i've just rediscovered the joy of sketchbooks
i think i got kinda soured on them by having to produce them for a purpose at uni, when they became objectionable and filled with resentful half arsed scrawlings. now i'm rediscovering them as a diary-cum-braindump, they're much more fun. plus, it passes the hour long train journey WAAAAY faster than reading, and it gets me some amusing reactions from old ladies who for some reason, seem to fear the large hairy faced tattooed scruffbag sitting opposite, cutting things out of the metro with a scalpel and glueing them in, then drawing horrendous things on them and intermittently chuckling to himself.. pretty much guarantees me a free seat to myself.
what have you recently rediscovered that's made you smile?
alt question: what last inspired you?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:46, 149 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

diary
brain

A: Masturbation
Alt A: See above
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Are your wrists strong enough for that?
Or is your mum helping out again?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

They are not.
But the need to frantically and frequently onanise inspired me to create a device using an electric motor, a harmonic oscillator and a pint glass full of Tesco Value Beef Mince (up to 30% pure beef!).
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

needs a ball fondling attachment
in some sort of plush fabric.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Some sort of cupping device?
Possibly even a Warren cupping device?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I take it you chose the mince on being the closest to the contents of the human bowel.
For the authentic touch.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)

The closest, yes
But it still doesn't grip as well as a fresh one.

Though if I loosen one of the bearings, I might be able to make it wriggle and squirm...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Maybe some kind of suction?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Hmm...I'm conceiving of a blend of egg and/or cornflour with the mince
The more I pound it with my mighty* pork sword, the thicker it will become, and will feel as though the grip is tightening as it wriggles away in vain.

The next challenge will be to install the donkey-punch button...


*_{read: laughable}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I'm sorry
I genuinely think I'm going to be sick.
Though isn't cornflour and water a non-Newtonian fluid? Do you think the same is true of spunk and cornflour?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

It is. It's exciting stuff, as the harder you hit it, the more solid it gets.
Like a sphincter contracting more and more sharply as the jackhammering increases in vigour.

I fear the salty protein suspension that is my semen may, however, break the surface tension and slacken the polluted mixture.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I remember playing with it when cooped up in a tiny apartment in LA
(cornflour and water, not your semen- I doubt you would have been old enough to produce it then and it's a long way to shoot :P )
It was exciting but because I added food dye my hands were purple. The joys of "Science Experiments"

Well, as for your latter point... THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT! Let us know.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

a cum braindump?
That sounds like writing down ideas for porn
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Is 'show and tell' your favourite part of the day?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

maybe
what is being shown and what is being told?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

You are Kevin Spacey in "Seven"
and I claim whatserfaces head in a box
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

whatsinthaaabaaaawks?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

"Andy built a library"
Sorry, wrong film
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

it does get a bit dark at times.
better out than in, right?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

This is what I told the police
But they were convinced that those young ladies in the park didn't want to see my genitals. Some people....
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

no appreciation for art.
it's not porn if you superglue a feather boa and a picture of jeff goldblum's freaky fly hand to it and it's artfully lit.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I just put a pair of glasses on mine
And said it was Salman Rushdie
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

It's all fine...
*backs away slowly*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

NOTHING!
I'm supposed to be working until 6pm and nobody can cover me and I have trains to catch and ting to do.
But I did just have a nice long meeting that didn't scare me.
EDIT and while I've away there've been millions of posts and I'll never catch up, so yeah.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Suddenly become "ill"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

I've been too vocal about my plans
It will be obvious
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

"Women's problems"
And they'll back right off.

_{Never seems to work for me though...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)

If you don't catch your train
I'm having your bofriend.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

You're always having my boyfriend
Can you leave him be for ONE night??
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I found an old CD
with short stories on it that I wrote when I was about 12. Made me smile and cringe in equal measure
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

written or spoken?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

performed through the medium of interpretative dance.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

With extra Frazzles?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

written thankfully
I think I'd probably have killed myself in the dulcet tones of myself as 12 year old had been on it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

My nana has one of me singing as an 11 year old
I don't mind the ones of me as a toddler singing Toyah, Fame, and Adam Ant, but the older one makes me cringe.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

That's the reason there are no
photos or videos of me between the age of about 8 and 16. I destroyed them all or simply ducked out of them all.

The stories are disturbing though, I read them and think 'these are really odd'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

What are they about?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

they are sci-fi and fantasy
most of them are horribly derivative, but one or two are something a bit different, that I might cannabalise for ideas now
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

There's a video somewhere of me as a two year old
At one of my cousin's dance shows getting up and doing the locomotion with them. Luckily no one knows where it is anymore.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

haha!
I was never recorded as a baby. Plenty of photos of me though, my dad has a collage of all the cute ones, where I'm sweeping in a Laura Ashley dress and Doc Martens.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Haha, Iso you've always been like this?
My favourite of me as a baby is as about six months old sat on my dad's motorbike.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:31, Reply)

I was looking through old pictures that I'd not put on facebook
(therefore not existing)

Found lots of pictures of me being thin, and a picture of my ex in a fluffy tiara. I'd upload it but I've forgotten where it is already.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

old pics for me are a mixed blessing
on one hand, in some, i am thinner. HOWEVER, it comes with the caveat that i am also on massive drugs and therefore prone to gurning, outlandish attire, and some epically spacky hairdos.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

could be worse
I looked like Meatloaf
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

You two should team up - you could be Meat l'oaf

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

I look at them and think "Your hair is lovely! Do something with it! Also, be more positive. And continue eating what you want. It won't last."

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

The moomins.
I love the moomins so much.

alt: Cartoon burlesque posters.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Yesyesyesyes.
Snufkin was my first, remembered, crush. And I still love Hattifatteners, I have a mug with them on.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I found a massive moomin plush toy on the internet that I wanted so much
But I can't find it now :(
I've asked for this for my birthday
www.artbox.co.uk/moomin-handbag-comic-p-4567.html?manufacturers_id=91
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Oh that's amazing
We have six of the mugs, I have a Sniff phone charm, several badges... My dad worked in Helsinki for a bit, they have lots of memorabilia over there.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:08, Reply)

I have a ruler, aha.
I think it was a free gift from the comics. Everything else has been lost to the mists of time. I have loads of muppets stuff though. I've always loved Animal.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

I thought the moomins finished when I was a kid? Ah what a great show.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

It did.
Rewatching it on the internets.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I swear I can remember
A puppet show about Badgers on channel 4 when I was a kid and there wwere singing vegetables and some weird glowing rock. None of my friends can remember this and I think I might have imagined it.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Maybe it was really
THIS

I actually really enjoyed that, but I enjoy creepypasta in general.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I was -10 then but thanks, cool site though. I am convinced it's real I will try and do some google magic.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I get that.
I seem to be the only person on the planet that remembers the Gummi Bears and Gargoyles on Disney Adventures on a saturday morning.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Gummi Bears!
Looking back that magic potion was blatant MASSIVE DRUGS metaphor.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Aha,
Maybe I'm not the only one then.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Gummi bears was awesome
was around way before Gargoyles too.

Didn't Gargoyles have Word and Troi from Star Trek doing voices?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I have no idea.
They were the best kids tv shows of my generation though I reckon. Kids tv nowadays is shite.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)

I dunno, My Goldfish Is Evil is pretty funny

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:52, Reply)

True
these days the best quality cartoons have a really quirky ironic sense of humour aimed at early teens/young adults/stoners so they just go over younger kids' heads.

Spongebob and The Marvellous Misadventures of Flapjack aren't too bad though.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:53, Reply)

bouncing here and there and everywhere they are the gummi bears. Best extended sweet advert ever.

And the Raccoons. 'A long time ago in the everglade forest, lived the Raccoons' cue - awesome theme tune.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

They don't make opening credits like they used to.
Time was, you could tell how good the show was going to be my the opening theme, now it's just a shitty word flash.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I know every generation says something similar but my lot had the best kids telly of the lot. I just bought my nephew all the box sets of Dogtanian. He said his first word yesterday to me. My brother is not happy! he he
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Was it "leave"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

hahahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:35, Reply)

no but not much better 'bad'
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Show? SHOW?!?!
No no no. The show is good. NOTHING compares to the books.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

^FACT.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

I have no idea
what the moomins are
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Fabulous books. I must remember to get them for my little'un.
Along with Noggin the Nog.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Dolly Parton - Don't care what anyone says her music is brilliant.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Arsenal + Gingers + Dolly = Deacon. Deacon of the Joey variety.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I am the harlequin of bad taste, abrasive personality and shit dress sense. I should just fucking kill myself.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I like this

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I thought you might.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Sleep.
Or hopefully I will rediscover it tonight, courtesy of my NHS-o-matic airway mask that I was given at the hospital today!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Oooooo
my father in law has one of those.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

I remember you saying.
I have been officially diagnosed with chronic sleep apnoea, so I'm hoping this will do the trick. I can't remember the last time I had a good night's kip.

According to the readout from last night, I stopped breathing 12 times in the space of three minutes last night.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Hope it does the trick for you
Out of interest, do you get really strong dreams as a result?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I never remember them.
So I don't know.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

I can't even be bothered to read this thread properly so I'll answer my own question.
No
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

was the question "Do I fancy the OP?"

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

sketchbooks?
Gaytch books, more like
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Who sung this?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I had briefly forgotten that meme.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Fuck Off Cats

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

It's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

wow, if i'd known all i had to do to become a homo was sketchbooks
i'd have cashed in on the rigtheous indignation, well manicured nails and flounce out of jail free card and hot female consorts YEARS ago. i thought it had somethign to do with bumsexing the mens.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I haven't read the OP yeah whatever I'l do it later maybe
Ok peeps you want to know why I am so angry all the time? Because my work is fucking do my nut in to the point where if I'm not angry online where, let's face it, it doesn't count then I am seriously going to murder someone. I was doing ok this morning catching up on stuff when my boss says:
You only have one day of holiday, you'll have to come in over Christmas.
Me: Really? Can I not have it off as a reward for working hundreds of unpaid hours this year?
Boss: It doesn't work like that.
Me: So I don't get paid if I'm sick, I don't get paid if I stay over which I have to do to try and vaguely stay on top of things, I didn't get paid any more when you forced me to take on half of Sandra's accounts when she left - even though you keep lying to me saying you will be giving me more money which you are never goingto do really are you, yet Sy gets paid to play taxi which means I then have to do all the work he was brought up here to do making it utterly fucking pointless especially as he still seesm to get 10 days a year more holiday than I do!?
Arghgghghghgh

See I'm lovely at bashes because I am so fucking happy to get away from this fucking shithole

TL;DR yeah yeah whatever
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Hand in your notice.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I am looking for work sadly there isn't much that meets my requirements
of money, location and something I think I'd enjoy doing.

Reed.com came up with three jobs :(
I have too much debt to leave without another job lined up *cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Oh in that case shut the fuck up about it.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)

What like you shut up about your phone?
Which was all you posted about. In caps most of the time
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

That's your problem,
not enough caps.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Everyone needs a good cap collection
My favourite one is blue, with a little propeller on top
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

I meant capital letters,
which should have been obvious by the context, are you mentally sub normal?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:30, Reply)

*sigh*
Of course I know what you actually meant you twat. I take it you're sick of your eyeballs itching then?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I also knew what you meant
but decided to suck any wit out of your reply because it would annoy you and provoke a defensive response.
It worked, I am a hero.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:38, Reply)

*sigh*

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Cheer up shit face
*friendly punch in the kidneys*
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Oh all right then.
*friendly kick to the crotch*
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Jolly good
*friendly repeated curb stomps*
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:48, Reply)

you're up early.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Morning
I'm going to email my dance teacher today, so be prepared.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Yay! I'm excited
Is she going to make me do really hard, mean stuff like superman drop into gemini, into angel, into fly, into hercules, into jade, into heart attack?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Naah, not at first anyways.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Reed are useless cunts and I hate them
That doesn't help does it...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

try totaljobs.com or monster, they're much better
isn't it?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

The fact you're being helpful scares me
But thanks. And CD yeah CUNTS ARGH RAGE WOO
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Reed.com
isn't that great to be honest. There are ways of approaching companies directly that have minimal risk of backfiring and getting back to current employers.

I have no idea what you do but some of these tips might help. If you are interested let me know I can email you some info on it from my rec days.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I work in a box factory
But I am a sales coordinator so I get to listen to angry customers bitch all day that their boxes are shit, the print isn't square, the print is the wrong colour, the boxes are delaming, the boxes are fishtailing, the boxes aren't strong enought to bury grandma in etc etc

See when you know the information I am no where near as angry as I should be.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:30, Reply)

do you make cupcake boxes?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

We make boxes for the Fabulous Bakin' Boys
not the ones you buy, the ones they get displayed in. Are you after cupcake boxes?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I'm trying to price some up for my business plan
I need the ones that have the cardboard insert so they don't get all smushed around on transit. There's a company called the Cupcake Box Company that I've found that's quite cheap, but I need more than one quote.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Our minimum order quantity (MOQ)
will probably be around 2500. And probably not very cheap as we suck
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

way to sell your company.
thanks anyway though!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Stress is stress regardless of the cause. Already you're gonna have an attractive skill set for most businesses it's a case of picking a handful of companies you want to approach and tailoring yourself for them. This used to be my speciality for Reed back in the day so if you do come up with a list of companies gaz me a copy of your CV and their names and I will have a play around.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Skill Set
Anger
Sarcasm
Amazign tpying skillz
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Charlie Brooker?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

fucker married Konnie Huq in Vegas last week. Jealous.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Did he really?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Yes
Look how blissfully happy they are

WARNING MAY CONTAIN LINK TO THE DAILY MAIL
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:59, Reply)

good angry threadjack
would read again.
needs more graphic, scatological descriptions of what horrible poop-based revenge you'd like to wreak on said boss, but it's got time to develop.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

When I write that bit I'll be sure to use the word Hornswaggled!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

see that you do
it's vitally important to my project.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Get another job
there's loads of them out there. The private sector is just itching to take over from that bloated overpaid public sector, it's just never been able to until our lovely government started cutting back on "PC gone mad" jobs.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)

There are a lot of jobs
Sadly most of them are under 16k or reeeeeaaaalllly far awwwaaaaaaaaaaay
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I hate my job too and it makes me angry.
I have to keep reminding myself that if I quit I won't be able to afford all the masses of food I love to devour.

Is it in line with your career or do you think you could try another field? I wanted to do that, but I've risen sufficiently high in the stupid boring admin sector to be too highly paid to start again somewhere else until I've finished my degree.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Career? HAHAHAHAH
I have nothing I am a desk monkey but I ahve no qualifications so I dunno what else I'd do
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:35, Reply)

fireman?
anger management consultant?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:44, Reply)

ha
NEED MOAR ANGRY
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

How about Loose Women panelist?
You could really fuck their shit up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:50, Reply)

So
you want to 'have it off as a reward', eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:51, Reply)

When you were a kid, did you ever stand with a mirror perpendicular to your body
and you lift one arm and one leg up so to the person looking in the mirror it looks like you're doing a crazy star jump type thing? I rediscovered that yesterday and it made me smile.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

My dad still does that in shops.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

that nearly made me coffee spit
I guess the apple fell reeeeeeally far from the tree eh?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:30, Reply)

my mum break dances* in shopping centres
they should totally hook up

*well attempts to
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Knowing your mum
they probably already have.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:34, Reply)

YOU SAID YOU LOVED HER THEN YOU MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:41, Reply)

What can I say
that's how I roll.

Because I'm so fat.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:42, Reply)

It's not as fun for everyone else
If you mock yourself.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Thanks for setting that up

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:44, Reply)

That is truly repulsive.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:01, Reply)

I recently got lost in a hall of mirrors :-(
I've never felt so small

Then big, then fat, then thin, then squiggly
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I found a CD an ex-girlfriend recorded for me years back
I forgot how good a singer she was, really made me smile.

Alt Q: The fact that I had breakfast this morning, and am currently enjoying a monster cup of tea.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I am inspired on a daily basis by Jimi Hendrix.
If I get much more inspired by him I fear I may be joining the poor man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:56, Reply)