DIRTY LAUNDRY
Sometimes I manage to disgust myself. Was I really going to sink so low and put my plan in action?

Too fucking right I was.

And it was one of the best wanks I've ever had in my life.

But lets go back in time a bit - when I was in sixth form at school I had an economics teacher named Miss Gainey who instilled in me a lifelong passion and interest. Not in economics, fuck no. But in breasts. Whenever I needed help with anything she would come up behind my desk, take my pen, lean over me and work through some calculations in my exercise book. During these precious moments she'd park her unbelievably hot puppies on my head, it was a truly wonderful experience. Probably explains why I did so fucking well in this subject. Also probably explains the terrible upper back and neck pains I suffered from as a teenager - her tits were fucking huge and heavy.

I loved Miss Gainey. It was a pure, unsullied love, I was completely devoted to her - well, to her breasts. I was so in love with Miss Gainey that I even made sure I had a shower in the mornings on Tuesday and Thursday, the days I had economics with her. I was fucking infactuated, and to make matters worse she lived in the next street along from my parents house. I would often see her driving down my street and have to go inside quickly to masturbate furiously. Miss Gainey was, simply, wonderful.

And then that fateful day came when I left school and went to university and Miss Gainey was forgotten. I was far too busy masturbating over the fleeting glimpses of Joanna Smith on my course to pay the stored up memories of Miss Gainey in my wank bank any attention. Miss Gainey became a closed account, all spunk-related transactions ceased.

And then I finished uni and found myself back at my parents for a while, unemployed, not having a clue what I wanted to do with my life. All I used to do was play Championship Manager and go and sign on once a fortnight. It was fucking awesome. After a couple of months of this I started to get really bored, I remember approaching every business in the area to see if they needed any casual staff over the summer - I'd already decided to go back to uni to do my masters and just needed something to tide me over until September.

And thats how I landed the job at the laundrette.

Nice easy work. Sorting out service loads, fishing condoms out of the driers, giving people change for the machines. Piece of piss. And it was cash in hand, no need to involve that pesky taxman bastard. I was suddenly rich again.

One bright August morning I'm fucking about filling the soap dispenser machine when the door opens and I hear:

"Spanky? Spanky! Fancy seeing you here!"

I recognised the voice and so did my cock, which instantly went a little hard - the account in the wank bank was suddenly reinstated with full credit facilities.

I turned and saw her: "Miss Gainey!" She looked fucking hot! Both of them looked fucking hot actually, sat snugly in her summer blouse, straining as if they wanted to be released so they could rest on my head again, just like old times.

I explained to Miss Gainey I was working in the laundrette just until I got back to uni again, she seemed really interested in what I was up to. After we'd had a breif chat she handed me over a big bag of washing and asked when it would be ready to pick up. Instantly I told her it would be ready tomorrow morning and she left, and I looked down at the bag and my perversion levels started to go atomic.

And with good cause.

I dumped the contents in the closest washing machine, having a good feel and look at all the cloths. Miss Gainey was a bit of an emo chick out of work! Fuck me! Who would've thought. And at the bottom of her laundry bag I hit dirty-fucker pay dirt gold: I found a big collection of her tangled-up panties.

For a fleeting, brief moment I considered putting them in the machine. But it was as if my body had been taken over by a higher power, a power so strong I just couldn't fight it, some kind of god of perversion had taken control of my limbs.

And thats how the panties ended up in my satchel. Thats how, later that evening in my room at my parents house, after a breif battle with my conscience, I found myself stark bollock naked on my bed, stroking my boner, while I rifled through Miss Gainey's soiled undies, sniffing them, rubbing the gussets, even putting a few pairs over my head and inhaling deeply, enjoying the rich beefy flavors of Miss Gainey's fanny batter.

And, I have to say, it was an absolutely tremendous wank. I must've shed half a stone in bodyweight, the amount of jizz I spewed. I very nearly passed out.

It was a monumental achievement.

When I'd finished I gathered together the pants, took them downstairs with some of my laundry, and washed and dried them in my parents machine.

Feeling rather pleased with myself the next day at work I waited for Miss Gainey to turn up to collect her service wash. I'd even had a shower.

Eventually, my ex economics teacher walks in, I smile and wave and go and retrieve her cleanly laundered clothing.

"Thanks, Spanky," she says. "How much do I owe you?"

We settle the bill, as she's going out the door Miss Gainey turns and says: "You really got me out of a hole, Spanky. I usually use my washing machine at home, but my daughter dumped all this washing on me after she got back from holiday with her father, we're seperated you see, and it was too much for my little machine to handle. For a fourteen year old girl she produces an awful lot of dirty laundry! Anyway, Spanky, see you around."

And she leaves.

And I feel like I might be suddenly sick.
( SpankyHanky, Sun 5 Apr 2009, 22:22, 24 replies)

you
are a sick perv! clicks!
(Errin C, Sun 5 Apr 2009, 22:45, closed)

Love it!
At least it was a 14 year old girl. It could have been a lot worse.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 5 Apr 2009, 22:49, closed)

Exactly
Imagine if it had been a 14 year old horse's underwear. The shame.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Sun 5 Apr 2009, 22:56, closed)

That's gotta be the most fucked up post this week
well done. HeeHeeHee
(Lizard King, Sun 5 Apr 2009, 22:59, closed)

You
make me laugh. I'm a lurker who stops by now and then for posts like these, keep 'em coming Sir Spanks
( slapdash flying through the cool clean air since, Sun 5 Apr 2009, 23:07, closed)

"And it was one of the best wanks I've ever had in my life."
^^^
reads this.

Thinks: "This will be a Spanky story, then."

Was glad to be proven right.

The end.
(dxg, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 0:00, closed)

you get clicked
just for

"rich beefy flavors"
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 1:00, closed)

^ This

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 8:01, closed)

^
me three
(Mr.Dog was in love again on, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 14:23, closed)

wow
thats all i feel i can say

click
(rocknroll_pirate had a dream involving holly willoughby and custard, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 1:22, closed)

A thank you
You never fail to cheer me up with your wondeful stories of pleasure and pervieness!! "click"
( jakedamusss I understand, and dont care., Mon 6 Apr 2009, 1:27, closed)

I was expecting a pun.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 6 Apr 2009, 2:05, closed)

You
did it again. Excellent post Sir! :-)
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 7:54, closed)

Beautiful!
Just plain ruddy beautiful!

*clicks vigourously*
(Sir General ***WoW***, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 8:47, closed)

You're a wrong un!
You really are! Ha!
(Milly One, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 8:57, closed)

Spanky,
Ive just sat down at my desk with a cup of coffee before I start work and sprayed most of it over my keyboard - heeheehee! *clicky*
(Grrrrr Tigers, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 9:01, closed)

Sicko!
From Miss Gainey.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 6 Apr 2009, 10:00, closed)

Ace!
*clicks*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 6 Apr 2009, 10:07, closed)

Not that it matters in the slightest but
sometimes I wonder whether your stories are pure truth or merely sick, sick fiction....

and I'm not sure which would be worse.


Why do I feel dirty whenever I click one of your posts?
(TheColonel, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 10:14, closed)

Uncanny...!

I took economics in the sixth form.

And my teacher was a woman with quite stupendous norkage...a proper 'Dead-heat-in-a-zeppelin-race' job.

Her name was Mrs Elliot...but she never got anywhere near my wankbank...

For a start she was too old...and not very attractive...but most of all because she hated my guts so much and she had me expelled.

/is bitter.

*clicks*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 6 Apr 2009, 11:02, closed)

I think you're a sick, perverted wierdo.
But in a good way.
( girlinthehole, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 11:21, closed)

Ah...
Now that's brought back some memories (mammaries ?)
School drama teacher, one of the three female teachers at an all boys school. Genuinely wonderful teacher and seemed to have no idea at all of the effect she had on the libidos of the various 15 yearolds under her charge.

Well I remember the day when, during a rehersal for The Duchess of Malfi, she cried out to the players on stage "No, no, no. The script says 'Clutches him to her bosom'. Like this..."
I was the happiest demonstration model in the world.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 15:09, closed)

You make me feel dirty
to my core. *clicks*
(Hotty, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 19:41, closed)

It's the way you tell 'em
e.g., "I must've shed half a stone in bodyweight, the amount of jizz I spewed."

I shuddered visibly at my desk... _{It's lucky I'm alone in the office at the moment so nobody will ask what I'm laughing at, lest I have to show them this sick filth with which you have so generously provided me this morning.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 9:52, closed)