Do ya like daags?
...you know daags!

Well? do ya?
(starbucks 'just wrong' since 1975, Mon 10 May 2004, 19:10, Reply)

Ever worked for a celeb?
A colleague of mine used to work as a janitor in a v.famous hotel in New York. During a stay by Jennifer Lopez room service requested that her suite needed the plumbing looking at due to a blocked cistern. Low and behold a massive turd complete with pebble-dashed toilet seat was preventing the thing flushing and required the rubber glove treatment to break it down into no less than three manageable flushes. The worst thing was when she checked out the tight witch left f*ck all in the way of a tip. I know this should really be appearing in the shit stories message board / celeb message board but i think this interesting combination gives a fascinating insight into the private lives of celebs and their bowel movements. Maybe you know someone who has worked in service industry with celebrities? Are there any other plumbers who have had to clean up J-Los runny shits?
(pureblue, Mon 10 May 2004, 12:45, Reply)

Im not double posting, its another day for christs sake!
How about weird name changes...oh, this is more of challange of the week.
A letter swap here, an added vowel there..to creat new amazing stuf like, Dulex paint on condoms!"
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Mon 10 May 2004, 9:52, Reply)

The rip off one's quite good..
Considering I had to pay £62.50 printing 20 pages and an a1 sheet in colour...and some didnt come out right!
Strange names that you gave people/toys/pets or other things as a kid/stoned.
I recently found an old primary school book where I had written a story about a rabbit called Spendersby...where the hell did i get Spendersby from?!?
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Sun 9 May 2004, 19:14, Reply)

reprise of foot in mouth
just had a great foot in mouth story come into my head and i see the damn topics closed.
(herby71188, Sun 9 May 2004, 15:16, Reply)

Extravagance
Big money for little things, or the converse.
Have you been ripped off or did you shred?

meh
( The Lurker Plenty One, Sun 9 May 2004, 14:46, Reply)

Holiday Hi-jinks.
In a booze related moment of madness I once climbed down from the 8th floor of a hotel using the balconys. Why? because i needed a kebab and figured it would be the fastest way down to the street. Can you beat that?
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Sat 8 May 2004, 22:54, Reply)

<<<MMM.....>>>
what about the stupidest, funniest things said during sex? or the 'delay mechanisms' (u know wat im saying) used to slow it all down,
I used to think about my garden plantpot.
(5ifty0, Sat 8 May 2004, 20:21, Reply)

I say
a better question than "what should we ask for a question of a week"
(mr.BIG I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, Sat 8 May 2004, 15:22, Reply)

Favourite Mind Games
Something I've always wanted to find out... the mind games you can play with either your friends or unwitting members of the general populace.

As an example, my friends and I were waiting around, bored, before a performance. One of my friends hid behind a conveniently placed yellow pyramid, and when somebody passed, quietly said in a French accent, "Hello, my name is Pierre, I am a talking pyramid", just loud enough to be heard without calling too much attention to him. One lady thought she was going crazy, she kept blinking and shaking her head. Hilarious.
(SumhObo, Sat 8 May 2004, 14:30, Reply)

what you said when you were ikkle
I said:
The washing-lion (washing line)
The mike you wave (microwave)
Back duvvlers (back doubles)
I like a more (I would like some more)
Oh no! (from hearing my mum and dad say it on numerous occasions when i did something bad) e.g. trampled the flowers
( ed.ge is drunk again in the rhododendrons, Sat 8 May 2004, 9:31, Reply)

UNexpected nudity
This would surely be a cracker, there are few funnier than making a naked twat of yourself! Look at Dirty Den for example!
(madamebonsoir, Fri 7 May 2004, 23:40, Reply)

quetion
what's the wierdest thing you've ever done to stop yourself being bored.

I have a boring job. when I was eighteen it was even more boring so me and a mate would compete in any thing to try and kill the boredom. The best one was wanking all over the bosses dest before he came back from the toilet. Sick i know but we were so bored!!!
(I've done it so many times it's boring now..., Fri 7 May 2004, 15:52, Reply)

what are your fetishes
easy, what are your fetishes?
(ameoba photographer for hire, cheap, see profile, Fri 7 May 2004, 7:10, Reply)

Mad families
Families that you encounter,that share some bizarre eccentricity (which they all find normal).I think of it because I had a girlfriend once who watched the television sideways out of the corner of her eye.The whole family shared this trait .I can't describe how unsettling it is to watch telly in a room full of people all pretending to look at something else.
(pikey, Fri 7 May 2004, 1:50, Reply)

Animal incidents
Whether you had to deal with a dog humping your leg or biting you in the arse, it should make for a good story.
(DeadCats, Thu 6 May 2004, 22:05, Reply)

Another Idea...Things that work in special ways
Or how they arnt suposed to...from talking toys that say the wrong thing to vending machines that you kick to work. Or maybe things like a screwdriver that u use to start the cr with.
Theres a lift in the main uni building (there are 3, one is broke) that you have to jump in the top left corner to get it to work. Oh and the tv/vhs player at home we have to use a knife to get the video out.
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 6 May 2004, 18:37, Reply)

wanking! wanking!
seriously, i could give you about a million amazing anecdotes involving this brilliant gift from god, but i'll only say them if the question is accepted!

seriously- you'd be amazed!


AMAZED!
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 6 May 2004, 17:13, Reply)

i agree with amazongirl!
strange turn-ons all the way!
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 6 May 2004, 17:11, Reply)

What is the stupidest place name you know?
Ok so I've driven through Pratt's Bottom, went out with a girl from Much Hadham and had a quiet time in Mumbles - where have you been?
( Fetid Cheese, Thu 6 May 2004, 16:48, Reply)

Strange turn ons
Weird things that turn/ have turned you on in the past...Or odd situations you've got all quivery. Hopefully no one found goatsy arousing.
Only if this question is asked i will say my embarasing moments ive never told anyone!
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 6 May 2004, 16:46, Reply)

Whats the craziest conversation you have had.............
Whats the craziest conversation you have had whilst under the influence of booze, but mainly narcotics with your pals.

One Sunday morning we were all nutted after a night out clubbing and we all worked out that aliens were ourselves from the future, time travelling back to see the mistakes we made. We worked out that the big oval eyes and long fingers were due to our bodies changing over centuries of computer use and the funny skin colour was due food additives and pollution.

As you can see we took way too many magic beans.
(manny fagnet, Thu 6 May 2004, 14:19, Reply)

Unwitting stooges
One of my favourite things is when someone enters a conversation/situation halfway through without knowing the score and proceeds to say something that makes them look like the biggest twat ever.

e.g. - Auntie cooking food in kitchen, rest of us in living room. I fart and it smells unpleasant. Cousin walks into living room and says "Smells nice, when's it ready?"
( magicbaboon, Thu 6 May 2004, 4:49, Reply)

here s a goodie
If you were in a trapped by 5 dominatrixes and then they put you in a cage, and had alligators laying everywhere, what would you do?
(erotic cakes, Thu 6 May 2004, 4:09, Reply)

Babies
Send in baby photos. Which baby do you think will grow up to be the fittest?
(bionic_pigeon, Wed 5 May 2004, 20:11, Reply)

errr...
Who is the best b3tan(not yourself) and why?
(Randoman, Wed 5 May 2004, 17:14, Reply)

aaarrgh!
What is the most terrifying thing you've ever seen?
(meatatarian!, Tue 4 May 2004, 13:45, Reply)

Dangerwanks
What ridiculous places or circumstances have people had one off the wrist?
(Elmintrude has lumps of it round the back, Mon 3 May 2004, 14:59, Reply)

crap claims to fame ??
you ever met a minor celebrity or been the talk of a small town ??
I was out last night watching the Beta band. my mates cousin is in the band and we were talking with him afterwards and he told us that our planned move to France was the hot topic of conversation in Fife.

Also you ever not really met a crap celeb ?? I have been to 2 events with David Bellamy (the second one there were only 10 of us) yet have never said a word to him..
(tufty the chav slayer, Sun 2 May 2004, 7:21, Reply)

The Things Kids say....
Cliched I know, but kids are a mine of fun. My youngest favourite saying at the moment is "Oi, Biggy Ass". I wish I was 3 again.
( Misterk1973 been a hanging around these here parts since, Fri 30 Apr 2004, 19:10, Reply)