serenaded
I work at my local pub, which has a karaoke night on Wednesday nights.

One night, I had a particularly lovely Canadian boy shamelessly chat me up and ask me out. As I am taken (although I am a sucker for Canadian accents... but i digress), I turned him down.

After drinking many Canadian Club and cranberries, he declared that he would sing a song just for me. "I promise you," he said solemnly, "you'll LOVE me after this."

He then got up and sang "Born to be Wild".

It was rather flattering, but I did burst out laughing at him when he returned.

Have you ever been serenaded? Alternatively, has anyone ever made a grandiose gesture to attract your affections? How did it go?
(TheChicken Five hundred thousand points from Gryffindor, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 7:07, Reply)

OCD
While playing Lego with my mates 3 year old this week, I built him an Aeroplane out of the assorted bits in the box. It was fantastic. He loved it. (no, there were no lego aeroplane kits in there, just bits of houses and fire engines etc)

The wife enquired why it took me so long, and I took so long with choosing each block.

My answer was "it needs to be symetrical so I have to choose the colours carefully".

What are your OCDs?
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 1:41, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

can't be arsed to scroll down to see if already posted
but following on from this week's surreal suggestion - what's the most inane suggestion you can think of for a question of the week?
( sir loafalot ended an eon of lurking on, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 22:26, Reply)

Hello please
Hello! I think it would be a wonderful idea to have a Question of the week about questions of the week. We could talk about that time we were all sitting around reading the question of the week. And how sometimes we read funny ones. And sometimes we read unfunny ones.

It will be a blast! Think of all the funny answers! Like this one :
"One time there was a question of the week about the first time we had sex! And it made me remember about the first time I had sex! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
(oeb, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 15:28, Reply)

QOTW Rating
How about being able to vote just how WANK this week's QOTW is? Then if there is enough common sense we can have something funny interesting and worth reading instead.

CLICK HERE if you think this QOTW blows chunks.

:P
( b3tz, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 15:20, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

How about
CD compilations and the funny stories you have regarding making them.
( Trollman, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 14:05, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Your law...
Murphy's law states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Monkeon's law states that the speed someone swims is inversely proportionate to the amount of swimming accessories they are wearing.

Thus, someone in a cap and goggles at the pool will generally be the one blocking up the whole lane by going so slow in the mistaken belief that such accessories make you go faster.

Monkeon's theory of Stereotyppery states that the louder someone talks on a bus, the more likely they are to be a stereotype of some kind.

What unproven theories does everyone else have?
( monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 14:00, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Hallucinations
While speaking to a friend recently he told me he'd just recovered from a particulary nasty virus whereby he was so ill he started hallucinating and thinking his carpet was on fire and he'd become a sumo wrestler.

This sparked much reminiscing about weird hallucinations we'd had after taking magic mushrooms at uni.

I'm sure lots of you have seen some weird things while under the influence...?
(Errorist, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 12:47, Reply)

illness
I'm currently going through a period of bizarre temperature related illness. For example, whilst feeling feverish last weekend, I took my temperature to discover it was 34.5 degrees C. Apparently I had hypothermia, which is odd as I was feeling rather warm at the time.

Although I'm not terribly interesting, I'm sure lots of people have fun stories about vomitting and diarrhoea they could tell here.
( catness, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 10:33, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Pick 'n' Mix
Write a story based on one of the many closed QOTWs. Now's your chance to post that story that you thought of weeks after the question had been closed.

When you were a newbie did you ever think "I have the perfect story for that question, too bad it's closed"? Now's your chance!

Reposts will be punishable by catapult.
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 9:20, Reply)

Music Festivals
Everybody knows the major music festivals, Glastonbury etc...

Remember mud wrestling? or Taking drugs?

Remind yourself of the good days.
(bastows, Fri 8 Feb 2008, 0:29, Reply)

I think the QOTW should be...
Something really simple and innocent that can turn into a smut fest.

How about...

'When was the last time you ended up getting the sex from a stranger, who happened to be famous and insisted you do all manner of naughty things with them?'

It'll give geeks like me the chance to try and impress people with my lady skills that don't exist in real-life but might be believed by people I don't know on the internet.

Mullered
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 16:59, Reply)

I'd like a QOTW
that's about something interesting.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 16:50, Reply)

some QOTW I'd like to see
1. unreal out of the ordinary experiences (surreal/ Bizarre/ paranormal)
2. fictional self penned Porno stories
3. stranded
4. biggest regrets/ what could have been
(The Goat www.cuttingthroughthematrix.com, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 12:42, Reply)

Dirty Habits
I have terrible habits, what are your worst or which ones do you know about?

Everyone pees in the shower right?
(turkeywelder, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 1:41, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

The Most Beautiful Thing You Have Ever Seen
What was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
Perhaps it was the first smile of your baby son or daughter, or your team winning an important match.

Alternatively it could have been those fantastic Jimmy Choos.

Or that amazing arse you peeked at in the showers at the gym....
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 18:05, Reply)

knock down ginger!
i heard this on the radio today - they were discussing the various names for it; for the unfamiliar it's the game you must have played as a kid where you knocked on a door and ran off leaving the door opener to an empty threshold... if you didn't play it then shame on you!

fecking hell - i just asked lady loaf and they "didn't call it anything" up north?!?! *snorts in derision*
( sir loafalot ended an eon of lurking on, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 17:48, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

regional words
following on from the nintendo ds not recognising dopey northerners....

i married a dopey northerner - she calls an alleyway a "ten-foot" or a snicket; calls an off licence (or offie) a "beer-off"; a woodlouse a pig (WTF?) and i had never heard the word mardy til i met her.... it certainly increased my enjoyment of those cheeky arctic's and their "mardy bum" song

i listen to the arctic monkeys you know - i'm dead cool!

what other regional terms do people use??
( sir loafalot ended an eon of lurking on, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 17:46, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Final straw

How about those little straws that broke the camel's back. What finally made you crack? I can remember doing some DIY job in the garden, I was already in a bad mood for some reason and kept dropping the screw I trying to fix a trellis up with into some bark chippings. The third time it happened I popped - I turned round in FURY and kicked a bucket half full of mixed soil, sand and compost clear across the garden.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 15:39, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Cuntish drivers
Quite often when walking about in my area (or any area actually) I've almost been run over by twats in BMWs, Mercedes or once, a beat up old Volvo who, after recieving the commonly known "wanker sign" stuck his fingers up at me after cutting a red light just as I stepped into the road.

What experiences do you have of drivers being twats?
(Belgaer is, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 14:24, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Bargains!
About two weeks ago now I was searching teh interwebz for a nice new monitor for my nice new computer when I came across one particular 19" rather nice looking monitor for £13.... on amazon.... though a re-seller. "No way" I think but still its only £13 (£20 including p&p) so I decide to buy it and see what happens....

One week later a nice large parcel arrive so I open it half expecting to find said monitor with a screwdriver firmly implanted though the screen. I open it some more (there was lots of packaging, it was from Germany and those Germans don't half know how to pack) and eventually I pull out the box a wonderful fully working brand name monitor for not £130, not £100, not even £90 or £60 but £13.

Incidentally I think it was priced wrong on their site, It probably should of been £130 but still.

Bargain, I think so! Does anyone have any amazing bargain stories?
(Rt Hon Quargflax, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 12:49, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Telephone wars
Well ive just spent 3.5 hrs on the line to BT after battling my way thru there autoshit system i get hung up on twice and so have to sit thru the ques again and one retard on the end of the phone replied to my problem as 'oo thats a bit weird' i finally gave up and complained.

Whats the worst company youve ever had to deal with? Whose telephones are answered by spotty masturbating 16 yr olds or foreigners reading from script? Tell me your horror stories so i dont feel singled out.
(Serbitar Has a furry shit canon called Whitey., Tue 5 Feb 2008, 13:41, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Shitty Valentines Days
Well, it's nearly the day for the greetings card companies' festival of tat, so how about "Worst Valentines Day Experience" as a QOTW? Worst V-day sex, dinner date, present, disasters....
(Le Misanthrope last procrastinated on, Tue 5 Feb 2008, 0:15, Reply)

the weirdest place you've ever shagged
be it in a cupboard, on a train or, like me, up a tree, i'm sure we'd all love to read them!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 23:48, 6 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Crazy Ex's
After the seemingly worrying trend of people loving the dodgy stories of pain and torment in peoples lives here on B3ta i propose a 'Crazy Ex's' QOTW

We've all had one that stood out from the rest, what is your tale of woe?
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 15:59, Reply)

Emotions
Do you know anyone where their emotions have got the better of them. Wether it be anger, happiness, upset with hilarious effect.
Coincidently do you (or are you) someone that has no emotion and won't shed a tear at a drowing kitten?
(kintore_homeboy tenuous links since 1986!, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 13:14, Reply)

I'd like to see some repeats of old QOTWs
The best ones could be redone, lots of new stories I imagine
(relentless19, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 17:05, Reply)

Your Earliest Memory
What is the first thing you remember?
( Squiggy Alloria makes theme parks., Sat 2 Feb 2008, 19:56, Reply)

Who don't you trust...
... and why? Could be someone well-known or the bloke you see every morning on the bus. Stories of rational or irrational mis-trust accepted equally.
(irv made you eat your parents in a chilli on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 15:01, Reply)