Oh well if it's Shite Thread Day -
Do you name your cars*? What and why?

* or other inanimate objects: your dildos for all I care.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 18 May 2010, 12:34, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

...deja vu
Zippy, Chester, Leicester and Sylvester, currently Cecil.

Zippy because he was a nippy little thing. The next three because they rhymed with Fiesta. Sylvester was my favourite because he was a silver Fiesta. Fuck I'm funny.

Cecil is because his reg kind of sounds like it. And because it annoys Wiggy, the owner of the car.

My guitar is called Pedro because he's a Spanish guitar and that was the first Spanish name my friend thought of.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:37, Reply)

My vibrator is call Tom Cruise because it's small and I keep it in the closet.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:38, Reply)

I love that SouthPark ep
Tom Cruise needs to come out of the closet!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:46, Reply)

no

(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:38, Reply)

My Nissan Micra
is called Mike. I didn't give it that name.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:40, Reply)

My MG was called Rupert when I bought it,
and I thought it was like boats - unlucky to rename them - so Rupert he remained.
I did have a car called Charles long ago. It was a cavalier.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 18 May 2010, 12:44, Reply)

I have a bear on a shelf
his name is Basil
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Mine's called 'Banoffee'
Because if you're hammered and squint a bit, the reg almost looks like something that might say 'Banoffee' if you were retarded.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:45, Reply)

yeah that's the reasoning behind my latest car's name
mostly because it begins with CE and has a C after that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:48, Reply)

My Mini
is called Mini.

Have Ms Santiago to thank for that.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 May 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Inspired

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Yeah, although,
that's the first time I've written it. Maybe she meant Minnie - that would be a bit better. She does refer to it as 'a girl' though. It's a red cooper with white roof and bonnet stripes! There is no more masculine Mini!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 May 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Only possibly if it had a Union Flag on the roof

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Naaawww...
Union jack is for woofters innit!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 May 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I'd love a mini
With a Pirate flag on the roof. Then I'd try to board minis which had Union Jacks on.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Depends if it's a Mini or a MINI really...
if it's a MINI then a Mini is more machoa as would almost anything ads a MINI is a hairdresser's car.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 May 2010, 13:08, Reply)

No, it's a Mini.
There's only one Mini. BMW make a small car with a similar name but having had one as a company car, I can attest that they are utter, UTTER shite. They actually have less room in them than a real Mini.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 May 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Yes, indeed
Hence the post, my sincerest apologies for any aspersion cast upon your masculinity old boy, you sir have the most proper of all proper cars. (salutes)
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)

I'm trying to build up a collection.
I want to get a 1275GT and rat it up. Matt black/rust & fresh shiny chrome is the look I'd go for - kinda mad max stylee.

I'd be the anti-chav. Rolling around town with my tints/alloys and rust, bellowing earth-shattering death metal from the car when near anything in a tracksuit.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)

I'm not sure I'd fit in a mini
I'm 6'2" and I hve to have the seat in my polo all the way back and my hair brushes the roof!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:32, Reply)

My friend
Who is 6'7" had a mini, he took the front seat out and drove it from the back
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:34, Reply)

My hair brushes the roof of my Ka at times

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:35, Reply)

My dad is also 6'2"
and he used to drive a mini as it was one of the few cars at the time with sufficient headroom for him.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Lots of tall people drive Minis for exactly that reason.
You can buy seat extension brackets that allow another 6 inches of rearwards-sliding movement, for around a fiver.

It's the cheap way of fitting into a car.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Mrs V called her car Maizie because it's bright yellow.
I reckon it's because she gets lost in it.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 18 May 2010, 12:51, Reply)

My car is called:
"You stupid bitch, why have you just pissed all over the floor, you've just had a fucking service."

If it ever gets back to normal, it will go back to Babes.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:51, Reply)

My little one is currently having some potty training issues too.
Her radiator is going through about 1/2 litre of water a day. Just waiting on the parts to fix.

Still, best thing about old Minis, parts are still so cheap! New radiator, all new cooling hoses and a new radiator cap, less than £80 delivered!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Would you like some new sils?
I have some in my garage. I do not know why
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:32, Reply)

My computer is called Caprica 1 on my network.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:51, Reply)

My main machine is called Xerxes...

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:53, Reply)

My server is called Preacher
My netbook is called Jesse
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:12, Reply)

I still need to buy the whole collection!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:13, Reply)

If I still lived in Leam I would just
lend them to you! Sorry :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:18, Reply)

My computers are called....
Alvis - After my favourite episode of Sealab
Chia
PJ
MediaCenter
and
Pacman
( Peej, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

My car is called Vixen as she is V reg and foxy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

My PC is called nathanxp
I'm not very imaginative
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

my mate and I had the same car, hers yellow and mine black, hers was Alexis and mine was Jason
I have no idea why
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:30, Reply)

My current car is called Thor
Short for PanTHOR! Named by Evil Pixie's brother.

Most of my previous cars have been called The Hoggmobile. The Marina was called Jubblee as the number plate is JBL and I like boobs.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I like breasts too
I look forward to playing with Thor's cup holders.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:35, Reply)

My bong is called Redman...
...after the rapper and the colour of your eyes after using it.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I call my mate at work Redman
'cos that's his name
( djtrialprice, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Weird innit?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 18 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)

My first car was called Miranda
After Rifleman Perkin's girlfriend who was killed in Sharpe's Battle.

Why? I have no idea.
( Peej, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:39, Reply)

most inanimate things are named along the following scheme
My work laptop -> laptop
My now departed bonsai tree -> tree
etc.
But my car is called Crazy Gay Taxi
( djtrialprice, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)

It's not

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)

My guitars
One is called Marilyn and the other is called Pearl.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:25, Reply)

And I'll ask you why one day.
You make me wonder why I haven't named my guitars (apart from James. And Gretsch. Which aren't truly names): it seems quite remiss of me.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 18 May 2010, 15:47, Reply)

I once had a rubber plant
which I named "Johnny".....
then there was Horace the Morris (Marina). All the other cars have been a little nondescript and hardly worth naming. There WAS Ozzie Rolf the VW Golf many moons ago and my surf was just "the truck". I miss that car.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)

No.
That would just be fucking stupid.

My brother once named one of his shits 'The Belgrano' though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

that is the best answer yet

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Ironically he had enormous difficulty sinking it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)

there is literally nothing better than an ironically named turd

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 15:10, Reply)

You are so very right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

get a room

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

he is not taking the credit
for mine is he????The one so lovingly re-created in an episode of Green Room.......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 18 May 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Up to a point Monty.
But imagine leafy Surrey, where there are four cars on every brick-laid drive. They are all BMWs or Mercedes, probably silver. How to differentiate? You see the problem now, I hope.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 18 May 2010, 15:44, Reply)

My car doesn't have a name yet,
It's a silver Rover 45 and the letters in the numberplate are AK and NZP. Best name suggested by you lot will be used henceforth, go!
(bill, Tue 18 May 2010, 15:46, Reply)

It's not a '57 plate by any lucky chance?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 18 May 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Nope, 02.

(bill, Tue 18 May 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Gunny.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 18 May 2010, 17:21, Reply)

I once had a Volvo..
That my youngest daughter named 'Gothcar'. It was black with a black leather interior and the loudest sound system I've ever heard in a car - fitted as standard.
I also once had a very trick pursuit spec MV6 which was dubbed 'The Beast' by my mates and 'For fuck's sake I've gone through ANOTHER set of rear tyres' by me.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 18 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)