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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning
I had a really shit nights sleep. I blame a load of you because I had a dream about a big /OT party in a farmhouse somewhere. It left me disturbed and unable to sleep. More than usual anyway.

you cunts

edit for Kitty: Question: Who's the cat that won't cop out, When there's danger all about?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 8:59, 95 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
who was in this dream? I'm curious.
and What were they doing? It takes a bit to disturb you...
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:01, Reply)
there were a lot of people, even people where I don't know what they look like
it's fading, as dreams tend to do, but most of /OT was there. The main one I remember at the moment is Roota because she had become all bashful and wouldn't talk to me.

They weren't doing particularly disturbing things, that was a bit of dramatic licence
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:04, Reply)
ahaha, that's a bit cute.
urgh. I just discovered a stick in my hair from when I went flower cutting in the garden earlier.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:07, Reply)
I knew I'd be in there, cos I'm your BFF
But bashful, come on!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:08, Reply)
BFF?
How come you get Vipros and I get Al?
:(
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:09, Reply)
you and Al were BFFs way before Roota and I

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)
I thought he was all that was left.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)
:-(
you should have taken the time to shop around a bit more.

Besides, Roota and I being BFFs was inevitable. Two sides of the same coin etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:12, Reply)
Oh that's true.
Queen Roota and Vipros the Queeen.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:13, Reply)
may I refer you to this
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post779878
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:13, Reply)
I had about three hours sleep last night.
Perhaps even when we're not all in the same room, Noel's snoring still keeps you and me awake.
Bastard Noel.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:16, Reply)
that bastard
if I hadn't been in such a good mood that weekend that nights attempts at sleep would have destroyed me.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:17, Reply)
I don't have a BFF
sadface.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:15, Reply)
Have wellgroomedwookiee.
He's sarcastic and argumentative, but he's also very easy.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:17, Reply)
he named his sig after my whippet
so he's a high contender
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:38, Reply)
ME ME PICK ME!

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:11, Reply)
SHUT UP.
I haven't got a bff and it's not fair.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)
Nor do I
I'd ask you but I don't think you've forgiven me yet :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)
I'm so sorry badge, I assumed you would have a thousand BFFs
and now the position has been filled. Maybe you and wookie can be BFFs?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)
Wookiee, GO! Badger, GO!
MECHA-SAM
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)
Badookiee?
Or a Woodger?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)
Woodger, definitely.
It sounds a little bit rude.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)
I don't have a BFF either
can't imagine why
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:23, Reply)
Neither do I Kitty. :(

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:27, Reply)
Nor do I
I'm like a one-man wolf pack.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:35, Reply)
Maybe I should hold auditions.
If any of you want to be my BFF you can apply here.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:37, Reply)
How about...
I made you a badge? Two in fact, but one was a thinly-veiled insult.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:39, Reply)
oh that's true
I'll add 'badgemaker extraordinaire' to your audition sheet.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:41, Reply)
You don't expect me to sing or dance at these auditions, do you?
And if Simon Cowell's judging, do I lose points for pulling out my own femur to beat him to death with?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:43, Reply)
No you gain points for that

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:47, Reply)
ME ME PICK ME!!

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:11, Reply)
If you pick me that's your charity work done for like, a decade
Otherwise you should probably sponsor me

uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=martinandclaire
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:48, Reply)
Normally I do sponsor people, I think I sponsored Roota most recently
but as you might have seen in yesterday's thread, I have £33 in my bank account for the whole month, which works out at just over a pound a day, so I really can't afford to I'm afraid. If it's still open at the end of the month when I get paid I will sponsor you.

But you've ruled yourself out of the BFF running for making me feel bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:05, Reply)
I'm not really hoping for sponsorship from anyone here (except Larry cos he's fab)
am just pimping myself furiously. Sorry for making you feel bad. I know being skint is a bitch
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)
So what happened to Skinnybint Under Instruction?
And do you want photos of those mini-manniquins or not?
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:49, Reply)
Her BFF is Lampito.
Yes please, I would like to see them.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:06, Reply)
Lampito, really?
I thought you two were practically sisters.

(Lampito-nothing against you.Just saying like.)
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:11, Reply)
They've been out drinking and bonding y'see
whereas we play pole together. I'm probably BFF second in command.

I want Aberracion to be my BFF.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)
Really?
Oh! That's so sweet! I've never had a BFF! Are you sure? Can I write to you? And call you every 5 min just to check if you're ok? And meet every afternoon to talk about the day while going shopping?

I'm so excited

*Dances around the office*
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)
Yes, all those things :D
You can teach me to make paella and I'll teach you to make rainbow cupcakes, it'll be beautiful.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)
Oh! It sounds perfect!
When do we start?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)
Now I think
I'm already designing our matching hats.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)
Bieeeen!!
I'm crap at designing things or making things with my hands (apart from food)

I'm going to work hard and write a BFF song just for you!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)
You're my joint BFF.
I'm sticking it to the man and having TWO.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)
yay!
go and get Larry Vest for calling you Skinnybint again. Get him!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)
and woo!
Grrrrrr *bares teeth* *strains on lead*
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)
Gutted.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:17, Reply)
I have one now
EDIT: two in fact! I feel loved.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)
Yeah!
What he said
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:11, Reply)
I know, weird right

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:09, Reply)
I'm really sorry about what I did in the punch bowl.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:08, Reply)
ok FINE ignore me
I'm glad I did it now.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:31, Reply)
I almost replied to it earlier
because I thought you might get upset. but then I didn't.

I'm surprised I don't remember seeing your big beaked face in my dream...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:34, Reply)
You should've checked the ceiling.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:35, Reply)
that would've been horribly freaky
to look up and see that beaked, robed figure spread-eagled on the ceiling
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:40, Reply)
You always were.
Don't lie to us, sonny jim.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:34, Reply)
I was secretly proud I managed to get it in from that distance.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:36, Reply)
No, YOU cunts.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:04, Reply)
How delightful.
Thanks for stopping by.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:06, Reply)
I thought it was both poetic and insightful

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:07, Reply)
That's because you're a mong as well.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:08, Reply)
can't deny it

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)
dude, you're dreaming about us now?
You should get out more.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:07, Reply)
you weren't there

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:09, Reply)
Oh yes he was...
he was wanking behind a curtain.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)
*shudder*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:11, Reply)
like a sexy wizard of oz.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:14, Reply)
I like this

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:15, Reply)
Hahahahaa

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:17, Reply)
That's how I always think of you.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:17, Reply)
haha dream burn

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:16, Reply)
Yeah get out more
smell the flowers.

flowers still warm bus seats.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)
that's quite revolting

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:14, Reply)
I assume that my part in your dream involved something really gay
like bumming you. It's about time you confronted the reasons behind these fantasies
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:12, Reply)
there was no sex involved.
gay or otherwise
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:14, Reply)
So I wasn't in your dream at all then
Fucking hell, I'm even being rejected subconsciously
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:24, Reply)
you may have been with the sexy wizard behind the curtains

ugh, I've just had a disturbing idea for a film, involving Lampito with her appropriate name and Chompy as the wizard of Oz....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:26, Reply)
You'd have to be the cowardly lion mate
No-one else is sufficiently hairy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:33, Reply)
or cowardly

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:35, Reply)
*raises hand*
correction
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:35, Reply)
Give him the validation he craves, V
Tell him he massively bummed everyone there and it was all shocking and such
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:25, Reply)
yes
this is what happened
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:26, Reply)
"V"?
Look at you two with your cutesy nicknames for each other
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:31, Reply)
inventing things to get jealous over?
not a good look chum ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:33, Reply)
I can make anything look good

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:36, Reply)
the photographic evidence tells a different story

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:40, Reply)
No it doesn't
*furiously deletes 1,000 Facebook pictures*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:43, Reply)
You didn't ask a question.
It's not STATEMENT OF THE WEEK. Jeez Vipros.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:17, Reply)
You're not supposed to ask a question where there's only one answer!!
God you're shit at everything and the world.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:36, Reply)
you still love me though

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:54, Reply)
Weird
Last night I had a dream that chickenlady gave me an STI test.
It was unusual to say the least, but certainly not unpleasant
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:19, Reply)
did you get the results?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:20, Reply)
The only result was waking up with an erection

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:22, Reply)
Whoa - bad trip man.

(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:20, Reply)
I slept like an angel
I went to bed at 7pm for a quick nap and woke up at 9pm, did a couple of things at home and went back to bed at 10pm thinking I wouldn't be able to go to sleep.

At 5am some bastard woke me up with a vuvuzela. A vuvuzela! At 5am! Anyway, he went on his merry way and I went back to sleep until 6:30 when the alarm clock woke me up.

I feel fresh and full of life today.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:34, Reply)
that is not what I want to hear

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:34, Reply)
Sorry to dissapoint you
I'll try to have a bad night tonight.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:40, Reply)
that's more like it

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:41, Reply)
You can talk with Mark
He does a good job at keeping me awake by snoring and sleep walking. Yesterday was one of the few nights when I was so tired that not even him could wake me up.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:57, Reply)
People who sleep badly ALWAYS want to hear how good everyone else is at it.
It was me outside with the vuvuzela. ME.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:36, Reply)
It had to be you, eh?
Always annoying, always.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:41, Reply)
*prouds*

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:42, Reply)
that's true
if I tell someone how badly I slept, it always really cheers me up to be told that someone else slept like a baby.

"I lost both legs in an industrial accident"
"Really? I still have both of mine and have been skipping and jumping through meadows and over babbling brooks!"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:41, Reply)
TOTALLY THE SAME LEVEL OF DISTRESS
*applauds*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:43, Reply)
You should get happy with other people happiness
That's why you're so mean.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:57, Reply)
The happiness of other people is very annoying.
In other news, make me some more tapas.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:59, Reply)
Me gustaría tener más patatas y masilla verde
Por favor.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:02, Reply)
Hahaha
Masilla = www.wordreference.com/es/en/translation.asp?spen=masilla

I'll only make more if you are happy about something that happened to me. Go on. Anything.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:05, Reply)
Google Translator used 'masilla' for 'stuff'
I am happy you had a good night's sleep, and that you're getting married to the lovely Mark!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:09, Reply)
I am happy that you're BRILLIANT at making putty tapas.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:10, Reply)
I tawt I taw a putty tapas

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:16, Reply)
Hahaha
You two made me laugh. Ok, ok, but when and where?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:22, Reply)
I thought I slept fine
I woke up just before my alarm, feeling refreshed and full of vigour.
I've been in work 40 minutes, and I feel utterly drained.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:38, Reply)
You just can't manage the morning uberwanks any more, Labs.
Sadtimes.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:41, Reply)
Nooooooo...
he's SO going to ask you to help him
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:42, Reply)
I'm not sure...
last time we were on a thread together, I announced I was going to kick him in the nuts.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:45, Reply)
That wouldn't help the uberwanks one bit.
Not. One. Bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:46, Reply)
You love it
at least according to your browsing history
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:06, Reply)
Pah, my browsing history is meticulously scrubbed
Except at work, where I'm testing their web monitoring software by Googling odd things. Yesterday I looked up "Manly ways of killing yourself", so we'll see if I get called into a meeting soon ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)
Careful
People here don't want to hear you saying you slept well.

Maybe you didn't have enough breakfast.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:50, Reply)
I didn't have any breakfast
I can't eat if I'm not hungry.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:51, Reply)
Are you hungry now?
Would you like some rum and raisin ice-cream?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:52, Reply)
You wound me
*raisin rage*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:55, Reply)
hahahahha

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)
Well, that'd explain
Maybe you should eat something now?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 9:58, Reply)
Bert

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:27, Reply)

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