Minor Misunderstandings
As opposed to Major Misunderstandings in the Viz, what minor misunderstandings have you had in the past? Major and Minor can be very similar imho. To start the ball rolling: A friend of mine once asked me to talk to a girl and find out if her friend was single. I said to Michelle or suchlike, 'Can I ask you something?' Before I had chance to do anything she quickly (a littlw too quickly) blurted out 'I'm seeing someone.' Needless to say, it still seemed like rejection even after I explained!
(muzzvsworld, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:20, 99 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My brain just dribbled out of my ear.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:21, Reply)

*tastes it*
Needs moar thought
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I'LL IMPRISION YOU IN A MINUTE!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:27, Reply)

ha
now you look silly
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Not a silly as your face!!!j___)!!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:30, Reply)

sadface

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:31, Reply)

*smears brains on your face*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:34, Reply)

We're now legaly married according to some tribes

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:04, Reply)

ditto
Hence my tired example.
(muzzvsworld, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I've just found out that the guy I hate at work is leaving at the end of the month
I'm so happy I think my headache has gone.

SO HAPPY.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Alt question
What's the worse takeaway you ever had? Fast food etc
(muzzvsworld, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:21, Reply)

My friends girlfriend told me how she was locked out,
I thought she said knocked out and then I spent about 10 minutes having a confusing conversation about domestic violence and lock-smiths.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I can tell this thread is going to be gold.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:25, Reply)

It won't beat this subthread.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Noel and psychochomp,
There is no better internet partnership.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:27, Reply)

4 and chan
would be more highbrow.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:28, Reply)

doubles get!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Explain to me
how major and minor are similar. I'm intrigued.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Majors march about barking orders
and Minoers dig big holes in the ground
( Peej, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:00, Reply)

My friend thought I worked for the British Horse Society
when actually I worked for the British Whore Society
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Comedy gold
*writes down*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:28, Reply)

major and minor
They're not at all sinilar, I was being greedy. However if you're a drama queen there is no distinction.
(muzzvsworld, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Try the 'Reply' link under each post, there's a dear.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I once thought I'd ordered a taxi
but I hadn't.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Did you end up with a Lamb Rogan Josh instead?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:34, Reply)

No
It turns out I'd reported next door to Social Services for beating their kid.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:35, Reply)

I was tempted to do that the other day.
But then I realised the new neighbours don't have a kid, just that the guys girlfriend shouts at him like he's a child.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I used to have a neighbour like that
I never saw him because he lived in a different building, but whenever she visited him the whining and nagging would echo through the fireplace. He would attempt to drown her out by turning the Waterboys up to 11.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Did you suspect that he was giving her "A Bang On The Ear"?

(Cave Duck, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:45, Reply)

The poor man wouldn't have dared
He used to sing Be My Enemy at her really loudly when he was really drunk and brave though
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:45, Reply)

It's stupid isn't it?
everyone gets annoyed with their partner at times but if you so full of hate you can scream at them for 2 hours without hesitation or repetition you might as well find someone else.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:46, Reply)

^ this
why try and make something work if it's that bad
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Or participate in Radio 4 comedy panel games

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Some people seem to enjoy aggro

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Mancunians

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:54, Reply)

This, definitely
I don't understand couples who fight and scream and storm out and don't speak to each other for days. If Wiggy and I fight, we'll have cross words and then (one of us who is perhaps more highly strung than the other) will have to calm down and then we sort it out. I find arguing really stressful.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I paid a lot of money for the worldwide image rights for Cantona.
Turned out to be Derek Cantona a road sweeper from Lyon.
(Cave Duck, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:32, Reply)

I once went to the chemist to pick up a prescription
but it turns out I hadn't ordered it. Hilarity ensued, Altzheimer's lols.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I got confused by something a girl said
Turns out she wanted help with her Biology GCSEs, and needed me to show her about 'insects'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:44, Reply)

but instead you taught her about arachnids?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I hope to God you're just being a prick
And that you got the joke.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:54, Reply)

there was a joke in there?
hmm.... so underage girl.. biology.... insects...

HOLD THE PHONE
insects sounds like incest!

HAHAHAHAHAHAH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE! like Bert! hahhah
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I thought he meant 'sex'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Watching you think and try to be funny
Is like watching a bunch of retards try to fuck a doorknob.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:00, Reply)

you're strangely aroused
yet repulsed?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:01, Reply)

I wrote something that was too mean even for me
so instead I'll give you a hug *hugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Ooo I'm intrigued
Gaz it to me!
*hugs*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:04, Reply)

'm intrigued need more reasons to cut myself
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:06, Reply)

cut myself drink gallons of spunk and get my stomach pumped

/marcalmondLOLZ
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:08, Reply)

And me!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:08, Reply)

You never write anymore

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I've been busy.
Stupid work. Stupid Mondays.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I once went to the chemist to pick up a prescription
but it turns out I hadn't ordered it. Hilarity ensued, Altzheimer's lols.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:47, Reply)

just bought a chapstick
since having a cold is not good. Sadly I bought the medicated one which stings and cools. It has the plus side of clearing my nose though.

BPOTD
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:48, Reply)

if you've got a cold
try those menthol tissues, they're awesome.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I bought some dental floss
as I was going to use it to take the crust off some Camembert. Sadly I bought minty rather than unflavoured and the whole thing went slightly wrong.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:51, Reply)

hahahaha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I once went to the chemist to pick up a prescription
but it turns out I hadn't ordered it. Hilarity ensued, Alzheimer's lols.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I once went to the chemist to pick up a prescription
but it turns out I hadn't ordered it. Hilarity ensued, Altzheimer's lols
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:01, Reply)

MY TIME MACHINE WORKS!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I once went to the chemist to pick up a prescription
but it turns out I hadn't ordered it. Hilarity ensued, Altzheimer's lols
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:05, Reply)

MY TIME MACHINE WORKS!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:06, Reply)

heh heh heh
My names Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I am SO addicted to that show it's not even funny

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

what's it about?
Is it one of those fake documentary style TV shows? I'm guessing from what you've been talking about so far, it's either that or it's like Cash In The Attic
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I thought the Insane Clown Posse were shit,
but it turns out that not only are they shit, they're also evangelical christians with what I can only assume are some fairly spectacular mental health problems. Which is nice.

Yeah, I know it's tenuous. And also not links. Fuck off.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I wish that article
had the comments section enabled. It would have been more amusing than the article itself.

They did come over as somewhat strange - even for Americans...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Magnets, man.
Who can explain fucking magnets?

Mongs.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I quite like that meme

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:17, Reply)

It's a shit meme for retards.
Sorry.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I thought it was funny
mostly because I don't get magnets.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

It annoyed me as the gist was
"I don't understand how magnets work, so let's believe in fairies".
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

That is really bizarre
they're quite alarming as people
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I'm curious.
Is Dismambered a reference to getting your tits cut off?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I went on a date when I was a teenager
with a lad from a group we used to hang out with. We lived in different towns and had been to the cinema in each town quite a lot as a group, so when he asked me to go to the cinema on a date, we both turned up at our own local cinema. I watched the film by myself and got hit on a lot by strangers. It was The Fast & The Furious as I recall.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:10, Reply)

at least you got to see a good film

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I loved it
best date I've ever been on, the company was second to none.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Something similar happened with Sherlock Holmes

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I liked that film
but there were bits where, if I wasn't staring at RDJ and imagining him naked, I probably would have been quite bored
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I quite liked it
and Jude Law is a much much better Watson than that waste of space in Sherlock- Martin Freeman I think
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:34, Reply)

That's brilliant
I bet the writers of various British sitcoms are feverishly taking notes.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:17, Reply)

my life is a sitcom
I almost slipped on a banana skin a while ago as well, so sometimes it's a cartoon
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Have you ever seen a dog run out of a butcher's shop with a string of sausages, followed by a fist-shaking butcher sporting a striped apron and straw hat?

(Cave Duck, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

ooh no, but once I was walking to the train station at about 7am
and two guys crossed the road carrying a sheet of glass in between them. I burst out laughing and they looked at me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

my client's tenant
who signed a lease obliging him to pay £10,000 a month rent. now somehow he understood that to mean "you don't have to pay anything but you can occupy the property for free". funny how many people make this exact same mistake.

anyway. a few months and court orders and initial begging phone calls about having no money and then screaming telephone calls about what a total bitch i am later, he has just coughed up the lot. plus costs. champagne at tonight's pub quiz then! sorry, this is completely irrelevant, i am just totally smug this afternoon. just need to tip out these squatters and i can retire...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:15, Reply)

10 grand?
Wow! Where is this??
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:16, Reply)

it's commercial
not resi! it's a slightly skanky shop with offices above in south east london.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:20, Reply)

You must have to bring in some turnover
to pay 10 grand rent a month!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Not if you don't pay the rent.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:22, Reply)

trudat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

oh no, not at all...
not for central london. the break option i am advising on now, if the tenant gets it wrong, they are on the hook for the next 10 years. at £2.37M a year, or the bargain price of £197,500 per month. needless to say, i am advising my client on how to ensure the tenant can't walk away if at all possible!

i have often wondered why major companies don't just buy their premises, but it is all to do with capital and balancesheets i think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

oochayafuckaya

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

works both ways
i'll act for tenants too to ensure they do get it right, whoever wants to pay me, i'm anybody's!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

*calls bank*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

*basks in the warm glow of monty's appreciation*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

.
appreciation cash
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

So do you charge extra if people want to verbally abuse you?
Does your work number start 0990?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Where am I?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:20, Reply)