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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've got a new (flat) cap
CHCB kept telling me not to wear it in the house but I said "NO". Flat cap + dressing gown is the new look amirite?.

What are you wearing that you shouldn't be?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:22, 73 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
More what am I not wearing that I should be.
I don't wear socks. Ever. Ever ever ever. They make you look like a sex case/Alan Partridge.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:24, Reply)
.... ?
as opposed to no socks, that makes you look like an Italian paedo?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:26, Reply)
Si Senor badger
wanna sweetie?
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)
If you can puree it and get it through a straw, yeah, why not?
How's Moose, anyway?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:32, Reply)
Yeah, not bad... working too hard as usual, but drinking to make up for it.
How's Auld Reekie?
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:33, Reply)
Not too bad.
I'm just grumpy due to a) pain and b) being in fucking work when I absolutely swore to the surgeon I wouldn't go back for at least a week. Fucking academia can get to fuck, I'm going back to Industry, I swear.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:35, Reply)
Italian paedo's are stylish though init.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:44, Reply)
Nipple tassles.
I know there's a time and place for them but they make me feel sexy.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:24, Reply)
Nice!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:26, Reply)
Clothes.
Since that means I'm at work, when I should be at home recovering.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:25, Reply)
JeffAIDS?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:25, Reply)
bone graft.

Edit - although the JeffAIDS goes without saying.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:26, Reply)
What have you had bone grafted onto?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:27, Reply)
My new forehead horn.

Into my upper jaw/maxilla for reconstructive purposes.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:28, Reply)
Bite off more than you can chew?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:29, Reply)
Yes. A hockey stick.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:30, Reply)
ouch

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)
To be fair
the impact was nowhere near as painful as the repair has been so far.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:38, Reply)
It's making me wince just reading about it.
i hope the procedure been a success and that you'll soon be in less discomfort.
(Cave Duck, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:44, Reply)
Cheers sir.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:50, Reply)
It was certainly hard and curvy.

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)
I thought it said cat flap.
Cat flap and dressing gown is certainly acceptable.
(Cave Duck, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:26, Reply)
a silly band
because I'm not 12
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:28, Reply)
A silly band? Like Black Lace
Who sang your favourite song, 'Aggadoo'?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:32, Reply)

these

like this

the one I have is sunglasses shaped
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)
They really are silly bands.
Is this some local craze?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:45, Reply)
I reckon it's a US thing
they're everywhere, but it's a kids thing
my friends daughter gave this one to me, that's why I'm wearing it
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:54, Reply)
They're popular in Dublin too
that's where all the bailout money will go.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:03, Reply)
Shouldn't you be at work?
You've got two dependents now, time to be a man and act responsibly. Also flat caps are gay.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:30, Reply)
Tell that to Andy Capp.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:30, Reply)
Come on.
He obviously liked a bit of hot man-on-man as much as the next henpecked Yorkshireman.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)
His wife had bigger balls than him

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:32, Reply)
Andy Capp is from the North East.
Homosexuality doesn't exist in Yorkshire.
(Cave Duck, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:35, Reply)
Tell that to all the lesbians in my town.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)
OK, male homosexuality, then.
Could you imagine two bluff Yorkshiremen attempting to chat each other up?
It's illegal to even admit a slight degree of admiration for another bloke (unless it's Geoffrey Boycott.
(Cave Duck, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:41, Reply)
It always confused me that Boycott was charged with assaulting his wife
they said he hit her 15-20 times, but that can't be true. That would have taken him all day

/old ones are the best.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)
It's a classic.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:52, Reply)
That's well and good, m'lud
but as the case for the defence, I offer up simply this:

Hebden Bridge

Defence rests.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)
That is near where I live.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)
Is "visiting Hebden Bridge" used as a euphemism for those are minded to try "a different kind of love"?

(Cave Duck, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:48, Reply)
It was sort of a posh hippy community for a while
it's now so massively lesbian that it has its own bean-flicking competition.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:49, Reply)
"Pies and Prejdice", Stuart Maconies book about the north has interesting bit about Hebden Bridge detailing this.

(Cave Duck, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:00, Reply)
That's true
the second I turn my back, mine is out cruising for cock.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)
I heard that it had also become secretary of the Pet Shop Boys fan club.
Sorry about that.
(Cave Duck, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:33, Reply)
That's OK


I quite like PSB.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:34, Reply)
me too, but don't tell anyone.

(Cave Duck, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:36, Reply)
OK.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Why did I read that as cat flap?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:42, Reply)
As I did the same, I'm going to put forward the theory that it's a sign of great intelligence and general aceness.

(Cave Duck, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:03, Reply)
I'm going to put forward that I wasn't wearing my glasses and I am now

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:24, Reply)
Also everyone tells me my mittens are queer but they're class and they're just jealous.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:52, Reply)
Cod mittens?

(TheColonel, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 13:53, Reply)
Trainers
My shoes have fallen apart, and I can't afford any more until payday
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:02, Reply)
Oh dear fucking god...
Is that still the same dressing gown you were gaying it up in while we were in Edinburgh?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:13, Reply)
Yes. "The Dressing Gown of Love", as it's sarcastically known.
He sleeps in it unless it's too warm in which case he sleeps on it.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:16, Reply)
It's not too late to reconsider, you know.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:23, Reply)
There was definitely a moment of doubt
when he waxed lyrical about how great it would be to have towelling sheets.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:24, Reply)
hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:28, Reply)

sleeps spunks
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:28, Reply)
A 'Dick Dale for President' t shirt.
I shouldn't be wearing it, because deep down I don't think Dick Dale would make a particularly good president.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:20, Reply)
What's a dick dale?

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:25, Reply)
Only the fucking ‘King of the Surf Guitar’

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:26, Reply)
Surely a guitar wouldn't have much bouyancy?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:28, Reply)
That was a missed opportunity.
The better answer would have been to whip out your cock and say "THIS is, and the name's Monty, not Dale".
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:28, Reply)
I would never be so vulgar.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:31, Reply)

vulgar obvious
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:31, Reply)

obvious not actually very funny, really
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:38, Reply)
It's what got you pregnant Barrymore

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:28, Reply)
Thank god someone's on the ball.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:29, Reply)
I'm a God among men.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:31, Reply)

god a + men
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:35, Reply)
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Choke.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:31, Reply)
I'm sorry, but unless you're from Yorkshire and over 40 years old, flatcaps just look pretentious.
Myself, I'm dressed pretty much as I normally am (i.e., like a lesbian). I will be sporting a bass guitar later if that counts.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 14:34, Reply)

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