It transpires, from an exchange about skiing, that my girlfriend and I are actually Penny and Leonard from The Big Bang Theory
Except I'm taller, less successful, not lactose intolerant and don't believe in science, and she's also taller, more successful and gluten intolerant. And more attractive.

What TV or film couple reminds you of yourself and another? Doesn't have to be a romantic couple. Are you muscular and blonde, and is your cat large enough to saddle and ride, for example?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 10:58, 223 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hahaha!
Where do you study to get that master?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Sorry, I'm lost
So I will simply say... SCUNTHORPE
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Now you lost me...
You were talking about He-Man? The Master of the Universe? Or is that only the name in Spanish?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:18, Reply)

it is that in english too
but that was a pretty subtle comment :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Ah
It's a kid's joke in Spain, I'm not that clever (I should learn to shut up sometimes)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Oh, yeah
That was really clever - which is why I didn't get it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

putting the cunt in....

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:14, Reply)

it doesn't really sound like you are like Penny and Leonard
also, the hotness remark is debatable. Penny is totally hot sometimes, and merely regularly hot the rest of the time.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Ms Foxtrot exists in a permanent state of being obscenely gorgeous
It's awesome
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)

is she coming to sonisphere?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:16, Reply)

STOP IT
No.

I'm only coming, 11th hour stylee, cos a mate of mine got VIP tickets and asked me to come with him.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

shame
very nice indeed. It's going to be awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Yes. Yes it is.
Will be good to actually meet you, and Amberl. I don't expect to be able to hear for three days after Pendulum and Maiden on the Sunday night
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

it will be good to meet you and Amberl as well
my mrs seems keen (for some reason)

won't be too bad hearing-wise. I've seen Deep Purple in an enclosed space. That was loud.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Yeah, I saw Slayer at Brixton Academy once
That left an impression
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I bet
I'd like to see Sepultura.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Saw 'em, same night as Slayer
Double headline tour, '98. They had a little known band called System of a Down supporting. Everyone says that must have been the gig of a lifetime. I say not - because Sepultura had just got rid of Max and were still finding their way, and SOAD are shit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

that's a shame
SOAD were great when I saw them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

no they're not
you're shit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Agreed, I like SOAD

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I simply do not get SOAD
I hold a grudge against them cos I heard "Suite-Pee", "War" and "Know" on samplers before their first album came out and was consequently very excited as those are all top songs. They turned out to be the only good songs on the whole album and I've never forgiven their deception.

Or the fact that I haven't liked anything they've done since
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:51, Reply)

there are plenty of good songs on that album
and some good ones on the other stuff as well
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

That's a stunningly vague response
Specific examples, please. And if you say "Sugar" I'll he-bitch man-slap you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Suggestion is a great song
as is Peephole

I don't know names of songs on the other albums, but the one that goes "I buy my crack, my smack, my bitch right here in Hollywood" is a good one
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

shutyerface

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:55, Reply)

There must be a band I love that you think suck
I'm striving for equality here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Wham?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Overrated
and not as into each other as they'd have you believe. Next
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Abba
EDIT: What am I saying, I love Abba.

How about Pendulum.

Actually I quite like them too, I just wanted to hurt you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I probably would have just told you that you were wrong
if you hadn't revealed yourself to be right. Also, ABBA? Really? I didn't mind them until I was forced to sit through Mamma Mia *shudders*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:30, Reply)

I think I'm like Teela Brown
From Ringworld. Ok, it's not a film (as far as I know) but it should be.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)

How lucky are you?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Very, all the time
I think that's what's made me so soft and naive, although I'm learning slowly. I imagine you can say that Manchester is my Ringworld.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:19, Reply)

So there's a threat of it destabilising and wobbling off into space?
Or just that it used to be civilised, but is now mostly populated by savages.
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:09, Reply)

The second one :)
Mancunians can be scary sometimes.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:13, Reply)

The Big Band Theory Full Metal Jacket
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:03, Reply)

"I...am...in...a....world of shit"
I watched that yesterday for the second time this week.

it is right up there among my favourite films

"you'd better square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks!"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:03, Reply)

"You had better get your head and your ass wired or I WILL take a giant shit on you!"
Did you recognise Jokers boss in nam? The guy who says "It's a giant shit sandwhich and we all have to take a bite"?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:19, Reply)

the newspaper guy?
I do not. edit: Holy shit, christian shepherd

I realised the other day that Animal Mother (the dude with the M60) is Jayne from Firefly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I just want an excuse to start calling him Private Pile.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:19, Reply)

You don't believe in science?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:03, Reply)

It's just magic made boring, isn't it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:04, Reply)

So you do believe science exists
And works?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Alright, I'll rephrase
I have no interest in science and am therefore completely opposite to Leonard off the Big Bang Theory

I maintain, though, that whisking ingredients, putting them in the oven for twenty minutes and retrieving a cake is MAGIC
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I don't understand why anyone doesn't have an interest in science.
What a waste.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

It's like those adverts about people that don't care about politics
It underpins your entire life, the entire progress of the human race has been based on science ion one guise or another.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I fucking love science
it's just so interesting. I've been watching Wonders of the Solar System, and while it is slightly watered down science for the masses, it is still thoroughly interesting and engaging.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I love science too
Although was shit at it in school. I like to know how things work, and about new advancements in technology.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I was good at science in school
well, not biology. I seemed to have a natural aptitude for physics.

I love the mind-blowing stuff, like enormous ice-geysers on some of the more distant moons, or the repetition of patterns in various things shaped by natural processes.

technology is cool too, particularly now when a lot of very science fictiony stuff is being created.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Astrophysics is all cool
Evolution of galaxies for one:

Old theory: eliptical galaxies eventually develop structure and form spiral galaxies, pretty patterns, rather nice idea that nature tends to something hige and amazing.

New theory: Elipical galaxies are formed when other galaxies smash into each other.
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:14, Reply)

It's not entirely science's fault
I have a natural tendency to be disinterested in anything I'm not good at. I was shit at science in school and deeply resent being made to take Physics and Chemistry GCSE. However, it would help if science wasn't so fucking boring
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I forget who Richard Dawkins was quoting at the time, but I think he picked the right turn of phrase:
"Science is interesting, and if you don't agree, you can fuck off."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:18, Reply)

How dissapointing
I thought you were better than that. What is a non-science guy like you doing in a science web like this?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Hang about
We were getting on great a minute ago!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I thought you were another sexy geeky guy
I'll forgive you if you say you like video games.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Course I love video games
I can assure you it's possible to be geeky without knowing any science beyond the "fiction" part

The sexy bit is really for you to decide!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Oh, well
I imagine I can give you a pass, then.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Please tell me "pass" means something much filthier in Spanish

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I thought you were happily taken

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

I am, very much so. As are you, I believe. I am simply being disgusting. It's what I do.
sorry
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

And you do it well, I'm under your spell...
F*ck! Now I have it on my mind again! Your fault!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:20, Reply)

It's MY fault you have a filthy mind and slightly dubious taste in men?
;-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:38, Reply)

"What a waste"

I knew you'd see the light eventually. "Wake Up And Make Love To Me" on the B-side was good too.
(Cave Duck, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

No it isn't, shut up.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:06, Reply)

That struck me as odd too

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Science is not there to be believed in.
It is just there.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:06, Reply)

How does science explain this guy turning water into wine?
It can't so obviously science is a fallacy.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

That and the wires thing

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Got me there, perhaps it didn't happen.
I'll ask Dicky Dawkins.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Dicky Dawkins is a chump
and if he bad mouths me again I'll spark him right out.. And his mate Stevie Hawkin
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Don't forget the waterskiing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Science also doesn't explain
why some people worship a carpenter who lived 2000 years ago
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Ooh! Ooh! *raises hand*
I know this one!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Please explain

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Long, tolerant to other peoples' beliefs answer?
Or short, B3ta-friendly answer?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Both

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I can't be bothered with the first one. Too long
And I'm not going into the second one, because it would have been exaggerated beyond my own opinion for comedy effect and would have been offensive to my best B3ta-friend

Sorry
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

WIMP
Weak Interactive Massive Particle.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I'm all for offending huge groups with sweeping statements about which I have little or no understanding
just not keen on upsetting my friends

Yes, I know I need to try harder to fit in around here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Oh, FFS. If you won't offend them then I will
One of the major drawbacks to being an intelligent species is that, the more you learn, and the more you communicate with one another, the more questions you start to ask. I think it's fair to say that, despite the signs of intelligence shown by dolphins, chimpanzees, badgers and - most importantly - crows, we're the only species that has got as far as questioning its own existence - and indeed its own purpose.

So, whilst the natural philosophers of old trying their best to provide an explanation for why shit goes down the way it does, they have a tendency to go for wild postulations rather than experiment and observation. Sometimes they get it right, sometimes they get the right idea, and sometimes they just made shit up. And when life's most challenging questions are staring you in the face, eventually some people will start to speculate that there are gods controlling these things.

Arguments rage over whose gods are the right ones, and indeed whether it should be 'gods' or 'a god,' but in the absence of a better explanation, most people concede to the 'god' idea eventually.

Trouble is, people get attached to the cosy 'god' explanation, and the myths get wilder and wilder as they're passed down through generations. Life after death becomes a common theme, as does the idea of 'god' or 'the gods' wielding peculiar supernatural powers, and eventually 'choosing' people to perform tasks for them.

All this time, science is advancing. People slowly get used to the idea that you can discover an awful lot by simply looking at something in more detail, as opposed to just having a quick look and then dreaming up an explanation.

Unfortunately, even though it provides nice, sensible, rational explanations, people have trouble letting go of the other idea they've been bought up with - 'god.' It's lovely that we can now explain the motion of a solid object, the swing of a pendulum or the elasticity of a spring, but what's going to happen to me after I die? Nothing new? Oh well, I'll stick with my 'god/heaven' explanation then.

I think part of the problem, for most people, is the indoctrination that comes from such an early age. As soon as you're old enough to understand that people are born and will one day die, there's a priest there to tell you that you were a blessing from 'god' and if you're a good boy/girl then your 'soul' will fly up to 'heaven' when you die. Religion gets a headstart over science because this is much easier to explain to the juvenile mind than such process as sexual reproduction, genetics, illness and necrosis. So every generation starts its life with an older and wiser authority figure telling them the same set of myths that was passed down to them from an early age.

And of course, it provides an explanation which is initially easier to understand and much fluffier than the cold logic of science. You can see why people cling to it so fervently; some people are never shown how flatly it contradicts science and logic, and some people see it and try to find ways to reconcile the two, just because they fear that the cold, clinical cycle of being born, surviving, possibly reproducing and then dying only to rot, too much to bear.

If you need me, I'll be putting on my fire-proof jacket in anticipation of a fairly substantial flaming.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

That's managed to be both long and offensive. Impressive work mate.
I was simply unprepared to start laying into Christians, against which I have nothing in particular, before actually having the religion discussion with my religious best B3ta-friend /end simpering excuse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I didn't think I was consciously being that offensive.
Just a bit pragmatic. Possibly a little patronising. And I didn't feel any need to pick on the christians specifically, even though it was christian priests prattling on at my juvenile self in my case.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:24, Reply)

That's a very good explanation
Just 2 things:

The idea of god, originally, where does it come from? How is it that all this very uneducated people came with a concept as big as that?

Second, when I was a kid and knew nothing about genetics, I was told the story about the stork. Once I understood all the other things, I gave up that story as stupid. Maybe you still believe on it?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:06, Reply)

This + theory of mind (awareness of other conscious entities as being conscious)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B._F._Skinner#Superstition_in_the_pigeon
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:18, Reply)

The first question
is a good one. I can't actually tell you because I wasn't there when somebody came up with the idea. However, in a large, unexplored world, you can imagine how easy it would be to look at complicated and confusing as natural phenomena and suppose that perhaps the thunderstorm was caused by a monster that lives beyond the horizon, and you can see how ideas like that might develop into the idea of a big, bearded feller at the top of the sky who put everything together in the first place.

The second question - don't be daft, I was delivered by a crow! Joking aside, you give up the stork story because it can very easily be proven to be patently false. That, and your parents admit they were lying. Unfortunately, religion seems to endure because it has long had this habit of shrouding itself in mystical gibberish and hiding behind the (flimsy) excuse that 'science doesn't know everything.'

Science will accept the existence of 'god' when he/she/it can be detected, and not before. Religion claims that 'god' is beyond the limits of our perception or similar. Trouble is, this leaves them in a stalemate, where religion's only defence is its claim that science can't disprove the existence of 'god.' Anyone with a better understanding of logic, please feel free to pick that apart; personally I've resigned to the stance that even though science has no counterexample to logically disprove the existence of 'god' to the satisfaction of religion, common sense suggests that the enormous, gaping lack of evidence for 'god' is pretty damn convincing.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I agree with you
And I think I'd be agnostic if it wasn't for a few very deep experiences. But I realize that believing is not something that can be forced into someone.

I had a priest explaining me that faith is a blessing, and not everybody gets the same blessings. So, some people don't believe because God didn't want them to believe. It gets more and more complicated.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Some people do have these odd experiences.
And, being typically cynical and a bit pragmatic about it, I'd say there's almost certainly a natural explanation for them. So you're right: believing is not something that can be forced into someone.

As for the faith/blessing explanation from that priest...I'm sorry if it meant a lot to you, but to me, that has all the hallmarks of the typical horse-shit I was just talking about.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:27, Reply)

lack of evidence can be convincing, but it's rarely, if ever, proof.
The existence of some higher power beyond our perceptions is, by definition of it's properties ("beyond our perception"), impossible to prove. Therefore you have to have faith in it's existence, and faith that it is benevolent and caring.
I can not make that leap.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:26, Reply)

The last bit about proving the existence of god is interesting.
when god lived in a high mountain, it was easy to say so. Then when the people said "I've been up there and he isn't." the goal posts had to move. God then was in the sky. Well, someone looked through a telescope and couldn't see him. So god became invisble and now, outside of the universe.

The closer technology or man comes to god, the more ellusive god is.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:28, Reply)

I followed Descartes through deconstructing all that we can say is True
Leading to the famous 'cogito ergo sum'. I don't agree with how he took this as a baseline to then go on to talk about the existence of a benevolent 'God', I stuck to the idea that everything apart from my own existence can be doubted.

However, that's not a way to live (solipsism or paranoia I guess), but I use it as an explanation for why I'm agnostic, and say that instead of following a religion, I follow my own morals, which essentially boil down to the 'do unto others' principal.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:12, Reply)

I had the same problem with Descartes
His way of thinking made sense but at the same time, it sounds a bit like a desperate way to try to find something real to stuck to it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:15, Reply)

No flames here

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Have you tried to get a decent carpenter?
I'd worship a good one if he rebuilt my bathroom the way I want it.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

And then if he fed my entire family
with half a sardine and a mouldy loaf of bread, then jesus christ we'd have a winner..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:32, Reply)

you
don't
believe
in
science?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I believe in magic
like Apple. They told me the iPad is magic. And quite frankly I believe them.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I think that just makes you an advertising whore.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I haven't actually bought one
but something that does so much cannot be natural.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I have some beans that may interest you.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:15, Reply)

genuine officelol

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Hehe

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

This is me and my cat
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KttQ67ESf8M&feature=related
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I hope no cats were harmed in the making of that video.

( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:15, Reply)

He loves her really

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Richard and Hyacinth Bucket.
Fo Sho. Even family call MrsP Hyacinth at times.
Although I'm more like Onslow than Richard.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Your wife is a lucky woman

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:15, Reply)

This is me and my fella
college.cengage.com/english/kalaidjian/understanding_lit/1e/shared/images/arthur_marilyn.jpg
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Rather bigheaded of yourself, no?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

No way.
That's exactly how it is.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

In that case
Me and the Lady
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:34, Reply)

man, she is so hot
shame she has a kind of annoying voice
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Eh, I don't mind her voice
And I love how they have someone so insanely hot to voice Meg in Family Guy.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

yeah
I used to enjoy watching that 70s show. Donna from that was quite tasty too. for a ginge.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Best ginge = Felicia Day
And she's a massive gamer geek! Perfect!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

error
best ginge = bridget regan

even better when she was dyed her hair non-ginge
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:44, Reply)

She's a looker, I'll give you that
But I'll stick with Ms Day.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

suits me
I do have a mild obsession with Ms Regan it must be said. to the point where I'm going to watch every episode of the rather shit tv show she is in
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

No she wasn't
she was a huge ginger troll.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

shut it you
she's hot
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

yeah like the Riddlers were hot.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

you're just jealous

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

yeah I wish I looked like this:
www.thechestnut.com/riddlers/tiddler.jpg
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:16, Reply)

it'd be an improvement :-P

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:25, Reply)

*falls over*
Hi Roota, nice to meet you

*proffers desperate, sweaty hand*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Except I'm not blonde
Or the most beautiful creature that ever drew breath.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Yeah, but you're better looking than Arthur Miller.
Which is a start.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

damning with faint praise there.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I'm slimmer than Bella Emberg too

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

You're not as stupid as a rock either.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I'm going to get a big head soon

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Hurr hurr
*nudge nudge wink wink*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Too right.
More men should put that on their dating profiles, 'I'm no Arthur Miller...'
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Or even Windy Miller.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I'm quite relieved to hear that you're not
Unicorns are gorgeous but I wouldn't want to fuck one
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Really?
I could well picture you doing the fandango with a unicorn
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I don't know a fandango
I could probably lead one into quite a dramatic Tango though

Yes I knew what you meant
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Yes, and well done

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I'm afraid I must disagree with you there
she's not the most beautiful creature who ever drew breath.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Look, I know she was a bottle blonde who could look ropey at times
but you have to admit she had something amazing and undefinable.
And I refer more to candid shots that show her prettiness and gentleness rather than those vile tacky glanourous pictures.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I'm not denying she was gorgeous
and I know what you mean about the candid shots. I'm sure I had someone more beautiful in mind, but I'll be damned if I can remember who....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:35, Reply)

the bird who played Electra in World Is Not Enough
man I'd turn gay for that in a second.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Really?
Sophie Marceau?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

that is not a good photo of her
despite being thick as two short planks, I'd probably have to say that Kelly Brook is possibly the most gorgeous creature I've seen.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

this is a much better photo
(slightly NSFW due to nipple)
www.la-star.com/p/pics/sophie-marceau/sophie-marceau-20070525-261103.jpg
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Much better pic

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

indeed

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

She was a slag, you could tell,
that's why she was popular.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:35, Reply)

No better than Jordan really

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Fuck right off right
because Marilyn was lovely and Jordan's nasty
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Marilyn could be a diva bitch when she wanted.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Not like Jordan and well you know it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:40, Reply)

The best Jordan's managed is a few crap pop stars
Marilyn aimed for the top
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I knew that'd get a rise

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:39, Reply)

There's nothing anyone could say to make me hate her
Even the fact that she went with other people's oosbands. Which is on top for sure.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Well she was more charming.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

She was a bit of a goer
but she knew no better
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:37, Reply)

I think we'd all like the chance to say we'd fucked the President of the United States

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

You would
Cos you've got pictures of Barack in his grundies all over your khazi
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

They're getting harder and harder to come by (hehe)
For some reason getting close to him to take pictures is a lot more difficult than it used to be. He's changed, man *looks wistful*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

You'll always have that weekend break in Kenya

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

I still can't sit down comfortably when I go on Safari

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I'm sure that's what the chairman of BP is thinking right now.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

^POTD

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I'd fuck Martin Sheen.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

a tin
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Shines umpteen things clean

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

that would sting a bit, surely.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Sometimes the tingly lube isn't enough
And I always run out of hotsauce.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

*sings*
looking for some hotsauce baby this evening, I need some hotsauce baby tonight
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Look, I know your beard's quite impressive, but you're getting a little vain, aren't you?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:33, Reply)

my beard is more than quite impressive these days

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Specifics please
Beards by definition can only ever be quite impressive unless you add some crazy shit, like one of those amazing curly moustaches or some pyrotechnics
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:40, Reply)

it's about 5 inches long and pointed
I'm trying to find some beads to go in it or something.

burning fuses perhaps
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Fnar

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I would say you'll be easy to spot at Sonisphere
But it's a metal festival...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

yeah, I kind of blend right in
I'll probably be wearing a straw cowboy hat if it's sunny.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Oh I hope so
It'll give me a defence against the immediate accusations of bumdering
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

it won't
it's a manly, straight hat
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Those two hat descriptions are inherently self-contradictory
Good point though, I can't expect to maintain my awesome hairstyle in a field. I need to think about which hats I own that are both quite cool and easily replaceable. Slayer are playing. No hat that goes into a Slayer Pit comes out alive
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:07, Reply)

not at all
definitely manly and straight
sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs160.snc1/5980_136149281888_754656888_2465071_609059_n.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Epic pictoral proof of manliness of headgear fail

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:22, Reply)

you are in no position to comment on the manliness of photos

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Improved
Much Better
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:34, Reply)

haha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I'm on the internet
The perfect position to judge people on anything ever, with or without justification
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:41, Reply)

good point

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Me and Wiggy are Lynette and Tom Scavo from Desperate Housewives
although I do have traces of Susan in me, with the mishaps and clumsiness.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:39, Reply)

So either you're incredibly fertile or he has phenomenally potent spaff

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:40, Reply)

He can get people pregnant through ozmosis
Oh, sorry, forgot you don't like science ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I know what Ozzmosis is
Ozzy Osbourne album, 1997. First single was "Perry Mason"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

You used the wrong word,
it's osmosis is only with water, you mean diffusion.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Cunting fuckbollocks
Thank you for correcting me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Awesome swearing :-)
I like awesome swearing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

ok so not on the kids front, more on the personality front
like how Tom is always trying to regain his youth by doing childish things and Lynette allows him to think he's winning at stuff when he's not.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

That's awfully decent of you
He might have phenomenally potent spaff. You should bottle it or something in case there's a plague
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I have a feeling my oven doesn't work
Just a hunch. If that's the case I'm going to adopt a black baby just to upset Wiggy's grandmother.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Everyone needs a backup plan
Me and my best friend - WHO'S A GIRL) - agreed when we were 20 that if we were both unmarried when we were 30 we'd hook up and have a bunch of kids. Then we turned 30 and I reminded her of this and that we were contractually bound to ditch our long-term partners and find a small chapel in Vegas. We extended it to 40.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I only have about a decade left to pop some out.
This scares me. Stupid biological clock needs a snooze button.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:02, Reply)

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
My Mum had my sister when she was 35 with no problems at all
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:07, Reply)

My mum was 36 when she had me so that's what I'm basing it on
I'm 25
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:19, Reply)

A decade's plenty of time, surely?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:22, Reply)

not with all the stuff I want to fit in!
I still need to get my career on track once I've done my degree, plus I want to emigrate, I want to learn how to sail and dive and then buy a boat to do both those things on, all that in 10 years, plus have a decent enough amount of money saved up to be able to actually feed the kid, I just think I'll run out of time.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:50, Reply)

How long have you got left of your degree?
Do you want your career to be on a self-employed run-from-home basis? You can learnt to sail and dive once you're a Mum. I see what you mean but what you want most will take precedence eventually. You'll either deprioritise something for the sake of having a child or realise that all these other things are more important to you

I guess. I mean, what the fuck do I know?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:54, Reply)

That's the thing,
I don't want to wait until after I've had kids to do all these things, I want to do them whilst I'm free and youthful.

My degree has 2 years or so left on it, it's a distance learning one so it's however long I take with it.

I still can't decide if I actually want a child or if it's just ingrained in me that that's what you do.

EDIT: Forgot the career question, it's interior design so I would be working for an office initially. Hopefully. Then maybe freelance, but not for a long time.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Sorry, haven't been ignoring you, went to lunch
I say this is all guesswork on my part as I am devoid of ovaries, but I figure you'll work these things out as you go. I've had the decision made real easy for me by Ms Foxtrot sensibly deciding that my line should not be furthered.

Am guessing you're also studying with the OU. Am also guessing that by now you've since abandoned this thread
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Susan's a man?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

what?
Do you think I'm a man?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:52, Reply)

"although I do have traces of Susan in me"

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:55, Reply)

why does everything have to be about sex?!
Pshaw.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Be..cause...we're men?
Internet Men no less.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I can't believe you expect me to know who these people are.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Did I say
"Me and Wiggy are Lynette and Tom Scavo from Desperate Housewives
although I do have traces of Susan in me, with the mishaps and clumsiness....DON'T YOU AGREE PSYCHOCHOMP?"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

That's what you meant.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Do you just read that at the end of all my posts?
I might make that my sig just for you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:52, Reply)

YAY more attention.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Fat, slovenly housemate? Check.
Vile kitchen? Check.
Chronically unsuccessful love life? Check.
Enormous stash of pornography? Check.


(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

kind of looks like Eddie Hitler? check

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I forgot the alcoholism too.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:51, Reply)

That's baldmonkey.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I fucking love this

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Happy candle day.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Gracias!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I have a small screen
So I read it without seeing your signature, and I thought it was BGB talking.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 15 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)