Stupid things to impress someone
What is the stupidest thing you have ever done to impress a GF/BF?
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 17:15, Reply)

Sometimes
I like to hang around hospital carparks and steal mobiles from the docters and give out phoney medical advice.
Whats the worst peice of advice you've ever given to someone?
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 13:14, Reply)

What's the funniest story you can share with us
that involves a funeral or death

My own example includes my Mothers wake and a few helium balloons but I'll save it in case I need it one day for QotW
(SunniTara, Wed 2 Mar 2005, 1:07, Reply)

Arrghhh!
How about `What corporate buzzword or phrase makes you want to kill the speaker?'
(Audax, Tue 1 Mar 2005, 23:12, Reply)

For balance
What about those little things that really turn you off? Example: My pal can't get horny if she can she her boyfriend's feet.
(greenycrimson I stole the from pyschotherapist, Tue 1 Mar 2005, 15:40, Reply)

strangest injury
i dunno if its been posted yet.
but my weirdest injury happened 2 days ago when i decided not to take a shit for a few days while staying over at a friends house. it got big and hard and dry. pushing that thing resulted in a piece of flesh going down the toilet. i now have my period from both ends today.

i just felt like sharing this and appoligies for length.
(la folle, Tue 1 Mar 2005, 7:11, Reply)

karma
How about Whats The Most Embarrassing Thing You Thought You'd Got Away With That Came Back And Bit You In The Arse. Should produce some good skeleton/closet answers.
(bronz, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 19:22, Reply)

Best clean joke
We all know tons of bawdy/gross/un-PC jokes. But ever been stumped for one you could tell your kids or your grandparents?

Let's update our clean joke files!
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Mon 28 Feb 2005, 15:20, Reply)

Purity tests
We've all seen them, but what question would you consider not answering truthfully because it's way too fucked up.

There would be quite a few, I'm sure.
(BiggusBaddus, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 21:49, Reply)

my suggestion
why are chickens and cheese just hilarious?
(baggies_emma, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 21:39, Reply)

what's the longest journey home you've ever had?
simple question, long answers... maybe not a great recipe.
(Tarka_the_Frotter, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 17:17, Reply)

Meeting the Reaper
What is the closest brush with death you have ever had? Have you ever felt a man with a cowl and a scythe standing over your left shoulder?
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Wed 23 Feb 2005, 21:52, Reply)

As this weeks question was 'what turns you on?'
How about 'What turns you off?'

Let me tell you, I once had a GF that had a hygiene issue down below and she was ginger - put me right off for years. I'm much better now thanks to the therapy.
( Goldfish_, Wed 23 Feb 2005, 11:45, Reply)

Spazziness
We've all fallen over in public, or destroyed something with our butterfingers. Stories relating to these areas would be rather captivating...
( Fictional Emma, Tue 22 Feb 2005, 23:40, Reply)

Not all English is Created Equal!
We speak a funny language: spoken everywhere, but not the same anywhere. Has a South African ever asked for your "stiffie"? Do Australians laugh when you tell them you wear a "fanny pack" when you go out for the evening (not to mention that you buy your candy at Fanny Farmer)? Was something so funny an American Southerner was "like to fall out"?

How about sharing little dialect mix-ups?
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Tue 22 Feb 2005, 21:19, Reply)

Waking up
What is teh most interesting situation you have ever woken up in?
(CookedGryphon, Tue 22 Feb 2005, 19:31, Reply)

Brushes with greatness/infamy?
I have a freaky Una-bomber story I'm dying to tell!

How 'bout it?
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Tue 22 Feb 2005, 15:21, Reply)

Your first time
When was the first time you experienced pornography, and what was your reaction?

Were you appalled (eeeww, gross!), intrigued (I feel funny but I like it!), psychologically scarred (OMG, do my parents do this?!), instantly addicted (MORE DAMMIT I NEED ME SOME MORE!!)?
(Kitsune-chan I'm not a bunny I'm a grownup girl, Tue 22 Feb 2005, 1:20, Reply)

What's the worst comeback you ever made?
Should be a funny one.
(Dr. Nelly Lemon, Mon 21 Feb 2005, 23:34, Reply)

whats the best way
to surprise a nun?

hiccup cures?
(jms, Mon 21 Feb 2005, 20:03, Reply)

Bestest celebrity insults?
Surely everyone has managed to piss off a minor celebrity somewhere?

One of the Atomic Kitten in Whsmiths... I told her to get fecked... (not very good but she looked pissed off and it cheered up my day!)
(Kayozz, Mon 21 Feb 2005, 16:43, Reply)

Inappropriate songs
I had to have emergency caesarian sections for both our boys. When I was wheeled into theatre for the operation for the youngest one they had a CD on full blast. The music? The Prodigy's "Breathe".
I suppose it could have been worse - it could have been "Smack my bitch up"...
I often wonder if that's why the boy is so manic these days..
( Wifey, Mon 21 Feb 2005, 12:10, Reply)

i've two
1. most embarassing moments (not just injuries like the past one)
2. the most illegal thing you've ever done
(dr3wrocks, Mon 21 Feb 2005, 4:30, Reply)

Shortest relationship?
... and I don't mean when you go out to a club for a sh*g.

I had a girlfriend (she said she was) and we had our first date. It all went very well until it came for us to go our seperate ways. Turns out, after two hours in a relationship with me, she went running back to her ex-boyfriend and 'carried on where she left off'.

Never got the hang of women really!
(David S Green, Sun 20 Feb 2005, 17:40, Reply)

...
Well-earned nicknames: Do you have any nicknames that have a rather strange backstory? I was called Mony for half my life, due to a slip of the tongue on 1- hear it, 1- occasion. Curse you, elder sister. Curse you.
(ZooLurker is an angry chick with a mullet!, Sun 20 Feb 2005, 1:45, Reply)

Chav speak
Whats the strangest insult a chav has ever thrown at you? For example, while working in sainsburys I caught a couple of spides (chavs in N.Ireland) shoplifting, as I threw them out I was told to:
"away stick a ticket in a helicpoter!"
and was told I was a:
"week reely jazzy jeff donkey!"

Anyone else?
( Bamboo Steamer, Fri 18 Feb 2005, 10:23, Reply)

Driving test/lessons
please please everyone has a funny story of a drving test/lesson
(Statt0, Fri 18 Feb 2005, 10:04, Reply)

Pet Stories
Your favorite story involving pets (or animals in general).
(Kitsune-chan I'm not a bunny I'm a grownup girl, Fri 18 Feb 2005, 9:09, Reply)

Useful and Stolen
What items have you taken without permission that you still use to this day?

Me: A few bits of jewelry that belonged to my mom. She forgave me when I pointed out that 1) she hadn't worn or even seen them in 20 years, 2) they were too small and didn't fit her anymore, 3) they look better on me anyway.
(Kitsune-chan I'm not a bunny I'm a grownup girl, Thu 17 Feb 2005, 20:10, Reply)

Prizes that went wrong
Has anyone ever won something and then had something go wrong with it?

A woman I knew was really chuffed when she won a trip to New York on This Morning (in England) with £1000 spending money and helicopter ride over the Statue of Liberty. So at the beginning of September 2001 off she went, no prizes for guessing what ballsed it up for her.

She ended up staying an extra week at her own expense until the flights were allowed to take off again, I think she spent over £2000 of her own money, not including the £1000 she won as part of the trip.
(Lord of my Ring, Thu 17 Feb 2005, 16:44, Reply)