Used to have a cat
named Retard. He actually was very smart. But, he was the runt of the litter, and when he was born, he had a big head and paws and often let his tongue hang out of his mouth. He was the last of the kittens to open his eyes, and the last to walk properly. So, we thought that he wasn't going to make it and named him Retard so we wouldn't feel so bad when he died.

Anyway, he lived, and ended up being a very nice, well behaved cat.
(grrlatthrockshow, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 23:44, Reply)

Herpes
Our second cat was supposed to be called Herpes, but my mother instisted on calling him Hermes on account of being unwilling to stand at our back door shouting for Herpes.
I thought it'd be excellent; if it ran away you'd be walking along the street shouting- "Herpes!"
Which probably'd mean a rozzer'd ask
"What d'you think you are doing, madam?"
"Looking for Herpes."
"Herpes, Madam?"
"Well, you see it's my pussy. I've had it since I was little, but it's a lovely fluffy wee thing."

But we really shouldn't have been allowed to have hamsters- names ranged from Nobby (partly after the Discworld character, partly because his nuts dragged along the cage floor) to Spunky (looked like the dog from Rocko's modern life) to Duracell (the horniest hamster in the world- it was ever ready).
(greenycrimson I stole the from pyschotherapist, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 23:25, Reply)

Seaguls
my friend has a dog named Seaguls. Why, you ask? Well, so you can say things such as, "Seaguls woke me up this morning by jumping on the bed." or "Seaguls just bit me!" Oh the hilarity...
( Esch, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 22:43, Reply)

my
dog is called rosie - brown labrador (question is a bit shit) :o
( Delete Me, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 22:35, Reply)

I had a cat
called Aggro - smallest black and white fluffy thing you ever saw, but even as a kitten it would beat up my OESD, and the other cat I had at the time (a russian blue called Genghis).

Had another cat when I was a kid called Winkle cos it always had its bits out.
(Freakmandu, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 22:25, Reply)

My ex girlfriend got a dog
while we were dating. We were sitting in her living room not paying attention to the small spills of merlot which had ended up on the floor. The dog, as it turned out, couldn't get enough of the stuff. Loved red wine. What a lush! It didn't take her very long to decide on the name "luscious", or "lush" for short.

It's a good thing it was a girl dog. Otherwise the name would have made the dog gay.
( froopyscot may have a prehensile cock, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 22:11, Reply)

hamster
I had a hamster named Mickey(wanted a mouse) my parents bought cheap bedding and it wrapped around one of his back legs. The leg dropped off. We then named him Mickey the gimp.
(DryGoldfish, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 22:04, Reply)

A very sad and ill looking
Basset hound, with rheumy red eyes was owned by my best mate. It was always padding around the house feeling a little sorry for itself, as it was systematically bullied by his cat, which was aptly named Effin (as in where's that effin cat).
The dog was prone to lying in the corner and generally behaving like it had a massive inferiority complex.
Inevitably he called it Underdog.
( fishbear, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 22:02, Reply)

Cats named by other people
My first cat was named Tuppence by my dad. I was only 7 when we got her, and was not very knowlegeable of the gynaecological slang of past times. It took 11 years, and a girlfreind to point it out, for me to realise his little joke.

When I was a bit older I got a couple of kittens from a rescue centre who were already named by their previous owners. They were brothers and were called Billy Whizz and Rizla, presumably refugees from a student or crack house. Unfortunatley Rizla got rolled (sorry) under a car about a year later, but Billy is still going strong and has deservedly earned his nickname of 'The Whore' for his willingness to jump on anyone's lap at any time.
(JTB, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 21:24, Reply)

I have a BIG dog
called Barney, I named after the purple dinasour, because the dog is soooooooo big yet so unbelievably STUPID..and annoying. He's a hairy, oversized golden retriever. Grrrr he REALLY annoys me...

He loves to greet people by running up to you and wiping his thick slobber all over you so that you have what looks like dodgy looking 'steins' all over your crotch area, which isn't funny when everyone gives you funny looks. I've tried telling people the truth but they only believe me when I let Barney greet my mates themselves when they come round..haha!
(flyingflea, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 21:06, Reply)

Skittle
My brother wanted to call his new kitten Eminem (bastard...) and his mate who was in the car at the time said M&Ms, then it ended up being Skittle. This was all before he got home with her, so I never got a say. Not only did this work well as I (wittily) said she was the Skitty Kitty, but she turned out to be quite skittish- which is what my dad says is a better word for running round the house because my brother drove her insane. Maybe it was the name, spooky...
( Whillow, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 20:49, Reply)

Looks to me like "Tripod" is the new ice cream van
My cat was unimaginatively named "Bootsie" by my parents, being black with white paws. I, however, call him "Caligula", that being Latin for Bootsie (fact). I have yet to see him get up to any odd feats of sexual excess, but I've got my eye on him.

Also, my first pets were kittens called KItty and Korky, making my porn name "Kitty Cooney" which I think sounds more like a 55-year-old American soap actress.
(Sus_K, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 20:26, Reply)

dog
name: dot
why: because i'm blind without my glasses and that's what she looked like when she'd wake me up.

(first post, woo)
(thornz, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 19:58, Reply)

I had a pure white rabbit called Rambo
and it chewed through two layers of chicken wire, only to savagely mawl two Quails in the aviary that backed on to the hutch.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 19:52, Reply)

My Mate's Hamster
My mate in Munster had a Hamster,
see, it's HAMSTER, not Hampster or Hapmster
called SPG (Special Patrol Group) after Vivien from the Young Ones' Hamster. Him and this other mate used to get high and roll the poor bugger around and down stairs in his walker ball - but he could take it cos he was HARD. And he used to climb curtains and kamikaze dive aswell.
(washing_machine, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 19:11, Reply)

My snake, legless
All of our animals have been named after drinks - Boozey the Budgie, Bacardi and Breezer the goldfish and now we have a cute little cornsnake, as it has no legs, it had to be called legless!
(it's food is rat arsed! :P)
(Bizkidd, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 19:11, Reply)

My cat is called Vindicator
Luckily we have a cat flap, so I don't have to stand at the back door shouting 'Vindicator!' until someone locks me up. His sister is the enigmatically-named Malcolm
(Dazbert, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 19:06, Reply)

cat calling
my aunty had a friend who named their cat 'Chairman Meow' - which is, frankly, brilliant - but at the local vets, the receptionist would call out the pet's surname when it was it's turn to go under the knife. so, rather than call out Rover Bloggs - she'd just say 'Bloggs'.

so whenever they had to take Chairman Meow to the vets - they would have to suffer disgusted looks from the other pet owners as the receptionist would just shout 'Meow'.

not much of a story - but it's stuck with me.

almost as much as the story about my mum's neighbour who lost their new kitten while doing the laundry - only to find meaty kitten chunks steaming away in the washing machine after boiling her whites.

that one's hard to forget. sorry.
(rikrak, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 18:33, Reply)

i had a
fish that was given to me ny a friend who was leaving the country, she didnt believe in giving animals names
so i called it babel. and no i didnt try to stick it in my ear.....
many times
( mostly harmless John Leslie raped me on, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 18:18, Reply)

Another one
I had a hampster named Squeakers. After trying to feed him and almost being bitten, my mom decided to rename him "Hampster from Hell".

And my dad has a cat named Blighty.
(pk, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 18:11, Reply)

Your pets call what?
When me and my parents owned a pub we always had guard dogs. I remember when we got a male and a female debermans.

The female one was called fanny and the male one was called Fokker (german plane)
until my mum pointed out the fact that calling fokker fanny whilst walking past the church next to us could cause some arguments with the locals.

Fokker was then named to prince.
( Gaz, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 18:04, Reply)

we have 3 cats
they all have normal names,but odd nicknames have developed over time.Clare is 'Chubby C' because she weighs 18 pounds(according to my husband,it's her "rap name"),Sophie is 'Tofutti',after the frozen,dairyless dessert which is one of the few people foods she likes,and Tristan is 'Captain Pinky',due to his pink nose and his obsession with sitting on the edge of the bath and fishing for the washcloth.i can't wait to see what we call our children......
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 18:03, Reply)

animalistic strangeness
Where should I start? My life has been blighted by my dearest mother's love of silly names for animals. First off we had a cat called Dreadnought, who lived up to his name and was well hard. Next two Pekingeses called Popinjay and Jackanapes-Popinjay could not live with his name, turned psychotic and was responsible for an epidemic of tetanus injections all over Plymouth. After that we had a Persian cat called Prudence who was rubbish-had one eye, asthma and randomly turned grey one day. Kept being kidnapped and taken to the RSPCA because she looked so close to death.

My mate Farley had fish called Captain Atlantic and Jehova.

I see one of my collegues from St Boniface posts here -wierd.
(incatatus, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 17:57, Reply)

petrochemicals
The skinhead crew I used to belong to had quite a few Pit Bulls associated with it. One litter of these Pits were named after petrochemicals: Octane, Pentane, Butane, Diesel, Hi-Test and 10W40. Odd lot, that crew were.
( ronin9026, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 17:42, Reply)

My dad's greyhound
is from Ireland and is called Shannon - not because he's from that part of Ireland (he isn't), but because he pisses rivers.
(suckonthisitsblocked, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 17:40, Reply)

One of my cats gets called Dayshift
Coz the lazy little flange darts through my door as I get up in the morning and sleeps on my bed all day 'til I turf her off to get back in myself.
(Me and your sisters- at it. DVDs/Videos 10 quid., Thu 26 Feb 2004, 16:57, Reply)

meow.
We had a cat named Kloppenberg. It was named after a Dutch department store of the same name, but I can't remember what the hell my parents were smoking when they named it that.
( kingofpork is the king of pork, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 16:48, Reply)

look what the cat dragged in!!
one day i was awoken to my ex screaming her head off @ a goldfish my cat had brought home the fish had most of its side missing but we thought since it was still flipping a bit we would put it in a sink of water to see if it lived sure enough it did from that day forward the fish was known as "lucky Bastard"
(j3fus, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 16:47, Reply)

Pet Names
Next Door Neighbor: Has a blindingly white cat named Cocoa. Can't decide if she actually has a sense of humor or is just daft.

Ex-Boyfriend: Cat Named Stinky who liked to sleep in the Litter Box. Also had a cat named Tinkles that peed in his mom's toaster every day for at least five years before anyone figured it out. Sheesh. The Irony is he was named Tinkles before the finding-out-of-the-origin-of-the-smell-from-the-toaster due to his prediliction to pee on Stinky if Stinky was sleeping in the litter box again.

Friend: Two Cats named Law and Order, after the popular U.S. TV Series. They are vicious, vengeful and very spastic.

When I was in the Marines and stationed in Okinawa, there was a collective group of us that had a Hamster named Jumpin' Jack Flash that had his own parachute and log book. We would periodically launch him out the window of the barracks (4th floor) with his handmade chute and log in the jump with descriptive details such as "Captain Jumpin' Jack Flash Flies Better When Plied With Sardines and Raisins".
(Igneous, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 16:44, Reply)

My ferret
The ferret from whom I take my name is actually named Billy Bob, in homage to the character on Once Upon a Hamster, a wonderful Canadian show. It's an awesome name for a ferret, I'd like to see more Billy Bob Ferrets.

He's got adrenal disease now, he's almost completely bald except for his face. Looks good on him.
(Random Ferret, Thu 26 Feb 2004, 16:39, Reply)