What's the best thing about screwing a 7 yr old girl in the shower?
When her hair gets wet, she only looks 5.
( bennyhillslovechild, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:36, Reply)

a crap joke sent to a friends mobile
did you hear about the british men who won gold in the kayakking at the olympics? It was won by two men in a transit van from bocastle.

( not a good joke to say in public when on holiday near bocastle)
(rainmaker is 98% lurker., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:36, Reply)

LAST ONE from me
This guy is walking alone near the pier when he spots a girl, with no arms and no legs, sitting in her wheelchair crying.

Curious, he walks up to her. "What's the matter?" he says. The girl looks up at him and says "I'm almost 25 and I've never been on a date." Feeling sorry for her, he decides to ask her out. SHe says yes and they go out and have a pretty good time.

The next week he is walking alone near the pier again and he sees the woman, again crying near the edge of the pier. "What's wrong now?" he says to her. "I'm almost 25 and I've never been kissed." she replies back. He thinks "well, she's not too bad looking... I'll give her a kiss." So he does so and this makes her happy.

The NEXT week our philanthropist is again walking out near the pier when he sees the woman AGAIN crying in her wheelchair.. near the edge of the pier. With a heavy heart, he walks up to her. "What's wroung NOW?" Through her tears she says "Well, I'm almost 25 and I've never been fucked." So the man grabs her wheelchair by the handles and pushes her off the edge of the pier and says "NOW you're fucked!"
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:35, Reply)

two terrorist women
in long arabic dress, one turns to the other "does my bomb look big in this?"
( nbby notkins, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:34, Reply)

What do you get when you break a baby's jaw?



Deepthroat.
( newg rum n coke, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:34, Reply)

What was Princess Diana's favourite brand of shampoo
"Head & Shoulders" they know because they found hers on the dashboard.
( maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:33, Reply)

Here's one:
How do you make a five-year-old cry twice?

Use her teddy bear to wipe the blood off your penis.
(Chuckman, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:33, Reply)

Whats red slimy and crawls up a womans thigh
a homesick abortion

nuff of the brass dead baby jokes already, jeez. Want dead baby jokes, go to www.thisisacryforhelp.com
(lifelikeandposeable, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:33, Reply)

I wish to disassociate myself from this....
What is so great about shagging twenty five year olds? There's twenty of them.
(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:32, Reply)

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.
(Borderline Schizo, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:31, Reply)

What do you get if you put a knife in a baby?
An erection.
( Frogoz, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:30, Reply)

paedoes rule
Whats the best thing about shagging a 6 year old?

Hearing its pelvis crack

Whats the worst thing about shagging a 6 year old?

Having to kill it afterwards
(gentleben, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:30, Reply)

Corpses cant say no
:)
(lifelikeandposeable, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:29, Reply)

What's blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A baby with burst arm bands.
( The Duke of Prunes, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:28, Reply)

Little kid standing on the edge of a cliff crying
a guy walks up to him and asks him why he's crying.
The kid says "My parents and my sister were in that car that just went off the cliff and I got thrown free before it went over"
to which the guy replied 'Shit... its just not your lucky day si it?' whilst unzipping his fly
( the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:28, Reply)

so, me and some college friends
were lunching in the cafeteria, and somehow, talk turned to the USSR of days gone by. Perhaps we were a talking in Russian accents, or made some Stalin pun, I don't recall. Anyhoo, a cafeteria worker marked right up, slammed his hands on the table and says "my grandparents were killed by soviet troops. Burned alive in a farmhouse."
We respond "oh...Sorry to hear that." As we were to disconcerted to come up with a good response. So,it may have been unintentional, and quite misinterpreted, but we DID cause huge offense.
(kaibosh, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:28, Reply)

What is 12 inches long, blue and makes women scream all night?


Cot Death
(ClockworkDespot, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:27, Reply)

What's the difference between a ferrari and ten dead babies?
I don't have a ferrari in my garage.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:26, Reply)

what do you call
an elephant with a spade?
dawn french
( nbby notkins, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:26, Reply)

mark curry on blue peter
gets pulled up before the controller for masturbating on a disabled african woman live on air.
"but i thought i was to use a sticky black spastic" he whines...
( nbby notkins, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:25, Reply)

Here's one from a while back
What's a Police Officer's favorite hand in poker?

Four clubs beat a spade.
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:24, Reply)

Two paedophile families on the beach
one father goes to the other 'Hey you, get outta my son'
(lifelikeandposeable, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:22, Reply)

Always a classic
What's the difference between a truckful of babies and a truckful of marbles?

You can't unload a truckful of marbles with a pitchfork.
(danshome, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:22, Reply)

Sweary
How do you get a granny to shout "Cunt!"?

Get another one to shout "Bingo".
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:22, Reply)

babies are popular
Whats pink, hard and brings tears to a womans eyes?

Cot death.
(gentleben, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:21, Reply)

what have
nagasaki, hiroshima and baghdad got in common?
nothing.
yet :)
( nbby notkins, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:20, Reply)

What's the fastest animal alive?
An Ethiopian chicken.
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:20, Reply)