
Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."
( , Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
Tell Us Your Story »

Make up a lot of Bollocks and post it to your Facebopk page.
( , Thu 26 Jul 2012, 21:57, Reply)

Struggling to buy fags, because they no longer accept your national insurance card as valid ID?
Simply take the newsagent to the nearest bus stop, get on the next available bus and ask for a child fare.
While the bus driver and newsagent argues the toss, run back to the newsagents and steal all the tobacco's you'll need until you do look old enough.
Probably bindun, but surely worth another outing.
First post since November 2007!
( , Thu 26 Jul 2012, 18:08, 6 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Start going out with a ginger. Your friends will immediately notice how bronzed your skin looks in comparison
( , Thu 26 Jul 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Start going out with an Albino. Your friend will immediately notice how bronzed your skin looks in comparison
( , Thu 26 Jul 2012, 13:42, Reply)

by contracting your abdominal muscles, causing intra-abdominal pressure to increase, lowering your perineal wall, causing the ano rectal angle to decrease from 90 degrees to less than 15 degrees and relaxing your external anal sphincter. If possible, sit on a toilet first. Sorry, should've mentioned that earlier.
( , Thu 26 Jul 2012, 4:24, 5 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Just imagine it in your head but make it better by adding more explosions and breasts.
( , Thu 26 Jul 2012, 1:10, Reply)

go to www.tvcatchup.com on your smart phone. All freeview channels free of charge!
( , Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:50, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

no matter which car you're driving, by simply looking at the fuel light on your dashboard. Whichever side the pump is on in the little picture, is the side that your petrol filler cap will be on! (99.9% of the time!)
( , Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:48, 13 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

By leaving flowers in it overnight.
( , Mon 23 Jul 2012, 17:14, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

by buying bacon from Corley Service Station that has been slowly tanning underneath the heat lamps for 6 hours since it was first griddled.
( , Thu 19 Jul 2012, 17:08, Reply)

by moving in with your mother-in-law for a couple of years.
( , Thu 19 Jul 2012, 15:42, Reply)

by leaving it overnight filled with water with a dash of bleach in it. Remove any flowers first.
( , Wed 18 Jul 2012, 20:20, Reply)

by contracting your diaphragm muscles, causing a pressure variation, which is equal to the pressures caused by elastic, resistive and inertial components of the respiratory system.
( , Wed 18 Jul 2012, 14:56, 5 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

by leaving them overnight filled with water with a dash of bleach in it. Remove the flowers first.
( , Wed 18 Jul 2012, 11:44, Reply)

by switching on the tap-click function on their laptop touchpad.
( , Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:02, Reply)

Save everyone's time and money by not making 1P and 2P coins. We don't need them, some people even throw them away, and thier continied use causes more trouble than it's worth.
( , Sat 14 Jul 2012, 16:09, 8 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

by holidaying in Norway.
( , Sat 14 Jul 2012, 14:28, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

by living in London.
( , Fri 13 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)

by marrying a really ugly bird.
( , Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:05, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

in a soothing tone; "their their, never mind".
( , Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:03, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

by saying 'the internets' and using bad grammar spelling and punctuation
*mainly twats
( , Thu 12 Jul 2012, 13:54, Reply)

Post the 100th comment in the last year about tips being stolen from Viz.
( , Wed 11 Jul 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Then you can't be blamed if it all kicks off.
( , Tue 10 Jul 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Tell Us Your Story »