Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
I've had some fucking spiffing tophole news.But I won't elucidate until the is are dotted and the ts crossed. And the dotted line is signed upon.
What are you keeping quiet about for now?
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:57, 164 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Leaving my current work asapShhhhhhhh
(
whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:00,
Reply)
Don't be so meanHe looks nothing like her.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:37,
Reply)
I certainly hope not(
whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:43,
Reply)
Points for "fucking spiffing tophole", btwAlthough it does sound a bit like a dolphin blowing spaff out of his blowhole
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:05, Reply)
Keeping quietand sneaking around so I don't have to meet my tutor. More work than you think, and a pounding heart every time I see a beard
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:06,
Reply)
A beard you say?(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:09,
Reply)
yes a beardand no not like Kelly McGillis. But genuinely everytime I see a tall man with a beard and glasses I think I'm going to faint
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:10,
Reply)
Watched Top Gun again recentlyWhatever happened to Kelly McGillis? She was smokin' in that movie
Sorry, probably not helping your beard-and-glasses paranoia
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:17, Reply)
Top Gun is a fun filmbut I've never seen Kelly McGillis in anything else (to my knowledge)
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:23,
Reply)
Me eitherHence my confusion. Is she your type? Complete lack of massive fake tits, I believe
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:24, Reply)
she's really prettythough from a quick google search not so much anymore.
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:27,
Reply)
holy shitshe has not aged well at all
I've seen the film Witness that she is. She plays an Amish woman that Harrison Ford (I think) is protecting from criminals after she and a kid witnessed something.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:29,
Reply)
Haven't seen itthere wasn't very much chemistry between her and Tom Cruise. Probably because of the hate thing
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:35,
Reply)
WellKelly McGillis is a lesbian
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:42,
Reply)
Really?Or only in your dreams?
Edit: Wiki says yes. Impressive 80's actress sexuality knowledge
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:45, Reply)
she genuinely isI remember hearing vaguely about it, so just checked wikipedia and apparantly she is now out. Twenty years too late
Edit: reading that back I realise that would make me one years old. But you know what I mean
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:46,
Reply)
:( I was an early developerbut genuinely she is a lesbian, and she and Tom Cruise disliked each other something wicked
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:50,
Reply)
If you tell a bunch of perverts that you were an early developerwe're all going to choose to believe you're talking about your boobs
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:53, Reply)
on a one year old?You're sick Darth Foxtrot, sick
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:54,
Reply)
there should be a witty reply to thisbut kid-shagger is the only thing coming to mind. You and Kelly McGillis both after the one year olds
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:03,
Reply)
Most presumptuous of you to believe that whilst filming Top Gun and hating Tom CruiseKelly McGillis was pining for your one-year-old self.
No, hang on, I've got my maths wrong. You weren't born when Top Gun was made. Oh, that's depressing...
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:08, Reply)
Yes I bloody doI'm older than my preposterously immature demeanour would have you believe
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)
Hah you think you're oldI remember turning 21!
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:37,
Reply)
So do Ivaguely. I had a cracking night out in Nottingham, then some bastard in green tights nicked all me presents
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:40, Reply)
but he did give them to the poorso don't complain Mr Sheriff
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:41,
Reply)
That's what happenswhen you do a history degree :(
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:52,
Reply)
I grew up in NottinghamWe have that Merry Men shit beaten into us from an early age
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:58, Reply)
now that's niche pornif ever there was some
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:09,
Reply)
let me quote you'We have that Merry Men shit beaten into us from an early age'
That sounds decidedly bad to me
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:10,
Reply)
It was clearly meant in a non-sexual contextOn a truly warped, perverted mind could equate such a statement with pornography
Well done
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:23, Reply)
*takes a bow*life is good
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:27,
Reply)
she was hotand drove my all time favourite car.
a good combination
also, I'm tempted to post a photo of myself with my beard and glasses, just to freak Amberl out.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:26,
Reply)
not sure I have any here with me wearing glassesnor do I have a camera to hand.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:33,
Reply)
PEDALODEFECATOR!(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:36,
Reply)
I'VE NEVER SHAT ON A PEDALO!But I did once cry in public, tug my penis and scream the lords prayer.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:39, Reply)
because I'm nastyI got the first post on qotw by accident.
people should read my crap story and click on it
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:38,
Reply)
I only wear certain parts of itarmband, stockings, the usual stuff.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:41,
Reply)
no(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:41,
Reply)
I feel compelled to click itJust because of your kind words about my last effort.
So I will.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:42, Reply)
I've been shagging your missus behind your back.Getting out of sight every time you turned around was starting to become wearing though, so I've decided to come clean. I can't take the pressure anymore.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:06,
Reply)
That's OK.I wondered why I was getting off lightly of late.
Thanks for your selfless actions. It means a lot.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:08, Reply)
There are lots of things I don't do, that I say I do. And there are a lot of things that I do do, that I don't say I do.heheheheheh, I said 'do do', that's a bit like 'poo'.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:29,
Reply)
in case you don't see it on /talkI wouldn't bother growing asparagus. the plants need to be a year (or two) old before they produce the edible stuff.
I suppose you could get year old plants....
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:46,
Reply)
My lustful thoughts towards another B3tan.I don't want to put the fear of God into everyone on here.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:44,
Reply)
I can handle it, don't worry(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:45,
Reply)
Marvellous!Oh, wait...20 years ago for me or for you? Because that would have made me 18, and I was totally crap back then
(
bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:58,
Reply)
I was 25 and fully ensonced in my lesbian phase.I made a very cute lesbian but like you I was totally crap.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:00,
Reply)
Ah, I seeI would just like to point out that I have improved with age...Just saying!
(
bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:03,
Reply)
As the lack of interest of men in me seems to be firmly intrenched now, I would not count yourself out.(
girlinthehole, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:06,
Reply)
Handswas of course, a euphemism
(
bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:16,
Reply)
she meantshe'd rather shag you than Pyschochomp, let's not forget the qualification in that sentence
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:55,
Reply)
I was going to say I'm not sure I could shag someone who voted Conservative.And then I remembered I have : )
(
girlinthehole, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:59,
Reply)
right we're sorted thenbesides I'm the nice sort of Conservative
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:59,
Reply)
There is no nice sortthere is the bad sort who know what they are voting for, and the stupid sort who don't realise what they are voting for.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:04, Reply)
That's your opinionno more or less valid than anyone else. I don't think I'm stupid, and I certainly don't think I'm bad, and I'm fucked if I vote Labour, while Lib Dems are pretty much useless
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:06,
Reply)
no actuallynon affiliated politically, they don't reveal who they vote for
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:32,
Reply)
not reallywe're an open family. Politics gets discussed a lot and we were encouraged to choose our own views. My mother is not eligible to vote since she now lives in Ireland, and my father despoiled his ballot paper last election I believe. If I asked either of them straight out they'd tell me, I know my father has voted for Labour at least once.
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:47,
Reply)
what I'm saying isneither of them has ever said 'I'm going to vote for *insert political party* because of such-and-such' or come back home and said 'I voted for so-and-so.' I'd have to ask to find out
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:12,
Reply)
God I want to sex him so hardI'd better not watch the debate tonight. I don't think my cock will be able to cope with his manly debating prowess. He's so manly.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:30, Reply)
Damn you and your excellent memory for details!Useful for a history student, I suppose
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:59, Reply)
if only my exam paper was'The sexual tension between BGB and Darth Foxtrot: you may include prior examples of their interaction with Vipros'
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:00,
Reply)
Shit! you could write a thesis on my sexual tension.(
girlinthehole, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:04,
Reply)
That does sound a lot more fun than the thesis I'm supposed to be writing...(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:26, Reply)
You say that in jestOne day Off Topic will be the basis for all Oxbridge English Literature exams
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:05, Reply)
I like that both of youare carefully ignoring the Vipros mention, which after all does give the grounding to the whole thing. Two lonely souls united in rejection by Mr Beardy
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:07,
Reply)
Whilst I admit to thinking Vipros is awesomeHe is categorically not my type. It's the beard. I am not in agreement with Lord Flashheart on this one. Stubble-rash in the insides of the thighs is no fun at all.
So I'm told
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:10, Reply)
Nice save there DarthI am undecided whether to refer to you as Darth or Foxtrot or DF
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:22,
Reply)
Some of my friends call me Foxyif that helps. It can't possibly make me any more of a girl in your eyes
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)
Foxy it is thensince everyone likes foxes and they can't grow beards
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:36,
Reply)
I just attempted to anagram my nametop three were
Ramble
Marble
Ambler
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:54,
Reply)
OhI assumed your name was Amber L. Am furiously trying to work out what your name actually is now, and it's driving me mental. This is why I applied for Weakest Link and not Countdown
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:57, Reply)
My actual nameis not related to my username at all. I just liked the sound of Amberl
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:08,
Reply)
everythinglest I get shouted at
I'm only speaking when spoken to
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:46,
Reply)
Dunno. Be careful though. Unfamiliar surroundings can cause accidents.(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:53, Reply)
Hush now everone and check out Captain Jack Snailow!
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:59,
Reply)
Most pets do.I took Biscuit to the vets today for a check up on her scar from the neutering and she did the smelliest fart ever but it was ok because the nurse had a cold.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:07,
Reply)
You're only young.Plenty of time to get gassed by an animal.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:12,
Reply)
Sexual organs in a red string bag.Something wrong with your eyes today?
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:06, Reply)
It's like a freakish crossbetween a hen, a bag of satsumas and some reflecto-porn.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:06,
Reply)
Looks like a bag of onions and possibly a butternut squashOr a giant, malformed cock
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:07, Reply)
I think you need to get outta my face and bother someone less awesome(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:25,
Reply)
Sister! Cool your jets! Kick back and chill.Edit remembered the right word!
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:31, Reply)
I actually grinned at it.I imagined you with one hand on hip leaning forward and wagging a finger while saying it. And adding Fool at the end.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:53, Reply)
hmmm I don't say it quite that sassymore blunt, with an added eyeroll
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:03,
Reply)
I've not told anyone apart from you lot about Mentalex's twins.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:05,
Reply)
It either speaks volumes about the degree of safety, familiarity and security Monty embraces by being a part of OTor about his mental wellbeing. But if Off Topic has provided you with a much-needed outlet, a place to vent your frustration upon sympathetic and helpful ears, then it has surely served a more worthwhile purpose than it was ever intended to.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:13, Reply)
Off Topichas provided me with a much-needed toilet.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
I think that was my best ever post.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:20,
Reply)
I think I agreealthough any post with Jimmy Hill in is worthy of recognition
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 15:29,
Reply)
Like some sort of online peer group therapy?(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:18,
Reply)
they helped me realisea self diagnose of internet aspergers
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:24,
Reply)
and I have internet brain AIDSin my cock
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:25,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »