How can people be so dim...
... and manage day to day life. Picture the situation, a contract, a not small sum of money, and a client not knowing the difference between site and sight. (payment to be complete upon sight inspection - not goods on site).

Do I ask too much?

On another note, what's for lunch?
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:12, 93 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

People are idiots.
Sandwiches...again

On a another note I just slipped into a Scottish accent whilst speaking to a Scot, he now thinks I'm an idiot and possibly a twat.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:15, Reply)

I do that,
with an Irish customer, I can't do accents. But I am a twat. Oh BLT on toasted bread, with mug of tea.
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Everyone makes mistakes.
I'm having a prawn and rocket sandwich.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Whooosh!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:19, Reply)

I was confused there.
You seemed to be implying that PsychoChomp had missed the point of the OP. I was unable to see why this was the case. I will flagellate myself with a birch twig in remorse.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:39, Reply)

It's a hilarious joke about rocket.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:45, Reply)

BINGO!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:45, Reply)

I'm not a fan of rocket on a sandwich
I don't like the taste of the hydrazine fuel.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I'm having baked potato again
and today I have a tub of sour cream left over from making cheesecake last night. I've still got to wait 25 mins for lunch though and I'm starving so my belly keeps making noise.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:34, Reply)

No you don't
Branston Beans on Warburtons wholemeal toast.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Free chips
Oh, and how about changing Sight to Visual. that should stop future problems.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Cheese & Ham Sandwich
Egg & Tomato Sandwich (not sure about that one)
1 Banana
Washed down with some Nescafe Gold Blend
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Egg and tomato is awesome
it's like breakfast in a sandwhich that's pretending to be healthy
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:03, Reply)

tomato always makes the bread go soggy
and it's just gross.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I do find that
but can just about cope now.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Ham samwich
and then I'm unzipping my banana
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 12:50, Reply)

tuna mayo and sweetcorn in a bagel
turns out, tesco's own bagels are really rather good.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:50, Reply)

You may as well eat seagull vomit in dog turd bun

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:52, Reply)

that was my first choice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

I hate it when they haven't got what you want at the deli.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:56, Reply)

1x ham, whole grain mustard, tomato, lettuce and cocumber on Granary
1x Salami,tomato, lettuce and cucumber on Granary
1x Breaburn apple
1x bottle of water
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Cockumber?
Oh you edited. You bastard.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Mwahhahaha

No Cockumbers here, move along
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:01, Reply)

There is on the first line.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Ahha!

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Ham, brie, pickle, cucumber and tomato baguette.
Man, it was good. Eaten an hour ago because my hours are odd.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

You're face is odd

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:58, Reply)

ha
classic face joke LOVE IT

Slightly ruined by the wrong your though. B+
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Never gets old

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Unlike your face

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:10, Reply)

My face is already old

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:13, Reply)

that's sounds awesome.
EDIT: except for the tomato, bleurgh.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:03, Reply)

German rye bread with Emmental, Quorn ham slices and cucumber.
I have a small bag of peanut M&Ms for my afternoon coffee.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Quorn dried, pressed, reformed devil's spunk
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Nomnom!
It's the only spunk I'm getting at the moment.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Quorn Ham is congealed whale spunk.
Now finish your sarnie.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:01, Reply)

mind spunk

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Already eaten it.
It was spunkalicious.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Hmmm slices of Moby's dick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Sliding down your throat right now.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Is that turning you on?

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

No,
Sometimes I'm just plain crude.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Yarr - thar she blows, Cap'n.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)

The bitter, spiteful taste of football-related disappointment
and mackerel
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Mackerel spunk?

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I expect my spunk will taste of mackerel later
I'll send you some
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:06, Reply)

If you want fishy spunk simply don't wash for a week

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I want fishy spunk NOW
Any B3tans out there who haven't showered for a week wanna send me their spaff?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:08, Reply)

You're not helping yourself come over as 100% heterosexual you know.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Yeah, you're like some kind of bumming merman

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Isn't that Ethel's brother?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Thank you
for knowing who Ethel Merman is, and making me look less gay by proxy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Everything's Coming Up Roses
was Alan's buzzer on QI last night. Coincidence?
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Yes

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:17, Reply)

I have completely given up on appearing 100% heterosexual to you lot
If I climbed Everest whilst simultaneously having full sex with a woman, drinking absinthe and smoking a camberwell carrot there'd be a sign at the top saying "SHIRTER"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Yeah, but only becuase you have Graham Norton living in your arse
using your prostate as a punchbag
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)

I think your mis-quoting me there.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)

You do know that a carrot is a Freudian symbol of a penis?

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:22, Reply)

everything is a freudian symbol of a penis
here's a joke

Q: how many freudian psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. one to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis ladder.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Absinthe isn't the most masculine of drinks.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

that's true
it is one of the few that has its own fairy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Sokay!
I'll come over and get it myself.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Just so I know
is it the fishy spunk you're prepared to travel for, or just the spunk? I'd hate to let you down after such a long journey with insufficiently fishy spunk.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Just the spunk.
I'm going to save it in a jar and throw it at the lesbians when they walk past my house.

Edit - Not the jar though because that would be mean.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Aha. Perfectly logical
I was going to advise you of easier ways to get sufficient Omega 3 intake that don't involve my spunk
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I wouldn't do it Darth.
You might end up getting a call from the CSA.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:18, Reply)

The Children's Shirters Association?

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

You know what I mean.
Trying to get some of the little wrigglers to impregnate yourself with.

By why Darth?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:26, Reply)

He's a nice guy and will pay up quickly.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Are you a seal?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

No he prefers Badmington

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Que?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I wish I were a seal
They don't know the agony of watching their team bottle it and ship four goals at home to fucking Blackpool in the most important game of the season. So simple a life they lead
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Yeah, but how many footballers get their brains dashed out by canadians?
Not enough is a good answer.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

I'm inviting some Canadians to the cup final
That is an awesome idea
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)

I think it best
that Forest don't get promoted. We all know what happened to Billy Davies and Derby 2-3 years ago..

In fact there are rumours incresing that Davies is going to be the new Celtic manager! I don't think that'll happen because Davies is more Hun (Rangers) leaning..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Very, very true
and whoever goes up via the playoffs is favourite for 20th place next season. But last time we made it to this stage and bottled it we were in League One two years later

Edit: yeah, that seems unlikely as he's an ex-Rangers player. I think the press are contractually obliged to link any Scotsman who's doing well in England to any Old Firm job that comes up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:12, Reply)

It's a difficult league that Championship..
Once you're out and survive the first season though your chances should improve dramatically - Reading had it good for a while and Wolves have done well. Also helps if you can throw cash around like a loon (Birmingham)

(and edit) That is also true. Championship winning Tony Mowbray though had an utter disaster of a season with Celtic. I'm not sure these managers are aware of the step up in pressure. The media are also about 5 x worse with the Old Firm. I don't think your Billy could do it here, but will probably go on to establish himself in the Premiership with one club or another.

It's looking like Neil Lennon's going to step up to be Celtic manager having only experienced 8 games in senior management. It's going to be another trophyless season once the shit his the fan :(
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)

No doubt
With the parachute payments increasing the gap between the Championship and the Premiership is going to widen. So we have to go up next year. Or I'll cry.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)

BEES!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:17, Reply)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)

FUCKING BEES EVERYWHERE!!!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:17, Reply)

ARRRRGHHH MY EYES, NOT THE BEEEEEESSSSSSSSS

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:18, Reply)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Why are people spoiling a perfectly good thread with football talk?

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:17, Reply)

My point exactly
Fish spunk = good
Sandwiches = good
Footbal = bad
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:17, Reply)

DON'T LOOK AT MEEEEE
*shys away*
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:17, Reply)

if we appoint that clown
i'll be seriously pissed off.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)

I found a dead kitten in the road
so I am treating myself to braised pug chops with creamy spunk sauce and kitten fritters
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Whoa! that's a big lunch.
You'll be tired all afternoon.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

innocent Organic Sweet Potato Chili Veg Pot
They're delicious and probably good for you. I am guffing like an Icelandic volcano, though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:45, Reply)