Lindsay Lohan
How about encounters with Lindsay Lohan? Maybe you have a friend who saw her once, maybe you watched one of her films or saw her on TV, or maybe she's recorded some music, it seems fairly likely, maybe you've heard it, perhaps you could say what you think about it. Maybe you haven't heard it, maybe you could expess how you feel about that. Maybe you are Lindsay Lohan and want to put the record straight about whatever you have/haven't done.
( Zuowan, Fri 9 May 2008, 13:35, Reply)

What do you want to do before you die
What is the the one big thing you'd like to do before you die? For me it's conducting the Vienna Symphony Orchestra in Mahler's 5th symphony. Or possible shagging Jeri Ryan. Tough one.
(Smale is stuffed, Fri 9 May 2008, 9:56, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

What makes you cry?
Either what can be guaranteed to leave you in floods of tears, e.g. "Zu-Zu's petals", or When did you last cry and why?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 9 May 2008, 9:01, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

What is your big science question?
I've often wondered how goldfish could have gone through millions of years of evolution without learning how to stop eating when they're full. Do you have a big science question? Or a theory that explains everything?
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Fri 9 May 2008, 8:45, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I used to know a guy with LOVE amateurly tattooed across his left knuckles
Apparently, he didn't tattoo HATE on the other knuckles because he was right-handed and only realised at that point that he couldn't finish the job.

Have you ever started something you couldn't finish?

Tell us about the hilarious consequences.
( finnbar has officially retired, Thu 8 May 2008, 22:09, Reply)

getting shut of a stalker..
Ok, it was a bit stupid at the time (and still is) here goes.

Im a solicitor(queue hatred of unimaginable quantity) and got talking on the phone to this girl who used to be connected to my firm a few hundred miles away up north. she sounded cute. she said she looked like Halle Berry - so sounded even cuter.

Arranged to meet her when up north one day. Even though i was pissed, she looked more like Chuck Berry but "what the fuck" still worth a flirt and a bit of phone sex.

A couple of weeks passed and I just got bored. I know, but the novelty just wore off and maybe i just couldnt imagine her as Halle Berry any more.

The usual "im sorry but" turned to "fuck off and stop hastling me" to inventing a girlfriend (by then i had a real one but i wasnt going to tell her i had a stalker) who even told her to fuck off. no, 10 texts a night and countless voicemail messages. nothing bad enough to tell the police and anyway the real girlfriend would find out.

So, "lets cause her inconvenience" I arranged countell (actuallt 12) meeting with her and failed to turn up at the hotel - which was hundreds of miles away from where she lived - still no effect (maybe my phone sex was that good?)

she made the mistake of emailing me from work - so i grassed her in to her boss and she got the sack

still she contacted me.

getting a bit desperate i met up with her and had the worst possible sex - as humiliting as you can. i still cringe when i think about it.

nope, still keeps on coming

the only thing that worked - bought a sim card, sent her a text pretending to be from a friend telling her "we found your name in xxxxxx's phone, we dont recognise who you are - please contact us"...she did
"im sorry, xxxxxx died in a car crash last week"

success! a month of nothing from her..though i do miss the phone sex.

any tips on chucking someone for good (short of faking death)


****edit, im running the risk that "Halle" reads this in which case, i really am dead and this has been typed through a medium ****
(sarcasminasuit, Thu 8 May 2008, 21:19, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

not enough soap in the world to get me clean
what have you done that made you feel dirty ?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 8 May 2008, 19:47, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Brilliant.
Not one "last" post this week.

Howabout "things you LOVE" sometime soon?
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 8 May 2008, 12:33, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Faux Pas.
I recently cracked a 'your mum' joke to a friend, only to instantly remember that she lost her mother to cancer when we were 13.

I can't be the only person here with foot-in-mouth disease. Make me feel better.
(Generator cannot be named for legal reasons, Thu 8 May 2008, 9:39, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Skiving bastard
I took friday off due to the fact i was injured playing hockey (what man plays hockey ffs!?) whats your latest poor exuse for skiving (and whats your best?)
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:51, Reply)

Things you have done that have made you look like a complete and utter idiot
Apologies if this has already been done - I am having a day of it!

I just cried down the phone at my boyfriend as I am having a stressful day and my speakers stopped working, and it was the last straw. I had a moment of clarity during my sobbing however - I hadn't turned my speakers on.

What things have you done to make you look like you really have no brain at all?
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:45, Reply)

When I were a young un
I would write pardodies of the films that I watched.

Indiana Scones and the Temple of the Lost Crusade, and Cretaceous Park, for example.

So, what did you do when you were a kid when it was too rainy to go out? -or something, I really have no idea where I was going with this.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 7 May 2008, 12:43, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Strange thoughts that you have
For example, due to the close proximity of Humphrey Lyttelton dying and GTA IV being released, I couldn't help but wonder what Humph would have made of it.
(Cuthbert Annihilator, Wed 7 May 2008, 3:28, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

THINGS YOU LOVE
Because there's too much hatred in the pet peeves QOTW, we need a counter balance.
( Thinker, Tue 6 May 2008, 15:51, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Crazy people
that you live with. Everybody must have somebody!
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Sun 4 May 2008, 15:16, Reply)

chavs
chavs and pikeys are all the rage right now why not have everyones run ins and encounters with them =]
(PaulGadd -, Fri 2 May 2008, 21:28, Reply)

On a school night...
On Wednesday night this week, for no good reason, I got absolutely twunted with a guy I work with. Said evening involved strippers, several bottles of Bollinger, bouncer bribery and latex gloves. Y'know, the usual. I decided to round off the night by puking somewhere in the vicinity of my bog and passing out fully clothed.

Why did I pay £20 for an ugly stripper to show me her fanny? Why did I drink till puking point? Why did I do this on a school night?

What stupidly irresponsible drinking sessions have you guys had on a school night?
(rcgeorge23, Fri 2 May 2008, 20:17, Reply)

Mayday! Mayday!
Today is May Day, so why not tell us about any "Mayday" situations you've been in? Either an emergency, or a story about dancing around a pole...
( bnt what, me worry?, Thu 1 May 2008, 18:50, Reply)

PLEASE
Can you (mods) put a cap on this for now, open up a NEW 'QOTW Suggestions' board and let people vote for it for, say, a month. Then use the top voted four for the up-coming month.

What do you say?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 1 May 2008, 17:12, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sellotape stories
Share your amusing adhesive tape stories on b3ta. It might be a long and cathartic tale about that first roll of Duck Tape you ever bought from the local hardware store and the adventures you went through together, or it could be a witty one liner about novel uses for electrical tape.

Why do I have a horrible feeling this will be taken seriously as a QOTW subject real soon?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 1 May 2008, 16:17, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Lies you have been told
That QOTW questions should be interesting and not repeated.

I am also highly aware that a lies (CV/parents)QOTW has been asked before which means I have a chance of getting picked *fingers crossed*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 1 May 2008, 14:55, Reply)

The book of mischief
Im sure as teens, most of us have come across this glorious book.

I did.

And I managed to blow up my parents oven and total a car because of it

If this gets posted I will tell the story
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Thu 1 May 2008, 13:15, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Taxi Driver
I just spent twenty minutes listening to a Taxi Driver who had almost the exact same political stance as Hitler.

But it was alright

As he ended each deeply racist comment with "but im not racist"

Have you had any odd experiences ina taxi
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Thu 1 May 2008, 13:12, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

schooldays
best days of your life, or do you thank god daily that you never need to go back?
what were your highlights and lowlights of school?

(possibly been done in weird kid in school qotw)
( ascorbate, Thu 1 May 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Slapstick Moments
Ever accidentally dropped a drink over someone's head?

Ever tripped, fallen down some stairs, rolled into a road and got hit by a car?

When I was young unstubbledchin I was having trouble working out how to operate a squirty cream bottle. When I did manage to hit the button right I was not looking where I was aiming and literally covered one of my Aunts chests in cream. She looked like she'd been doing something very rude with a horny elephant.

What situations have you been in where if you had a camcorder, you might have been £250 richer?
(stubbledchin, Thu 1 May 2008, 10:41, Reply)

LSD
Albert Hofman, who accidentally discovered LSD in 1938 died today aged 102. In memorandum, what are you most interesting/horrific acid stories?
(drshipman iz in yr shower killing yr nan, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 23:22, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Stereotypes
Confirming/Going against stereotypes...

Are ALL dykes evil? Are all corner shops run by our asian neighbours? Have you ever seen a small black cock?

Share.
(clusterfuck detesting 'length' jokes since, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 20:21, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

stupidest person you've ever
met
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:22, Reply)

Worst ever
job!
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:20, Reply)

affairs at work
or sexual attraction tension at work??
(qwertyboy, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:38, Reply)