Bugger
Last night I discovered that after years of cumulative abuse more colourful than the combined tongues of Oscar Wilde and Bert Monkeysex, my hair has developed the ability to reject blonde hair dye. On top of that, I had to spend 5 minutes detangling knots in my headphone wires that could not possibly have tied themselves before I could go and get more dye.

What scientific impossibilities have flummoxed you lately?

Also, now I come to think of it, what words don't get used often enough? Like, ooh, I dunno, flummoxed?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:00, 92 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've always loved the word Pellucid, but I've never come across it in a good context.
which saddens me deeply.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:05, Reply)

At least you know what it means
which is more than I can say for myself
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:06, Reply)

It's quite clear

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:06, Reply)

yes. very clear indeed.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Time paradoxes
And to answer your alt q: ostensibly. It's a great word.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:06, Reply)

One thing I've never wanted to be is blonde.

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I'm naturally blond
And didn't much like it as I was growing up, as I stood out among the dark haired masses. But now it doesn't bother me. There's less of it that there once was anyway.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:09, Reply)

I used to be naturally blonde
One of those dull blondes that lights up quite nicely in the summer months. It appears that 9 years of constantly colouring it has robbed me of the capability forever
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:13, Reply)

You need to get it done properly at a hairdressers.

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Yeah, they use this stuff to lift it and make the dye take, don't they?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Yes or they might have to strip his colour to take a new colour.

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Costs a fucking fortune though
and I used to be able to dye it blonde without resorting to such measures
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I'm going to be blond for my hols.
So i can have moar fun.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:17, Reply)

My hair has gone two shades
lighter after constant sun, so quite blond now
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Here's a thing
Just thinking of hair, what's the deal with wigs?

I can kind of understand the use of a wig if, for example, a woman has lost her hair through alopecia or chemo or the like. But men wearing wigs because of natural baldness - what's that all about?

No one bats an eyelid when they see a bald man. But if he's got a wig on, it's usually obvious, and people notice it and have a chuckle. Why bother?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:11, Reply)

I think it's less of a worry for guys nowadays than it used to be.
I like baldies. There's nothing more sensual than getting your hands on someone's bald head.
( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:16, Reply)

We are awesome.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Bahahaha


Jealous?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Absolutely not

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Don't worry
I'm aware I look a twat
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:35, Reply)

It's not that you look like a twat
more that you look about 5
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:37, Reply)

I was 16 here, so not too far off

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:40, Reply)

That's strangely reassuring
I'd probably be absurdly jealous if that was a recent photo and you could take so many years off with a blonde mop
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Nah, that was back when I used to dye my hair regularly
Red, Black-red, Blue, Black-blue, Blonde, Purple and Black are the different colours I've had (not including natural hair colour)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Yep, been there my friend
The difference between us is (probably) that I persisted with such experimentation far beyond the age at which I could justifiably laugh it off as "hey, I'm only young, right?"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I stopped because one day I was washing my hair, and it dried within about 30 seconds
It just stopped holding pretty much any moisture, not good
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Ag, you look like the Boy From Space

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Hmm
Worryingly, I can see where you're coming from
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:36, Reply)

or a Midwich Cuckoo

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:09, Reply)

You look like Malfoy.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:54, Reply)

When I had my hair done red, they dyed it blonde first, and slicked it back
I seriously looked like Malfoy then, was odd.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Children of the damned V's Eminem

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:09, Reply)

a young rod hull

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:16, Reply)

you look like a cunt.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:27, Reply)

also, I've never been blonde.
nnot sure i could pull it off either. I'm a natural auburn though, so I can have flaming red hair and it looks awesome.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I love red hair.
Proper pillar box red.
( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I have had my hair that colour - there's a photo on my facespazz somewhere of it...

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Nice
As you can see, I don't suit blonde in the slightest!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:23, Reply)

arseburger
favourite word. I died my hair once and went ginger so never again. Besides I have developed over the past few years a rather wicked grey streak not unlike rogue of the xmen. Downside is I have a few grey chest hairs too, and beard ones.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:30, Reply)

I've got a single white hair on my nutsack.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:38, Reply)

is it like a prized possession or do you hate it?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:39, Reply)

It makes my balls look distinguished.
I am considering naming it.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Obvious joke
are you sure it's not your penis?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I tore it out once and it grew back.
So fairly sure, yes.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I dunno
I reckon that'd be quite a neat trick if you could cut your dick off and regrow it. HYDRA PENIS!
Except I'm not quite sure what you'd do if two grew back for every one you cut off...
(berk, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I'd make a fortune doing porn in Japan.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:50, Reply)

MINDPISS

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Panic, cut both off, panic some more as 4 grow back, try to calm down,
Make a fortune in porn.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I think the porn market is surprisingly intolerant of men with penises the same size as pubic hair
however many they have
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:04, Reply)

JAPAN, man.
They're all that size anyway.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I bow to your superior knowledge of male genitalia, sir

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Stop trying to get your face closer to my cock.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:20, Reply)

You can read me like a book
and not an especially good book. Certainly not Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNab, which actually improves with every read
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I can read you like Love It! magazine.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:24, Reply)

...is that a real thing?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

It's possibly the finest of the chav-mags.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

And you've done a comparison test?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Of course! I wouldn't make a claim like that without extensive research.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

And yet you have enough remaining brain cells to type?
I call shenanigans
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

If it is your cock then you're going to make a lot of fucking money from it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Fucking money is the best kind to make.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:50, Reply)

You spend far too much time thinking about your hair.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:31, Reply)

That is absolutely not true
One can never spend too much time thinking about one's hair
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Three words that should be used more often
Elucidate
Acquiescence
Androgenous
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I apologise, but in the absence of Monty and TGB
I feel obliged to point out that it's androgYnous.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I once tried to dye my hair blonde
it went orange. It was not a good look, particularly as I was 14 and had school the next day. I ended up getting up at 5:30am just so I could nip to the shop and buy another dye and sort it out before school. Apparently orange + brown = a weird sort of magenta.
I get my hair done at a salon now if I want it coloured.
(berk, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I am going to need a dictionary this morning aren't I!
Other words I like:

lube
tourniquet
rasta
caveat
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Sod it
rasta dildo
caveat anal beads

I think the others work as they are
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:02, Reply)

that sounds like an interesting night in.............................

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Depends if anyone's with you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)

surely that should have read, depends on who's with you?
or are you not that picky Darth?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Am thinking that trying all that alone would be not only unpleasant but also extremely complicated
unless you're a gymnast
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I'm sure with your dancing moves you could.......................drum roll please................
pull it off.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Dude
*looks appalled and secretly impressed*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

My hair's naturally dark brown
But I've had it blonde, black, red streaked, and blue. Can't be arsed faffing with the colour now, I spend enough time getting it up erecting it teasing it into a state of angry rigidity maintaining my chosen style.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:49, Reply)

A whole thread about your hair and hair dye?
The evidence is really starting to pile up
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Oh I ceased caring about that donks ago
I've got less chance of protesting my masculinity than I have of becoming King of the Potato People
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:03, Reply)

My liege my liege
there's trouble in the top field!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Trying to type yonks while thinking about dongs clearly doesn't work for you.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Ha! FSOTD*
Freudian Slip Of The Day
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Um, is donks not a word?
Also meaning a long time, much as does yonks? Must be a Nottingham thing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:13, Reply)

short for donkeys years
I assume
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Quite possibly
Never thought to seek out the etymology of "donks", but that makes a lot of sense!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Word that doesn't get used enough -
festooned.

Sorry, never dyed my hair. Now it's going grey, I wish I had - but now it's too late as it'd be totally obvious.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)

nebulous
and bevelled. Bevelled is a fun word to say.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Obstreperous.
And vituperative. Definitely vituperative.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)