Went to the doctors last night.
He briefly discussed my impending menopause : (
I'm not fucking heading to old age without a fight.

What's made you feel fiesty today?
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:26, 93 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Nothing.
I am totally feistless. Slept like a log but woke up knackered. Still managed to annoy a fat ugly woman though.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:34, Reply)

details please

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:06, Reply)

He didn't tell her details when she asked.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I don't feel feisty, but it's nothing a good insult won't fix.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Erm, Arse-Goblin?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:36, Reply)

A good insult.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:37, Reply)

Feelin' feisty yet?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:38, Reply)

I'm actually finding it hard to feel anything this morning.
I think my recent short holiday spoiled me for variety :(
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:40, Reply)

Majestic.
*adds to lexicon*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:40, Reply)

I'm sure you've gobbled a few arses in your time.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:41, Reply)

Only on B3ta could that phrase be bandied about without the other person feeling insulted.

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Probably thousands, by now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:46, Reply)

I'm pleased to say, I've never been fiesty.
You may have years of egg laying ahead of you yet, unless you are showing signs now. Just get out there and put yourself about, cougar.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:35, Reply)

I'm not a chicken.
And I'm not the put yourself about type either.
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:38, Reply)

Well maybe it's about time that you started!

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:39, Reply)

I'm a wimp : (

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Go on
What's the worst that can happen?

Apart from the bad AIDS, that is.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Well I for one will never allow my image of BGB to become a smelly, lonely, cat lady.
She will always be stomping on the wicked, and enfolding the deserving in her ample yet still pert bosom.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Ya got that right bro.
*bodypops*
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:59, Reply)

Hmm, the menopause has its benefits
No need to worry about getting up the duff.

I mistyped it originally as nemopause, which made me think of a small orange and white fish stopping in the water. And that made me smile.

Nothing's making me feisty. I'm just feeling slightly dull.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:35, Reply)

You should make a menopause cake
It's like a normal cake but you make it without eggs and no jam filling. be warned though it can come out a little dry...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:56, Reply)

: /

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:57, Reply)

You can still
fill it with cream though!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:58, Reply)

Actually, christ!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:59, Reply)

ha ha ha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:01, Reply)

ew

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Christ.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:58, Reply)

eww ewww ewww eww eww

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

1. Your spelling of 'feisty' has.
2. Not feisty, but very excited:
www.taipeitimes.com/News/bizfocus/archives/2010/04/18/2003470839
Wewelsburg Castle has been opened as an SS Museum - I've always been fascinated by the place after seeing pictures of Himmler's huge circular occult ceremonial chamber, which looked like an over-the-top film set. Apparently there's a giant swastika in which SS officers were to be cremated. Holiday in Germany for Monty this year.
3. Not feisty but convulsed with laughter: a west country woman had an extreme migraine which left her with a Chinese accent. Fucking hysterical - apparently her friends would hang up on her thinking it was a wind-up. Genius: www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/apr/19/migraine-changes-womans-accent

It's going to be a good day....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Was reading about 'Naziland' in the Metro this morning
and I thought, "I bet Monty is already booked up"

Seig Heil


*clicks heels*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Glad I haven't disappointed.
*commissions 'special train'*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:12, Reply)

*buys first class "return"*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Standing room only I expect

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Make a stop at Belsen on the way.
The saddest place I've ever been to.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:19, Reply)

You've obviously never been to Milton Keynes, then.
*high fives self*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:20, Reply)

I hate MK. I always get lost.
At Belsen, there are long mounds with numbers on them 4500, 8000, etc. My good lady asked me what the numbers meant. I told her, the number of dead under each mound. She was a bit quiet after that.

My dad was there, with our army at the end of the war. He told us, he injured himself so he would be sent to hospital, to get away.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:26, Reply)

My grandfather was injured there, too.
He fell out of his guard's tower, pissed. BOOM, BOOM!

Sorry - I had to.
Actually my grandfather saw it all too as he was in the vanguard of the push that uncovered either Belsen or Dachau, and was permanently fucked-up by it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Right, enough is enough
Nazi talk, fair enough.
Special trains, im ok with that
Seig Heil - no problem
MILTON KEYNES - Come on now, you've taken it too far
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:27, Reply)

I'm sorry.
I thought it was a bit 'risqué' but decided against my better judgement to post it anyway. I realise now that I was wrong.

Sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:30, Reply)

*waits for chompy*
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:34, Reply)

*gets in queue*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:38, Reply)

What next Monty?
Where does it go from here? Next you'll be advocating the hilarious and entertaining, yet sincere plotlines from Glee.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

...shortly before removing my face with a shotgun.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Is it a coincidence that MK shares it's initials with an infamous publication? Do de do do.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:42, Reply)

haha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I THINK NOT.
I'd really like to read that book but I don't want to give the 'wrong idea' by buying a copy online. Apparently it's terribly written: Hitler was a bit of a laughing stock amongst the far right elite as he wore lederhosen and didn't know which cutlery to use. The oik.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

To say nothing of his love for the local equivalent of Morris Dancing.
*Shudder* 6.5
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I think it sounds the perfect place for a bash.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)

^ this is the best idea I have heard in some time.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Did someone mention a bash?
*cough* calendar *cough* October.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Morning Monty, btw.
Hows it going in the land of shirters? (London.)
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)

My sincerest greetings to you, Pookles old bean.
I'm in a cracking mood today (won't last,of course). It's gloriously sunny and I can't smell the desperation, poverty and coal that hang like a deathly pall over the grim, sordid lands of the north.

In short, I'm tip-top.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Could be worse.
Could be WALES.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:58, Reply)

No man should suffer the ignominy that is Merthyr.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

There's a reason that bungee jumping is Bridgend's number passtime.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Today is not going well.
I had some paperwork on my new BT account which I put down half an hour ago and I can't find it. I've scoured the office and it's disappeared into some vortex that's floating about the office.
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Dog ate your homework?
Sorry, won't wash. You're far too old for that excuse.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

It's about time you start to breed then.
Still time for a couple of rugrats.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Yeah!
With added risk of chromosonal failure FTW! What would you prefer, an autist or a spacker?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Sometimes my self-restraint impresses me.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I think I'd like an autist.
After all it's what I'm used to.
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:57, Reply)

But would you prefer a high functioning autist
that can communicate effectively but who lacks important social skills, or one at the lower end of the scale that can't talk and shits themselves on a regular basis?

These are important decisions.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Someone like JMG.

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Think of the future
Get the high functioning autist who can at least be steered into a high-paying job as some sort of computing ace so that you can at least live off their vast wealth when retirement comes. Not that I'm being at all mercenary about this.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Pick'n'mix time, is it?
Can I have one of each, please?

I'll be in my trailer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:58, Reply)

We've been over this
You can't put them in a ring and make them fight each other whilst you take bets.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I still think I should be allowed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Get some WELSH cousins to fuck.
The resulting offspring would be kings/queens of the special.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Allowed to collect retards, mongs and autists?
For "The Stupendous Monty Boyce's Amazing Travelling Birth Defect Show"?

Yeah, I'd pay for a ticket.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I could team up with my midget-and-freak obsessed brother
This has massive potential.


*makes appointment to see New Business Manager at bank*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Mongs R Us.
The idea has potential. I think doing away with Bedlam, and travelling freak shows, destroyed the British Empire.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:11, Reply)

And dwarf throwing.
Apparently this is not pc.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)

If they misbehave
You can just put them on a high shelf.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)

My brother has a newspaper clipping
of a guy who was deprived of his living by this noble sport being banned. It was an impassioned plea for common sense: effectively 'if I want to be thrown around pubs for money, why can't I'.

Personally I think CGI will ulitmately put 'de little peeple' out of work.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:21, Reply)

The world has gone mad.
*shakes head*
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Well, if you're providing 'employment' to those in need of 'special care'
You can play the Equal Opportunities Card.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:13, Reply)

If you're angling for the PR job, it's yours.
I like the way you're handling the potential negative spin that nay-sayers and the 'PC brigade' might try to put on what is clearly a purely altruistic venture.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:19, Reply)

My mate's cousin is a dwarf, he's always described her as a perfect blow job machine.
Someone commented if she got a flat top hair cut, you could skin up on her head at the same time. This is one of the best ideas EVER.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I like your mate.
I like him a lot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:24, Reply)

The man speaks a lot of sense
After all, you can't skin up on a Dyson...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I tried once.
The Rizlas fell off.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:31, Reply)

+ unless you cut me in for a piece of the action.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Don't know about "feisty" but it certainly woke me up a bit yesterday evening
when I chopped up some chillis to throw into my dinner and then went for a wee. Every bloody time...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Ahh, the dreaded 'Taco Bell'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Haha! Yes, I even thought ahead
and washed my hands with washing-up liquid. Clearly not thoroughly enough.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I made chilli in cornwall.
THREE FUCKING TIMES I rubbed my eyes. THREE.

*does not display learning behaviour*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Don't you think you have enough problems without giving yourself gammy eyes as well.

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I feel a little bit left out as I don't appear to have any actual health problems, so I figured I'd fit in a bit better here if I crippled myself somehow.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Left eye, right eye, Jap's eye, was it?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I really wish I had at least got a different eye each time, but no.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Not your Jap's eye
I can assure you.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:13, Reply)

LoL. First of the day.
I've got some cream for nerve damage that is made from extract of chilli.
Burns your fucking eyelids does that stuff.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Based on last night's experience
The nerves in my bell-end are working perfectly well. Don't think I'll be needing that cream any time soon.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 10:03, Reply)