good office pranks needed
It's my last day at work on Thursday. What insane pranks can I play seeing as I can't be arsed to do too much work?

ALT Q:Can I have the winning numbers for the Saturday's lottery please?

EDIT : Sorry Monty...didn't see you there...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:17, 63 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Do you have admin access to any pc's?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:19, Reply)

No but .....
nobody bothers to lock their monitors before buggering off. I think some upside down trickery could be in order.......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Change their mice to left handed then.
That's really annoying.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

That's I'm
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:01, Reply)

I clicked this

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Get some anthrax
And post it to you boss.

That one always get a laugh, and your old colleagues will probably get the afternoon off work.*

*Or die.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Stick it to the man
steal a pen
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:19, Reply)

top deck
the office toilets
( zulu eh?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Leaving a can of shandy in the toilets
Is hardly Beadle territory.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:21, Reply)

POTD
I've actually gone pink and cried slightly trying not to officelol.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:23, Reply)

That's two POTD awards in a row!
You going purple and crying is how I imagine you wake up after a Saturday night of MD.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:26, Reply)

It's what happens to my knob when I watch horse porn.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Well don't watch horse porn then.
Evening if it is your favourite of all the porns.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Evening to you too Jeff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:56, Reply)

beat me to it!
oh cisternlols!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Burn the place down with everyone in it.
Alt: 6, 12 , 65, 19, 4 & 5

No problem Dozza, I'm used to your CHRONIC RUDENESS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:24, Reply)

now now Monty this isn't A Serious Answer
you'll upset PC.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:30, Reply)

It'll be 'PC gone mad' if I'm not careful.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

You've been waiting to say that for a while haven't you?
/you around saturday? I'm in london again friday night.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I reckon I am - do get in touch.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Tayaabs do lunch?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

They open mid-afternoon I think.
I shall investigate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:56, Reply)

of my time me to and
well that was less than successful
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Oh gosh, I think you've made a terrible mistake, she was reffering to the british lottery and not some other crazy one that has numbers that goes up to 65.
It's OK though, not the end of the world, if you could just tell me what lottery you're reffering too and I'll buy the ticket.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

WELL!
if you really find me chronically rude, at the very least I should apologise halfheartedly...so like soz, yeah?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

No office pranks
For the last day, you should buy cupcakes (better from Kitty)

Alt Q: No, I go first.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

yes I like this
go out on a fluffeh.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:30, Reply)

lovely idea
BUT I am redundant and hence too tight to spend the money!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Then
Buy a pack of 100 chewing gums for everybody.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Dirty protest
obviously
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Poo in the photocopier.
Alt: π, e^-iπ, h, and I can't be arsed to think of any others.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Do a comedy Virginia Tech re-enactment.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

GO CHO!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

What
the shuddering feck is that??
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Ask your boyfriend.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

not asking him anything
he has cancelled tonights dinner as he feels ill but I bet he still manages a couple of pints of the blackstuff.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:51, Reply)

no but
my brother the statistician assures me you are better choosing numbers in the late 30's and 40's.

which is funny, as most men seem to prefer numbers in the late teens and early 20's, but there you go.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

You really are bitter aren't you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

NO
I AM NOWHERE NEAR MY LATE 30'S OR 40'S THANK YOU VERY MUCH, WHATEVER MY PICTURE MIGHT LOOK LIKE.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

So why are you het-up about
numbers in the teens and early twenties?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:43, Reply)

dunno
it was a tongue in cheek throwaway remark that does not stand up to any analysis, never mind this kind of spotlight
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Sorry.
As you were.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:48, Reply)

it's too late
everyone's looking.

Everyone.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:50, Reply)

TIC TOK TIC TOK goes the biological clock.
/ac

Best just shack up with some interstranger.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:50, Reply)

The stranger the better...

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:56, Reply)

she's come to the right place then

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:02, Reply)

bitter old
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

At the risk of asking...
shirley all the numbers have an equal 1:49 probability of being chosen?

Shirley?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

It's to do with the return on investment
due to few people choosing those number so more likely to get a big payout.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

well that shut me up

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:43, Reply)

it's because
most people pick their/loved ones' birthdays. as noone has a birthday past 31, anything from there upwards means you are no more likely to win, but will get a bigger slice of the cake if you do, as there will be fewer winners.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

There was a lottery simulator on the newsletter a while back
I lost THOUSANDS
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)

that's like suicide lotto isn't it
pick the numbers, don't buy a ticket.

i think i have won a quid on every instants i have ever bought. a lousy quid. i have never ever bothered cashing any of them back in!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:45, Reply)

I tried buying a lottery ticket a few years back as I was having a good day and felt lucky
I was baffled by all the different games so didn't bother. Instead I chose some numbers and you'll never guess what!!

None of them were picked.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:53, Reply)

one day
I bought a lottery ticket. It was Grand National day so I also had a little flutter on the horse with the prettiest face. The up to the 'Stow for some dog-racing. Lost £70 that day.......scampi was nice though.......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:53, Reply)

That's because they're hotter
than you.
( Kroney, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Break wind loudly at every desk

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Maybe she already does that?
They might even set their clocks by it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Jeff
Do you work in my office??
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Take a gun in with you and kill the people that you don't like
the winning numbers are 12, 17, 23, 24, 38 and 40
( Peej, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Crawl into the air conditioning system...
...and move around making loud 'wakka-wakka-wakka' sounds. At each intersection or turning leave a small pile of vomit. When you get caught and asked to come down, make the sound of a pacman dying then gather your belongings and leave without saying a word to anyone. (Other than making more 'wakka-wakka-wakka' sounds as you are escourted from the building.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:01, Reply)

This is very good.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:12, Reply)

On my last day in recruitment. I went round to everyones desk who had photoes of their family
and covered up all the ugly childrens faces with cutout batman masks.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:07, Reply)