I saw this
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-11793926

And immediately thought of Karen Matthews, it must be a scam.

What scams have you been impressed with?

Alt: Lunch.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:03, 83 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I reckon alien abduction but then I blame everything on alien abduction.
I had a nommy dinner of M&S roasted veg cous cous and chicken with a wholemeal crusty bread roll.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Zombie aliens?

(Cave Duck, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Ooo! I never thought of that.
*excites*
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Nommy, nommy zombie aly-muns.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Hahaha!
I wish you were here right in front of me saying that.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I can just imagine his big, goonish face
contorting in agony as the words force themselves from his hairy mouth.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:28, Reply)

As all alien abduction stories seem to focus on the abductees being probed, I think
we know why BGB is interested.

(Also: A BGB nail salon just opened up in a very small town in VT. I didn’t realize BGB was such an entrepreneur).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I can't even spell entrepreneur.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:31, Reply)

either can I but the wonderous MS Word spell check saved me again.

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Hmmmm, from the burning trees by the entrance
I can't see this one having a happy ending.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:07, Reply)

this is better
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-11795932
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Joey Deacon lols
www.theregister.co.uk/2010/11/18/transformer/
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Wasn't there a Nintendo game that called you a spastic if you failed a mission.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:17, Reply)

here it is
2.bp.blogspot.com/_ysJdprkgpWE/RqOE6Eqg1lI/AAAAAAAAAEY/5KwNmU-MsPQ/s400/MindQuiz_SuperSpastic.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:19, Reply)

"Magikoopa Magic! Turn the train spastic! Make this ticket tragic!"

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Hahahahahahahahahha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Found this the other day
www.planetmobility.com/store/wheelchairs/manual/colours/spazz/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Fire engine red please.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Also:
www.b3ta.com/links/Cat_takes_on_alligator_and_wins

Alt: Ain't got time for lunch...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Also this
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11795407
for the quotes from the polititians.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:14, Reply)

This one made me chuckle
just for the phrase 'a rub of the relic'.

www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2010/1116/1224283411660.html
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:18, Reply)

rel cler
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:35, Reply)

I can honestly say
that the urge to go and vote does not wash over me after I've just coughed my filthy yoghurt.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:58, Reply)

The Church
Got to hand it to 'em, they've stuck at it for fucking ages now...
Alt: Yes, thank you. It was tasty.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:18, Reply)

I shake my head in disbelief
that people IN THIS DAY AND AGE are still swallowing one of the most blatantly-bullshit stories of all time:

'I know he was publicly executed BUT HE HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE! IT'S A MIRACLE!!! So you see we don't have to disband this sect that we are senior figures in, after all!! I know his failing to protect himself from execution despite being an all-powerful deity looks a teensy bit dodgy but REALLY IT'S ALL PART OF HIS GENIUS PLAN!!!

You want to see him too? Ah, well...you see...only we saw him, just for a bit, and he's..err....gone now....to, err, heaven. Leaving us here in charge. HALLELUJAH!!! Subscriptions please *holds out plate*

*sotto voce* one born every minute, eh lads?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Heretic faggot.*
If you don't love Jesus why don't go live in Eye-ran.

*Which by strange coincidence is the name of the new Iron Maiden album.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:32, Reply)

GOD HATES FAGS.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:33, Reply)

But he quite likes a pipe.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:35, Reply)

With the beard and those sandals
I had him down as a bit of a toker.

So the news that he hates fags comes as a surprise.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:36, Reply)

I heard he uses a vaporiser.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)

He's really into getting fucked up and listening to Spiritualized.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Alt: Chicken soup, 2 rolls, and a pack of Flamin' Hot Monster Munch

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:30, Reply)

What did you have in the rolls?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Nothing
Just dipped plain rolls in
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Was it Oasis soup?
You gotta roll with it.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:38, Reply)

No, Heinz
*weeps*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Hahahahaha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)

alt: a steaming plate of anger

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Oh dear.
Whats happened?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)

it's something incredibly fucking petty that has pissed me off extremely
I'm not going to talk about it, because I feel like I complain too much on here as it is
but sometimes you just need to say I'm fucking pissed off
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Does it happen every month?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:44, Reply)

pffffffft

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Just trying to get to the truth,
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:58, Reply)

did you read this on the internet?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:59, Reply)

From the drug addled rantings of a madman.
(not Monty)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:02, Reply)

With a side order of BULLYING?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)

a side of bend over backwards to please someone that couldn't give a flying fuck because they can't see the past the nose on their own god damned face
*seethes*
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)

It's alright for us but you have to live and work with merkins every day.
I think some of us forget that.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I don't think working with merkins would be any worse than working with brits.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:40, Reply)

I was joking.
AND STOP CHANGING YOUR NAME.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I HAVEN'T CHANGED IT SINCE YOU LAST SHOUTED AT ME

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Fuck off, bert.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I miss Althegeordie.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:56, Reply)

He misses you too
I'll get him to send you a postcard
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:58, Reply)

postcard cock gaz
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:02, Reply)

*trigger fingers*
Got it in one pet.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:04, Reply)

You're so transparent.
Where are you staying when you come to see Iron Maiden, then?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Dunno yet, it's a bit far into the future.
I would imagine on the saturday night we'll stay back at Chaps out in Kibblesworth, but I might take a half day and drive up after lunch so I could always come and see you on the friday night for a few cheeky beers.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Sounds like a plan to me.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Or we could even have cheeky bears, depending on how much wildlife you have up there.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:12, Reply)

No bears.
Plenty of swamp donkeys though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Pfffft
I had to look that up on urban dictionary!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:17, Reply)

It's a wonderful phrase, I feel.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:19, Reply)

merkins cunts
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:41, Reply)

This is a good point Blousie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:48, Reply)

and for dessert a PARTY IN THE USA!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I'm not sure why,
but that first picture looks more photoshopped than half of /board.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Give it a couple of hours
and it probably will be anyway.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Nigerians
and the fact that even now people are still falling for one of the most obvious scams in the history of scams.

"Hi there, I've got a large amount of money that I'll give you a share of if you give me some money to grease the wheels, as apparently the banks in my country charge 6 grand for a postal order".

I mean, really.
( Kroney, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Fuck! Is that a scam?
*cancels Bentley order, makes worried call to bank*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:55, Reply)

It seemed so convincing, too.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:56, Reply)

It's are only real if they are from Burkina Faso.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:00, Reply)

If it sounds too good to be true then it probably is.
I think this is why I'm still single.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:58, Reply)

People don't really still fall for that one, do they?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I'm very gullible, I don't know if I've been scammed or not.
Lunch is still under contemplation.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I totally scammed you
I'm not actually very good in bed, I just told you I was.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I still had a good time :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Nah, you didn't, I just told you that you did so you would stop crying long enough to let me leave.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I saw this
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11795407
And thought of Monty and all the other people on here who've never bothered voting - the Catalonians seem to think you're missing out!
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Bindun.
Thread below I think.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Higher up this thread.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:10, Reply)

You mean you expect me to read Chompy's posts?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:13, Reply)

I think you should have had a cheeky fiddle over them

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:15, Reply)