Crap gadgets redux. Stuff that goes beep.
Browsing ebay, there is a plethora of cheap tat. Android tablets that barely work, cheap mini-netbooks running WinCE, cheap dual SIM phones with added television, USB toys.
What is the most useless electronic gadget thingy you've bought and been disappointed with.
Bonus marks if you've hacked the gadget in question to actually do something vaguely useful.
( moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Demonstrations, rallies etc.
Studenty types etc often get all hot under the collar and thrust forth with neophytic zeal, demonstrating against anything they can. What have you attended?
I'll hold my hand up to attending Rock Against Racism, CND, Poll Tax abolition and Legalise Cannabis, though that day was a bit hazy.
Whether we achieved anything or not is not the issue.
Bonus points if you went along for the music or to get a shag.
Double bonus if you got arrested
( moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:48, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Dormitories
I once lent my Nokia phone charger to a Dutch backpacker in a Mumbai hostel. He fiddled with it for an hour and returned it saying it wasn't working. I got him to repeat what he did- he plugged it into the socket and waited for it to charge his phone. I turned the switch on.
(aliantartic hasn't been spotted on the island since, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 20:10, Reply)

Those little pens you get in argos and that.
They're well annoying, right? Tell us about how tiny your pen is.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:18, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Unintentional Racism
I once had a Brit buyer who was touring the local factories with my team and went onto lecture us about how people in the sub-continent are "hot blooded" and hence are better equipped to deal with the inconsolable heat, as opposed to the white people who are "cold blooded".

Eventually it dawned upon her that she was the only white person in the van.
(aliantartic hasn't been spotted on the island since, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:30, Reply)

Fights you didn't win.

( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Wed 21 Sep 2011, 15:14, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

How hard can it be?
Turn into Jeremy Clarkson for a moment, and tell us about the things that are so obviously wrong with the world, and how they should be fixed. Extra points for ludicrous over-simplification, blatant mis-representation, and humourous knob-gags involving the word "hard".
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 10:00, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Things about your partner....
...that you should change your user name before posting for fear of their discovering you said it
(joe is troubled Got all married and teh stuffs, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 22:24, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

I can't believe I said that!
Tell us your tales of when you Freudian Slipped, said the wrong thing at the wrong time or generally put your foot in it...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:19, Reply)

I never, honest
Awful, terrible things you have definitely never done.

But secretly have.
( chthonic, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Things i have won
just this week on Tuesday i won a competition .
I bought tickets for the touring car race at Rockingham and won a chance to race in the cliocup, the compitition was called dreamdrive and 10 people got selected and the fastest on the day got through to race in the big day, we had laps in mini cooper's' v8 supercars and the cliocup car aswell .
awesome doesnt even come close to describe and we get to be on telly on itv4.

thats what i won, now tell us what you have one or what you thought you had won but hadnt
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Sun 11 Sep 2011, 21:33, Reply)

Surreal moments
When have you stopped, looked around, and thought "This is just plain strange".
( MatJ LOOK, Sun 11 Sep 2011, 14:22, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Top Traumas
Arriving back from a longish holiday, I went down the local to discover it had gone 'gastro'. What's the most traumatic thing to have happened to you, recently?
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Sun 11 Sep 2011, 8:45, Reply)

What is the most stupid thing you have ever done with your genitals?
My brother once rolled back his foreskin and pressed his bellend to a lightbulb. He was only 4 mind you.
(DubstepBetty Down wiv der kids since 1972, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 2:18, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Stupidest question you've ever been asked
This prodded towards me via Twitter:

"Ah, you are English.. From England.. You speak English, yes? Do you know the Queen?"

I've had worse.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:44, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

The first time you felt like a grown up
Mine was when I first did my shopping with a trolley, on my own. Ahhh...those were the days.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

The b3ta census
The official census earlier my be good for invading your privacy and tracking the unstoppable rise of the jedi faith in the UK. But other than that its not much good for anything.

This is why we should have a QTOW dedicated to a series of polls where you can find out what really matters in 2011: Hobnobs or digestives?, Weekly spending on massive drugs, daddy or chips? average number of legs, and of course anal fisting or feltching?

If you don't like those mini polls you could make a poll for that too.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 20:20, Reply)

Today would have been my Dad's 75th birthday...
...if he hadn't died in 1989, that is.

So, in the tradition of those lazy 20 questions articles from the Sunday supplements, name something dead that you'd like to bring back to life, and why.

My answer today would be my dad, obviously, though my answer on another day might be different and yours might be funnier. (Your answer, not your dad - mine was pretty funny.)
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Stupid things you've done with an ex after a break up
I'll start. She broke up with me one December night, snowing heavily. Let her stay the night (stupid thing #1), then dug her car out of the snow in the morning (stupid thing #2).

Weeks later, we saw each other again, and I ended up sticking a finger up her nose in an attempt to remove a stud from her newly-pierced nose before a job interview (stupid thing #3), after she'd told me she'd cheated.
(retrac fumble in the jungle, Sun 4 Sep 2011, 16:48, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Weddings
Because I've had to go to seven this summer, so I might as well get a question out of it.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Abusing the disabled.
I don't have a story of my own, I was just trying to think of something that could guarantee some decently offensive replies.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:20, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Have you ever had your heart broken...?
Have you had your heart cut out, stomped on, garnished with salt & pepper, put on a silver plate and handed back to you? If so, why not tell us about it? It might provide us with some entertainment...!
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Mon 29 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)

What's made you really cringe to the point of wanting to run round the room freaking out and bang your head against a wall?
For me it was when I got shown "One Man One Jar" by a very sick minded friend. That and cutting shop bought mirangue nests with a spoon
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 29 Aug 2011, 6:47, Reply)

If we lose freedom here there's no place to escape to. This is the last stand on Earth...
When was the last time you stood up for what was right? Maybe you berated the person who pushed in your queue? Or maybe you petitioned to stop some bastard council shutting down a local community centre?

Tell us about the times you said "I'm mad as Hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Fri 26 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Sports Disasters
I am not giving up on this idea...the intersection of the Ven Diagram of 'B3tans' and 'Sports Successes' must be small, meaning that the disasters must be immense.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:37, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Misjudgments
Last week, I wrote on someone at work's leaving card 'Don't expect to come back here, tail between your legs, if it doesn't work out. We don't forget!'

She cried, and I got told off by HR. Oops. When have you go hopelessly misjudged a situation?
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 10:37, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Chat up lines.
Tell us stories of seduction, successful or otherwise.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Pearoast week
Everyone post their favourite stories from previous QOTW. It'd be a bit like watching Dave.

*no one vote for this, it's a crap idea, I was just being stupid
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 7:41, Reply)

Misleading jobs
I once met a girl who claimed to be a Food Technologist. Did her job involve using science and technology to create wonderful new gastronomic creations?

Did it fuck. Apparently she taste-tested mayonnaise for motorway service station sandwiches. Tell us about jobs which aren't as glamorous as they sound.
(square go, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 18:19, 1 reply, 13 years ago)