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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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SHUT UP
I've got an email from my old letting agent saying "oh of course you can have your deposit back"
After I've started sueing him for three times the deposit.

I MAY BE ABLE TO AFFORD SOME FOOD TONIGHT!
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:05, 146 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Food Thread !

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:08, Reply)
I might have a takeaway curry or chinese or something.
although I've only got an email saying he's going to transfer the money. I haven't actually got the money.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)
You're going to have 100 Marlboro reds and you know it.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)
Monty, you know your drugs, why are superkings sometimes reffered to "100s" ?

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)
'cos they're 100 millimetres long

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)
Aha. I suspected this.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:13, Reply)
Whenever I've smoked them I've felt sick by the end - too long. Too much nicotine in one go.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)
Ahh, cool, 10 POINTS FOR GRIFINDOR

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)
Because hundreds of people die from smoking them

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)
Wotcha G-man.
I have to confess my knowledge of cigarettes is minimal. I do not know - are they 100mm long?
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)
I've nicked 2 silk cuts of my friendly gay work mate.
They're rubbish.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)
Tear off the filters
and they're passable.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)
How long have you been smoking for?

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)
6 years on and off.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)
I didn't have you down for a smoker

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)
because he doesn't look cool enough?

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)
I've got a leather jacket and everything.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)
good man

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:22, Reply)
it's human skin mind.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I'd wear one of those
provided it had some cool tattoos.

where's Lab, I want to make a coat from his skin.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)
like numbers on the sleve?

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)
yeah

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)
My adult learning grant should arrive soon and all I want to do is spend it on getting
my back started off properly.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:30, Reply)
There are unsubstantiated rumours
of SS commandants in concentration camps having human skin lampshades.

Possibly my brother's worst taste gag of all time was along the lines of acquiring one and saying 'look - mine's limited edition. It's numbered'
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)
How likely is that to be true? or do you think or is it just a rumour also?
There's another like you? God help me.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)
It's not true.
How can it be - as we all know, the Holocaust never happened.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)
hahaha

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Officelol for your brother's joke

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:32, Reply)
I had heard that rumour

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)
I'm sure I saw
something about those at a display in Buchenwald itself.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)
The reason Silk Cut are shit
is 'cause they cut holes round the filter. You get more air coming in and less smoke. Look closely. Then clamp your fingers or mouth over them and you can smoke it more like a normal cig.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)
Take the deposit and then sue them anyway
and then burn their office down
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)
Having first posted them a poo, of course.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)
Indeed

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)
Bum them to death.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)
That's your answer to everything

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)
It really is, you know.
Seems to be working out for!
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:30, Reply)
What are you going to eat to treat yourself?

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)
If they repay you can you still sue them
for compensation of some kind?
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)
I don't know, I think I can accept partial payment
I have no idea though.
He hasn't admitted that he didn't protect my deposit though, that's the biggy. He doesn't have to though all the deposit protection people have confirmed he hasn't.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:13, Reply)
I'd accept nothing bar the full amount you're asking for.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Yeah I think that's what I'm going to press for
"you haven't got any defence, thanks for the 900 I'll expect the £1880 to come soon."
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)
I hope you are going to charge them interest and demand compensation for the time you have had to spend on all this and the resultant stress

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)
I hope so too.
maybe get a fiver for every one on here I've bored.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:13, Reply)
I'm going to sue them myself
for the distress and CHRONIC BOREDOM caused by hearing about it ALL FUCKING DAY LONG on here.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Any compensation should thus be passed to us to spend on various roasted meats and fine wines.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)
and fags, don't forget the fags.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:13, Reply)
I bought a training collar for my dog and it quit working the next day so I took it back
I've now been able to afford nice things like fuel for my car and a book and some Dark Intense Hot Cocoa

hurrah for extra monies
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)
I think those collars are a bit mean
But I think those pictures of your dog in the river and on the sofa you posted are so cute. And the one where she is leaning out of the car window is my favourite.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)
it's a fair enough opinion, I don't really like using it, however her behaviour completely changed in the course of 24 hours
and I liked that I could take her in the river and she could run around and play without having to have a leash on

if they weren't so expensive I would've gotten a different one, the one I got was $120, the others were around $200 and up
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Is 'Dark Intense Hot Cocoa' a euphemism?

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)
i like my men like my hot cocoa
big and brown
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)
I bought a 7 port USB hub
wow it's excitin...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)
God it really is.
Thank God I was sitting down when I read this.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:23, Reply)
My bloodpressure
just went through the roof.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)


(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:25, Reply)
I'm getting it so I can get the INTERNET
at home so I CAN POST MORE ON HERE.

Trufax.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:26, Reply)
Oh dear God Jimmer no!!
You can't spend actual money to enhance your experience of this place.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)
I don't go out
I alternate time between my office job which I hate and staying at home painting Warhammer and posting on b3ta.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)

www.succeedsocially.com/sociallife
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)
Where's the step
with the baths and lime and stuff? I always stumble at that stage.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)
psssst, psssssssst, Jim, Jiiiiim, Jiiiiiiiiiimmm!
which Warhammer miniatures?
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)
You had recently gone up in my estimations. You have now gone down again.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)
you can recently?
huh? I love painting them, It is one of the few things in this life, emphasis on the few, I am good at.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)
I don't know, they're small and I only have two pots of Humbrol :(

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)
Are we still talking about miniatures!

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)
Nope, I was lying
I'm getting the hub to power my social life.

SNAP
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)
I'll have you phillistines know that I paid
my way through boarding school painting little men for little men. £5 for a lead model, £10 for 3 plastic models. Big models come and see me in my dorm for a consultation. That kept me in drugs and booze for almost a year.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)
Pfffft
this is easily the most tragic thing that has ever been posted here
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)
Teenager in Model Painting Shocker
as opposed to

Cutting Northern Bastard Talks Lots about Bread and Bicycles Tedium.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)
I've got a new bike
It's better than Als.

Ho ho ho.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)
you really are a smug motherfucker aren't you?

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)
It's a nice bike.



If you like that sort of thing.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)
ha

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)
update: the money isn't in my account yet.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:26, Reply)
I used Google Checkout to get
my hub. I've been looking for a 7 port powered hub for agezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)
Have you got any kind of proof that they wern't going to give you the deposit?
'cus if soo, you should tell them to pay the legal costs you've spent so far.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)
as the resident b3ta solicitor
i think i said my costs were 50% of any sums recovered...
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:30, Reply)
and as B3ta's resident torturer and extorter
I get the other 50%.

Unlucky Chompers, looks like it's 12p noodles for supper again.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:32, Reply)
yeah but
i assisted with the housing act 2004 and the relevant caselaw and everything. i think i should get your 50% as well.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)
*tortures*
*extorts*
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)
it's not torture
if i enjoy it
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)
Not doing it right
then.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:42, Reply)
Personally, I reckon you're all doing it wrong if someone doesn't run out the room and down to boots crying.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)
I usually find people can't run to Boots
if they've been tied to something, got spikey things between their toes or have been hogtied.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Beat me to it
Only I was going to say 'if they've had their kneecaps smashed in with a claw hammer'.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:48, Reply)
You fiend, you.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)
I read that as "relevant coleslaw"

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)
Sounds like the name of an Exeter student band.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)
Hur hur hur
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solicitation
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)
Oh man, it's totally past 3pm
If I know bank transactions, which I don't, it wont get there until tomorrow
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)
The email was pre 14:30, if he did it direct transfer
then it should be in my account before 16:30.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)
CHAPS payments take up to a couple of hours, BACS take a day.
If they are with a different bank to you. If you are both with Barclays for example the transfer should be immediate.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)
Faster payments been in place for most banks since 2008
There's no excuse if he's transfering it online.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)
Hopefully it will go through
but banks have a nasty tendency to withold afternoon transfers, some they invest in the overnight markets and the rest they stuff up their arses FOR THE SEXUAL THRILL
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)
Check this
www.ukpayments.org.uk/sort_code_checker/
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Well if it's not in by 3.30 that's another day's interest you can charge them at 8% above base rate.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)
only if
the court says so, pursuant to s69 cca 1984.

personally i think the court would take a dim view of an agent/landlord who deliberatel flouted a law put in place to assist tenants. if there's one thing judges love, it's poor little tenants.

/usually acts for landlords
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)
I'm white and I talk posh and everything!

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)
They'll love you
especially if your landlord is a darkie or an ethnic
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)
you've got less chance then
borrow monty's child and say you're a single mother. the judge will come in his pants to bend the law to let you stay, regardless of whether you have trashed the place and not paid rent for 6 months.

/usually acts for landlords
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:42, Reply)
I'm not letting that rapist anywhere near my little angel.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)
good point
very good point
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:47, Reply)
I have a real issue with the papers chucking in a couple of stories where some scrote
uses the law to keep someone out of their house for as long as possible and use that as an excuse saying that the law is on the side of the scrotes, Aaaah, fuck it, I can't even be bothered to finish this rant.

Show us your tits swipey.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)
show me yours first

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Al has a fabulous pair of gazongas.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:49, Reply)
I've been eating biscuits to build them up especially

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)
He may luck out if the landlord is withthe same back it's instantaneous anytime of the day!
It's only BACS/CHAPS that have cut off times
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)
My stupid layabout tenants haven't paid their rent this month
so no food for me.

Congrats for you though, hope the money actually arrives.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)
I bet you wish I was your tennant.
I'm litigious!
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)
s8 notice!
grounds 10 and 11...
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:49, Reply)
Is this WoW talk?

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)
hotter
it's LEGALESE
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)
section 8 of the Housing Act 1988 - notice to quit

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)
yeah
i'd know all about that, being the gamer that i am
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)
It's only a week late and apparently it's because of trouble she's having with her housing benefit
so I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it's annoying because all my bills are still going to go out on the 1st, so I'll have to find the money from somewhere else until she pays me. Which means no money for corsets and cakes and poles and hats and other LAAKtivities.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)
Her trouble with ousing benefit
is that she's spent it on crack and ready meals. I do think it's fucking ridiculous that tennants actually get given the housing benefit money rather than have it go direct to the landlord.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)
I know, that really annoys me
why do they need to be given the choice of how to spend it when they'll obviously make the wrong one? Damn serfs.

She's only lived there a month so this would be her first payment after the initial deposit and rent she paid up front, so hopefully she's telling the truth and it's just the council, but it's still irritating that I'm out of pocket. I've already gone overdrawn because the rent didn't arrive when it was supposed to.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)
1st month? that doesn't bode well at all.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)
More likely that the council will fuck it up in the first month
/having to speak to the council tomorrow about trying to charge me the wrong council tax.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)
Hopefully, I don't really have any experience of benefits or how they work.
Personally though if the rent isn't in my account when it should be after the 1st month I would be a little worried.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)
well I am a little concerned
but hopefully once the council have sorted out the benefits it should be plain sailing. I'm really hoping. I've been paying for two flats since March, I can't afford to do it much longer.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:17, Reply)
what Chompy said
that's why I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, she had enough money saved to be able to pay the deposit and the first month's rent up front so I'm hoping that means she's responsible and it's just the council being douchebags.

Like Becky only receiving her jobseekers allowance from 2 months ago. Council = rubbish.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:16, Reply)
100% this
i ranted about this when it started happening! here, you've got no money. have a big cheque.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)
But thats the only concession you get Swipey
in every other instance the laws protecting tenants are good.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:10, Reply)
You're thinking of Children in Need.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:19, Reply)
I would have registered your deposit though.
However I would also sneak round when you were out and steal from your Waitrose cheese collection.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Go round and eat their food

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:48, Reply)
it's probably from Netto

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Evict them on Christmas Eve
Yes, even Tiny-Tim
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:48, Reply)
oh colonel

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)
and pinch his crutch
I SAID CRUTCH
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)
that's a very specialised fetish

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Not as specialised as yours

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)
I'm a special kind of guy
*drools*
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)
hang on
i thought i was the one drooling
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)
It's probably contagious
like the common cold, flu, and dyslexia
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)
i meant over you
god do i have to spell out all my compliments...............
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)
It's not my fault, i'm spesh

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)
cut off their legs first so they can't escape from the gutter that you throw them in to

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Seems fair

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Especially him.
His records were fucking appalling.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Quite right
The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band did a much better version of "Tiptoe through the tulips"
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)
Tinny Tim
was one of Futuramas best characters.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)
"Good news gentle jerk-wads"

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Damned by faint praise, there.

(, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)

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