I need some ideas
It's my friend's birthday next week. He's turning 25 so I feel I should buy him a nice present. Booze is an obvious option, particularly for most of my other friends, but I'm trying to think of something a bit more imaginative.

Said friend is a Russian male non-bumder who plays the guitar obscenely well. Any ideas?

Edit: 'pologies PJM, didn't mean to park right on top of your thread.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:04, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's alright Mr Crow
It's as quiet as a mouse's fart round here.

I think all the interesting b3tans (aside from your good self) have all fucked off to the pub.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

They're sensible people
I could, of course, follow suit, but I don't know whether anyone would join me. Plus my group is at least meeting to eat cake in about an hour.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Pub? Some chance
I'm working hard here.

Except for when I'm posting on b3ta of course...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)

-hisses-
I just went and made myself some warm milk and put the washing on.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)

I've got to drive to the Eden Project and back tonight
no boozing for me ;-/
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Fucking lightweight.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)

it's ok
I picked up an extra quarter last night to supplement the other gear I've got. Now I have a pleasing quantity made up of 3 different varieties :-D
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Sorry old boy.
I thought you were slipping.
So why the Eden Project?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

to see The Doves and Mumford and Sons
not strictly my cup of tea, but I've forced the mrs along to enough rock and metal gigs that I feel I should give something back.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

I like The Doves

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

I quite like what I've heard
but it's not the sort of thing I listen to. There's a lot of stuff I like but choose not to listen to. I'm expecting reasonably good things live.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:50, Reply)

I'm endlessly surprised by what I listen to
as I get older I have less and less hang ups about my odd musical tastes.

And yes, the last few albums I bought were either wailing women with guitars or old stuff - and not good old stuff either - unless Haircut 100 is your idea of good...
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I tend to get bored by a lot of stuff, even if I like it
so spend most of my time listening to Tool and Pink Floyd.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:57, Reply)

playing with my listening to and Pink Floyd
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 16:44, Reply)

I am not going to the pub for another hour and three quarters.
Then I shall get cataclysmically drunk and fall asleep in a hedge.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:19, Reply)

You are approved of by me.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)

I'm aiming for either unconscious or so drunk I don't notice turning 30 at midnight.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Do have a lovely one!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Lold
Have a good one though!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I didn't realise it was your birthday, old chap.
Happy birthday and all that. Have a good one.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I shall.
I will be spending the next month or so as drunk as I can, as often as I can. Turning 30 won't change me.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

wahey
happy early birthday
have a tequila shot
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I haven't.
It took me 5 hours to get to work today. Instead of my usual 1.

Fucknuggets.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

5 hours? Jesus, how'd you manage that?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

By sitting at Knebworth
for nearly 3 of them.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 17:08, Reply)

That sounds
positively soul-destroying.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 17:10, Reply)

I'm surprisingly chipper.
Although I went straight to the pool when I got home, did a mile, and am now sitting on the sofa with a DVD, a bottle of rum, and lots of ice.

Huzzah!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 22:03, Reply)

I got my friend Sobranie Black Russians wrapped in the Socialist Worker
but I don't think that'll work with a non-smoker.

I have a badge of the Kremlin if you want it. It's very nice.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Present him with a five-year plan for retirement by 30.
Also confiscate all the property of his richest housemate and make him live in the shed.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)

That is a glorious plan.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Seconded
This is definitely the strongest candidate so far.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Massive Drugs and a copy of Elton John singing 'Nikita'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Some good quality sleep
Would be an excellent present.

I always buy presents that are things I'd like myself.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)

I really wish I could buy good quality sleep sometimes
Although if I take your second piece of advice, he's totally getting a llama for his birthday...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)

She has a natural 22" waist, is lovely, and intelligent, and great fun. And OWNS 5 ALPACAS
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

*spluffs*

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

That's not the most flattering picture of her either...

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Of the blonde girl or the black alpaca?
_{Either would work for me}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Both ;)
sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs001.snc1/4396_185651860374_517895374_7013807_6693896_n.jpg
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Christ on a llama
I almost ripped my cock off.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Easy now, easy now :P

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

when i go surfing we drive past a farm with a load of alpacas
every time we go past my brother informs me that a pregnant alpaca is worth somewhere in the region of £13k. I don't know how he knows this. Nor do I want to.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

13k?
Duly noted.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Please don't try to impregnate a llama. Please.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Oh, but just imagine the hellish hybrid of camelid and corvid!
Half llama, half carrion crow.

That would simultaneously be amazing and fucking terrifying.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Where's Labs and his paintmash skills?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Llama rustling
It's clearly the way forward - £13k must be way more than a pregnant sheep.
(berk, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Llamas and alpacas
are both excellent guard animals.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:51, Reply)

And god knows I need protection out on the mean streets of
...erm...Wimbledon.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:51, Reply)

They spit too
Just like camels.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I read that
as good quality sheep.

Even though I could do with some sleep.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

glad i wasn't the only one then

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Good quality sheep....
I'm not sure what constitutes 'good quality' with a sheep.

They all want to either escape or die.
If they can achieve both at the same time they're really happy.

Mind you, I suppose if they push back that would constitute good quality.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:50, Reply)

damn
I answered before I read, I guess we all read it like that
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 16:19, Reply)

I misread that as
good quality sheep.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Porn, nothing says I love you like porn

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Especially on Mothers' Day

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:59, Reply)

"Oh darling, Interracial Horse Banging 18! My f-a-vourite!"

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)

What race of horses is your favourite?
Shetland, Shire Horse, Mustang or Unicorn you bender.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)

I hate *all* horses.
Evil turds, the lot of them.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 16:29, Reply)

probably some sheet music
or some guitar strings
or a super cool guitar strap
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:59, Reply)

+-on

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Pffft

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 16:12, Reply)

I think you should lay siege to Stalingrad
then punch the cunt in the fucking face, personally.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 17:47, Reply)

I thought the rage within had subsided somewhat...
Evidently not!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 18:56, Reply)

In Soviet Russia
present buys YOU!!
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 22:32, Reply)