My grandad had a black labrador
I adored this dog and used to take him to the park for a run.

When it was time to go and I had to call him, I amended the first letter of his name from an "N", so I used to shout "DIGGER!".
( Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 18:28, 2 replies)

I'll never forget that Christmas when...
...my Grandmother was telling all who would listen that they shouldn't let ANY foreigners into this country, dirty sponging bastards the lot of them. She had full agreement from Grandad. That'll be Grandad from southern Italy who was brought over as a PoW (rumour has it that his bags had been packed for three days by the time the English turned up) and hadn't really left.
(slocey doesn't get out often, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 18:11, Reply)

sorry but
www.b3ta.com/questions/grandparents/post1230054

Ignore the Nan bit.

So Janet you had a Aunt? Well done you fucko cunt
( sutit only the crumbliest, flakiest posts, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 17:52, 13 replies)

My Nan
Used to wear a tiny mini-skirt that showed her stocking tops.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 17:46, 5 replies)

My racist Grandad
One of my Grandads was a terrible racist, who frequently referred to my Chinese housemate at uni as (famous prostitute) Susie Wong to her face. No amount of explaining how offensive this was would make him stop.

He hated anyone from the Indian subcontinent particularly, referring to them as "dirty serfs who smell funny", and refused to visit his new GP when he found out he was a Sikh. He died at the ripe old age of 100, offering his bigoted disdain to the carers who came in to wash and feed him to the very end. We had to pay a lot of extra sweeteners to keep them coming. I suspect some of them were stealing from him but I didn't blame them at all. He was a racist, sexist* git. (* Once asked me why I was bothering to go to university and get a degree since as a girl I was taking up a valuable space that would be wasted when I got married and had kids).

He worked for most of his life for a bus company in the East Midlands, including during WW2 when he remained home in his "reserved" occupation. He became a manager in the 50s, and refused to allow non-Caucasians to work as conductors or drivers for his company on the grounds that they weren't smart enough to be given the responsibility. One day in the late 80s, someone actually took him to a disciplinary tribunal over this, which he looked sure to lose until it was revealed that the claimant had lied on their application form about a qualification they had. The case was thrown out, and he held a little victory party at his (all-white) bowls club to celebrate. When I talked to him about it afterwards, he informed me triumphantly that, "Just goes to prove what I've always told you - you can't trust a darkie".

For balance, my other Grandad left Leeds to go to Burma in the war, returning home with a fixed belief that "folk are folk wherever you go, no matter what colour their skin is, they've all got kids and they all like a joke and a song" along with a strong appreciation for curry. He was lovely and I miss him greatly.
(L_J be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 17:08, 4 replies)

Racist Boyfriend
Some time ago I was reunited with an ex boyfriend who had suffered a stroke. It had affected his memory so had forgotten what a cunt he was to me .....so being the 'forgiving type' I helped him out for a while with paperwork, banking and the like as he had lost his ability to read. We were walking through the local shopping centre ( ok it was Milton Keynes) when he announced to the world that fucking boo boo's got in the way and that they should fuck off back to boo boo land. It transpired that 'boo boo's 'were his name for African people as their accent sounded unintelligible to him due to his stroke. It also transpired he had a thing about Indians and Pakistani people and the irish... pretty much the whole worlds nationalities, and pretty much anyone he didn't know.
He is West Indian, and an illegal immigrant, and living off the social. He is a twat.I don't speak to him anymore.
(Jessypuss Fiddling with stuff since 1957, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 17:00, 3 replies)

Putting the 'mental' in judgemental
Mrs Spimfs old gran was bonkers. Example you say? I once saw a picture of her 'sunbathing' on Blackpool beach in the 70's wearing a one piece bathing costume, sunglasses, a plastic flowery shower cap, tights and high heels whilst clutching a big 'I'm the Queen' style hard case snappy handbag. She carried the bag everywhere because it usually contained hundreds if not thousands of pounds - banks were dismissed as 'conniving bastards' (maybe some of her ideas were actually quite sound in retrospect).

Eccentric/judgemental behaviour included spitting on the paper if she opened it on page 3, yes spitting ON the newspaper, her own newspaper. Aside from having once chased a women down the beach in Guernsey for having the effrontery to sunbathe topless and the notion that 'spastics' should be 'put down at birth' some of her other opinions were at best novel...

Her casual racism included a monumental mistrust of Jews to the extent she thought 'the Nazi's had the right idea' this was however slightly at odds with her assertion that all Germans were 'murdering bastards' (Japanese were slitty eyed wee murdering bastards).

But it was her attitude to black people that amused me most. She would look at a perfectly happy black family and with genuine pity and comment:

"poor souls, I suppose they have to live too"
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 16:57, Reply)

My mother
(and therefore my children's grandmother, pedants) did once suggest that most of the ills in my neck of the woods were down to the influx of 'English and other dregs from around Europe' . My English wife being part of this conversation didn't seem to throw her off her stride and she continued in this vein for some time despite me trying subtley to tell her to button it and then when that failed actually telling her to button it.

With age comes great wisdom...and great bigotry and ignorance too apparently.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 28 Oct 2011, 16:53, 5 replies)

Budgies
My good Irish, Catholic Grandfather taught his budgie to shout "FUCK THE POPE!" because he didn't like the local priest.

And he let my dad take the blame for a good 20 years before admitting it.

I miss that legendary ol' bugger.
(Kushan just wants to fit in..to your mum, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 16:53, 2 replies)

So...
me, The Lovely Mrs Ring Of Fire and our girl where on a train to York when a load of Football fans got on. With glances over to my family a group of them decided now was the time to go through their repertoire of racist jokes and comments. Within a few minutes my little girl had been introduced to some new words, sambo, nigger, wog, coon. I asked them to stop, we tried to move but the way was blocked, threats where made. Each joke teller was trying to push the boundary, there were jokes with niggers being hanged from trees, drowning wogs, burning black men....just jokes mind.

And that was the day the world became a bit of a nastier place for my little girl, when she realised that she was second class, subhuman in some peoples eyes.

Now we've taken a corner of the internet that's supposed to be a bit of a laugh and polluted it with this shit. Forever in the archives and being returned in searches.

Some of the worst posts have disappeared, but there's still much shit on here that was pretty much word for word, on the list of jokes from those guys.

And that's why I don't like it.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 28 Oct 2011, 16:40, 44 replies)

Wait a cotton pickin' minute
My grandma was a keen sewer, kintter, and everything of that ilk. OFten we'd receive 'beautiful' items of knitwear for Christmas, items that itched like someone had poured louse eggs all over them.

Anyway, my grandad, the good man that he was, always ensured his wife had the supplies she needed to keep us all in itchy woolen clothes.

One sunny summer holiday afternoon, while I was abandoned at my grandparents' house, I was sent to Woolworths to buy some "nigger brown thread". Even at that age my jaw hit the floor.

He was a good man, he didn't even realise he was being racist, it was just a colour of thread to him. I never did manage to get him try pasta though.
( Charliemouse, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 16:35, Reply)

The British government
paid my grandfather to shoot Germans.

Institutional racism at its worst, I feel.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 16:30, 2 replies)

Racist scrabble
I go on holiday to the Isle of Wight once a year with my Grandad, Mum & girlfriend.

My Grandad is 94 still mentally sharp & loves a game of Scrabble.

One evening we were playing a closely contested game & he put Coon down.

My girlfriend was a little bit shocked & said to him that Coon was not an acceptable word as it was racist so he wasn’t allowed it.

His reply was “but it’s on a triple word score & its only another name for a darky”.
(sleepmonkey, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Terror
When discussing terrorism one Christmas (as you do) the subject of the wrongful accusation of young asian males came up. From a brandy fuelled haze my dozing Grandfather blurted out: "Hitler had the right idea... concentration camps for the lot of them... bloody pakis!".
( armaitus Sheep Casings!, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 16:21, Reply)

not a grandparent...
...but my stepdad. He can be a really nice guy sometimes, but he is the most massive racist I've ever had the misfortune to meet. He votes BNP and frequently goes off on massive rants about our Islamic brethren and other "ethnics"

He really surpassed himself the time we were is asda and he proclaimed: "My hand smells of curry. I wonder if a pa*i had hold of this basket before me." Really loudly though.

*sigh*
(fuzzyjumpers savaged a lion on, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 16:15, Reply)

stolen from somewhere
When you're hot you go red.
When you're cold you go blue.
When you're sick you go green.
When you're angry you go purple.
When you're shocked you go white.

Whether i'm hot, cold, sick, angry or shocked i'm always black, but YOU call ME COLOURED?!

Oh, just to make it fit, all of my grandparents and numerous others in my family are racist to some degree. I just pity their fucking ignorance. My current job has of working with every race, creed, religion and colour I could think of and I rate every single person there at least ten times higher than some of the (caucasian - like me) dolescum i'm aquainted with outside work.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 16:01, 1 reply)

My Grandparents
My Grandparents are Irish and they fucking LOVE potatoes!

Saying that, I'm Irish and I love potatoes too.

I think I may have missed the point...can you repeat the question?
(Thebigfella, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 15:38, 3 replies)

mouthfoot moment
My Father in law (grandpa to my kids so it's OK) is always making derogatory comments about his fellow humans, especially anyone from eastern Europe, India, Asia, Africa... Oh wait - it's just everyone who isn't totally caucasian and from England.

The funny thing is he's a very intelligent bloke but he and his wife are proper daily haters. I have to bite my tongue every time we go and see them - experience has taught me it's not a good idea to pick him up on it. He knows how I feel and I never agree with him but I don't usually start arguments about it.

I'd been doing fairly well for a few years when we visited for post Christmas drinks. I was feeling nicely tipsy as I wandered into their kitchen for a top-up. He started talking about his bowling club and what a bunch of fascists they were.

He said that the chairman was 'really racist' at which point I chipped in with 'cor - that's really something coming from you!'

Needless to say there was a moment of shocked silence before I decided I could do without a top-up, mumbled an apology and shuffled off.
(teasus likes tea, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Is putting .....
a pink flesh coloured fabric plaster onto a darker raced skin by teachers at school or somewhere going to be seen as racist soon?

erm..... my nan just asked.
( RudieSeventyOne The self styled king of un-originality since, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 14:33, 8 replies)

My hilarious and highly original story about racism.
When I was a student, the local police tried to arrest a man on our doorstep for the crime of "wasting white mans electricity", but it turned out the cop was wearing sunglasses and the guy on the doorstep was a white guy wearing leather gloves who was delivering me a Ford Tippex i'd won in a competition about Cornflakes!

Btw, joke in joke, I nearly didn't win the competition as I was originaly a word short!
( Dervel OTBC, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 14:30, 3 replies)

Little Black Sambo
When I was little, one of my favourite books was the story of Little Black Sambo. From memory, I think his mum was Black Mumbo and his dad Black Jumbo. Maybe because I grew up with this book, I don't see it as racist - after all the boy is the hero of the story, outsmarts 4 tigers, gets his new clothes back, and ate lots of pancakes at the end. Coming from my (somewhat) poor white kid background, I wished I was him.

Unsurprisingly, it has been heavily revised since its original version.

I still think it is a top book - good story, good pace to the tale, clear pictures. So I read the original to my own kids - hope they don't say something by mistake at school and get in trouble.


PS I just found out it has its own wiki page - original 1899, and used to be on recommended reading lists so some of you may know it
PPS If you are wondering how this ties to grandparents, I reckon the book I had came from my grandparents. Plus it was read to me by my kids grandparents, so the chain is going strong
PPPS I have realised I am turning into my parents - this may not be a good thing
(Skippyfillet, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 14:30, 3 replies)

Needs more kitties.

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 28 Oct 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Trans-species racism
The delightful old lady next door to us, who over 80 and still sharp and spritely, was telling us one day about the dog she used to have. A fine bitch it was. That bitch was always so nice, and she would take that bitch down to the creek etc etc.

I am certain I have never heard the word bitch mentioned so many times within 3 minutes, as I stood and listened and cringed. I'm sure any casual passerby would have taken offence, so I think that fits neatly into this week's question.
(Skippyfillet, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 14:13, 4 replies)

My Gran used to swear by this frozen fruit treat.





I was offended by her racist attitude and so I killed her.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 14:13, 1 reply)

I don't know if Jed Babbin is a grand parent
But I'm reminded of one of my favourite quotes of all time:

"You know frankly, going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion...": Jed Babbin
( <>Dog www.stevelaker.blog, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 14:10, 1 reply)

Brixton briefcase
When I was about 14 (back in 1984), I had a rather large, portable stereo cassette player. Those of a certain age (mine) will recall that these were sometimes referred to as Brixton briefcases, or wog boxes. To place the second term into some context for the younger readers, the 1970s and early '80s were a time when racism was somehow more acceptable than it is today: a lot of TV comedy was based around racial stereotypes and a lot of peer banter was based upon one's most distinguishing features (big nose, shorty, ginge etc.) The point that I'm trying to make is that "wog box" was an accepted term.

Now I tended to speak to my parents in much the same way I did my mates and therefore thought nothing of referring to my wog box in any other way than that. So as far as far as my dear old mum was concerned, that's what they were called. I don't know if she thought it was a brand name or something but she'd not heard such a device being referred to as "A stereo cassette player", always "wog box".

Then one day, she decided that she'd like a portable music device like mine, for listening to cassettes in the garden. So off she went to Dixons and therein politely enquired, "Could I see your wog boxes please?"
( <>Dog www.stevelaker.blog, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 14:05, 3 replies)

my nana hates
darkies
nig-nogs
wogs
malteser heads
spicks
spades
chinks
ragheads
etc

LOL
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 13:57, 5 replies)