Gooooood Morning Que Oh Tee Doubs Slash Oh Tee !
It's a good week this week, you can tell, things are gonna happen, it's gonna all kick off big time, full of promise. Donno what's gonna happen, anything from seeing bumholes to getting cheques, what's gonna happen? Nobody knows ! Well, you might know, I donno if you know or not, but eaither way, Good Things Are Going To Happen, but they ain't gonna happen sitting on your jacksy doing sweet ef aye.

So, what does this most magnificant and significant of weeks going to hold in store for you?

I saw this, and hope that they do this in london after the olympics: gizmodo.com/5613040/the-beautiful-water-cube-in-beijing-is-now-a-water-theme-park
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:25, 122 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Nothing my week's pretty free.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:30, Reply)

how's your flat shiznit going?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

MEH!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

so I take it you're all moved in and your housewarming will be any day now?
I'll bring a cactus.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

We have our Summer party at work on Friday
Ooooooh that'll be messy!!
We had fights, hospitalisation and arrests at the Christmas one, and thats the formal posh do. The summer one is usually more relaxed :)
(Miggyman, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I have my final of 3 weeks holiday
in lieu of starting a new job, in a new city. Can't frigging wait, I just hope I settle in nicely and don't do anything retarded.

Today though I'm waiting for breakfast to digest and then going out for a jog! Hoorah!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

ooh exciting times!
Which city?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Sheep-shagging Aberdeen
I've lived in Edinburgh before and Aberdeen seems a bit nicer actually. Quite a small City really.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

It's all very grey up there
Damn granite.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Ohh they love their granite
right. Jog time.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Nowt much planned
Got a mate visiting from Exeter on Friday, should be fun.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Morning Gonz
Myself and my friend Norm finally caved on Friday and ordered ourselves an old games workshop game called BloodBowl which we used to play at boarding school. It should arrive on Wednesday and I can't wait. Super sad but fuck it I'm 28 now and stopped caring about cool a long time ago.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I used to like 40k, space hulk and that one begining with 'm' that has squads and 3D urban terian.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

You're thinking Necromunda
And I hate myself for remembering that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

That's the one !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I hate you for remembering that too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I just hate you full stop

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Good morning deary

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

alright

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Killed your boss yet?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

It's only a matter of time
Although he's on the factory floor later, I may throw him in to the boxmaker see what happens
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I like the fact that you, The Grammer Badger, didn't put a full stop at the end of that sentance.
It's like you're spiting the full stop by not using it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I think you mean
Necromunda which was like blade runner meets the warriors. I paid for weed and booze at school by painting everyones models as I'm not bad at it. Space Hulk was the first one I bought.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

There was a free game
that they published in White Dwarf over too episodes that sounds very similar to this, it was based on gang warfare in a gritty futuristic city.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Yeah, Necromunda

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

yep that's the one. I may get that next as
It's an excuse to build some cool scenery and whatnot.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Mordheim?
I am a saddo also.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I've still got my version of that in the attic

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I have an inkling
that there will be a number of ex (or current) Games Workshop types on b3ta.

I've been clean for 10 years...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Some of my friends got back into it
I have steadfastly refused to join them. They wouldn't tell me if they could physically feel their virginity returning every time they entered that shop.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Sometimes when I'm out with the mrs
and I pass a games workshop I drag her in and have a look at all the models. Then I smile when I remember I have a girlfriend (although doing this with a wife will be even better) and I walk out with a spring in my step.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I'm too ashamed to admit that to the current Mrs
even though we walk past a Games Workshop every so often.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I walked by the one in Birmingham the other week
They actually have a female member of staff! She was muntin', but I bet she got all the ineffective nerdcock she could ever want.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I very nearly couldn't go in to the shop
on Friday as it felt wierd and then when I got in there they stopped selling it in store years ago. This will very much be an internet based hobby and hidden from my normal friends.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

It's like buying porn
but more embarrassing.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

it's worse than that
because you don't get kids in sex shops! well not legally anyway.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I thought
I would have been the only one. Its been almost 12 years since I played that stuff.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

This thread is fucking gay.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

watch out its angry grandad with his angry ways again!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Put the bottle down Monty
you're upsetting your daughter, see, she's not doing the Ian Curtis dance any more is she.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Not since I locked her in the fridge after she made *that* call.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Childline?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

No way, these are adult sized ones all the way.
sssssnnnnfffffftttttt

Ahhhhh

*opens cognac*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I'm going to go and stake out some cupcakeries on Saturday
to use as market research for my business plan in the hope that a bank will give me money and not work out at any point that I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm also drafting an ad for freelancer.com to get someone to build me a pole website, so yes P to the P, I think Good Things Are Going To Happen this week too.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I'll make you a pole website.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I'm suspicious

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

You should be
I would have hilariously misinterpretted your design brief causing a hilarious but tragic chain of events.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I'd misinterpret her design briefs
if you know what I mean.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

No, I'm not following you.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Well, she wants a pole website
but I have no idea about the internet so I would just get a pole and shove it through a computer monitor.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I definitely think you should do this
Your employers would love you for it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I just bought some new pole briefs
with Wonderwoman on them. They're awesome. And stretchy, so leeway for cheesecake consumption.

I know you don't care.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I don't care

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

" I just bought some new pole briefs"
"with Wonderwoman on them. They're awesome. And stretchy, so leeway for cheesecake consumption.

I know you don't care.

Applebite for Destruction is innanimate: I only move inside pubs, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:52, Ignore, Reply, I like this!) "

Now do you care?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Nope

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

HA!
Brilliant.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

He needs to make applebite's name bold and turn the ignore reply I like this bits into links.
It's a half job.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

It was a quicky
That much is true.
Edit: There, happy now? I even made the links work.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I was talking to AL!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Oh sorry
They sound lovely. Is her face on the crotch?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Like those Twilight knickers you can get?
The ones that have Robert Pattison's MOUTH on the gusset?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I think I might have noticed before I let it go live.
Also, I'm not sending you pictures of my pole students in tiny shorts.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I would just use photos of telephone poles
and Polish people.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

POLELOLZ

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

-
website
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

File -> Save As Webpage...

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Pretty much,
got to love word.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

People may think that MS Office's Save As Webpage is the worst way to make a website, or maybe Geocities, but they're wrong.
Those are designed for people who don't know how to make websites, and therefore can be forgiven.

It's Adobe Fireworks that is the worst, because it fills the page with a table filled with 1000s of pictures (with 100s of attributes to each element), and because it's adobe, people think it's _real_ website building, so they get Fireworks to build the table with a static size, align it to the center, change the background colour and say "All Done"; and charge for it.

My cousin is in one of those £500pa buisness groups, where you have one person per proffesion, and makes a lot of money out of it, I want in on it, but their "Website Designer" has paid double to take up Designer and Developer rolls, and he doesn't to much more than what I just said. The moment he has to touch code, he says "Can't be done, it's impossible".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

What do you use?
I don't expect Kitty to want anything that complicated, more like an info page and gallery than a whole website.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Photoshop and Dreamweaver.
Dreamweaver is just a syntax highlighter though, I don't use any of it's FTP or code-insertion features.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Get a piece of card
About A1 size, and an easel. You'll also need a telescopic-pointy-thing, and to wear some serious business specs, and tie your hair back.

On the card write the following:

1. People like cupcakes.
2. People like girls and hinted mild lesbianism, or at the least 'experimentation'.
3. QED people will buy cupcakes if you hint that two girls copped off near the pudding bowl.
4. ?????
5. Profit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

4. Viral video of 2 Girls 1 Cupcake!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Exactamundo!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

You also need to be wearing a grey pinstriped jacket that is slightly too small for you
so that your breasts are clearly straining against the material.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I see you've been attending my sales and marketing courses
attending hiding behind the coffee machine wanking during
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

My breasts don't strain :(
they sit quietly.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

For some reason I now have a Shakira song stuck in my head

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Mine are indeed small and humble as well
they're not smug like Vipros'
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

You can borrow mine.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Why?
Did the baby rip them off in a fit of rage?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Top strainage.
Hardly any of my clothes fit anymore.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Excuse to buy new clothes
I'm sure Catface is hating it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I bet you Catface has tried her milk.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

No money for new clothes.
*SADFACE*
We spent all the money on making the kitchen habitable so now I have to dress in rags. But the kitchen looks lovely.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I bet you can train Catface to sew
get him to make you new clothes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

He can use all those balls of wool that he normally just plays with on the floor.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Yay! Free milk!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

There's totally a photo of your breasts on facebook
unfortunately there is a baby stuck to them. It looks very happy.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Aye, you can see A WHOLE INCH of NEKKID FLESH ZOMG
if your retinas don't get burnt out first by the dazzling pastiness.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

It's alright, you're shading it with an umberella-ella-ella
Have you had anyone give you shit for breast feeding in public yet? I pity the first fool to try that.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

not yet,
but I'll be fighting the urge to spray them in the face when they do
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Noice Whan !
Sounds wicked, if you gaz me an approx budget, I'll give the website a pitch, if you don't mind =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

awesome, I'm on it.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I'll proofread Gonz's typing for you
my rates are very reasonable
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Haha
My favourite Gonzism is plummelling
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I'm thinking of opening a sandwich shop somewhere
because I make awesome sandwiches.

Just one thing on the list of 'things I want to do, but will never do'

Good luck with the entrepreneuring
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Thanks
I'll remember b3ta when I'm a dragon, I'll invest in Rob to take it to the next level.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Dragons' Den would be even better with b3tans as the dragons
Think of all the crap that would get invested in.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

"Hello, I'm a woman in a tight-fitting jacket and -"
"I'm in!"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)

i'm going on holiday on wednesday
when i get back i have only two more days of my notice to work then i'm out of a job and off to be a student.

can't bloody wait!
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

This week, I'm determined to actually be proactive in seeking a job
So far this morning I've already submitted my CV to one company, and half filled in another application. I feel it's therefore time to have a bit of a sit about.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

It is a lonely game
the jobseeking.

I had quite good motivation though in that my previous (at the time *current*) job was absolute murder. So after particular bad days I had all the zeal in the world trying to apply for new jobs.

I found making sure the format of the C.V. was spot on helped somewhat, my more condensed version seemed to be more successful (less jibber jabber more bullet-points) and I tried not to get too disheartened at rejections. Best of luck sir.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

This week will be utter shit for me.
My cat's moved out and I keep expecting to be attacked by the little fucker; I miss him terribly. I don't miss the smell or the hair, mind you, but they were a small price to pay for the enjoyment I got from having him around.

And I'm ill. I've been coughing up ectoplasm since Friday.

So bah fucking humbug (business as usual, really)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

wah wah wah
get over the stupid cat thing already
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Thanks for that, fatty.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

You're welcome you miserable old cunt

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

That sucks man
I had to sentence my gerbil to death on Friday. He has cancer, but the operation was £150 and we can't afford it. I feel really awful about it, but it's just so much money and he would only live another 6 or so months anyway so I had to say no. Poor Elvis.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

bad luck mate

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

You can buy five gerbils
for £150 squid. And dress them up as Girls Aloud and put the videos on YouTube and Louis will see it and love it but Simon will sign you first and their first album will go platinum but they'll start dying before the second album so you try and replace them with new gerbils but they won't get on and one of them will eat the ginger one and then in five years time they will all feature on those whatever happened to so-and-so T shows and people will remember and the album will get re-released and you will end up pretty rich as their manager.

/Gonz Inspired Post
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Give him to Richard Gere
so he can go out with a bang.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Yeah but Monty
in like two weeks or something we're going to be stuffing hot meat into our faces.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

There is that. I can't fucking wait.
Committed Needo-phile that I am, I do wish we were going to 'yabs.

Fucking Muslim cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Yeah, it's a shame
but it's better than no hot meat at all.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

They just need to ramp up the chillies a bit, I reckon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Not a good start to the week
terrible nightmares all last night.

Nothing really planned, might get down to some work, and keep on trying to build some upperbody fitness
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I woke up thinking someone had broken in
but it turn out to be a fish tapping on the bathroom window.

A wooden fish, not a real one obviously.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)

that is almost as bizarre as my dream
but less torture
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

bad luck with the dreams pal
do you think it may have anything to do with the utter weirdness you read? I am about half way through the book now and I don't know if I like it or not yet. I haven't put it down yet but it's very bizzare.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

One my multifarious pet hates
is the misspelling of 'weird', you'll be shocked to know.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I'm surprised you can remember what annoys you
the list must be so long now and with your age and the fact you are going senile. When I write my spelling is fine but when I type I get muddled.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Monty just knows what doesn't annoy him
1. Massive Drugs
2. His daughter

Everything else annoys him
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)

He likes hot meat too
but he sometimes gets annoyed when it doesn't contain enough chillis
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)