You ever seen
Stevie Wonders wife? Neither has he.
(Eumphazard, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:53, Reply)

what do you do if you see a nigger walking down the street with a bullet wound
reload

why do niggers wear baggy trousers?
because their negros

what do you call a pool full of retards
vegetable soup

whats the black boy next door getting for christmas
your bike
( lo, the Greebo Warrior - Est. 2002, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:53, Reply)

We're so going to hell for this.
Well, it's like you asking to be kicked in the nuts, and I just happen to be wearing steel toed boots. Here goes.

What do you call a queer in a wheel chair?
Roll aids.
(Cloven, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:51, Reply)

I think we may have saturated the world's sickest joke subject
But here's one more for fun:

What's the difference between Lady Di and Michael Hutchence?

Michael Hutchence was wearing his belt...
(lat297, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:51, Reply)

I'm quite disgusted
by all of these concentration camp jokes. My grandad died at Auswitch.

He fell out of his guard tower.
(Eumphazard, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:50, Reply)

Yes, most of these have probably been posted but I'm at work so can't trawl...
What's blue and doesn't fit?

A dead epileptic.
( man/child/goblin should be old enough to know better by now, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:49, Reply)

It's all Greek to me
What's the difference between Hitler and Paula Radcliffe?

At least Hilter tried to finish a race
(Gomi No Sensei, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:49, Reply)

how many women does it take to decorate a room?
it depends how thinly you slice them

how do all racist jokes start?
with a look over the shoulder
( lo, the Greebo Warrior - Est. 2002, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:49, Reply)

Mr shiny rob person please *waves hand in air*
Is there any way of stopping people wasting copious amounts of your lovely site's space by moaning about repetition?

Yes, its annoying, but its Friday, and I'd rather read repeated sick jokes that are funny than rants that are, frankly, a bit psychotic and scary. Really. I had a bad night with horrible nightmares, and they're not helping.

Thank you muchly. That is all.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:48, Reply)

yiddos
How many Jews can you fit in a mini?

2 in the front, 2 in the back and 6 million in the ashtray.


Been done before surely, nbut I can't be bothered to check either.
(yiddo, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:48, Reply)

When overhearing anybody talking about the plight of the Jews during WW2...
My grandfather died in Auschwitz!

...pause for effect...

He was drunk and he fell out of the guard tower!

badoom-tish!
( man/child/goblin should be old enough to know better by now, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:46, Reply)

It's been a week since Freddy Mercury's funeral and his boyfriend walks into the local curry house, carrying Freddy's ashes in an urn.
Waiter "how can I help you sir?"
Boyfriend "I would like you to make me the hottest curry and can you please mix Freddy's ashes in with it."
Waiter " of course, but why would you want me to do that?"
Boyfriend "So that I can feel Freddy slip out my arse just one more time"
(BadgerPirate, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:45, Reply)

Whats the worst thing about getting a lung transplant ???
Coughing up someone elses phlegm...........

Why do women rub their eyes firs thing in the morning ???

Cause they dont have balls to scratch !!!!
(Funkwomble XBL and PSN DangerBoy73, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:45, Reply)

Three men are filling out a sex survay
They get to the last question which reads:

"When Masturbating, what do you hold in your other hand"

They all think hard, and the first writes "A photo of my wife, naked.", the second writes "A copy of Razzle" and the third guy writers "A sponge".

The analist is intregued by the third mans answer and phones him to ask why.

"Well," replies the man "I'm usualy bathing the kids at the time".
(Norfolk and chance, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:45, Reply)

What has four legs and flies?
A decomposing stoat.
( man/child/goblin should be old enough to know better by now, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:45, Reply)

Ding, ding. Hull next stop...
What did the lepper say to the prostitue?? - Keep the tip!

One from my aunt...

Whats long hard and full of semen?? - A submarine!
(cherias, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:43, Reply)

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender?
An erection.
( man/child/goblin should be old enough to know better by now, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:43, Reply)

What's the difference 'tween a Porsche and 10 dead babies?....
What? You've read it already? FIFTEEN TIMES??? Wow. I didn't think people'd be daft enough to repeat themselves....

Oh well... erm... ok ok ok... I've got one. Why do you put a baby in to the blender feet first?

Surely... no... Not that one.. I though I was the only one in the WORLD to know that one!!!.

Damn...

Ok then... this is the Classic... My mate made this up and never ever told anyone but me....

What's the best thing about fucking 26 year-olds?... Hang on... I screwed it up... I was meant to WRITE the number.... I'll try that again: What's the best things about fucking twenty-six year olds?....

You're KIDDING me? They've all been repeated??
NEVER!!!!

Well... *HINT* maybe I'd better read what other's have written first... that way, maybe I can avoid looking like a frikkin Limp-wristed Tail-gunning Doe-Eyed Leather-Clad 'Tard.

(and weetobix... you SHOULD be sorry... my "whoooof" noise was sooo superior ;o)

*gets off the orange box and continues to whack off to daytime TV*
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:43, Reply)

I've got three, apologies if you've heard them before...
1) What's pink and bounces up and down in a pram? - A pedophile's arse.

2) What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? - A cripple in a house fire.

3) A man goes into a shoe shop and asks for the most expensive shoes they do. Shopkeeper tells him "we have genuine snakeskin shoes - £3000 a pair, and genuine tigerskin shoes, £10,000 a pair". Man asks is there is anything more expensive, so shopkeeper takes him out the back - "I've got one pair of genuine human skin shoes - £100,000 a pair". The man tells him that is a little TOO expensive - shopkeeper says "well, we do do them in black as well, 50p a dozen".


The end.
(yiddo, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:42, Reply)

Sorry if it's been pasted already...
What's got 4 legs and goes woof?

The Piper Alpha platform...
( Weetobix, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:42, Reply)

probably bindun, but im too lazy to spazz back at the moment
why didnt superman stop 9/11?
because he's a fucking cripple

how do you make a dog drink?
put it in a liquizer

has anyone tried the paula radcliffe diet?
you can eat anything you like, as long as you realise you're a fucking slacker
( lo, the Greebo Warrior - Est. 2002, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:41, Reply)

9/11
Did you see Bin-Laden was on ready stead cook?

He made a big apple crumble.
(Mong-the-Merciful, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:35, Reply)

There's the one I got printed in the popbitch mailout...
Someone I know recently got a new car, the stereo in it's ace, you say "Rap" it plays rap music, "Rock" it plays rock music.
One day some kids ran out in front of his car and he yelled, "Fucking Kids!" and it started to play Michael Jackson
( Bluesound, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:35, Reply)

if the kid's dead
is it still paedophilia?
( alistair, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:33, Reply)

Michael Jackson
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, Michael Jackson fucks small children.
(Mong-the-Merciful, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:33, Reply)

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream?
... a cot death.
(braindelay, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:33, Reply)

why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
so you can finish cumming in it's mouth
( alistair, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:33, Reply)

What's the diff' 'tween Porches and 8 dead babies?
Oh... you've already read it 15 times? Really? are you sure? are people daft enough to repeat themselves?...

oh. alrreight then...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:33, Reply)