I like to twerk
It makes the younger people say stop.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Sat 16 May 2015, 17:34, 6 replies)

I always get invited to parties
My special skill is not minding the smell of sick. You'd be suprised how popular that makes you.
(shake'n'bake Tally Ho, Biatch!, Fri 15 May 2015, 17:51, 2 replies)

Voluntary Nystagmus
This was something of a "trick" I used to use at school from about the age of 4/5 to freak young girls out. They used to call it "creepy" in my later years I just get my cock out to achieve the same effect.

For anyone that doesn't know it's the ability to make my eyes vibrate very quickly in their sockets. I have only really met two other people that can do it and they are my younger siblings. I imagine this doesn't make it a rare ability, just a super duper fucking dull one.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 15 May 2015, 15:45, 18 replies)

Simply by posting a dull anecdote on the internet about my domestic situation
I can infuriate up to twelve angry spastics at once, possibly more.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 15 May 2015, 15:34, 54 replies)

I like to turn up to parties
in a giant ship with a specially modified prow.

It's a great icebreaker.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 15 May 2015, 14:20, Reply)

I roll down my foreskin, just enough to expose my glans, until it resembles a roll neck jumper
then ask party goers what celebrity they think it looks like.
Guesses range from Warwick Davis wearing a bald cap to Telly Savalas.
The correct answer is Greg Wallace from MasterChef.
( $$ ✅, Fri 15 May 2015, 14:11, 6 replies)

Not sure if this is a party trick,
but I used to be able to fart on demand (similar in style to Mr Methane). Sadly following an accident at work that required stomach surgery, I lost the skill. Though I mourn the loss, those who know me well say that even today it lingers.
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Fri 15 May 2015, 12:36, Reply)

I can open my anus at parties.
With the added advantage of my beer bottle usually being with me
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 15 May 2015, 12:12, 2 replies)

I can open beer bottles with my anus
With the added advantage of my anus usually being with me at parties.
( Peej, Fri 15 May 2015, 11:56, 11 replies)

My cock and bollocks stretch from Tower Bridge right up to Westminster.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 15 May 2015, 11:51, 1 reply)

I can open a beer bottle on a radiator
but it's a pain having to take a radiator to parties
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 15 May 2015, 11:06, 7 replies)

Acrostic
Somehow I have this skill. How I got it I don't know. Anyway something I can do is this. Making acrostic poems, you remember them from school? But it's not really anything I usually boast about. Ordinarily it's even something to be embarrassed about. I find them fun to do though, and make up examples all the time, just for my own amusement. Sometimes in the car my mind drifts off and the words just come to me. At least it amuses me. What use it it to anyone else I don't know. Any skill with words, if you're not a poet or headline writer or whatever, is really just for your own amusement, no-one else is likely to be impressed. No? Killing time doing it is better than Candy Crush Saga, I always think. Empty time filled. Result.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 15 May 2015, 9:54, 16 replies)

Cunnilingus is my thingus
Beyond every other aspect of sex. The smell, the taste, the texture... but above all, the response.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Fri 15 May 2015, 9:30, 3 replies)

Guyrim threads.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 May 2015, 9:18, 21 replies)

Reflexes.
10/05/15 Entry 710 (BBC).
Examining the big ethical and religious issues of the week on Sunday Morning Live.
My reflexes have been honed by three years of obsession. With an 'Eddie Eye' and split-second accuracy I am now able to hit 'pause' at the exact moment when the largest area of underwear is on display. I hope that you, faithful reader, will understand my little joke, I was of course referring to the famous sportsperson, Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards. I have a poster of him on the wall, just underneath my infant school swimming certificate and the A2 '2013 London Marathon' stills.

Today's outfit: Sian is sporting a pretty navy cardigan over a blue dress with a diagonal neckline: the angle descending from the outer collarbone and meeting on the sternum at approximately rib 5. Slight suggestion of upper curve of breast, quite tastefully done however. Simple gold chain necklace with a small opal. Basic ladies wristwatch. Two pearl earrings. Same makeup as previous three weeks. Hair has slightly more blonde in it. Left leg over right when the time comes. Sexy inviting black panties on show for 0.6 seconds at 03:51 in from end of title sequence. Must remember to bookmark this for repeat viewings, it is one of the finer sightings in my archive.

3 minutes 42 to reach orgasm.
11cc of ejaculate produced.
Today's receptacle: 'Norwich City FC' mug with broken handle, contains week-old coffee and an estimated 3mm thickness of mould. It was about time I threw that old thing out anyhow.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 15 May 2015, 0:12, 15 replies)

I can belch the alphabet
well ... up to D.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 14 May 2015, 22:07, 3 replies)

I'm pretty good at fingering.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 14 May 2015, 21:33, 2 replies)

I can get both my legs behind my head
but, like yoga, it tends to compress my bowels somewhat, and my show is spoiled by rolling around on the floor farting

no I can't perform auto-fellatio
( A Rory Borealis here under duress, Thu 14 May 2015, 21:29, Reply)

I'm a master at subjugating the bush.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 14 May 2015, 21:19, 6 replies)

I can make a passable representation of an oven-ready chicken from a tea towel.
I can also recite the entire Port Shoem by the Speverent Rooner (originally published in Monty Python's Big Red Book IIRC)
( Varmint, Thu 14 May 2015, 20:53, 1 reply)

My turban wearing long tailed rodent has claws suspiciously similar to a bird of prey

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 14 May 2015, 19:55, Reply)

I can deep throat a 10" cock without gagging.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 14 May 2015, 19:40, 7 replies)

I can easily throw things over my head and catch them behind my back
I often do this whilst walking along with things like car keys. Years went by with no mishaps until I was at a house party with my then girlfriend that was hosted by her ex. I went to pour a drink, grabbed a bottle of grey goose and without thinking threw it in the air, went to catch it and missed.
( Peej, Thu 14 May 2015, 19:20, 1 reply)

Ear wiggling.
Either left or right, or both at once. My only talent.
(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Thu 14 May 2015, 19:09, 1 reply)

I am really good at the moving magic towel trick but without the towel and according to the authorities
I was practising much too close to the children's park. You live and learn. Cheers.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 14 May 2015, 18:16, 1 reply)

Turd

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 May 2015, 18:06, 4 replies)

2nd

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 14 May 2015, 18:04, 1 reply)

FIRST, LOOSER'S!!!!

(Good evening Good evening, Thu 14 May 2015, 17:32, 3 replies)