Where we going on holiday?
Describe your perfect holiday, where would you go? what would you do?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 12:58, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I would go to one of those tiny islands off Australia
and spend the week on the beach drinking from pineapples or in the water pretending I was a mermaid.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Glastonbury
5 days of living in my own filth and getting hammered on cloudy cider whilst drifting between bands.

Perfect.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I'm going to Glastonbury too.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:02, Reply)

It's the highlight of the year.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I'm not looking forward to it yet.
I'm going to buy some new wellies next month then I'll start looking forward to it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I've been doing that for 25 years.
Minus the cider, though, repulsive stuff.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Shit line up
glad I'm not going.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:22, Reply)

True, needs more Bowie

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:24, Reply)

No festival lineup
has appealed to my cockles this year.. That's fine though, saves me the hundreds of dollas..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:34, Reply)

I'm similarly glad I'm not going
but you're wrong about the lineup: amongst the dross are some great acts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Glastonbury
Is the one UK festival where the line-up has next to no bearing on how good a time you'll have there.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:41, Reply)

I'd actually quite like another five days in Cornwall.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Cornwall Dunstable
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:02, Reply)

You wish.
Truely, I'd like long enough to walk around the coast of mainland UK during a summer, staying in quaint B&Bs, camping and cooking fresh sea fish on fires on the beach.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:04, Reply)

that sounds pretty good

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Steady pace, mind.
Eight or ten miles a day along cliffs and beaches. It'd be fucking hard work but so worth it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Will you play the sad walking away music from the Incredible Hulk as you leave each place?
Please?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:13, Reply)

I'm going to have to make a list.
I've already got The Littlest Hobo theme queued up.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Bruckner's the boyo for that !
Striding along the clifftops, salt wind in your nostrils.
Four pints in your bladder.
*sighs*
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:19, Reply)

b m
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Is it the same as the TV show but played on the pink oboe?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:23, Reply)

It brings new meaning to 'dogging'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Wrong thread

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:26, Reply)

You're on form today, sir.
from the little I've seen anyway. Damned work keeping away from the internet.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Damned, damned work...
Good weekend? Mine was a touch 'meh'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Not bad, ta.
Went to see a local band on Saturday but unfortunately I didn't enjoy it as much as I normally would as my eyes were giving me gip and it made me terribly grumpy.

Yesterday was very 'meh' though as the missus wasn't too chipper and it was pissing with rain.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Unlucky - we had glorious sunshine throughout.
So what did I do? Spent yesterday afternoon smoking hashish in a darkened room watching a documentary on Helen of Troy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Yeah - can I come too?
We could pretend to be tramps and everything.

I once met Bill Bryson when he was doing a Cornish Coast Path walk for a book he planned. He'd done about three quarters of the path when we met. Don't remember the book coming out though.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Sure, why not.
I did eight miles of the North coast path from Crackington to Boscastle - it was complete heaven.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:11, Reply)

ton one off
Bos Roy

You sick cunt. Have you no respect for the dead?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:18, Reply)

I think that's the best strikethrough ever

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Why, thank you.
It's not half bad, is it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:39, Reply)

As previously.
6-12 months on Oahu, learning to surf and getting some major polynesian ink.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:02, Reply)

hawaii is way too crowded for surfing these days
costa rica is where it's at
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:05, Reply)

My father agrees.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:09, Reply)

But Costa Rica doesn't have Keebler and the Black Heart Inkshop.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:29, Reply)

it has many less touristy cunts though

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Priorities my man, priorities.
I can put up with many cunts to get inked by a master.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Luton Airport.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Ooo eeee ooooo

( broadsword, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Mexico, I think, to see their ancient sites*
or Cambodia - I really, really need to visit Angkor Wat (and Glitter up a few kids whilst I'm about it, obviously).


*whilst ripped to the tits on peyote, coke and weed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Florence
Or Cumbria.

In Florence I'd be all floaty and that.
In Cumbria I'd go for walks and drink wine under a tree in my fave spot.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:12, Reply)

I went to Venice for my anniversaire last year
it was beautiful. It did flood on the last day so I got a bit soggy, but worth it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Heli snowbaording in Alaska

pristine mountains, wide empty spaces and a warm lodge with wine and meaty goodies to come home to.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:19, Reply)

goodies lumberjacks
home to up
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Bit off pot-and-kettle, from
someone whose middle names are 'likes' and 'little'.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:23, Reply)

DAMNED LIES.
Middle names are 'Peregrine' and 'St. John'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Totally 'sinjun' you are

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Monty Peregrine St.John Boyce
has a nice ring to it.
I like the internal rhyming couplet.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:32, Reply)

A little cottage on the West coast of Scotland.
With friends, one of whom must be able to play the guitar.

As I'm actually going to Greece with Tourettes and DG this year, I anticipate that this holiday will come a very close second.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Me! Me! Me! Pleeeease!

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:26, Reply)

guitar otter's pocket
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Would you settle for neighbouring rooms on a Greek island
With a woman whose farts sound like an elephant playing a saxophone?

*Ninja editor*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Does she swear in her sleep?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:31, Reply)

She does, actually.
One night she was mumbling away to herself, getting quite irate at something, then sat bolt upright and exclaimed, very loudly, "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!". Then she lay back down and continued muttering.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Please tell me you are going to start recording "The nocturnal ramblings of a Sweary mind."
I know a similar blog already exists but that would be brilliant.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Unfortunately she speaks a lot of Greek when she's sleep talking.
I don't understand it most of the time.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I don't think any holiday is ever perfect, I had a wonderful time last year and on the last day was sick, came home with a 3 week flu
I'd like to visit the north, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Whats in Masschusetts, Connecticut and Rhode Island?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Some nice McDonald's I hear..

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:36, Reply)

It was actually a serious question
All I know is what I've seen in Me, Myself and Irene and Family Guy.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Ahh - obsure reference to the MaCtRi i presume.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Sadly I have no idea what you're on about..
Alternatively, I will play along and make out that I'm a reaaaaal smart!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:40, Reply)

I probably should have checked the Ri is the abbreviation for Rhode Island
but couldn't be arsed.

Do enlighten us Kristine.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:44, Reply)

RI

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:46, Reply)

TA

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:48, Reply)

YW

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:49, Reply)

YM

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:55, Reply)

I had McDonalds on saturday, it wasn't as horrible as I expected.
Probably because all the alcohol I drank on friday killed my taste buds.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I'm ashamed to admit on /ot which is notoriously foodie
that I love a Big Mac. I feel like crap afterwards but mmmmmmm..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Well,
Massachusetts has no lights, Connecticut has Yankees and Rhode Island has red chickens.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:36, Reply)

I don't know.
Have you ever heard a song and it gives you a whimsical feeling?
Like you should be in a certain place listening to this song at a certain time?
Like you shouldn't be where you are?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I want to go to San Fransisco and wear yellow flowers in my hair.
(Which I can do now it's long)
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I wouldn't mind going back to Frisco some day.
I think it's possibly one of my favourite cities what I've been to.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Frisco the Seventies
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Is there a city called 'The Seventies'?
*confused face*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:50, Reply)

In the Land of Wishes,
yes, there is.

For me San Francisco will always be the Seventies.
I was a serious hippy, man.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I want to go to Boston and drive down a road covered in red leaves.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Boston's alright
if you don't mind IRA-funding 'oi'm Oirish, so I am, so I am' tossers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Don't you wish people were patriotic about their OWN countries?
Instead of these plastic paddies as they are known at Celtic Park..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I'm not as patriotic as I should be.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:45, Reply)

There is no level of patriotism that one must aspire to.

It is down to individual choice.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Misty-eyed notions of 'roots'
cause a fairly large proportion of the world's problems. The Israel situation could be viewed as an extension of that, to a certain extent...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Yugoslavia would be the same
a fantastic experiment in country creation, in this case defining people by location and in Isreal by religion.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Earworm.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mcz_YjR3LKQ
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:54, Reply)

That is a wonderful record.
When I moved to London I stole my father's 45 of that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:56, Reply)

It always brings me happy memories of my yoof.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Number one when I was born :)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I have that whenever I hear Smiley Culture

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Remeber the advert he did?
Nat West?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I know I've said it before,
but I still think the solution to the whole problem is The Gaza Strip Beer Festival.

Granted, both sides would have to put aside a few fairly important religious prohibitions, but in my experience, there are few friendlier atmospheres than a medium-sized beer festival. Give them a few hours to put away some refreshing pints of ale with some pork scratchings and they'd soon realise that they were all perfectly nice people and the whole thing really wasn't worth squabbling over. Then they'd eventually get to the sad-drunk stage and start tearfully apologising for the way each side treated the other and eventually they could just relax about it and LEARN TO SHARE PROPERLY LIKE GROWN-UPS.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:57, Reply)

And finish the day with
You are my best fucking friend and I love you, mate.(hic)

No pork scratchings in Gaza though. Bad idea. Loadsa peanuts of various denominations.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)

A minor logistical problem. We'd have to ship the beer from Britain
so I'm sure a lorry load of pork scratchings and pies could be arranged as well.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Then again,
Hatred of pork products could be a first step at union for them.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Driving round the world.
I don't know what 150,000 stranded Britons are whinging about, to be honest. I'd relish the chance at impromptu overland travel.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Three. count 'em, three -
quite seperate families I know got 'stranded' on holiday and the solution by their tour operators was to book them another week.
"My Hell in Corfu" stories will follow no doubt.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:59, Reply)

I watched 'Fat-tongue in Marrakech' last week
and pined to return to Morocco. Not to Marrakech itself which I think I'd struggle with (bit too mental) but to the beautiful coastal town of Essaouira. I love the idea of selecting seafood fished that very morning, from the catch displayed by the man who caught it, and then having it grilled for you on the quayside by his family.

I can smell it now. MmmMmmmMMMmmmmm......
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Is Morocco really that good?
because i've been to Egypt twice (only for diving though) and Tunisia once, and North Africa seems like a horrible shit-hole. Yet everyone I know who has been to Morocco loved it.

Please be explaining...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)