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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What would you call your band?
Remembering that Stephen Merchant once saw a poster for a band with 'the least evocative and exciting name I have ever heard: "Loose Change" - I've wondered what I'd name my band. If I had one.

So, what would you call your band?

No points for the sixth-form special that is [Adjective] . My college had a great rivalry between Nuclear Monkey and Wonder Horse which absolutely nobody gave a shit about because they spent free periods and lunchtimes mangling the instrumental from Come As You Are over and over again, somehow, against all reason, getting worse every time...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:29, 117 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I like breasts

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)
The Men From Delmonte.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)
Fecal matter.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)
The question isn't that bad.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
I wouldn't fucking call it Dumber then the Average Bear
unfortunately now we are lumbered with it.

My old band was called Toaster. My current side-project is called The Red Squirrel / Grey Squirrel Scenario.

I have a few other names up my sleeve: Superfluous Bastard Alert and (inspired by one of our own) The Crackhouse Ceilidh Band
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)
Now I like you, man.
So I'm here to tell you that if you use the word "scenario" in a band name you will be dead to me. DEAD.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:34, Reply)
it's ok
it's mostly really self-indulgent instrumental prog-rock, it needs a stupid name. Me and my mate get together in his studio, get really stoned and piss about.

edit: the above will obviously make you want to hear it, so I will search for the link.

Everyone needs two 30-40 minute long pieces of stoned music in their lives
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)
Genghis Fuckpaws.
This also is the answer to "what would I call a cat if I got one?"
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)
I like that name for a cat.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)
friend of a friend had cats called Atari and Spatula
she was odd
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
We almost got cats from the shelter called Ronnie and Reggie.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Our cats were called Archimedes and Trotsky

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
if I had a cat I'd call it Megatron
or John
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
We have 4; Piper, Suselle, Burt and Ermintrude. Just don't ask...

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
I like Tickle and Tess :)

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
My cat's called Piper
after No Kiss For Mother
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Ours is named after Piper Heidsieck champagne
which is cheap piss. I wanted to call it Dom after Dom Perignon but was over-ruled.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
One of my father's favourite kids' books, and through default, mine.
Along with The 13 Clocks.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
Not familiar with either of these books

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Moody cat and a Prince whose name begins with X and Doesn't

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
Some friends call their cats after gins, which is interesting.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Gordon?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
plymouth, sapphire and hendricks last time I checked.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
did the third one fuck his sister... ?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
No we had his balls cut off. The cries of "fuck off Burt" are frequently heard around our flat though.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
I had one called Koshka for a bit
it's a piss-poor Russian joke, but it's better than "puss"
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
My mate's cat's called Koshka...

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
What's the joke?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
It's not really a "funny" joke
Koshka is russian for "cat"
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
I see : )

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
Similarly I have a friend whose cat is called Neko.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
KAWAIIIIIIIIIII!

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
Baka

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
we once had a cat called Bindi
which is apparently aborigine for cat.

Although it's entirely possible this was a lie promulgated by my mother.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)
When I was a kid we had a cat called Muriel. This embarrassed me greatly.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)
I had a cat called Cervantes after that chappie what wrote Don Quixote.
How's that for pretension.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Not the Pirate guy in the Soul Blade/Calibur series of games?
Damn.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
that was my thought :-)

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
Good man!
Best fighting game series there is.
Well, the one I'm best at
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
me too
*high fives*

not played in ages though
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
*high fives back*
I've got the last one, V, on the 360. It's fun, but the AI can be merciless at times.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
I only have a Wii these days
not great for beat-em-ups as far as I know.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
You can get a Mortal Kombat game
Where you use the motion things to do fatalities. We flailed around and managed to rip off an arm and beat them with it. We also managed decapitations and decockitations.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
that sounds quite good

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
I think I have 1 and 2 on the Dreamcast.
May have to dig them out at the weekend.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)
The dreamcast was awesome
Shame it died so miserably.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
I've also got Powerstone, TechRomancer and Dead or Alive.
Sega was always the best for fighting games.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
is Dead or Alive the one with the tits?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
Yes
Unashamedly so.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
I'm now calling my next cat
Mitsurugi.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)
you win.
I did call my last rescue dog "Poit Dbugh" mind you. She came called Pooch, and Poit was the only thing I could get her to respond to otherwise. Fucking glaswegian dogs. Who calls a Staffie with serious anger managment issues "Pooch"?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
My cat already had a name
what an age we live in
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
yes, but it's a cat.
It doesn't give a shit. You can call it anything you like.

anyway, that'll teach you to get a second-hand cat. Did you check it wasn't a cut'n'shut? Saw one once with the back half of a badger. Terrible business. Come apart like cheap furniture in an impact. Shocking.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
I was told it would be 12, 13 at the oldest
I get it home and check the paperwork...SEVENTEEN AND A HALF YEARS OLD!

Ah well Cateate Emptor
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
I like that for a band name
My Cat Already Has A Name
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
It's going to be the title of my autobiography
advance reviews have already labelled it, "Utter shit" and "Tedious from start to finish"
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)
Or Clunge Plungers, actually.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)
terrifying clungepiss.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)
That in itself
is a great name for a band.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
Gay Terry and the Clunge Hoovers

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)
The Monty Boyce Ragtime Funk Band
we'd do mostly Bowie covers
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)
The beatles

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)
Vermilion
We'd sing about dragons and swords and stuff and release a song about my girlfriend's cousin Wendel.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)
Nuclear Anal Lolocaust

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
this is worse than pub quizzes

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
that's a shit name

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
haha-wait
YOU'RE a shit name.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
so's your face

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
So's your mum

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
so's your mum's face

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Your mum's isn't.
She fine.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
true

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
I don't know about the band name,
but thanks to boingboing I'd like my first album to be called Naked Lawyer Vision Quest Dildo Party. SFW, oddly enough.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
that is a superb album name

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
LoL moment at the weak joke at the end.
Thanks
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)
Trotsky's Icepick

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
The Crack House Ceilidh Band.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
hey, I'm baggsying that!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
oh hai!
Just to let you know I LOL'd massively the other day so thanks!
love
The most awesome person in the world
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
You talkin' bout what came through the post?
Bloody brilliant! I actually laughed out loud too!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Yay!
TGB ordered us to call her "The Most Awesome person In the World" and we were happy to oblige.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 17:06, Reply)
Various Artists.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
Now =(x+1)

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
When I went to my first festival
I thought Special Guests was the name of a band.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)
You Deacon.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)
When I'm DJing and someone asks me what a song is
but I can't remember I tell them it's by The Compilations.

How fucking hilarious am I?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)
'The White Labels' works too.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)
I've always liked "Peaceful Revolutions"
Although seeing as I have the musical talent of Stephen Hawking, I doubt I'll ever be able to start a band at all
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
"Plausible Deniability" is one I've always liked
Or "Pyrrhic Victory".
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
both gay

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
I concur
too hard to spell and pronounce for the retards too.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
wolf pussy

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)
The Wolf Baggers?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

wolf Tea
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)
You called me that when I was talking (typing) all gangsta' n shit

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
didn't call you that, just your crap gangsta chat innit

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)
No worries, I wasn't insulted
and the online dictionary has quite a different explanation of the term
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
I knooooooow
my friends and I took it from a stand up comic, Nick Swarsdon, whenever you don't like something it's wolf pussy
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)
A supergroup formed from the remains of Wolfmother and Nashville Pussy?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)
The Iron Dukes
seeing as 'Anal Cunt' has already gone.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)
Will you be covering "These boots were made for walking"?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
Only after they've mastered "Dancing in the street"

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
Very good!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
Peninsularlols.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:17, Reply)
Crimea River?

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 23:28, Reply)
My friends were in a fake band called the Yellow Bentines or the Yellow Benzines
but neither of them could remember which it was so they fake broke up.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
then what happened?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)
I know, that was super exciting wasn't it
I even though "this is dull" as I typed it. Maybe you should start an internet hate campaign against me. I'll send you my stand up video later.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)
Have you been secretly sending loving gazes to piston?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)
She is Piston

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)
ffs it's going to be the worst bash ever.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)
Hence the rubber sheets, right?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
Gingham Bloodbath
It is a faux German electro duo (Rammstein meets Suicide). We even have potential names; Helmut Goebbler and Hans Pfister.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)
'Helmut Goebbler' is inspired.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
those are all sensational choices
I salute you
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)
The Ashington Answer.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 12 Oct 2010, 16:58, Reply)

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