I'm going to go and stake out some cupcakeries on Saturday
to use as market research for my business plan in the hope that a bank will give me money and not work out at any point that I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm also drafting an ad for freelancer.com to get someone to build me a pole website, so yes P to the P, I think Good Things Are Going To Happen this week too.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:43, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'll make you a pole website.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I'm suspicious

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

You should be
I would have hilariously misinterpretted your design brief causing a hilarious but tragic chain of events.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I'd misinterpret her design briefs
if you know what I mean.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

No, I'm not following you.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Well, she wants a pole website
but I have no idea about the internet so I would just get a pole and shove it through a computer monitor.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I definitely think you should do this
Your employers would love you for it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I just bought some new pole briefs
with Wonderwoman on them. They're awesome. And stretchy, so leeway for cheesecake consumption.

I know you don't care.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I don't care

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

" I just bought some new pole briefs"
"with Wonderwoman on them. They're awesome. And stretchy, so leeway for cheesecake consumption.

I know you don't care.

Applebite for Destruction is innanimate: I only move inside pubs, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:52, Ignore, Reply, I like this!) "

Now do you care?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Nope

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

HA!
Brilliant.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

He needs to make applebite's name bold and turn the ignore reply I like this bits into links.
It's a half job.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

It was a quicky
That much is true.
Edit: There, happy now? I even made the links work.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I was talking to AL!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Oh sorry
They sound lovely. Is her face on the crotch?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Like those Twilight knickers you can get?
The ones that have Robert Pattison's MOUTH on the gusset?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I think I might have noticed before I let it go live.
Also, I'm not sending you pictures of my pole students in tiny shorts.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I would just use photos of telephone poles
and Polish people.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

POLELOLZ

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

-
website
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

File -> Save As Webpage...

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Pretty much,
got to love word.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

People may think that MS Office's Save As Webpage is the worst way to make a website, or maybe Geocities, but they're wrong.
Those are designed for people who don't know how to make websites, and therefore can be forgiven.

It's Adobe Fireworks that is the worst, because it fills the page with a table filled with 1000s of pictures (with 100s of attributes to each element), and because it's adobe, people think it's _real_ website building, so they get Fireworks to build the table with a static size, align it to the center, change the background colour and say "All Done"; and charge for it.

My cousin is in one of those £500pa buisness groups, where you have one person per proffesion, and makes a lot of money out of it, I want in on it, but their "Website Designer" has paid double to take up Designer and Developer rolls, and he doesn't to much more than what I just said. The moment he has to touch code, he says "Can't be done, it's impossible".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

What do you use?
I don't expect Kitty to want anything that complicated, more like an info page and gallery than a whole website.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Photoshop and Dreamweaver.
Dreamweaver is just a syntax highlighter though, I don't use any of it's FTP or code-insertion features.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Get a piece of card
About A1 size, and an easel. You'll also need a telescopic-pointy-thing, and to wear some serious business specs, and tie your hair back.

On the card write the following:

1. People like cupcakes.
2. People like girls and hinted mild lesbianism, or at the least 'experimentation'.
3. QED people will buy cupcakes if you hint that two girls copped off near the pudding bowl.
4. ?????
5. Profit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

4. Viral video of 2 Girls 1 Cupcake!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Exactamundo!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

You also need to be wearing a grey pinstriped jacket that is slightly too small for you
so that your breasts are clearly straining against the material.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I see you've been attending my sales and marketing courses
attending hiding behind the coffee machine wanking during
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

My breasts don't strain :(
they sit quietly.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

For some reason I now have a Shakira song stuck in my head

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Mine are indeed small and humble as well
they're not smug like Vipros'
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

You can borrow mine.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Why?
Did the baby rip them off in a fit of rage?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Top strainage.
Hardly any of my clothes fit anymore.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Excuse to buy new clothes
I'm sure Catface is hating it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I bet you Catface has tried her milk.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

No money for new clothes.
*SADFACE*
We spent all the money on making the kitchen habitable so now I have to dress in rags. But the kitchen looks lovely.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I bet you can train Catface to sew
get him to make you new clothes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

He can use all those balls of wool that he normally just plays with on the floor.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Yay! Free milk!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

There's totally a photo of your breasts on facebook
unfortunately there is a baby stuck to them. It looks very happy.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Aye, you can see A WHOLE INCH of NEKKID FLESH ZOMG
if your retinas don't get burnt out first by the dazzling pastiness.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

It's alright, you're shading it with an umberella-ella-ella
Have you had anyone give you shit for breast feeding in public yet? I pity the first fool to try that.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

not yet,
but I'll be fighting the urge to spray them in the face when they do
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Noice Whan !
Sounds wicked, if you gaz me an approx budget, I'll give the website a pitch, if you don't mind =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

awesome, I'm on it.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I'll proofread Gonz's typing for you
my rates are very reasonable
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Haha
My favourite Gonzism is plummelling
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I'm thinking of opening a sandwich shop somewhere
because I make awesome sandwiches.

Just one thing on the list of 'things I want to do, but will never do'

Good luck with the entrepreneuring
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Thanks
I'll remember b3ta when I'm a dragon, I'll invest in Rob to take it to the next level.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Dragons' Den would be even better with b3tans as the dragons
Think of all the crap that would get invested in.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

"Hello, I'm a woman in a tight-fitting jacket and -"
"I'm in!"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)