.
That should do.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I love this whole idea

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

man! I used to hate olives
but right now I really want them, and dried tomatoes and feta cheese and pitta bread. NOW!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

That does sound like the stuff

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:05, Reply)

i think I have to get some on the way
back from town, now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:17, Reply)

don't forget the fat hairy guys who seem to wander around doing nothing all day

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:02, Reply)

That will be my neighbour.

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:21, Reply)

me shopping
tomorrow, for books, clothes, shoes, house stuff as it has been ages since I got the chance, its been bed and car shopping eating up the last month along with weekend work

Hopefully golf on sunday but mainly chilling and sleeping
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I'm going to see a whole lot of friends in Guildford
where we will sew robes and make foam shields and in no way drink so much vodka that none of these things happen.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Brooker is massively overrated. So is Stewart Lee. Fat cunt.
Anyways, tonight is being spent at home, mrs is doing me a steak and trimmings with lots of booze. Tomorrow is the Manchester Derby so I'll be on the fucking smash all day. Sunday I'll be curled up on the sofa crying like a great big beer-puff, watching the F1.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Monders! Hello!
Get your missus to knock you up some chimichurri to go with your steak - you'll FACKIN LAV IT old son.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Oooh looks alright that
I'll send her a recipe. Sort it aaaaaaht!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 11:52, Reply)