Ingratiate yourself with the Welsh
by enquiring where Lovely is.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 17:40, Reply)

Make your own Nigel Farage...
...by teaching a frog to be racist.
(NoStrings Tastes like zombies!!, Sat 5 Apr 2014, 21:55, Reply)

Confuse Scots by not having your tea.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:57, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

Confuse Geordies by
having women look different to men.
(username failed moderation, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 13:33, Reply)

Confuse Londoners by being polite and courteous.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 4 Apr 2014, 12:45, Reply)

Confuse Scousers
By leaving your tools in the van overnight.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 19:32, Reply)

Make your chili con carne taste nicer by adding a spoonful of cinnamon
Trust me: you will thank me for this.
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 13:13, 7 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Struggling to stomach TWO extra portions of fruit a day?
carve fruit from butter then internet fatties
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 2 Apr 2014, 20:15, Reply)

More space?
Try putting flags about the place. That's how we did it in the old days instead of all this war nonsense.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Apr 2014, 12:32, 3 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Want more space?
Buy a wider keyboard.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 2 Apr 2014, 11:42, Reply)

Want to look like a dog fingering twat?
Stick "fnord" on the newsletter, then everyone in the know will understand what a terrible canine molesting git you are.
(yeswehavenopasties, Wed 2 Apr 2014, 3:35, Reply)

Want morse pace?
Whatever speed your comfortable tapping it out at really.
(boarders You won't catch me with my trousers, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 21:54, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

Want more space?
Invade Poland.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:07, Reply)

Want more space?
There's loads up there *points*
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 17:34, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

Want more space on the bus?
Buy your own bus. Pleb.
(username failed moderation, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 14:12, Reply)

Want more space on the bus?
Don't bother with that diet and you can carry on having two seats to yourself, you fat fuck.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:37, Reply)

Want more space on the bus?
Rub a large banana over your face whilst groaning and licking your lips. No one will dare sit next to you after that.

May not work if you are an attractive woman or if you live in Norfolk.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 2:00, Reply)

Paying too much for your electricity?
Wire all your appliances back to front, that way the stupid electricity company will have to pay you. Yay!
(boarders You won't catch me with my trousers, Sun 23 Mar 2014, 21:29, Reply)

Women
If you want to raise some serious money for cancer research, don't post photo's of yourselves without make up. Get your tits out instead.
( Muns, Fri 21 Mar 2014, 9:09, Reply)

Raise awareness for testicular cancer by teabagging your webcam and posting it to Facebook.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 19:28, 2 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

There's also a Twitter account called TwopTwips
HTH XX
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 12:16, Reply)

Has anyone mentioned using Viz top tips yet?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 12:16, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

Have a root around on B3ta for old Top Tips
And then send them to Viz. If the Top Tips are old enough, nobody will be any the wiser.
(NoStrings Tastes like zombies!!, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:21, Reply)

Have a root around under your bed for old copies of Viz
And then copy the Top Tips onto here. If the magazines are old enough, nobody will be any the wiser.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 20:31, Reply)

Not looking like enough of a whiny bitch?
Why not vent your frustrations about top tips on the internet?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:46, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

Save money on Budweiser
by pissing in your own mouth.
(username failed moderation, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Suggest that all top tips come from Viz
for the 793rd time. It's really fucking entertaining.
(username failed moderation, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 10:47, Reply)

save money on expensive answers to qotw
by pissing in your own mouth.
(Eukanuba, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)

Save money on milk by pissing on your Sugar Puffs.
They'll smell and taste just the same.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:37, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

Have a root around under your bed for old copies of Viz
And then copy the Top Tips onto here. If the magazines are old enough, nobody will be any the wiser.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)