DING
LUNCHTIME THREAD!
I have eggmayo AGAIN
I just wanted to ding

Edit
aLT q: Why do I always start threads at the same time as someone else with a more exciting thread that will get loads more replies and leave me crying myself to sleep?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:45, 105 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Aw man!

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Spicy Chicken noodles. Nom.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:47, Reply)

ha
love the username
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Why thank you.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:48, Reply)

al could change his to
"Set your asses to bummed" and you could be BFF
( djtrialprice, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:50, Reply)

*arses
We're not in America dear.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Oooooh
'ark at 'er.
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post744507

Any requests for something you want to hear?
( djtrialprice, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:53, Reply)

NoooooooooOOoooOOOOOooOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOoooooo
Not that bloody pile of shite.

Erm erm erm Anything that's not that really.

I'm currently bumming off this, can't stop listening to it, it's giving me goosebumps.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Wiggy can only play There She Goes
as a result, I hate that song.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Lab
I think was Lab, linked to the Saarlag and said it was your va-jay-jay. It made me feel ill :(
( djtrialprice, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Lab is a massive gay twat
With gay shoes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Yeah
I've met him too
( djtrialprice, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Fuck you, cuntface
TGB's Fanny
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:00, Reply)

since this is normally my fault
I'll stick around in your thread. Also, I love food. You do it because you're a masochist.

I'm having jacket potato with egg mayonnaise today, so I'm happy. I get to start cooking it in 9 minutes.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I'm not having lunch because I over slept again
And I've only just had breakfast. And it was cake.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:51, Reply)

fucking student.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:00, Reply)

To be fair, it is my flatmate's birthday.
I did have some branflakes as well.

And now I'm wearing one of my denim dresses and look like a hillbilly.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:03, Reply)

When are you getting to Donnington?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:06, Reply)

WEDNESDAY
Getting the megabus from Huddersfield I think, my mate is sorting it.
When are you?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:09, Reply)

First thing wednesday morning,
I'll be there before they open the gates drinking cider like a tramp.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:11, Reply)

I don't think our bus is til like 12
So we'll be getting there fairly late. I'll come and find you once we're settled
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:15, Reply)

We should swap numbers or something

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:25, Reply)

+ so I can stalk you properly

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:26, Reply)

+ txt you pics of my cock dressed in a variety of costumes

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:26, Reply)

You see, this is why I was a little hesitant to suggest this.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:29, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)

My friend invented this yesterday
~~
:)
~~

It's a Hasidic Jew Smiley
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Aw it's lovely.
Now the Jews can have their very own smiley face.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:37, Reply)

classic

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Shouldn't you use
$ . . $
$ _ $

instead?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:43, Reply)

No

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Because you can't decide which you like best;
Spartacock or Cavalier-nis?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)

*shakes fist*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Today for lunch, I bought;
Sushi, Prawn mayo triple-pack sarnies, 4 pairs of pants and 10 pairs of socks.

I didn't eat the pants or socks.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Oh I was going to reply to your gaz and I forgot
I would do it now but I'm going for a smoke :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Whatevs
:p
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Dates, brazil nuts, almonds, banana chips, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, and pineapple.
And water. I've lost more than an inch off my waist in a fortnight.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Aw man! : (

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Ah fuck, I meant to send you that book.
I'll set a reminder.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I doubt it will work.
This jibbly wibbly flesh aint going nowhere.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I literally fed that to my gerbil last night.
Srsly.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I bet your gerbil ain't fat either.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Not fat enough for Al

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:03, Reply)

he's a bit fat
but I think it's coz he's a boy rather than because he's a chubber, male gerbils are just bigger.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Yeah, until he sees a younger, fitter male gerbil getting off with a young, fit female gerbil.
He'll be all like 'I've gotta get PUMPED!' and running on his wheel as the sun comes up and going upstairs in his little exercise ball.
/montages
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:12, Reply)

/projection

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:15, Reply)

it'll be like that really pumped hamster in Family Guy
"can I pet him?"
"I wouldn't."
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:20, Reply)

I just had two special K bars
and a cocktail sausage. When I buy some satsumas later, I shall also have one of those
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:57, Reply)

One Granny Smith and a cup of water
Again.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Pack of Sesame Snaps
Half a bag of Tescos prawn crackers
Three Aniseed Imperials.

Lunch of kings.
( Peej, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Sesame snaps are the fucking tits.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:03, Reply)

my sister had a parrot that loved sunflower seeds
so much so that he binged on them and didn't eat anything else and had a little birdy heart attack. The vet said it was like 'eating a pat of butter a day'. Poor little parrot seed junkie.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:10, Reply)

This made me officesmirk
Am I a bad person?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:11, Reply)

I giggled a bit too
after she'd stopped crying.

He was dead cute, can't remember what species he was but he was about the size of a sparrow. My sister called him Jasper...
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Then we're both a bit mean, I can live with that
Jasper's a nice name for a bird, better than Polly.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:16, Reply)

She thought it was hilarious
(the name pun, not the death, obviously)
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:18, Reply)

it's not bad
goes nicely with my plans to have a goose and a duck called Duck Norris and Goose Lee
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:20, Reply)

I had a pet goose when I was a teenager
my Dad suggested I call him Honky, which I did. It was only much later that I realised Dad's suggestion came from the fact that the goose was white.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Your Dad sounds fun
My Nan had geese, they were horrid little fuckers and shit everywhere. Still, one did go for my sister, so they're not all bad.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:24, Reply)

they were a bit evil
especially during nesting season and when they had babies. I was tasked one year with spiking all the eggs so we wouldn't get any more babies and there was an evil male goose who guarded the nest that they'd cunningly made in the brambles when the female wasn't there, so I had to try and get him away so I could spike the eggs. I got in a full on fight with him and eventually had to wrap a teatowel around his head and punch him to get him to chill the fuck out. I feel a bit bad about punching a goose, but he deserved it. Kitty 1 - Goose 0. Also, whippet 0 because she ran away as soon as the goose hissed at her.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:29, Reply)

You punched a goose in the head, I fucking LOVE this.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:30, Reply)

me too

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Haha, me three.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Four!

(berk, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Male geese = ganders
And that story rocks!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)

I thank you
I did have quite a cool upbringing. I revised for my GCSEs surrounded by 5 goslings who used to follow me everywhere. Luckily it was hot and I used to go and sit by the pond and they would swim whilst I learned about dull maths that I would never use again.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:43, Reply)

you are even cooler than I thought

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I know, right?
I also had a pet duck because when she was born her feet faced inwards so she fell over all the time and the other ducks bullied her. So I took her in and taught her to swim and to walk further without falling over. I called her Spacker the Quacker. I loved that duck. She got eaten by rats though.

Oh and my mum had Honky shot. Yes, seriously.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:30, Reply)

That was beautiful up until the last two sentences.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)

indeed

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)

how do you think I felt?!
That was my baby, she used to sit on my shoulder and snuggle into my hair to go to sleep. My mum needed to get rid of the geese because there were 40+ of them, so one of the local farmers agreed to 'remove' them. When I asked if she had saved Honky she said no.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Isn't she just?
We should start a 'We All Nominate Kitty For A Certificate of Excellence' group.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I second the nomination

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Oh I like this very much.
Someone make me a badge, I've never had a badge!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I might do if struck by inspiration
But fear the Pandatron...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Gwan!

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I'll pander to you instead to distract the pandatron
If you made me a badge that would be awesome because you are very talented at photoshoppery and the like.

*engages...*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:55, Reply)

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:03, Reply)

you beauty

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:04, Reply)

should I question the bukkake elements of it?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Just accept it
It can't be that subtle, surely?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:06, Reply)

I thought the delicate shrinking of the word Of in the original conveyed your point in a wonderfully understated way

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I knew you'd get it
Thought many others would too!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:09, Reply)

I actually totally didn't get it
*BELM*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I suspect the subtleties may have been missed by most

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:56, Reply)

TOO LATE

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:57, Reply)

That is a fucking masterpiece.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:59, Reply)

This is AWESOME!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:03, Reply)

genuine officelol
over here
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHA
This is one of the funniest things I've seen on this site.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I have a cup of Earl Grey and a banana
Alt Q. I don't know, is it because you are a masochist?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I had cheese and pickle sandwiches
And a conversation about the tendency of Germans to enjoy public nudity, whether on beaches or rambling over the Swiss Alps. The German in our group claimed she didn't know any Germans who were partial to such nudity, which makes me think she is a rampant naturist herself.

Alt Q: Don't go to sleep at lunchtime.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:17, Reply)

All Germans
are rampant naturists. Trufax.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)

True.
My mum has always wandered about the house in the nuddy.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I once came upon (stop sniggering at the back)
a naturist couple while on a walk up a hill in Austria. They were standing around in a stream, and must have been pretty hardy as the air wasn't exactly warm, far less the water.

I have also been known to wander around the house naked. In fact I was doing it last night after I had a shower and before I dressed to go out. It allowed me to dry off properly.

I don't do it when I have visitors though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:38, Reply)

being able to walk around naked is one of the benefits of having your own place

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Indeed.
Unless you're very brave or an exhibitionist.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Well I can't argue with evidence this compelling.
I shall watch the window of her office for any signs of nudity. (There are two Germans in that office, one of them's got to get her kit off at some point today...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:38, Reply)

They probably alternate to ensure the average nudity of the area doesn't spike up or down.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Unlike the up and down of the spike in my area
Or...something like that...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I had a nice tuna and sweetcorn salad
But I hate these threads when I'm on a diet. Now I'm hungry and thinking of all the tasty foods I could be having.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I'm making a Pot Noodle
to go with some toast, some hula hoops and some kind of chocolate
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I bloody love pot noodles.
I haven't had one in yonks.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)

at least yours won't be bloody expensive
I have to buy them form a british food import shop, so they cost more than twice the price. some good shit in there though, keeps me in Irn Bru
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Lamb burgers
The observant among you may notice this is the same as yesterday, I'm too lazy to cook properly at lunchtime so just made up a kilo of burger mix and nomming through it over the week.
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)