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This is a question Top Tips

Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."

(, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
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Easily dust the turn-ups on your trousers,
by lacing your shoes with pipe cleaners.
(, Mon 28 Jul 2014, 21:09, Reply)
Save time, money and a possible animal cruelty suit
By buying the complete works of Shakespeare
(, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 14:07, 3 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Trying to find out which nonces live in your area so you can "stab da fucking cunts lad"
Hold a PACT coffee and scones meeting in the local mosque
(, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 16:35, Reply)
Gardeners: used PACT coffee grounds make excellent slug and snail repellant
although may attract paedophiles to your vegetables.
(, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 15:47, Reply)
Fool the postman into thinking you're a paedophile
by having PACT coffee delivered to your door
(, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 13:38, 3 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Don't just don't. That's right, think about it.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 20:11, 11 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Save money on menthol cigarettes
by being allergic to menthol salicylic acid.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 14:24, Reply)
Save money on expensive menthol cigarettes
by buying cheap menthol cigarettes.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:13, 2 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Save money on expensive menthol cigarettes
by standing right next to a smoker while chewing gum.
(, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 19:57, Reply)
Stuck for an idea of what to do for your mate's stag do?
Get him to dress up as a woman! Hahahahahaha! It will be WELL funny!
(, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 13:10, Reply)
If your facebook friends don't think you're a big enough cunt already
Make it clear to them by liking Britain First and sharing all of their posts. Extra cunt points for removing any ethnic minorities from your friends list, shunning contact with people with both brown hair and brown eyes and telling anyone with a Polish sounding name to fuck off back to their own countries.
(, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 9:27, Reply)
Staple insects to your bird table
before you go to bed, to feed the bats.
(, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 18:05, 2 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
A real one!!!
Do you use that self-clean daily shower spray stuff? If so, don't buy it at £1.75 or so a bottle. Instead, get a bottle of dishwasher rinse aid (£1.50) and dilute it (10 parts water to 1 part rinse aid) in a spray bottle and use that. Precisely the same chemicals, does the same job for 1/10th the price.
(, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 11:56, 4 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Get more attention from girls
by not being a hopeless fat shut-in
(, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 19:15, 1 reply, 6 years ago)
Men in bars...
prevent getting your arse felt by having sensible short hair and not wearing skinny jeans...
(, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 16:39, 2 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Pretend to be a gypsy
by stealing your neighbours roof tiles.
(, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 14:02, Reply)
Reach out; touch faith.

(, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 12:42, 2 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Meeting you, with a view to a kill.

(, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:06, Reply)
Disposable contact lenses make an ideal Center Parcs for amoebas.

(, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 14:43, Reply)
Avoid being bored in work during the summer holidays
by not going to work.
(, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 14:21, 6 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
make vegetarian free salad,
by using sliced ham instead of lettuce, scotch eggs instead of tomatoes and slices of napoli salami instead of sliced cucumber. Plus, you dont look like a gay at work bringing a tub of this in...
(, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:58, 2 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Trick people into thinking your house is a fantastic world of wonder and intrigue
by paving the road leading upto it with yellow bricks.
As bonus points, it makes it easier to add to your lion, tin man and scarecrow collections.
(, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:53, Reply)
permanently mentally damage your children,
by constructing a fake scrotum with a chamois leather, replica testicles with two peeled boiled eggs, some jam and two live worms,
and having a 'hilarious' accident whilst chopping something up whilst wearing a dressing gown in your kitchen.
(, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 11:30, 4 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Live the life of a formula 1 racing driver in your local asda,
by racing in front of someone to an open check-out, then shaking a bottle of lemonade and spraying it all over their face.
(, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 9:42, Reply)
Avoid being a humourless misery, terrified of spending a penny more than you have to
By not being Scottish.
(, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 15:27, Reply)
Love your money

(, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 14:37, Reply)
Kill the King, when love is the law.

(, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:32, Reply)
By using passive-aggressive sarcasm it's possible to tell people how you really feel and pass it off as a joke without them noticing.

(, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 12:36, Reply)
Kill for Allah. Kill for Jesus.
1980s shit - turn it down. Tone it down.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 19:24, Reply)
Kill your television

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 19:04, Reply)

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