Made me laugh
In an idle moment, I plugged some text into this link From Atticus Grinch's profile. It claims that I write like H.P. Lovecraft, purveyor of all that is horrifying. What text did I enter? A copy of the last CV cover letter I wrote. This may explain a lot.

No actual question there so... Realistically, what do you expect to be doing in six months time, and how will it be better than what you're doing now?


Alt Q: Hats. Good things?
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:14, 110 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hats are good.
I like hats.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Depends what kind of hat really
Trilbys at jaunty angles immediately introduce you as a cunt, if that helps
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Hats with earflaps?
I like them in the cold, but I can't see why people wear them indoors.

Edit: You're right about the trilbys though. They're similar to skinny jeans on men in that respect.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Nothing says cunt more than a dappy hat I'm afraid, indoors, outdoors, anydoors

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I agree
I was talking about these
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I don't mind those - fact fans

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:16, Reply)

This reply made me remember
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ0jRuASVEQ&feature=related
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:45, Reply)

The second suitor reminds of several posters from this very messageboard

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:52, Reply)

you stalking me man?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Nope
Wondering if you'd changed your name and if so, wondering who you were before.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Formerly known as Bobby Pires

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:47, Reply)

I thought so
But I wasn't sure.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 21:02, Reply)

Caps extremely bad.
I have an amazing bobble hat that I paid far too much for but I can't wear it because too many knobheads are sporting bobble hats at the moment. Having to stick to my Fulham ski hat that I've had since I was about seven.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:27, Reply)

nasri!!!!!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:36, Reply)

I've turned the stream off.
Shame really as we were playing well once we'd equalised.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:44, Reply)

not over yet, could always sneak one. I fucking hope not mind.
BECKFORD YOU BEAUTY!!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:50, Reply)

It's always over, I have been watching us long enough to know it is always over.
I'm now waiting for the phone calls from my dad and granddad where we all take the piss out of ourselves for supporting such a pants team. I love doing this because I hardly ever speak to my granddad otherwise, so there is a plus side to losing.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Silver clouds and all that bullshit eh.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I'd rather be in a relegation battle than finish 12th, we're in a false position though so it won't last long.
I'll kill myself if we switch places with QPR though. Actually kill myself.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)

bagsy your clothes, I'll sell em.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:08, Reply)

I worked out how much I've spent on coats alone whilst sorting my room out today.
It made me want to cry.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Hats are good if you can get away with them.
My ex mother in law was not one of those people, bless her.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:56, Reply)

My winter Bobble hat keeps me incredibly warm.
I need it to survive here
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:58, Reply)

I love hats.
I apparently write like Chuck Palahniuk. Lol.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Depending on what I pasted in
I write either like Margaret Atwood or HP Lovecraft. But then, one was a research proposal and the other was the accompanying covering letter, so... *shrugs*
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:18, Reply)

Six months? MOAR SEX.
Alt Q: No I have a big head.
( girlinthehole, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:25, Reply)

How big is your head?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:34, Reply)

It's not so big that I can't get it through a door but bigger than you fist.

( girlinthehole, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:41, Reply)

My hat just got me a free drink from a crazy old man

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:29, Reply)

What's the story there?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:33, Reply)

He called over at the bar that he first met an incarnation of me in musical theatre in New York in 1978 and that he MUST buy me a drink
He told my dad I was an actual lady. Then New York 1978 became Swansea 1979.
He had £500 in his wallet, no teeth, and carried a golf club as a walking cane. Said he was friends with Sean Connery too.
He told us to put a bet on the favourite in the 4.15 at Woverhampton, as he owned it, but he couldn't recall its name.
I think he said his name was Gemini.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:44, Reply)

This kind of crazy shit happens to her all the time

( djtrialprice, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:59, Reply)

You should hear what happened to me in Kings Cross station the other week

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 18:03, Reply)

Don't mention that awful place
I've had some traumatic experiences there that I'd rather forget.
( djtrialprice, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 18:10, Reply)

You should have paid her then

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 18:12, Reply)

I don't wear hats
I have quite a big head, so it'd look a bit odd
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 17:46, Reply)

Well you shouldn't achieve so much then
*boom boom*
( djtrialprice, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 18:00, Reply)

Yes, my achievements are enviable
and include cooking dinner tonight and hiding
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 18:25, Reply)

In six months' time, I'll either have just finished or just be finishing this bloody PhD*.
Realistically, probably the latter. And there's therefore a good chance I'll be unemployed. But it will be better than what I'm doing now as hopefully it won't mean spending my bloody weekend in the office. I'm just presently debating at what point I should give up, leave the rest 'til tomorrow and join my friends in the pub.

Alt: In this weather, yes. My black trilby has provided a level of thermal insulation that my hair alone could not. The only drawback is it the danger that it potentially makes Hackney-hipster cunts think I'm one of them.

*_{NB A note to berk and anyone else currently applying for one: please don't let my overall negative experience (and incessant whinging thereupon) discourage you - if you get onto a project you like then it will be very satisfying.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 18:49, Reply)

Crow I still haven't met you. :(
this makes me very sad.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:00, Reply)

I'm sorry Poppet, it's been higly unfortuitous timing on my part*
Are you passing back through or near London before you depart this hemisphere?

*_{Mehehe. 'Part.'}
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:30, Reply)

Yes I am!
I'll be in London on the 25th to the 30th of January. But that's it aside from the night before I leave for Belgium.
/Poppet
( girlinthehole, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:34, Reply)

Marvellous. Then I shall endeavour to make provision for those days.
(And possibly devise a scheme to steal your tickets so I can go to Belgium on the cheap and drink myself into a coma.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:36, Reply)

It's alright
I already have abject, sphincter-ruining fear about my interview - nothing you could say would make it worse!
I'm guessing you're not coming to Bristol, then, if you have a fuckton of work to do?
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:18, Reply)

how's the interview work going?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:33, Reply)

Oh god, it's a disaster
I read three papers this morning/early afternoon which I've retained barely anything of (I could give you maybe a short paragraph in total) and I've spent the rest of the day procrastinating.
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:34, Reply)

You'll remember more than you think
when it comes to it :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:36, Reply)

I won't
I shall go to pieces, cry and shit myself. Simultaneously, probably.
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:37, Reply)

that's terrifyingly hilarious.

(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:48, Reply)

Nonsense!
You know your stuff or you wouldn't have bothered to apply. It's just nerves speaking.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:48, Reply)

I thought I knew my stuff
the amount of stuff I have in fact forgotten since university is truly appalling. I am petrified that they'll ask me something really basic that I *used* to know and I'll be all 'errrrrrm, yes?'
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:52, Reply)

They won't expect you to be an expert in everything
If you can wax lyrical about the work you've been doing for the last few years, and show some resemblance to the brilliant and adept scientist you described on your application form then you should be alright. Might help to know a little about their recent work as well - it looks good if you can ask them intelligent questions and at least pretend you understand their responses.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:55, Reply)

you will be FINE
i'm the closest you're going to get to the Law and i say this is so.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:56, Reply)

Monday, was it? Best of luck.
(And to be honest, if the people interviewing you make it a hellish experience then just remember that they'd be your potential supervisors and would you want to work with them for 3 years anyway?)

As for Brizzle...well, the fuckton of work is less of a pressing issue than my friend's return to London that weekend. I wouldn't rule out Bristol, but I'd have to check a few other people's plans (particularly which days he's hoping to stay at my place!)
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:33, Reply)

A week on tuesday
It's Oxford - I'm expecting the interview to be a nightmare simply because of that. *sighs*
I don't know if it makes it any easier for you, assuming you're free of course, but I'm giving Amberl a lift from Oxford - going down Sunday and coming back Monday - is the Oxford tube likely to be any cheaper than the train?
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:36, Reply)

Whoops, my memory really is getting worse. Well, best of luck for then, though I'm sure I'll see you on here before that anyway.
Your offer is tempting. I've got to be honest, I haven't really thought this one through as I had some daft idea fixed in my head about coming back to London the same evening - this is where the fuckton of work will, in fact, come into play as I'm really going to need to have a 'result' before I down tools for christmas. Starting to think I might have to give this bash a miss as well. Which is a shame, because it would have been nice to see you all again before christmas.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:43, Reply)

evening all
somebody say something to make me get off my arse and go to the party... it's cold outside and it requires effort to get ready, but i don't want to sit in the flat all night either................
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:46, Reply)

GET OFF YOUR ARSE AND GO TO THE PARTY, SWIPE!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:47, Reply)

this is probably very good advice
i will decide at 8pm. i'll have missed the swinging bit by then anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:48, Reply)

Aww, this is your swing dancing thing?
Swipey, that's lame. That sounded really cool, get off your arse and go party!
/may be living vicariously through other people...
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:50, Reply)

i know
and it is. it's just that i've been tidying up and throwing out old clothes etc all day and i'm all allergic to dust and sneezy and-

well, ok. my friend's bf is a bit of a moron and the thought of spending the whole evening listening to him is a bit offputting!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:53, Reply)

Do you have earplugs?
I have a good pair that filter out loud noise and loud music but leave speech mostly audible - perhaps you can find some that do the opposite...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:57, Reply)

god he really needs it it
he talks like that bottomtooth character from "family guy".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:00, Reply)

Pffft!

(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:02, Reply)

i have decided
shower at 8.30, leave here at 9.30, hit party at 10. sorted.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:03, Reply)

I'm nothing if not persuasive.
I myself am sitting in the warmth and drinking wine whilst the heating does its stuff.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:50, Reply)

she will if you do....

(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:48, Reply)

Why aren't you in the pub yet?
Has Beekers arrived with stacks of non alcoholic lager yet?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:51, Reply)

Swipe
Go to the party or I put you on ignore.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:50, Reply)

well that's guaranteed to make me stay in, innit

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:52, Reply)

Of course
I am the suavest of the OT posters. You would miss my suavitude if I were to blacklist you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:53, Reply)

i am sure the superlative is "most suave" not "suavest"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:54, Reply)

Suavest is perfectly acceptable.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:58, Reply)

depends whom you are expecting to do the accepting

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:59, Reply)

Whoops, my memory really is getting worse. Well, best of luck for then, though I'm sure I'll see you on here before that anyway.
Your offer is tempting. I've got to be honest, I haven't really thought this one through as I had some daft idea fixed in my head about coming back to London the same evening - this is where the fuckton of work will, in fact, come into play as I'm really going to need to have a 'result' before I down tools for christmas. Starting to think I might have to give this bash a miss as well. Which is a shame, because it would have been nice to see you all again before christmas. I'm a little teapot...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:47, Reply)

Possibly
but neither short nor stout, I'd say...
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:49, Reply)

You are what you eat?
_{Well, drink, more accurately...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:51, Reply)

I must be the only scientist I know
that doesn't drink gallons of tea...
Ah well - with regards to the above, the offer of a lift is there if you want it.
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:58, Reply)

I was referring to the stout more than the tea,
but I guess either would be acceptable.

Thank you very much for the offer. I'll see how things pan out over the next few days and will give you a shout if I change my mind.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:02, Reply)

The Oxford tube is £13 for a return
and about £9 for a single. So a lot cheaper than the train
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:50, Reply)

In six months time
I expect to be working in my garden again and it will be better because I will not be freezing my nads off.

I own three hats. The most dashing is a Panama which I believe I wear with a considerable degree of panache.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:13, Reply)

panamas always add
an air of panach, I don't think you can be going wrong, there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:58, Reply)

I also have one of these
steppingout.co.uk/html/tilley_hats.html

A TWC5, to be precise.

(And a Barbour Coat, and green wellies...)
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:07, Reply)

I'm wearing a hat right now
and did all the way through my date...it was good by the way :)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:56, Reply)

meeting up with him again?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:14, Reply)

i reckon
unless he was just being polite

if he was, he was being very polite
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:21, Reply)

sounds like it when very well
did you just visit the musuem?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:23, Reply)

I'm firmly of the opinion that society started to decline when folk stopped wearing hats
Not caps or other such head perching tomfoolery but proper hats. I'd like a return to things where a chap could doff his hat to a lady and the lady'd be satisfied because that's what chaps do.

I guess the hat represents a presence of manners to me, when people at least preteded to be polite to each other rather than the outright cuntery displayed by folk today.

In 6 months time I hope to be doing exactly what I am now.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:58, Reply)

Seeing as Swipe is off to a party, here is one of the greatest house tracks ever
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOLE1YE_oFQ
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 19:59, Reply)

i am watching "fat and proud" (aka "extremely deluded")
and eating crunchy peanut butter directly from the jar with a fork. the irony of this does not escape me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:01, Reply)

Nuts, innit
they're good for you!
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:03, Reply)

i eat a lot of raw cashews, walnuts, pecans etc
but i am not quite sure it counts when they are mashed up with oil and salt! at least it's the organic sugar-free stuff...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:04, Reply)

I scoffed a whole bag of
honey roast cashews and peanuts and a whole bar of galaxy hazelnut either. I really can't judge you! I too am using the whole 'nuts are healthy' excuse and am also conveniently forgetting all the extra sugar..
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:07, Reply)

i love galaxy
i don't know why it's so nice, it's miles creamier than most other things
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:11, Reply)

I was always a Dairy Milk girl
but this Galaxy hazelnut has me bloody hooked - it is MARVELLOUS stuff. I feel like a right fat fucker now mind - I blame sainsbury's for having it on offer.
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:25, Reply)

This may make you feel better, berk.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTfZCg6zj9M
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:32, Reply)

i must avoid it if it is so good!
i am troubled by the cadbury's "make a wish" stars, they are basically a giant chocolate star stuffed with aero, and they should be illegal.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:35, Reply)

ahem young lady
time for you to be getting ready
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:39, Reply)

Right, I'm giving up for the day.
I'm not going to get anything else useful done at this rate so I shall come and finish this fucker off tomorrow. If you're at the bash, enjoy yourself and accept my apologies for my absence. If you're not, well, have a good evening, whatever you do.

If you're Davros, ignore all the above and just imagine I'm teapotting round my office as I dictate this to an incredibly effeminate rent-boy-secretary.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:17, Reply)

I never imagine anything else, dear chap.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:23, Reply)

In 6 months time
I'll be doing the exams that will decide whether I ever get a job
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:17, Reply)

doing acing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:18, Reply)

:) I wish!

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:22, Reply)

Yeah you will
you're the only person I've ever met who has managed to use the word 'triumvirate' in normal conversation and not sound like a total twat! Plus you are actually a little bit intimidatingly clever - you'll be fine.
(berk, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:31, Reply)

you mean I didn't
sound like a total twat?! Horrifying!

Depressingly I met a fellow historian today who moaned her discontent at having to spend ten hours a day in the library revising. It really drove it home, just how little I do
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:36, Reply)

too clever for your own good
young woman
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:36, Reply)

right now I'd rather be studious!

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 20:45, Reply)

In 6 months time I expect to be most of the way to being in a new place
if not already in it.

I just need to sort this place out - have a mass clear-out, get it cleaned and some repairs done, and then get it sold.

I'm a borderline hoarder, though, so it's not so simple.

I have a Russian Tank Commander hat and a Thinsulate hat for Winter and a floppy hat for summer. I wouldn't mind a panama hat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 4 Dec 2010, 21:09, Reply)