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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Our dear pal Battered has committed B3ta hara-kiri and is effectively no longer of this parish.

He has his reasons, not least that he was wasting way too much time on here, something I fully understand.

Those of us who were going to his house for lunch this Sunday...errr....aren't.

MESSAGE ENDS
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 8:57, 131 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Erm, what?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 8:58, Reply)
I always thought he was a wanker

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 8:58, Reply)
/ac

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:00, Reply)
I always thought YOU were a wanker

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:01, Reply)
*wanks*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:03, Reply)
*joins in*

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:14, Reply)
*reaches around*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:20, Reply)
Shame, he was a top bloke.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 8:58, Reply)
that's a shame
tell him we'll miss him.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:00, Reply)
how odd
has it been somehow VERBOTEN?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:02, Reply)
he's self employed so he's probably verboting himself.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:05, Reply)
has he got another half?
I can see it going like this "hey darling some people from the internet are coming for lunch on Sunday"
"no they fucking well aren't! I don't want you talking to them anymore. You spastic"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:10, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:12, Reply)
This is a good point
I can understand not going on here anymore if you're busy, but uninviting previously invited guests is going a bit far.

Unless they accidentally invited a retard and this is a good reason to stop them coming.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:15, Reply)
I am that retard.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:18, Reply)
yeah I didn't get the uninvitation
so he doesn't want to waste his time on b3ta, fair enough, but why does that mean the end to all b3tan based friendships.

Unless it's just about you Monty, maybe he's afraid you'll turn him back into a coke fiend.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:26, Reply)

coke chutney
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:31, Reply)
I didn't even get an invitation.
I don't care though while you people are eating your sinful lunch, I'll be in Church.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:31, Reply)
They hold rape tutorials in a church?
How unusual.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:33, Reply)
Even worse a... Christening.
The church is next to a pub though, so we'll go there afterwards.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:33, Reply)
I assumed you meant Church, the awful club near Kings Cross which is full of Auzzies, Kiwis and Saffers

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:36, Reply)
I've heard of that,
sound awful but I kind of want to go to see what it's like.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:37, Reply)
I assumed you meant Charlotte Church.

(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:40, Reply)
i used to go there on a sunday morning
when the ministry or wherever was cool back when i was an 18 year old student (or "the 90's" as we old-timers called it then) kicked us out.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)
Bets on the child screaming their head off all the way through the service?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)
Nah he's a really chilled out baby,
he's ok really.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:42, Reply)
I always find it odd when someone finds it necessary to announce their departure from an internet forum.
Although if you've read his posts of the last couple of days, particularly in regard to his mother, then you could see how he might feel the need to give himself some space to take stock and work things through.
Best wishes to him.
(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:32, Reply)
No your mother.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:33, Reply)
I have been completely oblivious to any mention of his mother

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:34, Reply)
No your mother.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:34, Reply)
That's because you're excited about tar barrels to the exclusion of all else.

(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:36, Reply)
And his mother
he walked in on her having a wee and he hasn't been able to get rid of his erection since.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:37, Reply)
the gist is that his mum is evil
and it was her birthday yesterday. She wants to get back in contact, he wants her to burn in hell.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:37, Reply)
I see
do you suppose she has got in touch and has now forbidden him from using b3ta?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:39, Reply)
who?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:03, Reply)
Flounce! Drama! Action!

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:03, Reply)
That's a shame.
I liked him.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:07, Reply)
What a pity
He was a good guy, and very funny. If you talk to him send regards and big kisses.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:17, Reply)
So, what's the inside story Monty?
*points microphone*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:22, Reply)
He's had enough, basically.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:33, Reply)
I hope my comment about small business and responsibility
Didn't upset him. How are you mr Boyce?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:37, Reply)
Fucking cream creackered.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)
All kicked off at Ross noble last night some tit made a heckle
About his dead dad. Was a bit weird. You would have liked it.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:40, Reply)
Was Nurble upset?
I do hope so.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:41, Reply)
Visibly shaken to be honest he offered the bloke out onstage.
To be fair he pulled it back but was furious. He made some hilarious Nazi jokes
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:43, Reply)
Which would have led to Monty offering him out.

(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:47, Reply)
I can't imagine monty scrapping, duelling yes, scrapping no.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:51, Reply)
Well that's just being a prick
What did he say?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:53, Reply)
Noble started a joke about his dads wheelchair, and said that he had
Died two months ago and some twat shouted 'good'
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)
Prick

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:01, Reply)
Yup

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:03, Reply)
Was it he who ignored Kristine last night?
I forget.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:37, Reply)
WHAT!?
Someone ignored Kristine? Why would anyone do that?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:39, Reply)
She made innocuous comment
He over-reacted. She told him he was being a cock. He reacted some more. She said something else. He ignored her. She celebrated her first ignore.

Or just read this here.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:41, Reply)
KRISTINE BULLIES PEOPLE OFF THE BOARD THE BITCH!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:47, Reply)
I really don't understand how he managed to get upset by that comment

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:49, Reply)
More often than that it's little things like that
which cause the biggest arguments.

If kristine had called him a cunt nothing would have happened.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:51, Reply)
But she didn't call him anything
Actually her comment, in relation to the OP doesn't make a huge amount of sense, but it's still nothing to get upset about.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:52, Reply)
I think there was probably some heart to heart nonsense
going on above which has since been deleted.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:53, Reply)
What a Gaybo

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:56, Reply)
It was MOIDER?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)
and Scully?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:58, Reply)
You insensitive shit

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:52, Reply)
YOU FUCKING SHITIST!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:52, Reply)
Christ
Is this place turning into a soap opera?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:40, Reply)
You can't ignore the k Swiss?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:40, Reply)
no it was iav'nsbahga[jyk'rgnr'wfaweb
wasn't it?
(TheColonel, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:41, Reply)
you fool

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:42, Reply)
ris?
My mistake, it was lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih,
(TheColonel, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:45, Reply)
*head in hands*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:47, Reply)
Still unsure as you what you are implying

(TheColonel, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:49, Reply)
nothing really
I wasn't sure if you were making a joke or not, because battered changed his name to the gibberish
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:51, Reply)
Ahh right, I missed that incident.
Cheers
(TheColonel, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:54, Reply)
Battered changed his name to that

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:52, Reply)
I would assume he did it so he can't log on again.
Unless he wrote it down.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:53, Reply)
or is relying on autofill

(TheColonel, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:55, Reply)
Or copied and pasted it from the board
but then maybe he scrambled his password, typed gobbledegook into a word file and copied and pasted it into the password box
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:58, Reply)
Well, his profile is deleted anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)
yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:00, Reply)
if you click to view his profile it says he no longer exists
maybe he never did....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)
OMG! Did I meet a ghost!?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:01, Reply)
that's the only logical explanation

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:09, Reply)
I've just noticed he's removed me from facebook as well

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:12, Reply)
OH NOES!

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:13, Reply)
Again - What a Gaybo

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:13, Reply)
Someone removed me from facebook after I was mean to them on here.
I was DEVASTATED.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:15, Reply)
You've done it to others

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:26, Reply)
how very odd

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:16, Reply)
is that because you looked specifically?
can't see how anyone ever notices a facebook binning if they have upwards of 5 friends!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:18, Reply)
She was stalking him
And suddenly lost access to all his information.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:20, Reply)
if she were a proper stalker
she'd already have saved them on her computer somewhere
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:30, Reply)
I'm just going to assume that she has murdered him already

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:31, Reply)
Yeah me to.
Oh well, he didn't have any pictures of him in a bikini anyway.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:20, Reply)
I assume that'll be me as well

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:27, Reply)
He's implying that you are something of a simpleton.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:53, Reply)
The Mayor of Simpleton
/xtc
(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:54, Reply)
The Colonel of Simpleton to you

(TheColonel, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:55, Reply)
Who sung this?

(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)
You're thinking of The Power of Love by Huey Lewis & The News

(TheColonel, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:04, Reply)
don't need no credit card to ride this train

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:07, Reply)
"It's strictly cash only to avoid the 2.5% handling charge"
Was the originally the next line, but it didn't scan too well.
(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:14, Reply)
Ah yes, or was it Jennifer Rush?

(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:07, Reply)
It was Frankie Goes to Hollywood

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:09, Reply)
And they all charted in the same year if I remember correctly.

(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:12, Reply)
Shame
I liked the fella. I wish him all the best.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:41, Reply)
more importantly though
why do I have a Snoop Dogg song stuck in my head?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:42, Reply)
Because you're all about the izzle bizzle
fo' shizzle
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:44, Reply)
Yes that'll be it.

(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)
how could I forget?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:47, Reply)
Tar barrels.

(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)
Fork 'andles

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:50, Reply)
That's a bit gay
I really liked him.

Oh well. Now I have Sunday free,do any London based b3tans want to massage me with oils?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)
Not especially, if I'm honest.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)
How about a nice cold pint

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:06, Reply)
Sounds rather better.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:15, Reply)
With oil?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:17, Reply)
I think the fact
you really liked him is a bit gay.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)
If you went you'd get an equally pleasant eulogy
because I really like you too Chompers.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:07, Reply)
Me but only if it's crude oil.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:50, Reply)
Does it say "TITS" and "COCK" all the time?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:51, Reply)
Yeah! how did you know?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:52, Reply)
sorry
i was going to the cinema and then for dinner in wimbledon on sunday, but just got cancelled, so took up option two, which is going out in streatham. but i'll pencil you in as option 3 if you like?

try your zombie cheerleader, you can warm up on her!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)
What about the bits from 8-5?
Zombie Cheerleader isn't texting me back. I told her that we should "go for fish south of the river" and I think she got the wrong end of the stick.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:08, Reply)
hahahahahahaha
*inhales*

ahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:11, Reply)
hahahahahahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:13, Reply)
oh himjim
next time run your saucy texts past me, i will edit them for genuine sexiness before you are allowed to send them out.

and i won't sabotage them AT ALL.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:17, Reply)
oh HELLO

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:11, Reply)
Finally, a serious oils
comment.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:14, Reply)
oil be damned.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:16, Reply)
Is this a cleaning
booking? It's good that it's Sunday because Friday-Sat I am filthy.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:18, Reply)
I'll talk to the fellow creatures
but yes, this could be done.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:19, Reply)
Always in our hearts

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:12, Reply)
Wiv de anglez

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:14, Reply)
I kinda saw that coming.
He snapped at me a couple of days ago, and yesterday he just seemed plain unhappy. Good luck to him.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 11:06, Reply)

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