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This is a question Relief

Last week, I thought we'd run over and killed something. After steeling myself to get out and find the body of somebody's beloved pet, I found we'd squished a bin bag. When has something turned out not as grim as you first thought?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:38)
Pages: Popular, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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I thought I'd try and get some relief from the "trolls"
by Ignoring2.0 a lot of them.
To me it seems the equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and shouting "Lalalalalalalalalaalalallaalalalaalalalalala!" as someone is talking to you.

So basically we've resorted to being badly behaved siblings. I say we cause I'm not the only 1 whose recently stuck someone on ignore.

Seeing as many of the people I enjoy troll-fighting with won't be able to see this it'll be interesting to see who replies.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 8:52, 124 replies)

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 8:58, closed)
Fucken' hell Monty
I'd completely forgotten about you!
Shit. Sorry about that.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:21, closed)
I feel left out :o(

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:26, closed)
You can be my 5th column.

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:31, closed)
Cheerz cobber!

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:48, closed)
No wucken furries, mate!

(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 10:04, closed)
Good morning as well (or evening for you)
It it just me, or is QOTW becoming something like a playgroup for little kiddies? It's almost like Shambo et al are left here by their parents as they know it will keep them off the streets.

The funniest thing is that they don't even argue about anything, it's basically all name-calling and one-upmanship.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:06, closed)
"I know you are but what am I?"
Not aimed at you KP. Of course.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:22, closed)
You smell of wee and poo

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:24, closed)
Your choice in spouse may be questionable and
you might be overweight.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:30, closed)
You are all worthless pawns that I consider to be ants
But I will invest a lot of time arguing with you and telling you how little you mean to me.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:32, closed)
My story is that I ask
what your story is with a slightly sarcastic/sardonic tone.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:37, closed)
Everything I say is witty and considerably more original than what you say.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:53, closed)
I'm looking for a pic of Steve McDonald as we speak.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:20, closed)
No, it's only funny and original when I say it.
Which dullard are you again? I'm soooo superior that you all blend into one. Although I seem to remember/search quite well if required.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:25, closed)
But search is broken you c**t!
I have an OkCupid account so therefore not only am I unfaithful to my wife but I have gone from a sex-pest to a sex offender.
Also my chin isn't that big!
EDIT: Also you take screenies where you emphasise certain words by enlarging them. That's being a boss at shopping but kinda creepy.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:31, closed)
You had better get to bed soon
Santa won't come if you're awake.
(reference to you being a child, a sex offender, or worse, ginger, here)
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:45, closed)
At least he won't stick a finger up my bum.
Cause I'm not a dog!
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:59, closed)
No, you're a sex offender because you're a rapist.
with an ugly wife.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:24, closed)
That's a pretty big accusation.

My wife is a stone, cold fox I'll have you know.
(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 10:03, closed)
shes dead?

(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 11:54, closed)
its not great
I only joined to do QOTW as some of the older threads on here are insanely funny. Now I've had to ignore so many people that out of 130 replies to one recent posting I could only see 2....

Is this some sort of troll invasion? Does anyone have a spell that works against olog-hai?
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 13:47, closed)
'tis a shame
I think people are reluctant to post anything funny about themselves because it will only attract the trolls.
Edit: And I suspect Shambolic isn't even a real doctor.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 14:38, closed)
How exactly can it be a troll invasion
when the people who are being whined about have been here since before qftw was invented and the people who are doing the whining have only been here for a year or two? Or a few weeks in your case.

The "trolls" are what are more commonly called the "regulars". The mouth-breathing pity-fiends are the invaders.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 15:00, closed)
I can't believe the patheticness of your trolling has reached such a low
You are now calling on historical precedence to justify your OCD low rent trolling.

A fuckwit no matter if they have been about for weeks or months is still a fuckwit.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 23:26, closed)
^ crying on Christmas eve ^

(, Wed 26 Dec 2012, 13:57, closed)
The good news
is that you only have to put about a dozen of the kids on ignore to lose 95% of the crap.
(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 19:42, closed)
Well I managed to fish out the last few of them, eh?

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:48, closed)
I'm here
And I don't troll!
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:12, closed)
Oh ffs!
Back to the minor leagues with you.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:18, closed)
I'll try to be more like Al or AB in the new year.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:39, closed)
So your story is you have a New Year's Resolution?
Or is it?
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:44, closed)
It can't all commedy gold like /talk is

I'm nominating Cowfoot for a special award.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:52, closed)

They're all "special", in their own little way.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:56, closed)
you are what's wrong with b3ta

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:12, closed)
micto I like on /board
don't make me ignore you here.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:00, closed)
i'm not right bothered either way
i can never tell the difference between you and the other ring of fire, and you're both basically white noise
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:09, closed)
And you were something different.
For a while.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:12, closed)
wah wah wah
if you don't like b3ta that much, fuck off somewhere else
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:14, closed)

(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 10:05, closed)
How many times do you need to be told, you dreary self-pitying fuck?
If you don't like b3ta then please feel free to fuck off back to your hole.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:18, closed)
he's ignored me now
aw bless him
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:23, closed)
I suppose that's one way to do it ... ignore every single regular contributor until it's just an empty board with him complaining about his ugly wife.
I'd have thought blogger or twitter would be easier but hey ... it's a free internet.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:32, closed)
if you're going to attempt passive-agressivism
then proofread your cutting statement before posting to make sure you didn't any words out, for fear of outing yourself as a petty, drooling belming butthurt retard.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:18, closed)
and spell 'comedy' correctly

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:00, closed)

I did prof read it, and then I thought about the sort of people who get upset by typos and left it as it is. It’s the legless defence for dyslexics.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:04, closed)

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:10, closed)
See mine & kipperfillets tete
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:11, closed)

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:15, closed)
nvm then.

(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 10:02, closed)
It really can't. You're so right.
by which I mean 'a fucking flid' x
(, Wed 26 Dec 2012, 11:54, closed)
i don't get why you're so offended by things that happen on the internet
you should get some help
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:40, closed)
Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night.
Have a good one tomorrow - I know I will.

EDIT: I'll admit I logged out - it made me smile to see Shambo refer to himself as a "regular contributor" and then claim that the internet was a competition and I was losing compared to him and others.
Thanks for the Chrissy present Shambo.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:10, closed)
... watching your ugly wife being buttsurfed by a pair of algerian sailors who couldn't whip together enough for a real whore.

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:19, closed)
hi Ringo
if you're counting the number of replies, you're gonna have to log out to see them all :)
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:27, closed)
And then he'll probably spunk all over his monitor

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 14:48, closed)
Resisting the urge to reply to this because you're ignoring me and I respect that.
Oh damn, I just went and replied to it.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 15:08, closed)

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 16:21, closed)
are you on about?
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 17:19, closed)
According to Bing auto-translate it says
"Abloobloobloobloo! I'm shit at the internet so I'm ignoring all the people who are better at the internet a boohoo a boohoohoohoohoo."
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 17:21, closed)

Wasn't that you?
(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 2:52, closed)
^ crying on Christmas morning ^

(, Wed 26 Dec 2012, 13:50, closed)
The "trolls" on here need Ignore 3.0.
Take Docter Jiambowleck for instance. Such a desperate sad act, that it deems it necessary to try and call people out for logging in and out to bypass 2.0 while feverishly doing the same itself. Ignore 3.0, once opted in, would limit its viewing to its own and approved sockpuppet's posts (AB?) as it intends and not be visible to anyone else. Same amount of "comedy" visible as it intends, more room for actual comedy for us.
(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 3:41, closed)
I hear 'outside' is lovely at this time of year.

(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 3:51, closed)
Merry christmas petal.
You angry lady on the internet. Have a good 1.

EDIT: Actually it's pretty fucking grim outside atm.

(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 3:55, closed)
Man I am so glad I live
in my 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with a pool, no mortgage, full aircon, solar panels on the roof for power, a bore, a raintank and did I mention a 44000L. saltwater pool?

I also enjoy driving my wife's SUV and my 4x4 dual cab cars around. Both of which we own outright.

I fucken hate orange juice and croissants tho!

EDIT: we're catching up with our tenant tomorrow - she's an old friend. She lives in our rental property, the one we lived in before we moved to this house. We rent it to her very cheaply but we don't need the money and we have the piece-of-mind that she's looking after the place.
Unfortunately it doesn't have a pool (or a mortgage either!) but it does have a 3-phase powered workshop which I do miss sometimes.
(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 6:31, closed)
It's been a hot, sunny day.

I did a couple of lamb roasts (a boneless leg & a rack) on the weber (kettle bbq), a couple of batches of prawns, potato & garden salad (herbs & vegies from "the garden") and some chilli mussels.
Me and the kid had a few swims - the best was probably this morning after we got back from fishing.
A quiet day - no family (the outlaws came yesterday) but a few friends round for a feed.
All in all a top notch day!

Every time I read one of the cuntiest comments some of the people here throw at me occasionally I need to remind myself that this is my reality. And despite the screams of burning rubber from Honda Accords, not 1 word of it is a lie.
Good times.
EDIT: Actually I am quite partial to croissants.
(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 11:52, closed)
I do like a man with incredibly low expectations.

(, Wed 26 Dec 2012, 14:22, closed)
It sounds amazing. I especially like the idea of a 44000 litre saltwater pool, which I assume is where your fat whale of a wife lives.
Your life sounds idyllic, waking up every morning in your dream house, deciding which of your TWO bathrooms to have a shit in, trotting down to the pool to throw a bucket of fish in for your wife's breakfast and then spending the rest of the day tending to your solar powered OkCupid profile.
(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 1:14, closed)
It's pretty clear who the bore is at your house.

(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 17:34, closed)
oh man
He's totes going to 2.0 your ass for that.

Which makes me wonder why he even bothers with B3ta.
(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 17:38, closed)
Well 2.0 clearly doesn't work.
I'm pretty sure there's a css/php trick to be logged in and logged out in different tabs - I'd say the l33t hax0r that Shambo is that's probably what he's doing.
I love that he's calling himself a "regular" here and that those of us who haven't been sad, angry little men for as long as he has are less because we haven't been around so long.
He might wish to wonder why there aren't so many "regulars" (aside from the "flies on shit" bunch) around any longer.
(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 3:54, closed)
Nail on head mate. Merry Christmas

(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 12:31, closed)
wait, so which regulars are welcome to use this free website and messageboard, and which ones aren't?
And anyway, if they no longer post then how can they be 'regulars'? Surely they are now 'former users'?

You cretinous oaf.
(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 12:34, closed)
I love your icon too plummie.

(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 12:49, closed)
Two things here Ringo:
1- You can choose to hide your icon, so no icon doesn't necessarily mean no donation.
2- There's no requirement to make a cash donation to the site; it's optional and confers no extra privileges or rights.

So, especially as you have no icon either, I fail to see your point.

Have I donated? It's the same reason as I don't discuss that time I fucked your wife. I don't like talking about my charity work.
(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 12:58, closed)
Ask yourself, do you imagine I really care whether you've donated to this site or not?
(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 13:13, closed)
You raised icons, so you tell me.

(, Tue 25 Dec 2012, 13:35, closed)
Hey, he didn't get his two bathrooms and his solar panels and his saltwater pool and his SUV and his prawns by just giving his money away to the internet.

(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 0:59, closed)
^ crying on Christmas day ^

(, Wed 26 Dec 2012, 13:51, closed)
^ cruising okCupid for a tag team partner on Boxing Day ^

(, Wed 26 Dec 2012, 14:08, closed)

I have no idea what okCupid means
(, Wed 26 Dec 2012, 14:20, closed)
I meant Ringofyre, soz

(, Wed 26 Dec 2012, 14:49, closed)
Awww man.
I totally thought I was going to get some Christmas wrestling action.
(, Wed 26 Dec 2012, 14:53, closed)
I rather think you might be having a little bit of a brainwrong.
No shame in that, it's a stressful time of year for a lot of people.

Perhaps you should go and spend some time with family and friends, and then come back to the internet in the new year, when you feel a bit better about life?
(, Wed 26 Dec 2012, 23:43, closed)
That's a bit unfair to his family and friends don't you think?

(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 1:43, closed)
Maybe you shuold read my smug posts above.
They may contain some valuable info pertaining to your suggestions.
(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 5:34, closed)
You mean the post where you express amazement at having achieved mediocrity?
Those are "smug"? I honestly thought you had achieved a moment of self-awareness and were taking the piss. That's priceless.
(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 10:27, closed)
So go and spend time *with* them
instead of telling the internet about them. Surely that would be the better option, yes?
(, Fri 28 Dec 2012, 13:39, closed)

we're catching up with our tenant tomorrow - she's an old friend.
Me and the kid had a few swims - the best was probably this morning after we got back from fishing.
A quiet day - no family (the outlaws came yesterday) but a few friends round for a feed.

& while I'm here, who the fuck is Poppet? I'm guessing that "search" working would render that question moot?
(, Sat 29 Dec 2012, 1:09, closed)

(, Sat 29 Dec 2012, 10:17, closed)
I just want to be in this thread.
It's beautiful.
(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 17:14, closed)
We should probably vote it up so that it stays around forever and ever and ever
or until next week when the Mods come to their senses and kill of qftw.
(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 17:54, closed)
the mods are not strong enough to kill ringo.

(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 19:31, closed)
oh man
This'll be the point where he gazzes me to ask me to stop talking about his wife getting fucked by strangers.
(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 21:00, closed)
i thought this was the one that fucked kids?

(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 22:25, closed)
Nah, this is the sex pest one.

(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 22:38, closed)
you know, i'm still confused plummy.
I really am, we need some sort of creepy Venn diagram.
(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 22:51, closed)
Alright Piggers
Now, this one is the Aussie swinger. He has an OKCupid account which Rory discovered after googling his username. He then went on record as saying that his wife is fine with this and that he doesn't partake. Therefore, it has been deduced that they are swingers and that he gets off on watching Mrs Fyre accept the cocks of other men. You with me?

As far as gazzing Poppet goes, I have no idea. And I have no knowledge at all of Ring of Fire, so I can't help there, soz.

I'm pretty sure Amorous Badger can give you the full lowdown.
(, Thu 27 Dec 2012, 23:03, closed)
I must ask Poppet about this.

(, Fri 28 Dec 2012, 13:40, closed)

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