Why did Hitler hate the Jews?
Because they were Jewish, why else?
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 13:28, Reply)

How many jews does it take to fix an oven?
I don't know but the Germans killed millions trying to find out.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 13:27, Reply)

How do you make a Palestinian happy?
Shoot a Yid.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 13:26, Reply)

sorry if this has been posted already but....
the definition of disgusting:

sticking 6 pearls up your granny's cunt and sucking out 7.
(shanvishnu, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 13:26, Reply)

what's red and angry?
a skinned nigger
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 13:25, Reply)

why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
so you can come on its screaming face
(sextuple rooty, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 13:25, Reply)

How long does it take to drown a baby?
I don't know yet it's still kicking!
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 13:23, Reply)

Why did God invent the Irish?
so the niggers would have someone to hate.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 13:22, Reply)

Ho Ho Ho Horrible
deary me.

do you know what stevie wonders wife looks like?

neither does he

whats pink and red and cant turn round in a corridor?

a baby with a javelin through its neck

how was break dancing invented??

niggers trying to steal hub caps from moving cars.

what goes plink plink fizz fizz??

two babys in an acid bath

probably bindun but 44 pages is too much¬!
(Geoff Leopard, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 13:16, Reply)

Ha Ha Ha Harsh
whats 40ft long and wrapped around shit?

a turban

whats pink and hard?

a pig with a flick knife

whats a shitzu?

a zoo with no animals!

boom boom chuch!

apologies to all
(Geoff Leopard, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 13:12, Reply)

okay
who the hell says americans are stupid?

first they build a city below sea level

then they fillit with niggers!

sorry, i blame my mate steve...
(alchohol, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 13:09, Reply)

Funny Old Year
First the blacks in New Orleans get a pool in every yard, then the Pakistani's get Sky in every Room.

1 way ticket to Hell please!!
(Quirkyboy, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 12:56, Reply)

Man walks into..
...a sex shop, he says to the guy behind the counter wheezing due to his asthma " I need some help, I'm looking for a sex doll ..wheeze but I don't know if I want a white one or a black one...wheeze". "well Sir" says the guy behind the counter " I can see that your struggling with your asthma so why don't you take our new Muslim model....They blow themselves up"!
(Quirkyboy, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 12:51, Reply)

Vietnamese
The Vietnamese don't normally celebrate Christmas but this year they're hanging glitter...

(what makes it worse is that I first heard this as a team name in a pub quiz)
(tallulah kittiwake, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 12:50, Reply)

my rude joke
what's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?

one makes your day, the other makes your hole week.

heheheeehehehehee
( Whythebigpaws?, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 12:46, Reply)

Variation on a theme
What's blue and fucks old ladies?

Hypothermia.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 12:42, Reply)

Dribbly cunts
Whats Better than winning Gold at the Special Olympics ????


Ice-Cream. . .Ice-Cream. . .
(DcAuLnEt, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 12:40, Reply)

.
Whats got two legs and bleeds?



Half a Dog.
(stubbledchin, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 12:23, Reply)

Which would you prefer?
A scout in your pocket, or a brownie in your pants.
(Bertie Dastard Wax on, wax off, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 12:08, Reply)

Have you heard about Evil Kenivals latest stunt?
Riding through Ethiopia with a pork pie on his head.
(Bertie Dastard Wax on, wax off, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 12:08, Reply)

Why was the little girl crying?
Her mother died.

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.

Why didnt superman save the world trade centre?
Cos he was in a wheelchair.


I can feel the flames of hell licking my soul
(Mr Moo Cow - HairyBeef, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 11:58, Reply)

What happened on X factor?
They all rape children

What did the rapist on Hollyoaks do next?
Cut his feet off

Why did Grandma say Cunt?
She has tourettes

Who's Shane Ritchie?
A thalidomide child molester

What did Tony Blair say to David Blunkett?
Shit off no eyes

What did the baby twins do?
Set each other on fire

What time is it?
Swinging on loose trawlermen welly tops flap time

What happened to the reformed prostitue?
God spit roasted her children

Whats your girlfriend doing?
Sucking a sharks three way penis

What did Kim Jong Ill do?
Dipped his Korean Love Nuts into Granny's gammon chimney

Whats the best thing on Hollyoaks?
Zara 'I'm Grotbags' with warty lips on her ham pocket yutting on the ming mong twins

Whats funny about a blind guy?
Pulling his ball bag over his head

Whats should you do to the girl with no arms?
Rape her cat

Why do the Sugababes sing Ugly?
Because their axe wounds have suffered extreme blunderbuss trauma from Doctor Who

What did James Brown do on Stage?
Fingered his own brown gobbler

Whats Kate Thornton presenting next?
100 best badger fingering out takes and sloth blowjobs the next generation, both on ITV
(Manatee Fondler, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 11:51, Reply)

Sorry if been done, but 44 pages is a lot and I'm lazy
What's blue and fucks old people?

Me in my lucky blue coat


What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

Well, Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, and Michael Jackson fucks kids.
(Newton Crosby, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 11:42, Reply)

Why is Louis Walsh so smug?
Cos he rapes Leprechauns with his flourescent giggle broom

Whats up with Frank Butcher?
He's got a frog in his bell end

What happened to the modell with a yeast infection?
Her fanny fell off and a dog ate it

What's that over there?
A Granny with a Zimmer frame up her spam purse
(Manatee Fondler, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 11:42, Reply)

why did god invent black people?
so the jews would have somebody to hate
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 11:39, Reply)

what's the difference between a retard and a vegetable?
you need a fucking big pan to boil a retard
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 11:38, Reply)

why did the romans build straight roads?
so indians couldn't build corner shops
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 11:37, Reply)

what's the quickest way to commit suicide?
run down Brixton high street shouting 'I hate niggers'
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 11:36, Reply)

long and horrible
A man finally gets his girlfriend into bed and they start trying to have sex. After a minute the girl starts yelling 'Stop, Stop, It hurts' so the man runs to the bathroom, grabs the KY and lubes up and tries again. The same thing happens again with his girlfriend screaming 'Stop, Stop it hurts!' so the man gets off, grabs the KY and empties the entire tube up her cunt and gets back to business. Again the girl starts screaming 'Stop, Stop it's incredibly painful'. At which point the man gives up. The girl turns round and asks him why he's stopped trying, to which he says 'I can't do it, I'm sorry but I really can't. You put me right off', 'why?' says his girlfriend, 'because six year olds aren't supposed to know words like incredible' he replies.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 11:34, Reply)

lightbulb
q: how many men does it take to change a lightbulb ?
a: none. let the bitch cook in the dark
(roet, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 11:31, Reply)