If you could punch one person who would it be and where would you punch them?
I'd like to punch Harriet Harman in the neck as she seems to represent everything I hate about politicians.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:31, 107 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lord Mandelson
I'm surprised J K Rowling hasn't mentioned that he's the role model for Voldemort
(JohntheDane, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Alright JohntheDane

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:35, Reply)

NEWBIE!!!!!!

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Quick!
Bully Him! Online!

Actually in all seriousness, I heard his mum likes it when you act out her rape fantasies.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Pffft bloody hell al.
I thought that was just my mum.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:50, Reply)

No
your mum is just really unlucky.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:52, Reply)

John McCririck
Fat, smug, self-satisfied cunt. He is such an unmitigating arsehole.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I've no idea why he still lets his mum dress him.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:46, Reply)

I saw the celebrity wifeswap with him on it
it almost put me off fried chicken.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Sarah Palin in the ovaries

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:37, Reply)

I assume to prevent her spawning any more right wing sproglodites

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:37, Reply)

nah
just to hurt her as much as she's hurt me
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:48, Reply)

You get her ovaries, I'll get her jaw.
What's the difference between her ovaries and her mouth? Not everything that comes out of her ovaries is retarded.
( Wanderer, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:39, Reply)

I beg to differ
her kids seem pretty fucking thick.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:49, Reply)

But only one is technically retarded

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:51, Reply)

The ones who've been in the media, anyway.
Bristol obviously doesn't have two grey cells to rub together, and the youngest has Down's. The others have at least had the sense to STFU in public.
( Wanderer, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:52, Reply)

She named one of her children "Bristol"?
*scratches head in disbelief*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:02, Reply)

maybe she's doing that think that the Beckses did
where she names her kid after the town it was conceived in.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:06, Reply)

It would be better if it was just where they were conceived in general.
Then it might be Walmart, LaQuinta, Carpark, Mensroom and Wafflehouse.
( Wanderer, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Ayup.
And then Bristol got pregnant by a boy named Levi.

Piper. Track. Willow. Trig. (That last one is the mong, btw.) Palin said the eldest girl was named after Bristol Bay, where the family fishes.

Named after a mudhole full of fish. Classy.
( Wanderer, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Classy Sexy
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:07, Reply)

I reckon she was named after the Bristol Channel
in commemoration of the wide dirty passage she was born through
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:12, Reply)

there are too many people to choose from
and generally it'd be face or neck
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Violence is never the answer.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:40, Reply)

pussy

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:41, Reply)

That's because no-one is asking you the right questions.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:43, Reply)

You're just saying that cos you're scared of how many people are going to say you.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:43, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:44, Reply)

I thought you were talking about me down there until you said "on my course"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:45, Reply)

me too
I was a bit disappointed
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Oh, sorry.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Violence has shown on numerous occasions who is a better boxer.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Rush Limbaugh in the gut
because it would be about impossible to miss. And as my arm would probably sink in up to the elbow as I reached for his spine, it would be deeply satisfying.
( Wanderer, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:41, Reply)

The completely up himself, smug, "look how clever I am" git on my course
Right in his stupid massive round glasses.


Edit: And Psychochomp of course.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:42, Reply)

hello!
Are you coming up t'pole tomorrow?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:45, Reply)

hehe
"coming up t'pole"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:46, Reply)

I most certainly am!
I'm very excited to practice extended butterfly.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:47, Reply)

w00t
It's one of my favourites, now that I've finally got it. I just wish I could do bastard Ayesha.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:48, Reply)

I've no idea what you're talking about
but I like it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Awesome, I await your expertise.
Which one is Ayesha again? I think that's one we call a different name.
I need to practice my elbow grip with straddle as well.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Is dancing like a whore really empowering you as a woman?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Yes.
It requires a hell of a lot more strength and skill than you think. Not every cheap whore can do it. We're not talking just rubbing up against it you know.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I think it should be up to men to tell women what is and isn't empowering.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I dunno
I quite enjoy laughing behind their backs at their misguided attempts at empowering themselves
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I was being sarcastic, don't agree with me.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:03, Reply)

I am also being sarcastic

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:04, Reply)

www.theonion.com/articles/women-now-empowered-by-everything-a-woman-does,1398/
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:04, Reply)

I love the onion
strikethrough away
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I'm going to empower my fist into your face

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:04, Reply)

I'm going to empower my erection
into my hand. Which itself is empowered by all those empowered women dancing around poles in a way that is entirely non sexual.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:06, Reply)

hand mouth

we know why you are having back problems. there's no need to hide it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:09, Reply)

it is sexual
but it's also really athletic and fun.

It also depends on where you go for classes. There are some places that teach lapdancing together with pole dancing and then there are places that teach you how to do the gymnastic moves rather than the grinding.

Guess which one I teach.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:10, Reply)

the slutty one?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:23, Reply)

that would be empowering indeed
do you do pole dancing for empowerment, or for exercise and because you enjoy it?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:07, Reply)

exercise and fun
it's really good fun so you don't notice you're getting a workout. Plus the moves that we do require so much strength that we become really toned. I've got totally sweet guns.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:11, Reply)

glad you are doing it for the sensible reasons :-)
I can barely manage one chin up, but I'm a heavy motherfucker.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:13, Reply)

psh I've got that shit down
Applebite and I can lift our entire bodyweight right over our head.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:14, Reply)

You betcha.
Using only one arm as well
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:19, Reply)

haha
I tried doing one handed inverts for a while, but I nearly kicked myself in the face so I stopped.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:38, Reply)

my bodyweight is considerably more than yours I suspect

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:21, Reply)

That's not an excuse

(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Also
www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/apr/18/students-pole-dancing-david-mitchell
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:34, Reply)

I think that's a bit unfair
I do agree that women who say its empowering are wrong, but to say pole dancing is grim and women who want to learn it are stupid and impressionable is disagreeable.

I don't do pole dancing so I can dance for men or even in front of men, I did it because it started out as a giggle and then became a really good form of exercise. Yoga gets you into far more filthy looking positions than pole dancing, but because of pole dancing's origin people think it's sleazy. That's fine if you only know of the pole dancing that's in strip clubs where the women wear tassles and huge stilettoes. It doesn't have to be like that, it can also be athletic and gymnastic, but people who've never seen that just assume that as soon as we get in a pole dancing class we all strip naked and start gyrating when that's not the case at all.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:44, Reply)

The argument that yoga gets you into dirtier looking positions
is surely negated by the fact that in yoga, the position is designed to exercise and/or stretch you, whereas in pole dancing, the position is designed entirely to look dirty.

I don't really know where I stand on the issue. On the one hand I don't see anything wrong per se with learning to pole dance as a form of exercise, but, were I to have a daughter, I wouldn't want her to be a pole dancer.

And if pole dancing is really good like gymnastics, why not do gymnastics?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:46, Reply)

it's the combination of dance and the gymnastics
plus you can't really take up gymnastics as a hobby, it's not like a drop-in drop-out kind of thing.

I know pole dancing is supposed to be sexualised and you can't be a professional pole dancer without being a stripper as the two just don't go together. Having said that, the bar I teach in have asked me to dance there on a Saturday night to advertise the classes and to keep people in the bar with the entertainment. Whilst I'd like to believe that people will stay to watch because they want to see an impressive form of dance, for the most part I know they'll just be perving.

I'm not one of these people who says that pole dancing is empowering and it's not sexy, it is, but to me it's only as sexy as watching girls doing salsa dancing and the like, it all depends on how you dance. My teacher was off sick one night and so her friend came and stood in and she was a lap dancer and she couldn't teach us any of the moves that our previous teacher had been working on, she just showed us how to grind and hump the floor and stuff, which wasn't what we were looking for.

Pole dancing was originally designed to be slutty and stuff, but it doesn't have to be, which is what these women bang on about when they say it's empowering, it's only as slutty as you want to make it. Some women in clubs grind all over the place like they're having sex with themselves, they don't even need a pole.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I did gymnastics for eleven years.
I find dance to be a better work out, and much more fun and sociable. Plus it puts less stress on my knees (important since my knees are fucked from my days as a runner).

I use a lot of the techniques I learnt in gymnastics in dance, and some of the moves are very similar - they both look massively impressive when done properly. If you had a daughter, you wouldn't mind her being a gymnast, I assume. Its just that pole dancing has all the stigma attached. My parents are perfectly fine with me dancing, because they know I'm not about to start doing it for money.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I'm with Kitty.
I so my best to avoid mentioning it when I meet someone new, because they automatically picture the sleazy version, and men tend to get this glint in their eyes and will invariably throw their arms in the air and say "Dance on me then, use me as the pole" or some other such line.

What the majority of classes entail is not essentially dry humping an eight foot rod, but complicated and difficult gymnastics, it requires a lot more skill and fitness than you'd expect. If women want to learn it to go onto a career of low lighting and notes being stuffed in their knickers, then that's up to them, but everyone I know does it because it's fun, and a really excellent toning workout.

Personally, I would hate to do it naked, the friction burns would be horrible.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:53, Reply)

I fully appreciate where you are coming from
however, I don't like the "it requires a lot more skill and fitness than you'd expect" comments. It's fairly apparent to look at it that it's not particularly easy and requires a fair bit of strength.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I mean as opposed to what most people think of when they think pole dancing,
i.e. The body rolling, strutting and general rubbing, rather than proper pole dancing. More people have seen this version than the gymnastic one.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

I guess.
I've seen more of the gymnastic variety
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I also have weak arm muscles
strong shoulders though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Pussy.
Before I fucked my neck up I could do 6 chin ups in a row. I'm quietly proud of this achievement.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:47, Reply)

I'm really shit at them
and it troubles me somewhat

if I ever fall off something and end up hanging at arm's length then I'm fucked.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Excercise and fun.
It really is an excellent workout. I have abs of steel.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:14, Reply)

and dynamite areolas

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Hell yeah.
And thighs that could strangle a grown man
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:20, Reply)

mine can crush cans
so that they're easily recyclable.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Did you hear about that Australian bar maid, a while ago now.
She got fined for crushing cans in the bar with her breasts.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 17:07, Reply)

nipples made of explosives?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Yes.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:38, Reply)

This comeback of yours must be pretty damn amazing
considering how long you've spent working on it. In case you've forgotten the original insult it was, "'The walk of shame'. Or as it's known by Applebite, 'The daily walk home'"
( djtrialprice, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Awww man, she ain't gonna come back from that
unless it's with last nights knickers in her handbag.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I'm working on it, don't worry.
Damnit! Now I have two insults to think of. :(
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Don't be silly
She lost those at her peak drunkeness and has no idea where they are now
( djtrialprice, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I have NEVER lost my knickers.
Had them nicked, yes. Never lost them though.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 17:12, Reply)

It's empowering me physically
I could totally have you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:02, Reply)

It's just inverting and then taking your legs off
but I can't get my balance right so I just keep falling off.

I can't do elbow grip, I can only do the one where you invert, get your elbow grip and then bend your legs 90 degrees forwards, but it's kind of cheating as I'm gripping with my legs as well as my elbow.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Ahh, I think I know which you mean. We wil have to compare.
I had that one down before I took my break, so I'm probably terrible at it now.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:15, Reply)

I should be able to do it since I can do handspring
but my ass just overbalances me
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:17, Reply)

It's bully psychochomp day today it seems.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:52, Reply)

It's always bully psychochomp day when I'm here.
And you said yourself you were expecting it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I was expecting it from you,
dg bullied me on /talk earlier www.b3ta.com/talk/6778486
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:54, Reply)

HAHAHA

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:57, Reply)

No I didn't.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I did initially think you when he said DG.
And then I thought, surely not, DG is far too nice for that.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I am that.
:D
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I think he might be as funny as he thinks he is, on this occasion at least!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:58, Reply)

he's still got a cunt face.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:58, Reply)

There is also something of Russel Brand about him...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:00, Reply)

My neighbour.
In the ear. I figure hurting his ears will let him know how much he's hurting mine with his warbling.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:44, Reply)

My boss.
In the cunt.

But only if i could wear metal gauntlets. Firstly to prevent fanny seepage on my fist and secondly to inflict maximum clunge trauma.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:04, Reply)

"Maximum clunge trauma"
I want to hear this in a delivery room.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I suspect you don't
unless you are in the habit of attending the delivery of other women's children.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:29, Reply)

It's a hobby
Sneaking in and wanking, pretending the cries of childbirth are porno noises.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:34, Reply)

I live with a midwife student.
So she can listen out for it and report back.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:38, Reply)

my upstairs neighbour
for being shouty AT ALL FUCKING HOURS.

or maybe the cunt somewhere above whose drilling coated my entire flat in fucking dust.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

That's odd, drilling in another flat to cause dust in yours..
unless they were surreptitiously drilling little holes in the ceiling to spy on you. Was most of the dust in the bedroom?
(Cave Duck, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 17:56, Reply)