PsycoChomp post has made me think
that I don't want his thread to get 200 replies. So new one.

No, really, it's made me think that, when I came to England, as no one knew me, I could be exactly as I wanted, without having friends adding tags to you because of something you did once when you were a little one (you know, that day that you didn't lend your friend some money and you became the tight one, even when after that you've been lending money to everybody...)

So if you had the chance to start from the begining, in a new place, new people, new job... how would you like to show yourself? do you think it'd work or after a while it would be the same again?

EDIT: It seems I haven't explained myself properly. It's not about changing, you are who you are. It's about in which boxes you've been put by your friends or the people who knows you for a lont time, like all my family thinking that I'm super shy, but I know I'm not, but they would get in my way trying to help me, so when I moved to England I finally could show myself as I am.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:07, 170 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

"people never change
or rather, they do, but then they quickly change back"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Yes, but what if
You're not really changing, but you have the opportunity to really show who you are.

After a time of me wanting to do a couple of things and insisting on it, I got to be "the organizer". I was so embarrased, I wouldn't proposed to do anything at all, and even like that, I'd get to be called "the organizer" all the time.

Then I moved to England. Nobody knew anything about me, I could be as I was again. It was the best feeling of freedom I've ever had.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Out of interest
Why did you move to England?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:13, Reply)

To practise my English for 6 months
Then I had time to compare the job world here and in Spain, and decided that no way I was going to let another boss to fuck me up as they do in my country, for much that I miss the weather.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Are Spanish employers rubbish then?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Quite
It always depends on the job, of course, but in general, unemployment is so high that if you complain about anything, you're fired. People would kill each other for staff positions, but companies only want contracts, so they can fire you when they want. You get paid 1000€/month and you call yourself lucky. And you're expected to work overtime and weekends for free.

Not very good.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Is the minimum wage a lot lower in Spain?
(And if it is, does the cost of living reflect that?)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I think it's 800€/month or less
food and going out is cheaper than here, but houses aren't. People share flats or live with their parents until they're well in their 30s. Mortages are tipically for at least 50 years, but usually it's more than that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)

The average wage is something dreadful like E750/mo
I half-arsedly thought about moving there once. Food is a bit cheaper, I guess, and alcohol is. Petrol is the same. Can't say about rent. Either way, it doesn't sound so great over there to be honest.
(berk, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Rent in Madrid
is more expensive than Manchester, cheaper than London. My sister was paying 400€/month for a room in a flat shared with another 4 people (1 bathroom, 1 little kitchen) in Barcelona. At the end of the contract they were kicked out as the landlord could get 4 times the money but renting the flat to 4 FAMILIES.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)

so it really is a case of those already rich or with property can
price people out of the market and create slum conditions for people trying to do an honest days work?

Are you keen to move back?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:49, Reply)

It's what a newspaper had in an article recently
The parents of the baby-boom are making a hell for their own children. The fact that my parents generation could buy flats almost for free and that prices have gone up massively is making things very complicated for my generation.

I'll only move back if the conditions are good. I would go for a little lower salary than what I have here, but not much; and I'd do it because I know that if it doesn't work, I can always come back here.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:57, Reply)

It's as well a bit of a problem with Europe
Your salaries are much higher than theirs, so you (British, German, Scandinavian...) go there and buy a house without problems, making it more difficult for the locals, and putting prices up.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Which is very similar to people who buy second properties in places like Cornwall
As (and i don't know if the rules have changed), you only had to pay 50% council tax on a second home, meaning there was a lack on investment in public services down that way.

Is it getting increasingly popular for kids to Spain to want to work overseas?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:09, Reply)

No
People in Spain like to live as close as possible to their parents and never move away. They'll say no to better jobs because they're more than 20miles away from their village and therefore can't see their parents every day. That's another good thing for the employers.

I don't know about council taxes, I know that you get tax reduction in Spain if you're buying a house.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:19, Reply)

Whilst the sense of family is to be applauded
Surely you aren't alone in wanting to challenge yourself in a different country.

So do you think in English or Spanish these days?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:21, Reply)

I was asked that same question by the taxi driver today :)
Are you a taxi driver who wants to move to Turkey?

It depends. If it's work, English; I don't know half of the words in Spanish, and it sounds forced and unnatural. If I'm thinking of a conversation with an English person, usually English as well.

I hate the fact that I find myself thinking and swearing more and more in English, rather than in Spanish, specially if I'm drunk. It shouldn't happen. I'm looking forward to 4 months of Spanish only live.

And one of the things I hate most about most Spaniards (mainly old, but a lot of the young ones too) is how they believe that they live in the best place in the world (their little village, not the country) and would refuse to travel at all, as well, there's nothing better than this, is there? Stupid.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:29, Reply)

I'm sure if you had our weather it would be a bit different!
I'm not a cabbie who wants to move to Turkey sadly.

I've got a couple of French mates who after 3 or 4 years said that not only did they think in English, they also dreamt in English too.

How was your decision to relocate met? Were they 'don't go Aber' banners all over your village?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Hahaha
I imagine so, but even with good weather, English usually aren't affraid to travel their own country, and Spanish are.

I'm glad you're not him, he's a bit of a prick (you know, the British type who wants a house in sunny Turkey, but not learn the language or mix with the locals or anything...)

I've had a few dreams in English too. Since I broke up with my ex boyfriend I can spend days not speaking Spanish at all.

My friends and family didn't want me to go, but they thought it'd be for 6 months only. When I decided to stay, my friends took it as a betrayal (But, but... Tenerife is the best place in the world!!) so most of them don't talk to me anymore.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:37, Reply)

We are an island though.
So that limited where you can go without actually 'travelling'.

Plus there was that whole empire we used to have, the world is geared up for the British!

Shame your friends saw you having an exciting new life as a betrayal, have they been over to the UK to visit you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:40, Reply)

Not once
That's why I stopped caring when they'd meet me and tell me how bad I was being for different things (like not going to some of their parties and things like that)

Tenerife is just a tiny island. You can drive round it in 2h. There are plenty of things to do for a couple of months, as it's quite different and exciting, but that's about it. Telling me that it's the best place in the world without trying anything else is a bit silly.

We had a big empire as well... that doesn't seem to help them travel.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:45, Reply)

I've been to Tenerife a few times
Just on those god-awful package holidays, but what I've seen of it, it does look nice.

Maybe your friends are scared of what the alternatives are and don't want to challenge themselves?

Are your parents proud of you for having the balls to relocate?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:49, Reply)

My parents are proud that I've got the job I've got
and that I already earn more money than them... but parents are always proud,aren't them? They'd like me to come back, but try not to put too much pressure there.

My friends... they honestly believe what they say. I've seen it so many times. They get a lot of turists to tell them what a wonderful place Tenerife is, and they believe it, which is good, and don't feel like trying anything else. Then, if they get someone (like me) saying that yes, it's very nice, but there is this other place where... then I'm just jealous.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:56, Reply)

So is the grand plan to earn a good salary here and then buy a place in Tenerife
Just to prove a point?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:59, Reply)

Hahaha
I suppose I could do that, and then go only in winter, like all the tourists :)

No, not really. I stopped trying to convince them until a stupid conversation, in which I was describing all the beautiful things I was discovering in England: the lakes, the seasons, the green everywhere, the cows and sheeps running almost free. I said I loved the place, and it was just a pity that I couldn't see the sea from where I was, as I love it. Their answer to all my monologue about the beauties of England? "Yes, I know, you don't realise the good things in your life until you lose them"... WTF?

I'm going home now. It was lovely talking to you! Read you tomorrow!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 18:06, Reply)

I thought one of the points of the EU was to help countries clamp down on this sort of thing
Clearly not...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)

What can the EU do?
We have more than 25% unemployment. If your boss is awful and you complain, when your contract is over, you're off. Maybe in 2 or 3 years you'll win in the court, in the meantime, you have no money (which usually means you can't take them to court anyway)

My goverment is useless and base all the economy in turism... how is that ever going to work?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:35, Reply)

I'd stick to who I am
If people can't accept it, then they can go fuck themselves frankly. If I'm offensive, I'll apologise, but if people dislike me because of something simple I've said, or they've been offended by overhearing a joke that was nothing to do with them, then I hope they get raped to death by a rabid bull.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:09, Reply)

It's not that they dislike you
It's that they put you in that box, when you know you're not really like that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Tbh, the only reason I'm angry is because it makes me think back to 6th form
I was talking about my girlfriend at the time, who was 15, and I was 16. One of the people I got on with said "So, you're a dirty paedo then?" in a clearly jokey way, I confirmed it in the same manner.

For the next 4 months I couldn't go anywhere without being called a Paedo, I was chatting to one girl at youth group when she was dragged away by her sister, who warned her I was 'dangerous'. It turned out at a later date that she was the main one who'd been telling people, because 'it was only right that they knew what I was like', and it was her 'christian duty'.

I hope the bitch burns in hell to be honest.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:20, Reply)

*facepalms*
Some people require a remedial course in sarcasm and irony...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Frankly, this bitch deserves nothing but the forced removal of her lungs and larynx

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Through her ringpiece.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)

You see... this is what I meant. Thanks
That's really bad. I hope she burns before going to hell. And then in hell again.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Pondering on your old situation
I think the best solution would have been to take your petty and passive-aggressive revenge by going round warning everybody that this girl was a "pain in the arse" due to her being a "sanctimonious religious nob who was liable to wildly misinterpret people's sense of humour."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I think I'd generally be a bit more polite to people at first
but once I've got to know them, I'll be the same as I am now.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Also you spelt my name wrong
you... bitch
(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)

I'd use my super-powers for good rather than evil.
That would be it really.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Would you be looking after lost dogs
instead of having sex with them? That'd be nice.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:13, Reply)

It might be nice
But it'll NEVER happen!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Poor doggies...

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:19, Reply)

They love it!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:20, Reply)

So you say
Nobody else understand them
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:22, Reply)

I think I'd put some clothes on.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:11, Reply)

But why?
That's the best about you!

EDIT: And your hair.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:13, Reply)

"Nudity and peerless hair"?
Excellent, that's going on my CV...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I can't see you out of job for much longer
I'd hire you!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:19, Reply)

To be honest, sniffing around for jobs as I am / should be right now
one of the most depressing thoughts is that I'd probably have to get myself a socially acceptable haircut prior to any potential job interview...

(And put some clothes on, naturally)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Maybe...
I think as long as it looks tidy and clean, and doesn't cover your face, you'll be fine.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Perhaps. It's very hard to tell.
I could try and tie it back just for interview, which would obviously look awful but would be more temporary than if I had to grow it back afterwards.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:25, Reply)

You can tie it up with some nice colourful flowers
and pretty things. I'm sure you'd make an impression.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:29, Reply)

Surely not
you've met Enzyme, and Lab - all fairly serious jobs and not serious at all hair...
(berk, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:36, Reply)

This is a very good point.
And strangely reassuring. Thinking about it, if I don't have to deal directly with the public, I don't see why my hair should be an issue.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Even if you did
I don't see anything wrong with a guy having long hair, as long as it's clean and tidy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)

^ this
as long as you wash it, it's fine. I have no problems at all with the lass on the 5th floor who has pink hair, but many with the bloke who runs the FACS facility who has a greasy nicotine stained combover.
(berk, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Aj
I'd hate that. Maybe you should leave post-its in his desk telling him to wash.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:49, Reply)

My hair is DEADLY serious, Missy

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Have you heard back from the hippie mag?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Not directly.
I noticed the other day that they appear to have re-posted the advert for the job.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:25, Reply)

I take it that's bad? Sorry to hear that.
I'll keep my fingers crossed. If you ever fancy coming into the anal scene I'll hook you up with a talented producer.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Well, it suggests they either didn't receive any applications they deemed suitable for the job
Or they're opening up a second (similar) post. Wondering whether I should send them my application again.

Edit: My mistake - this will teach me to read the damn things properly - they're advertising for a social science editor for this one. (I applied for physical sciences) Therefore no, I just haven't heard back from them. But I think it's been over six weeks now so I suspect I won't. You said there was some work going on the anal scene...?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:29, Reply)

I'd see why they'd stagger the adverts- you wouldn't want to get thickos like you confusing the two and have a PHYSICIST in a SOCIAL SCIENCE area. That would never do.

Oh ho, as for the "openings", they're a little "small" and "tight", but I'm sure I could provide some "lubrication" in the right area and with the right person, and you'd sliiiiiiide right in!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:35, Reply)

I had a doctors appointment at lunchtime which I thought was just for blood tests.
I was therefore quite surprised whrn the nurse told me to go behind the curtain, strip to the waist and lie on the couch.

Mind you the tone in which she said "I meant from the top" as she came through the curtain suggested that I wasn't the only one to be surprised.
(Cave Duck, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:22, Reply)

I sincerely hope you responded with
"UNEXPECTED HELICOPTER!"
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:23, Reply)

If only I were that sharp.

(Cave Duck, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I would be the same.
can't be bothered to change, I'm fine.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:14, Reply)

You are only saying that because you copped off on the weekend!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I don't think I'd change.
I'd make a massive effort to be less skin-crawlingly irritating though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:14, Reply)

This puzzles me as you come across as being quite self-aware.
And always recount your (what might be considered) foibles with disarming candidness, charm and humour.
(Cave Duck, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I can't read people very well, and I often look back at what I say and die a little inside.
Most of my friends seem to like me, no matter what I do, so I'm happy enough. It's just my offdays I want to target.
But thank you.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I think we all do this when we change jobs, move house, start a new relationship, etc.
The idea of a clean slate is very appealing, even though we do tend to end up writing similar things on it.
(Cave Duck, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:17, Reply)

I've already changed a lot from when I moved last year.
Hard to believe it's been that long.

But I'm not entirely sure where I'd go. I think I'd like to just move along from city to city, country to country and see the world. Maybe that would change me into a new person. Wonder how much that would be....

per your edit: I think I show my real self to everyone I meet.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:20, Reply)

If you could pick a different country to live in what one would you choose?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I don't know. India.
Maybe.
I don't know.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:24, Reply)

You could go to India and get a job in a call centre.
There are loads of them out there.

The food would be first-class too.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Really?
I'd like to live in a small village.
Would they kick me out for being fat?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Loads of UK companies have outsourced their call centre operations to India
It means you can have a completely over-qualified individual who has studied hard all of their life to be a qualified doctor call you to see if you want to change your electricity supplier.

I can't imagine you'd be fat for long in India.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:30, Reply)

my only qualification is that I speak english

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)

If you like call centers and you like curry then maybe India is the place to be!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)

yay!

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I'm sure you'll sort that problem (if it really exists)
In a couple of months living there, while your stomach and inmune system gets use to all the viruses and bacterias.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:30, Reply)

awesome

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)

A couple friends of my parents
spent 2 months in India. He lost 20kg and she around 15; but just because they're stupid and wouldn't eat anything that didn't look like steak and chips.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)

hahahaha
I'll be the first to admit I know nothing about any other countrys culture, but if it didn't look like bugs and wasn't too spicy, I'd probably eat it.

how long did you save money in order to move to England?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Nothing
I've always been a bit adventurous... Well, I had 2000€ that my parents gave me, but I came here without knowing where I was going to live or anything. I had an apprentice job, but didn't know the salary (it was £4/h), but I managed ok :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)

thats completely amazing
jealous
I'm too afraid
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:15, Reply)

As I was saying to AA before
there's nothing to be afraid if you have nothing to lose. I don't know your case exactly, if you have a good job or family to look after, but even like that, you've got only one live... you can't be afraid of living it :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:22, Reply)

I actually tried this once as an experiment.
Not a good idea. The truth will out, as they say, and people will take it as though they've been lied to. Which, I suppose, they have.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:20, Reply)

i'll be honest, i can't imagine me being someone else

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:21, Reply)

i have to meet a lot of new people with my job
and generally it is something i find fun and easy, so i wouldn't change that.

but i would change the way i am with people i know a bit better - i have a terrible habit of passive-aggressive sulking, and not saying what is annoying me but just waiting to be asked why i am annoyed, which then never happens, because the person in question has no idea i am annoyed with them, because i have been nice enough all along.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Alright, what's the problem now?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:24, Reply)

NOTHING
it's all FINE
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Good!
Then stop being a moody mare, now do y'wanna cuppa or not?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Yes
and a biscuit
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:30, Reply)

WHY ARE YOU OFFERING ME BISCUITS YOU KNOW IM ON A DIET!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Okay I'll eat the biscuit then

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)

DONT EAT ALL THE BISCUITS YOU NEVER LEAVE ME ANY BISCUITS!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Could you condense the above into one post, so that I might click it?

(Cave Duck, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Are we really that bad
and anoying? It can't be true.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)

It's a bloody miracle that the human species has survived as long as it has
and that's only because we like getting our cocks wet much more than we dislike being nagged
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Not all are like that
or you don't find it so bad. Or there are good things about having a woman, apart from sex. Don't make me believe that you'd accept being treated like that just for sed.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:44, Reply)

you know i don't like tea or coffee
how could you forget, don't you care about me at all, i bet you remember what that dumbass blonde at your office drinks, oh yes
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Yeah, but only because she makes herself a coffee after she puts out over the desk
Once again, your prudishness is your own problem.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:39, Reply)

i have been called many things
but never prudish!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Alright, what's the problem now?
"I'm going to the pub"
/problems solved.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:29, Reply)

solved multiplied tenfold meaning no sex this side of 2016
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)

That is quite comment amongst your kind.
You say to any woman 'what's wrong?' they'll say 'nothing' when clearly there is something the matter.

It gets very boring very quickly if you are a bloke.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:25, Reply)

but if you really loved me, you'd already KNOW

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)

And if you really loved me you'd be on your knees and unzipping my trousers already

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Hahaha

( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)

that's not love
that's just mindless, sweaty, white hot animal sex
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:34, Reply)

And wonderful, to boot.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Wonderful sex with Al?
That's like saying you'd get clean in the showers at Auschwitz.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Oy vey!
I assume you know full well what I am referring to. I'm not spelling it out.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Someone's a jew?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)

She's a jew?
Urgh, and to think I let her appear in one of my dreams. I feel dirty.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)

he managed to con some poor oiseau into marrying him
he can't be all bad
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I'm very good at cooking

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:00, Reply)

that would not be enough

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Cooking up schemes to trick people into having anal sex, that is.

(Cave Duck, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:02, Reply)

hahahahaha

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Just you wait, you'll fall for my plans eventually

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:07, Reply)

A lovely Marmite Amuse Bouche
Entree - Toad in the Hole

Desert - Chocolate Suprise
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:14, Reply)

No, this is just it.
We might, if the sulking isn't a constant, make a guess as to what the matter is, but unless YOU say EXACTLY what the problem is, how are we supposed to modify our behaviour and learn?

Sulky women are hugely annoying. Sorry Swipe.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Don't apologise to her
you've done nothing to be sorry for
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:32, Reply)

THAT, al
is what YOU think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)

You're doing some Grade A
top level stirring today, old girl.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:34, Reply)

if you call me old ever again
i will hire someone to kill you.

i mean it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:36, Reply)

How sulky are you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:38, Reply)

More so the less attention she gets compared to the younger girls in the office.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)

if you got any nearer the knuckle
you would be the ring i am wearing.

now sod off!!!!!!!!!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Awwwww, poor swipey
Are your boobies not garnering you the attention they used to?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffft
what do you think?!

actually, don't answer that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)

depends
mostly i am far too impatient to sulk for more than about 20 mins.

but sometimes i can string it out for quite a while. depends what the perceived insult is, tbh. it's a safe bet there's at least 3 guys out there at any given time who have zero idea that i HATE THEM SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Did they show you Woundwort?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:43, Reply)

that sounds really really paedo
even if i am older than you!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Haha, maybe a little

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:49, Reply)

no
really really!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Do you have a list of people you hate?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:44, Reply)

only being tongue in cheek
real life is too short.

i have one or two that i would turn around to avoid if i saw them in the street, but that is it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Fair enough.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:48, Reply)

i'm all sweetness and light, really

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Yeah!
Leave Old Rswipe alone!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Pfft

( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)

You're old, I'm old
time to learn to live with it!
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:47, Reply)

it's all relative

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Getting it in the wrong hole is nothing to be sorry for
It's just you being prudish
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:35, Reply)

And then being told over and over again that getting angry isn't going to help is it!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)

i'm off shortly
to see my friend's baby and then to round up the troops for drinks/dinner.

huge burning question is - what nationality of food? we have thai, indian, italian, chinese (yeuch), french, turkish or modern european on the doorstep in wilmslow/alderley, and i have no idea which to go for...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:53, Reply)

I reckon you should go for Turkish
A nice big pile of grilled meat on a toasted pitta, with some houmous and yoghurt.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)

yup
nothing we veggies like more than a nice big pile of grilled meat, you insensitive arsewipe.

but mmmmmm. turkish.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Alright then
grilled chunks of haloumi cheese sprinkled with breadcrumbs, fresh dolmades, houmous, yoghurt and olives
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:01, Reply)

ok
much much better, god it's like food pr0n.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Food Pr0n?
"You should and come and see what's available inside my double-D Brasserie..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:07, Reply)

I'd say you should go to the Brasserie, but the bastards shut!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:58, Reply)

which one, the wilmslow one?
why have they closed that??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Not sure
It closed, then reopened as 44, then closed, then reopened as the Brasserie, and now is gone again.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Indian
If you are still celebrating your birthdeay.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)

I feel like Italian today
mmmm pizza
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I am pretty much an open book, I think.
I have such an overbearing personality that the assumptions people make about me will be fairly certain to be spot on.

This is both good and bad, I suppose.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Alright mate.
Had a good day?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Hello old boy.
Fuck no, it's been horrific - I have been on the verge of spewing all day and have had to contend with an immovable deadline at the same time. I really fucked up yesterday. Not happy with myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Did you over cook it on Sunday?
I thought you were having a quiet one this weekend 'cos you had your daughter?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:14, Reply)

When I dropped my daughter off
I discovered that a couple of pals were just metres away in a Shoreditch pub (this was about 3pm). The inevitability of what ensued fills me with self-loathing. The rest of the weekend was exactly as planned.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:17, Reply)

A couple of pints turned into a session?
It happens to all of us, I wouldn't feel too dissapointed. Take the day for what it was, an unexpected sesh.

Get an early night this evening and you'll be right again tomorrow.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:23, Reply)

It's not fair
because I type slower, and it seems I'm copying you :(
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:24, Reply)

You still need to work on your English then Aber!
:)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:27, Reply)

I know
:(
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:33, Reply)

It was MAJOR, Jeff.
I distinctly remember having difficulty staying upright at one point. MDs saved me from possible collapse. Every pint was accompanied by a cognac after a few hours. Undignified and fucking expensive.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Spending unbudgeted cash always adds to the hangover
See what savings you can make this week to claw-back some of the costs.

Maybe get yourself a vintage record guide so you can value your record collection, if you work out how much your vinyl is worth you'll probably feel a bit better about yourself when you realise you've got countless amount of money tied up in your collection!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:30, Reply)

The equity I have in my house
is the only thing that is stopping me from really fucking panicking, if I am honest.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:31, Reply)

You in a position to make a draw on some on the equity to sort yourself out in the long term?
Get your bills in order, cut up your credit card and whilst you'll have higher mortgage payments, it'll be at the current (well, lower) interest rates of the moment rather than some mental APR.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:35, Reply)

'Fraid not.
I remortgaged about a year ago - I don't earn enough to cover the increase in repayments a further remortgage would result in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:40, Reply)

Well all you can do is knuckle down and see where you can go!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:42, Reply)

Cardboard fucking city.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:52, Reply)

Well
At least it was only once during the whole weekend, I think that's pretty good. Just have an early night and you'll fell a lot better tomorrow.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Thank you for being so kind.
I feel wretched and really disappointed in myself. The weekend was so lovely up until that point. Don't get me wrong, I had a right old fucking laugh, but I feel so bad now, and not just physically.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:28, Reply)

I understand
I know it's not the same, but I feel so guilty when, after a week of doing my diet properly, I eat like a pig! I have fun at the moment, but later I regret it so much...

You're doing a lot less than you used to, and you're trying very hard for your daughter. Don't be too hard of you or that feeling will take you to do it again. Be proud of how much better you are!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Thank you, Frankie. I shall try to take your advice.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:34, Reply)

No worries, Adolf
Here to help the good race people.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:39, Reply)

*salutes*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:57, Reply)

Well I'm absolutely fucking disgusted with you
so there
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Rightly so.
I have been a bad dog.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:32, Reply)

The best of all the dogs.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:36, Reply)

Oh I can't stay mad at you...
here, have some money & drugs, i'll see you in a month when I bail you out of a Turkish prison.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:39, Reply)

Thanks Dad!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 17:49, Reply)