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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Following on from the delaying condoms comments
Ladies, what's the optimum duration of poon-pumelling? How long is too long, and conversely how short is too short? Provide your answers with diagrams if necessary.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:20, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
This conversation is boring,
lets all look at milton keynes this morning.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)
That can't be MK
Not enough roundabouts
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)
That's my walk into work.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:23, Reply)
are you a gypsy?

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)
That big blue sign is for the shopping center,
it's very central milton keynes.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:59, Reply)
or snakes

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)
wow it's MASSIVE

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)
Yeah, that's just from my phone,
I would resize it but it's my birthday so fuck you.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:23, Reply)
Fuck me?
NOW we're on topic.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:25, Reply)
I don't like it
Everything's at an angle slightly off vertical.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:24, Reply)
tilt your head.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:25, Reply)
But then the rest of my world is off
And how do you stop things rolling off your desk?
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)
I can imagine one of the those litle white tenst taht the police use in the background

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)
Your mum's a tenst taht

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)
Wow - looks like the hard shoulder of a motorway,

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 16:10, Reply)
I get bored incredibly easily.
20 mins? Of actual intercourse?
I dunno. Ask someone who enjoys the sex they have :(
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)
Which hole?
This is important.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)
You can provide answers for any and all holes

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)
3 minutes in the ear

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)
I can only manage a minute of hardcore nasal though, before i spluff everywhere.
Even less if I'm the giver.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)
To be honest, it's like saying how long is a peice of string.
It all depends on the guy and how knackered you are.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)
I have found 3 hours to be way too much
and for too short, I guess it depends on what/where you are, if it's a superfast quickie in a public place or at home makin' lurve.
I'm a fan of the 20 minutes-half hour sort
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)
2 minutes in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)
Conchords ftw

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)
Are you talking about Milton Keynes or a ladies vagina?

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)
I will leave that up to you to decide

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

*decides*
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)
What was that sci fi book you were reading?

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)
Gatweay by Frederik Pohl
thoroughly enjoyable
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)
Cheers, i'll give it a read
I plowed through the Dune novels a few years ago and it put me off sci fi. I think i'm ready to return.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)
Larry Niven's known space books are rather good
Mostly a ton of short stories, then a few novels woven between/after them (Ringworld, Fleet of Worlds), well worth tracking down the short story books first though (Tales of Known Space is a good start, and the easiest to find)
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:44, Reply)
gateway will be a good way to ease yourself back in
it's a relatively slim volume and is not in-your face-terminology and stuff
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:44, Reply)
Ordered
£1.67 second hand from a Play.com market seller, so it's probably in a shocking state. I dont mind as long as it has all the pages.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)
that's my view on books
I've had ones from amazon marketplace that have cost me 1p and have been indistinguishable from brand new ones in the same order.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)
Ha! I buy lots of 1p books from Amazon (plus the £2.75 p&p)
I agree, some look brand spanking new.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)
I love the 1p sellers on amazon
Its a really good place to find the slightly obscure stuff, plus once you get enough, the amazon recommendations system actually throws out some pretty good stuff (until you ruin it all by getting duct tape online because you're too lazy to go into town, speaking of which, I should have gone food shopping about an hour ago, laters all)
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)
Big or little Sainsburys?

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)
Covered market
I try to only use the supermarket for things I have to get there*, plus big sainsburys is a trek and a half (from LMH)

*because I'm just a little bit middle class
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)
I love the covered market
but I never remember to shop properly there
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)
The butcher I normally go to didnt have any meat out
due to the heat
The deli I wanted to investigate apparently closed a while ago

Gave up and went to little sainsburys and got a big carton of apple juice which i've nearly finished already
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 16:13, Reply)
I liked
them. Or at least, I liked the first two; I haven't read any of the others. Why'd you think they were so bad?
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)
Dune is good
But the series suffers from the rule that no series is ever good after the 4th book
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)
I was discussing them with someone yesterday
and about how books finished by someone other than the original author are usually rubbish.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)
First book was incredible
I actually had dreams about being on Dune. Next 2 were ok, but the last 3 were inpenetrable.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)
I can recommend some good sci-fi
especially short story wise
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:59, Reply)
go for it
could do with a few tips for new books
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:05, Reply)
Please do
i'm not a massive sci-fi fan, but a good book is always welcome regardless of genre.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)
Well for getting back into sci-fi
I second Vipros recommendation of Gateway, any of the Robot books by Asimov, short stories by Philip K Dick (he excels in short stories rather than books) David Brin for funny quirky looks at the subject, for a more literary take on the whole angle then read Kazuo Ishiguro's 'Never Let me Go,' A Canticle for Leibowitz for the same thing, and the whole 'Book of the New Sun' by Gene Wolfe
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)
Cheers
I read "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep" about 20 y/o. I enjoyed it but it's one of the few books I have read where I prefer the film.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)
I applaud your choices there young lady.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)
Marrow is excellent
And I enjoyed Terminal world, my mate less so
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)
Terminal World is good
But I wouldn't really recommend it as a reintroduction to sci-fi, you need to know a few futuristic concepts to work out what's really going on at a lot of points (like the discussions on the original purpose of Spearpoint).

Actually, the same goes for all of his work, utterly fantastic, but definitely not a gentle introduction to science fiction.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)
Most hard sci-fi
is like that though, can be quite tough going, still think the Iain M Banks books are the pinnacle of any sci-fi though, the Culture is just one of those creations of total glory

I would recommend a lot of Ken Macleod stuff too.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)
I agree with you about Iain M Banks
marvellous stuff
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)
I read "Use of weapons" about 14 years ago
the long unpronouncable names put me off a bit, "amistratoff-Skiramtopf" or whatever the robot was called...
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)
use of weapons is among my least favourite really
player of games is the fucking business
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)
Finally
we agree on something! Player of Games is so often read and re-read and re-read that the poor book is battered and threadbare, I must read that at least once a year without fail!
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)
same here
it was my first iain m banks book, and is still my favourite
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)
I started at the start
with Consider Phlebas, which in itself is an astounding book, Use of Weapons grew on me after the third read, it starts to make much more sense.

Still haven't finished Feersum Enjinn though, I can't read the damn thing it makes my head hurt
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)
I should reread use of weapons I think
feersum enjin was a pain in the arse.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)
It's a grower
Excession is a book I dig out if blue, the Affornt are brilliant! even better than Ashers Prador
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)
I love Excession
great book
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)
I find
with sci-fi its all about the feel of it, if the whole universe and stuff feels ok you can embrace and read it without any problem at all.

Sometimes however if something grates I simply cannot read it, that Peter F Hamilton trilogy where it starts off absolutey brilliant, then when he brings in the 1930's gangsters and loads of Elvis's it annoyed me so much I threw the book away!
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)
I'm reading a Peter F Hamilton book at the moment
my mate has been pestering me to do so for ages, and I have given in to shut him up. I'd read the previous ones, and the trilogy you talk about and they were pretty average sci fi I'd say. This new one is the biggest fucking book in the world though. I swear it weighs about 5 fucking kilos.

My mate thinks it is the best book he's ever read. I recently came to the conclusion that this is because he is immature.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)
Not a huge Hamilton fan
really liking Asher & Macleod at the moment, Adam Roberts stuff is clever but sometimes makes my head hurt, not instantly accessible, the Takeshi Kovacs books of course are ace for mindless daft space punk violence
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)
It's always awkward
when you're recommended a book and don't enjoy it. I got told by a friend that I simply must read Robert Jordan, and found it quite awkward to say I didn't want to borrow the rest of the books because they were a bit dire.

I think I've done that to Larry Vest with Robin Hobb though
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:28, Reply)
I recall liking Robert Jordan when I read it before
and have been intending to recap and finish the series, however, I did also like David Eddings in the past and I can't bear to read his stuff any more because it was tripe.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)
Argh the fucking wheel of time
I gave up and almost lost the will to live at book 6.

Luckily I work with two guys with similar but ever so slightly different tastes book wise so we are always lending each other new and different stuff, can be hit or miss but more hits so far.

Not really got the classics apart from a shelf full of Asimov and the 70's stuff from Moorcock at his peak
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:35, Reply)
See also:
Alastair Reynolds
Charles Stross
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)
I love Alastair Reynolds stuff
sci fi film noir
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)
You say "Is that it?"
But I know you mean "Yeah, thats it"
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Then you go sort out the recycling
That isn't part of the foreplay,
but it's still very important
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)
you know what I'm trying to say I'm trying to say it's time for business it's business time
OOOH!
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)
"it's okay because I turn it all into a sexy dance."

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)
Wiggy sings this at me
he thinks of it as foreplay.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)
Hahaha!

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)
I think he and I would get on

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)
+it

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)
simple but effective

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:05, Reply)
It does
depend on the other person and whether or not you're enjoying it. Longer than 47 seconds, anyway - my first boyfriend was so appalling in bed that I genuinely had nothing better to do than watch the clock tick.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)
As mentioned in the previous thread
Two hours straight ruined me. Depending on the person, I think fourty five minutes in just fine. However, if it's not excellent I get bored and fifteen minutes is more than enough.

On the other hand, 3 minutes of absolute shite confusion and then not being sure what's going on, if he's finished or not is terrible.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)
45 minutes of actual penetration?
surely no matter how wet, if no one has achieved satisfaction by that point then the friction will be starting to cause injuries.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)
she doesn't know what she's talking about
she's a virgin, just lies a lot on the internet.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:57, Reply)
that makes sense
or is this some kind of reverse psychology pandering you are trying on her?
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)
I can honestly say,
I have never lied massively on B3ta.

Unless I'm lying right now... Oo, paradox.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)
You're all about the massive lies.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)
I'm all about the lies am I?
In that case, Psychochomp I love you, you are awesome.

LIES.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)
You've ruined my birthday

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)
My work here is done.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)
you can fuck off then?

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)
No.
I'm going to stay and gloat.

Actually, I am going to go and do my washing.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:21, Reply)
that'll show him

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)
I am so very shown.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Agreed, the physics would support this
I think, for an average (no emergency quickies) session, it should last long enough for two to four position changes.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)
I would agree with that

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)
Yep.
Thats why I said depending on the person. I can't say I've ever had that problem to be honest.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)
injuries at 45 minutes?
what?
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)
If that happens
you get extra time added on at the end.

I MADE A SPORT JOKE.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)
and it's a good one
*high fives*
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)
This pic makes me laugh
sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs051.snc3/13837_205464729174_768814174_3966863_2639029_n.jpg

I think for the direction my eyes are in.
That was so long ago...
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)
God, that was aaaaages ago.
Haha, oh dear Lampito, Oh dear.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 14:59, Reply)
That was a great night
First night in Manchester since I went to uni... DEADLY TIMES
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:10, Reply)
You can say that again.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)
Shame I'm not coming to your bash.
Who knows what I'd do.
Tht's probably a good thing I'm not coming, then.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)
Oh man
www.flickr.com/photos/21723343@N03/4082996228/in/pool-b3tabashes/
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:21, Reply)
Hahahahahahahahahaha

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:23, Reply)
I can't see it.
Oh dear God. Now I can.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:24, Reply)
copy and paste the whole of that thing

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

www.flickr.com/photos/21723343@N03/4082996228/in/pool-b3tabashes/
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:26, Reply)
YOU'RE WELCOME

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:35, Reply)
Well done. You managed to make a link worth.
Have a cookie.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)
By christ
I look horrific!

I'm so glad I got rid of that fucking hair!
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)
There's that great one of your eye :P

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)
Oh good god
I'd quite happily forgotten about that!
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)
Looking through the pics now.
HAHAHA
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)
It was not a good night for me
Me and T0ria went to get some food afterwards, and I ended up dropping half my kebab :-(
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:23, Reply)
Me and the fellow young ones thought about going to 5th
ended up in Dry Bar...

I remember the picture I used to sum up the night was this
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)
Haha, that didn't last long though, did it?

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:30, Reply)
hahahaha
Oh god oh god oh god

I love how I have a massive memory blank between leaving that place and then...waking up. Or coming round. I'm not sure which it was.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)
If you need reminding I can post some of the gazes on the subject you sent me on here.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:51, Reply)
I gazzed you talking about that?!
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:53, Reply)
School boy error there

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 16:01, Reply)
That describes what happend.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 16:04, Reply)
I don't think in any detail
I don't THINK :/
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 16:08, Reply)
far too much detail imo

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 16:11, Reply)
Haha!
Genius!

We need another large Manc bash, that night was fantastic!
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:30, Reply)
Yes yes yes yes

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)
The question is...
If we bring BGB, will we ever be allowed back into those bars again?
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)
No red wine for her.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:35, Reply)
Are you the wine nazi?
Haha
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)
I'm fully booked till next year.
They might have forgotton about me by then.
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:35, Reply)
We need an Oxford bash
So that I can go to one on minimum budget/not have to send parents into flat spin panic by saying I'm off to meet the internet in a city I've never been to before (since I can only really justify travelling during hols)
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 16:16, Reply)
If we're going to bring up the one about my eye
Then I respond with this
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)
That's not THAT bad :(

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)
You're right, it's not, just the eyes are a bit scary
I'd look properly, but flickr runs slow as hell here, and I can't access facebook.

And I'm worried who the hell the sweaty headed person is!
(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)
Someone appears to be cupping the invisible man's balls

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)
That's Yemen.

(, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

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