Sabotage and/or Revenge...
My younger brother has seen 'The Fast and the Furious' a few too many times. He goes to cruises, and runs 'modded' car club with some friends. He used to have a website dedicated to his Honda Civic (a 1.5 Economy VTEC, no less). I hacked in (well, i say hacked, but the fool uses the same username and password for EVERYTHING), and uploaded some 'shopped pics of his car, complete with engine bay full of rice and sponsored by Uncle Ben's graphics. He was not amused... But I was, which was the whole point of the excerise.

On a more revenge note, I was made redundant last year. The company i worked for were a bunch of twunts at the best of times, and making me redundant just pushed me over the edge. I'd actually helped set up the factory, so i new the place inside-out. In fact, i'd installed a lovely gas pipework system (non-flammable gas, unfortunately). Several holes were punched into various, inaccessible places in the system. These were places where the pipework is completely hidden, only the guys who built it would know that it's there. The other guy who worked on the system left a few months before i got the boot, so there's no way they're ever going to find the holes. Last i heard, they've more than doubled the amount of gas they're using, and still have no idea why. They're especially puzzled as they've now sold over half of their machines and should be using much less... :D
(Chewy , masticating since 1978., Wed 4 May 2005, 23:02, Reply)

School urinals.
Being a naughty boy in my school days, I waited until there was a spot between classes, then took it upon me to drill a small, subtle hole (took a long time without power tools) in the pipe below one of the urinals. Then sneaked off.

The basic premise behind this? When someone used said urinal, they pissed on their own shoes.

Don't think it was ever mentioned, not as deliberate vandilism anyway. Ahhh, to be young again.
( Iki I think my camel is dead., Wed 4 May 2005, 22:58, Reply)

Our flatmate was asleep in his room...
...so we shouted loudly that there was a fire and we needed to get out.

What makes this special? We had covered his entire doorway in duct tape.

Bastard never woke up until the next day.
( Iki I think my camel is dead., Wed 4 May 2005, 22:55, Reply)

Getting ridiculously pissed off at The Ninja (SMS)...
...that I left it overnight under a radiator with a magnet sitting beside it.

Still plays fine to this day, some 7 years of owning it and 5 years after the incident.

(guess it doesn't count when you sabotage yourself)
( Iki I think my camel is dead., Wed 4 May 2005, 22:54, Reply)

I have never been petty in my entire life
Except perhaps when the IT teacher annoys me and I use a keylogger to take his password, and delete his work.
(sqrrl101, Wed 4 May 2005, 22:48, Reply)

A while ago now
whilst i was living in france some germans invaded my home town so i put an explosive device on a rail line to mess up their transport.

I know it was petty but they marched about like they owned the place.
( cooler_king That's no moon!, Wed 4 May 2005, 22:34, Reply)

Dodgy Party
Way back when I was at uni, some guy on the course that nobody liked had a party, we all went.

About 12.30am he'd had enough and started dropping hints that he wanted everybody to leave, by saying things like "I want everybody out".

I pissed in his kettle.
( Halk, Wed 4 May 2005, 22:33, Reply)

Banging Shit
I ate half a pack of ex-lax went to my ex's house, went to the bathroom lifted the lid of the water tank thingy on top of the bog and let it rip replaced the lid and left it was ring-splittingly pleasing
(Hello Coco?, Wed 4 May 2005, 22:32, Reply)

Read this
its fun to write " if you read this you are gay", its bit immature but its funny to laugh at kids saying it
(clarkson4sheephahaha, Wed 4 May 2005, 22:26, Reply)

While living in halls
An italian flat mate iritated me by his abuse of any lady he saw me with so I shook up all his canned drinks.

Neither big nor clever but very petty and childishly amusing.

First post(woo)
( Fish, My keyboard has dsylexia built in., Wed 4 May 2005, 22:21, Reply)

Not advisable
Whilst at school my friend and I got all bolshie about the 2nd floor toilets always being locked on the second floor - we were on the fourth .. we made our point by spiking our French teachers coffee with a vile and powerful laxative. He never made it ...
(wimbley is feeling hungover, Wed 4 May 2005, 21:46, Reply)

What Smells?
My dad pisses me off. I know that if he dies my mortgage gets paid off and I get £300 a week. However, my conscience put me off topping him. I pissed in his bed instead, and now gob in it every new time he annoys me.

Bastard.
(Burb Lulls, Wed 4 May 2005, 21:35, Reply)

Simple, but effective
Eggs and anchovies poured into the water tank and the sistern (or is that cistern) of one ex employer. Not only did it stink, but they never found it for days.

Oh, and I put things under the keys of the aforementioned ex-employers keyboard, so that whenever he pressed the keys nothing would happen.

Oh yeah, at school I decided to unbuild a PC from the front because the teacher knew less than I did about computers - she tried to argue that Basic was used to write Windows 95. Twit. She could never figure out what happened. Hehe.
(stav999999, Wed 4 May 2005, 21:24, Reply)

Smash
The end of term arrives at the end of my first year at uni (in halls). Turns out I have a whole tin of Smash left...the obvious place to put it seemed to be my mates toilet...one flush later and an explosion of mashed potato erupts from the toilet. Funny. But made even funnier when another of my flat mates takes a shit on top.
(Danny Bang, Wed 4 May 2005, 21:07, Reply)

I set them up the bomb.

( Rev. Cleo still alive, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:58, Reply)

Teddy Suicide
Had a girlie girl lodger and she had loads of soft toys (euuggghh!!) so made nooses for all of them. She came home to find them all hanging in her room, then cried, then moved out.......tee hee
(Smumps, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:58, Reply)

sorry lee
In my first year in uni i had to share a corridor with 3 chavish, really dumb engineering student twunts

They did the usual annoying food stealing, shouting ignorant things, going on about their sexual prowess whilst never getting a woman.

anyways just b4 the big end of year exams they decided to loudly plan 2 steal milk from one of my friends who lived downstairs, as our fridge was empty and they were too skanky 2 buy their own. cue hasty phone call to mate and replacement of milk with laxative and shaving foam.

hope those rice krispies were nice lee, hahaha, i hope you read this.
(Fordprefect, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:58, Reply)

Bread
Pushed a teaspoon all the way into the middle of an uncut loaf of bread at a friends, quite a feat in itself!! tee hee
(Smumps, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:55, Reply)

less than stealthy
This kind of sabotage was of the more blatant variety, when i was still at school, we had a science teacher no dissimilar to Mr Bean, a total push over, and he had the habit of reading the news paper and falling asleep behing it, so no one would notice (even though it was dead obvious) so a certain group of students would atatch bits of paper to pencils useing rubber bands, light the paper, then throw them at his news paper trying to torch the skiveing sod! ... a bit harsh, but it kept him on his toes!
(viva_le_boosh, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:54, Reply)

remote sabotage
nicked all the batteries out of a remote control obsessed friends remotes and the spare ones out of the kitchen drawer too!!! tee hee.
(Smumps, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:53, Reply)

Ah....practical jokes.
Me and my housemate ended up having a good-natured practical joke war. Such efforts in the war included him bursting a baloon filled with pepper over my head when I was asleep (imaginitive, I give him that)and me finding his spare keys and moving his car around the corner so that he thought it had been nicked. After his latest effort of putting blue food dye in my shampoo (made me look like a fucking smurf) I decided to exact terrible revenge. I got every single alarm clock in the house, and set them to 20 minute intervals and hid them around his bedroom. The first alarm, however, was his radio. Now Mark is a bit of a music fan and had a fairly powerful speaker system which I noticed he never turned up above quarter volume (even that was enough to melt earwax). So, I set his music system to radio mode, tuned the FM dial to static noise, and turned it off, setting the volume to full.

As it happens, I was on a night shift the next day, so I was able to stay up until 3am when my master plan came into play. I could hear the static quite clearly through a 10 inch brick wall at normal conversation volume, followed by Mark's muffled screaming. After he turned it off and (I imagine) went back to sleep, the first alarm went off. This contined every half hour until 6am!

I was nearly murdered the next morning.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Wed 4 May 2005, 20:44, Reply)

Petty AND Pedantic.
I like to change signs that are incorrect, either in their spelling or grammar. 'Niteclubs' are the worst, what with their 'Laydeez Nite Tonite' etc.
Recently I sent back a letter posted to me with all the errors highlighted in red pen. I am still awaiting a reply...
( CaroWallis, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:43, Reply)

im training to be a plumber
and a little while ago i broke an £800 radiator so instead of getting a bollocking i put the radiator back where it was and placed it so that it looked like the next person that picked it up broke it i got out of the bollocking and some other bloke got one which also made me look good.
(fwack bang on it, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:42, Reply)

Hehehee
Well i was very very naughty and ate a cake with no spoon!
Bet ya cant do that x]
and i used all the spoons for my spoon collection SO No tea or Spoons So everyone will need to use SPORKS! x]
( belliemonster Oh, I'm sorry! Did I break your concentration?, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:37, Reply)

Superglue plus nightout
My mates birthday two weeks ago, lets call him Rhys for that is his name,

He goes out all nicely dressed, but wearing white socks, what a silly twunt, he calls a mate to bring him some black ones.

I happened to have superglue in my pocket because i was planning to stick his drink to the table, what a nice man i am :) queue crawling under the table and lining the top of shoe with superglue, then sprayed it really hard down one sock, (he noticed at this point!)
he did eventually get the socks off in the toilet but it took quite a bit of flesh with it! ouch

oh and i glued his drink to the table while he was in the loo, he soaked himself with that!

did i mention im a great mate?

I would apologise for length but its my dad's fault.... :)
(Four String Demon, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:32, Reply)

Not so much sabotage as industrial espionage really, I once talked my way past
a client's security guards on a Saturday so that I could modify the tender-responses of my competitors in my favour - somehow it worked and nobody was any the wiser, although I can't ever remember my heart beating so loud or fast in my life
(Chopper3, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:26, Reply)

Whenever people ask me for directions to somewhere, I invariably have no idea, so rather than simply and politely say "I'm sorry, I don't know", I send them in a direction that I can only hope ends up with them being hopelessly lost. What are they gonna do? Find me? They're lost, and *I* know where I'm going!
( <somethingfunny> hasn't said anything funny since, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:22, Reply)

Fun with trains
There is an industrial railway spur near where I used to live, with an unmanned level crossing going over a moderately busy road. About 50 metres down from the crossing are the sensors that the train triggers as it rolls over them (slowly - this was just a spur line remember). The sensors were placed, one on each rail, and when the train went over them it completed a circuit, setting off the bells and lights at the level crossing, stopping the cars. We discovered that you could complete this circuit with any conducting material that spanned the two sensors. So we grabbed a metal fencepost and laid it across the rails, touching the sensors. Bingo. The lights began flashing, the bells began ringing and traffic came to a stop. We just sat in the woods and watched traffic build up on both sides of the crossing, waiting for the non-existent train to cross.
(ring-finger is also a verb, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:18, Reply)

when i was 7...
when i was 7...
.... my dad really annoyed me, can't quite remember why but think he wouldn't let me out on my bike, well anyway in sweet revenge i filled the tank of his moped with sand.
it was months before i was allowed to play outside again
(think i got the spelling right this time)
(reallyevilpete666, Wed 4 May 2005, 20:11, Reply)