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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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A giraffe is a fucking miracle.
It has a dinosaur-like neck. It's yellow. Yeah, technically an elephant is not a miracle. Technically. They've been here for hundreds of years…
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:04, 105 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Where's my car?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)
i read that as
'i've already done this thread, but i'm having another go in case i might be funny'
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:06, Reply)
this is shit monty
if you are annoyed at work go and have an angerwank
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:08, Reply)
Done.
Still annoyed. Any other tips?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:19, Reply)
Punch your girlfriend so she dumps you
and starts hanging around with us again instead of spending all her time riding you.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:21, Reply)
I have a feeling she'd punch back and harder.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:25, Reply)
Yeah I no
I'd like to hear that Monty got punched RIGHT IN THE FACE
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:25, Reply)
Noooooooo! not the face.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:27, Reply)
I do not approve of this sort of thing.
I'm worried it might catch on.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:38, Reply)
It's not looking too good from where I'm sat, either.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:41, Reply)
I'd take a face-punching from your missus any day of the week.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:00, Reply)
I'll arrange it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:02, Reply)
Hurrah!
I'm not having you getting involved though, you can watch if you want but that's it.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:19, Reply)
Don't worry wookie.
I'll keep him busy.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:28, Reply)
What about from Monty's co-star?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:31, Reply)
Eh what?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:41, Reply)
Giraffes also make good
lightning conductors.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:09, Reply)
Only damp ones.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:11, Reply)
you mean like vandergiraffe generators?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:28, Reply)
STANDING OVATION

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:28, Reply)
today I got a round of applause from all my students
for how awesome my pun was :D
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:29, Reply)
What pun was it?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:31, Reply)
it was a visual thing and you have to remember they are forensics students
there was some salt packets left in the room, and I was changing batteries in a camera

wanna guess the rest?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:32, Reply)
Assault and Battery?

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:42, Reply)
WINNA!
yeah, they all laughed, then started clapping. Perhaps even for a bit too long, so I took a bow
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:44, Reply)
Giraffes are ace though.
They don't even lay down to give birth.
Every giraffe's life begins with a four foot drop from the womb onto floor - no namby-pamby birthing pools.

Giraffes = Hard cunts.
(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:11, Reply)
Rhinos are hard.
Giraffes are just gay.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:14, Reply)
Fuck off

(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:17, Reply)
I'll set my rhino on you.
Duck face,
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:19, Reply)
A giraffe pulling it's tongue out at a short arse rhino earlier today

(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:21, Reply)
Broken link is broken

(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:21, Reply)
Probably done by a gay giraffe.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:22, Reply)
Really? I can see it fine in good ole Internet Explorer..

(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:23, Reply)
I can't

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:24, Reply)
I see redex

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:25, Reply)
I see dead people.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:25, Reply)
oh god!
I've been slobbered on my a giraffe
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:32, Reply)
If Rhinos are hard
why do they need all that armour?
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:31, Reply)
Part of the whole package.
Which animal is hard (or stupid) enough to upturn a Land Rover?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:39, Reply)
I hate giraffes
they ruined evolution for me.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:13, Reply)
How did giraffes ruin evolution for you?
It's not like you were born with a very long neck.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:18, Reply)
We spent ages studying them when doing biology for evolution.
I struggled with it initially and now hate giraffes.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:23, Reply)
You had better get a job in church school when you qualify.
You won't be troubled by that pesky evolution problem then.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:26, Reply)
Ha, now there's a solution.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:30, Reply)
I have a friend who is attracted to giraffes.
He genuinely thinks they're sexy.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:29, Reply)
Steer clear of that fucker then

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:32, Reply)
Why?
I'm not a giraffe.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:35, Reply)
A salient point if ever I saw one.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:36, Reply)
That half of a philosophy degree I did comes in useful every now and again.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:48, Reply)
It's a strong indicator that he's tapped in the head
Who knows what other fetish areas interest him
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:37, Reply)
Yes, that's right, he's a fucking peedo

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:38, Reply)
What is the age of consent for giraffes?

(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:39, Reply)
The internet tells me that they become sexually active between 3.5 to 4.5 years
I can neither confirm nor deny this
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:45, Reply)
Only if he fancies baby giraffes.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:40, Reply)
He's not going mounting a grown one
Everything over 6 months and they're yesterdays news, filthy noncing
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:41, Reply)
Have you never heard of ladders?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:55, Reply)
*tsk*tsk* it's all about the radius of the bumhole innit
Also, how the fuck would the man achieve a reach around on an adult
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:59, Reply)
If you want something enough you get round the obstacles.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:00, Reply)
Proof, if it were needed, that all stilt walkers are filthy giraffe-fancying flibbertygibbets.

(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:00, Reply)
I think I may have a friend he would like.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:34, Reply)
"Everyone loves a slinky"
"GO SLINKY GO!"

Ha! Forrins. When will they realise that their customs are silly?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:36, Reply)
It's those Claire's Accesories necklaces.
They're so cheap that you can't just buy one.
(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:36, Reply)
YOU WOULD KNOW!
trannylols
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:39, Reply)
I bet she has problems going through airport security.
Y'know, cos she's a bit dusky
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:38, Reply)
*full muttley laugh*

(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:41, Reply)
Racist

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:42, Reply)
Cuh, I was laughing IRONICLY.
Could you not tell bty the intonation of my typing?
(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:52, Reply)
This isn't even my desk
*hangs up the internet*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:58, Reply)
Do you know how magnets work?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:44, Reply)
I've been told it's not funny Lampers.
I'm embarrassed and ashamed. I wish I'd started a thread about the merits of different kinds of batteries or something now. Then everything would be alright.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:48, Reply)
Hang your head in shame.
It's also well old news.

How was your day, gorgeous?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:51, Reply)
Shit and dull.
I slept very badly and have consequently been in a shit all day. One of my staff is pissing me off hugely, my ex is being a spastic and I am stony broke.

HOW ARE YOU, THOUGH?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:58, Reply)
I'm not too bad thanks :)
Sorry to hear about your shittery. Hope it inproves and that people are being nice to you :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:02, Reply)
Putting my tongue across both poles of a 6V battery is as close as I get to doing MASSIVE DRUGS.

(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:54, Reply)
I've never licked a battery. What happens?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:55, Reply)
I haven't actually done it since I was about six.
But it was just a metallic tinging in the tongue as I remember.

Careful though, they might use extra strong volts in batteries these days
(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:03, Reply)
I think I'll be fine?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:04, Reply)
Yes, I do. I've explained it before.
b3ta.com/talk/6845420
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:51, Reply)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Cotton Candy
Hey hey
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:49, Reply)
giraffes are fucking awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:56, Reply)
It's official then.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:57, Reply)
ARE YOU TELLING ME I WAS THE DECIDING VOTE?!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:02, Reply)
I AM SAYING YOUR WORD IS LAW!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:02, Reply)
YOU ARE NOW MY SECOND IN COMMAND!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:06, Reply)
Blousie only said that because she feared you'd bully her.
Also, does this now make you the boss of her?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:09, Reply)
well yeah, but she's the boss of all of you, next to me
I'm like the don and she's the underboss
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:13, Reply)
I don't care.
I'm not letting you boss me!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:21, Reply)
No-one bullies me.............NO-ONE.
Apart from Kristine.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:27, Reply)
Don't you oppress me.
Ni!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:29, Reply)
I thinks we needs to have a talk with this Jeff guy. Whats yous thinks, BGB?
I'll bring da baseball bats.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:31, Reply)
I'll bring the condoms.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:33, Reply)
He's going to get the beating of his LIFE.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:34, Reply)
HELL YEAH!
Love you really Jeff.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:35, Reply)
How much is this going to cost me K?
Getting beaten by 2 women isn't my number 1 fetish, but I'll give anything a go once.

As long as it's not too expensive of course.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:42, Reply)
did you know that getting "beat" means to have sex?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:50, Reply)
Clearly it doesn't.
Well, not if you speak ENGLISH. :)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:57, Reply)
Are the condoms to cover the baseball bat with
So I don't get any nasty illness from the blood that is already on the bay from your previous quests to dole out JUSTICE?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:43, Reply)
Yup!
What did you think we were going to do with them silly boy.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:46, Reply)
Put them on your hands so you don't leave finger prints.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:49, Reply)
Giraffes are rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:05, Reply)
What is the point in them eh?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:09, Reply)
it's at the top of their head

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:15, Reply)
Ba-dum-tsh!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:19, Reply)
no point
no point at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:16, Reply)
What are you cooking this evening Amberl?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:30, Reply)

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