I see your JLS jonnies and raise you Twilight dildos
the Jacob one is brown and the Edward one is really pale. With glitter.

Fo' serious.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:07, 7 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

ew

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Are they like those arse/face towels?
One brown and one pale wet looking one?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)

that's unpleasant.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)

As opposed to a Twilight dildo??
My, I have improved
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Kitties don't like poop jokes!!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)

It was more so you didnt mix them up!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)

I would buy them for my mate who loves Twilight
if you know it wasn't massivley innapropriate.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

everyone loves a gag gift.
I mean joke, not like your normal gag gifts.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Yeah she'll probably call me a cunt and hit me with the dildo.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)

the only thing worse than your dildo being found
would be when someone realised it was a twilight dildo
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I would enjoy you having to go to hospital with a twilight dildo lodged in your ear.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 17:03, Reply)

No .. no .. that's "AURAL" sex...

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 17:15, Reply)

well at least it's relevent to the original idea
of the book. Just needs more domestic violence
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

domestic violence stupendously piss-poor writing
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Oh dear god
tell me this isn't true.
(berk, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

This is totally true
I'll see if I can find the link. It won't be safe for work though obv.

EDIT: Ok I can't find it and I'm a bit conscious of doing too many "vampire dildo" related google searches.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)

It's Twilight
It's not fucking safe for anything.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Syntax error
You've put 'fucking' in the wrong part of the sentence.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I feel, sir.
that in that particular sentence, the word "fucking" can be placed more or less anywhere without unduly affecting the meaning.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)

A good point, sir, a good point
I might even go so far as to prefix just about every word there with 'fucking.'
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Indeed. Better to be safe than sorry, here, I think.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

I've found
a picture of the condom and wrapper but no mention of colour or twinklyness.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)

ok I've kind of found a link although it's only to the vamp one, not the werewolf one too
www.toplessrobot.com/2009/08/battle_of_the_insanely_awful_twilight_merchandise.php

And there's a bonus picture of an Edward cutout that you can stick to the wall.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

That's why bobby likes pressing his face against the walls.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Better Edward
than Edmund, I suppose...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Oh, man.
Totally loving the idea of trying to explain that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)

"It was for lolz, I promise!"
they already think I'm a goth.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

You ARE a goth

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

you're a goth
I'm a vanilla goth.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

are you a goth?
If I leave the M6 at around Junction 26-28, head towards the nearest market town, aiming to arrive in the town square around twilight, will I find you by the war memorial drinking cider?

/obscure and probably rubbish reference
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

not really
I'm 25, I've kind of grown out of it *looks at Labs*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)

and it's ok I get the reference
in my town it was "hanging out by the sculptures on Church Street drinking cider"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

God they're SO STUPID!
I cannot fathom HOW they can have made such a STUPID error.

They just don't understand you or your music.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)

It's ok Monty,
I'll put it into my poetry and talk to my friends on WoW. They can't hurt me on WoW. Unless they've managed to get the Amulet of Ryzantor!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Or the +17 Cracked Elven Frying Pan of Greater Spanging
*doesn't understand WoW*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:33, Reply)

*pisses pants*
You're on fire this week. More please.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)

*sells pants to japanese business man*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I think you mean this
www.wowarmory.com/item-info.xml?i=22327
and it's only iLevel 63, do you think I'm some sort of noob?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)

I swear, I read that as "Amulet of the Retarded" for a brief moment
It was a glorious moment, truly. I shall not see its like again.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:58, Reply)

Really
Find me a link!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)

can't you buy pants with edward cullen's face on them?
he's not even fit!

and how much would it freak out any bloke if you were kissing hard and passionately and he inched his hands up your thighs and skirt - only to find you had THAT emblazoned across your muff!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)

To be honest,
most blokes would carry on if they got that far anyway!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)

really, can this be true?
anyone?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Well, it beats finding a bear trap....

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)

riiiiiiiiiiight
so you are just about to sink your five six seven eight inches of angry gristle somewhere and then you see the final barrier is that. and it doesn't make it wilt at all?

blimey.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

remember, these are internet boys
they have to be grateful for what they can get
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)

It would certainly topple my 'tower of Babel,'
though it would be slightly less alarming than something designed to catch the pedipalps of large, wild mammals.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)

if you really loved me
nothing would put you off
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)

But of course.
I'll be sure to bring my boltcutters and a picture of Christina Hendricks so I can deal with any unexpected traps around your...erm...'trap.'
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)