An era has come to an end. I have given up teh alcohol, and not before time I don't mind telling you.
Since I started my medically-assisted withdrawl I have been drinking considerably more coffee than I used to, along with a lot more fruit juice and plain old water.
I feel happier, more optimistic, clearer of mind.
However, almost certainly as a result of the mental clarity, I have realised just how frustrating I find my dear father.

Who would you most like to "whup up the side of the head with a lead-filled snow-shoe" and why?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:10, 122 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Medically assisted?
Explain.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Antibuse?

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Oh god
that sounds narstee
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Sudden withdrawal
from booze for an alcoholic can have potentially serious side effects such as seizures.......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Hence the medical assistance.
;-)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Daily visits to the "Junky Bunker" (as I have named it) for Chlordiazepoxide aka Librium.
Ironically more addictive than alcohol LOL
Eases the physical effects of alcohol withdrawl by numbing you a bit.
Quite nice stuff actually, although I shouldn't say that...
Was not a pleasant experience but worthwhile...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Only 5 more steps to go

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:12, Reply)

6 actually.
As you know it's a seven step programme.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I was talking about this
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post565387
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:24, Reply)

That whole thread is fucking hilarious
I remember reading that when it happened.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Aw, we don't get many dramalols these days.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:33, Reply)

All the interesting actually followed through on their promises to kill themselves.
And then RadG totally put us in our place by getting upset in a totally ironic fashion.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Just wait until roota and dj break up.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:34, Reply)

I'm really excited about that day.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I think we should pick sides now.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I feel kind drawn to be on dj's side since I'm off to Donington with him
But, Roota is a chick and if I'm all nice she might post pictures of her tits online. Plus I once filled her pockets with frazzles.

It's a tough call.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Vultures, the lot of you.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:45, Reply)

She won't steal my 'oh my God I've been dumped, waaaaaaaaaa' crown.
If she get's dumped that is, which I doubt.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I thought it was a plaque?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:38, Reply)

No!
That's my heirloom.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Moorcroft if I remember rightly.
*Gets BGB so pissed she forgets to put the alarm on.*
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

5.
1) withdraw from alcohol.
2) get off the Librium.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Fuck yeah, it was a 6 point plan.
D'oh!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Is it true there is a self-help group for people who talk too much?
Called On and On Anon.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:31, Reply)

We do a lot of online peer group pyschotherapy
or we used to until a lot of people went to KFC afterwards.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Can you please write me a 25 point list
on how best to cope with not being a boozed up cockweasel
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:19, Reply)

He can't right now, he's got to go sleep with his beautiful wife.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I thought he had to do some welding,
while doing a bit of light joinery, and building a wall.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:23, Reply)

She is very fit though
I'm sure blaireau wouldn't mind me saying that either, since I have met her.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Cheers DG!
I'm a lucky fella ;-)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 19:22, Reply)

1. Become friends with althegeordie

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Al the list isn't
How to BECOME a massive cockweasel
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Step two was going to be "Become friends with TGB/V" so you're right
I'm clearly heading in the wrong direction.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I did that and it didn't work
I want my money back!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I think Al has to be friends with you too.

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:25, Reply)

You're not friends with me!
You're friends with Psychochomp so he can perve over all your filthy corset pictures, but not me.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:25, Reply)

If you want perving, become friends with The Baroness,
she has a ridiculous amount of hot friends on facebook with no inhibitions.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Oh man
if only there was some way to find pictures of hot semi naked girls on the internet without having to befriend a b3ta user I don't know.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:29, Reply)

If there's a better way, I don't know it.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Maybe I should become friends with you on facebook
then trawl through your friends list asking everyone if they are the Baroness and then ask them to be my friend.

That sounds like an excellent use of time.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:35, Reply)

I have a large number of attractive friends on facebook
knock yourself out.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:36, Reply)

I already found applebite through your friends list.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:37, Reply)

ha ha, we're not even friends.
edit: me and you that is, not me and applebite.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:38, Reply)

You were when I looked
otherwise I'm friends with someone who looks just like applebite and has access to her b3ta account.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I'm friends with her
:D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:44, Reply)

That's how I found her in the first place.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Stalky stalky.
Have you met her yet? She's lovely.

She gave me a pep talk in the loos of a club in Manchester telling me that there was nothing wrong with me, but London didn't suit me men-wise.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I'm going to get her drunk in a field

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I am positive you never want to see me drunk again.
There is a large number of people in that club.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:56, Reply)

You should come along to my b3ta stag drinking evening
on the 25th June.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I'm in France :(
drinking and drowning.

I'll be at DG's, I hope, and I'll be at the Earls Court. Though you won't be there. I might pop to the pub after the looking at Animals bash if I really hate myself and don't want to work...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:02, Reply)

trying to save money on a stripper and inviting lampito instead?
sneaky sneaky
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:04, Reply)

POTD

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)

It's quite amusing

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I have not met her yet,
I haven't really spoken to her since I got back from NY. Where is she?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Working probably
I need to go out with her at some point.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:57, Reply)

out with down on
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:02, Reply)

3 days after I met Applebite for the second time I had my first lesbian experience
COINCIDENCE?!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Unlikely
I heard she trawls clubs looking for innocent girls then spiking their drinks.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Oh not with HER
I don't think anyone spiked my drink. Everyone deserved everything they got that night.

(sorry, BGB)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:05, Reply)

You had a lesbian experience with BGB?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Almost.
But I think I was just the warm up act.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:10, Reply)

It was more the "getting what they deserved"
If you remember, BGB drank a whole bottle of red wine and ended up staying in Manc two nights as hse coudln't move. Or something.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:13, Reply)

It was a lot more than a bottle love.

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:15, Reply)

How much do you remember of that night?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I remember dancing in the club and nothing after that.
I don't remember getting back to my room but have a vague recollection of kissing the three amigos on the cheek for looking after me.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Who are the three amigos?
I remember requesting You! Me! Dancing! and being overjoyed that plentyofants knew the words.

I remember Enzyme beating a hasty retreat. Toria leaving, Warren and Nick leaving (hahaha oh god) then the young-uns went to another pub and then I don't know if you know what happened next but it was equally horrifying and hilarious...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Plentyofants, Monty propps and Warren, (who's b3ta name escapes me).
What happened?
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Something quite hilarious
Sure I'll tell you next time I see you, I don't think it's suitable for open board :D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Gaz me.

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)

you're
getting more attractive to me. And I think I'm OK
(BalthasarusWhodatSaintdeVinci, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 22:56, Reply)

Give her a motorboat from me

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Give her one yourself

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:05, Reply)

It's a matter of logistics :(

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I cannot wait for the day you finally meet her
You'll be slavering at the mouth, and then you'll realise it's just Al in a blonde wig in a tutu.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:15, Reply)

If you're going to do that
when will you find the time to have sex with your beautiful bike?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Me and my bike are having a trial seperation at the moment.
I caught it with a new stand.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I think you're on to a million dollar idea there Al

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:34, Reply)

How about I take a load of pictures of you in the buff
and then charge people 5p a time to have a look at them. I could make a website called www.5patimetoseeTGBinthebuff.com and they could e-mail me to make an appointment to see the pictures.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:36, Reply)

I don't think anyone would pay to see me nude

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:37, Reply)

It's only 5p
I'm sure someone would pay 5p if there was both nipples and flaps on display.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:39, Reply)

You wouldn't fit both onto a picture

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:40, Reply)

I've got one of those fish eye lenses

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:40, Reply)

fish japs
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:41, Reply)

There was a program on channel 5 a while ago
where they actually attached cameras both inside a womens vagina and on the end of the chaps erection and showed what happens when you have sex in different positions.

One of the strangest programs I've ever seen.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Did that actually happen outside of your head?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:44, Reply)

It really did
I'm trying to find some link on the internet. But I can't.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Probably have to pay on that site.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Look for footage of a one-eyed mole burrowing through the earth
until it sicks up.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:48, Reply)

It was a bit like that

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Yeah I saw that, I imagine that's how foetuses feel

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Oh good
I didn't just imagine it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I'd be worried for you if you did

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Why did you have to mention you saw it
we could have made him go crazier
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I was starting to get seriously worried
that I had accidentally been watching really odd porn without realising.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:59, Reply)

RACIST!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Awww DiT!
I miss you, I didn't come out for your birthday and I haven't seen you in ages and you've had loads of fun without me. What's going on in your life? Tell me about how you feel?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:52, Reply)

I miss you too you big silly bear.
It has been an awfully long time. Not much is going on, I am having a new tattoo tomorrow and I feel good. We have a beer soon, yes?

I have not received your card yet either. I am sad.

Alright, althegeordie?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Awwww man, I put it in the post on Monday with a first class stamp
I'm annoyed now, it should definitely be there.

I'm going to have a b3ta stag drinking sesh on the 25th June. Are you around then?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:57, Reply)

WHERE'S MY INVITE

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I've only just decided on the date.
If you are free on the 25th I would be very happy if you came along. You should bring Labia Majora too.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:59, Reply)

WE ARE GOING UP NORTH
TO SEE BGB AND PICKLEFACE WE DON'T LIKE YOU AS MUCH AS WE LIKE THEM
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:00, Reply)

what about the friday before?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Friday?
I live far away :(
Can we not do Saturday
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Nope
I have to go to church on sunday (seriously) and I'm not doing that with a hangover.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:18, Reply)

last train is 2320 on a Friday and 2143 on a Saturday
so Friday is better surely?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Hooray!

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Do you want to come?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I'm having a very popular bash and all my time will be taken up arranging things.
But thanks for the invite.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Shit, I might be on my holidays...
Ah, it probably came today then. Hopefully.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:00, Reply)

RIGHT STOP CANCEL THE EVENT
I'm not having it if you're not there.

*cries*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Are you free the friday before?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Diary says yes.
I shouldn't drink too much as I have the London-Brighton on Sunday, but I'll be there! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Is your wedding on July the 10th?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Why?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Because mine is, that's all...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Oh shame
I was totally going to invite you. But I won't bother now.

Unless you are actually my fiancee and this is an elaborate sting?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Maybe you're my fiance and this is a double bluff!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:19, Reply)

sorry! I'll see if I can find you using my mad skillz.
Of looking.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:50, Reply)

You'll recognise my picture

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Is it of your cock?
Are you really Edmund?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Yes
Yes I am.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:01, Reply)