Ball lightning
My grandmother once told me that as a kid growing up, her and her family once experienced a glowing ball entering the kitchen by the window, whizzed around for a few seconds then hit a fork on the table, catapulting it into the air, before dissapearing.

I'm sure there is a rational explanation for this, but I'd love to know what it is.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 16:57, 8 replies)

UFO
I strongly suspect that these 'sightings' are a load of tosh too. I mean, it's a fecking massive universe out there and is perfectly plausible that we're not the only or most advanced form of life in it, but you must logically wonder. If superior advanced ET beings are zipping around the galaxies in their lighting-quick star cruisers, why the feck would they remain a mystery? With that ability/technology/power they surely wouldn't be threatened by a pack of over developed apes like us!

On one single occasion, I DID think that I had seen a UFO though. I even shouted of the missus to come see. It was just like a really large and bright star, but it was a cloudy night so there were absolutely no other stars visible, just this one massively bright (by comparison) unmoving light in the sky. I'm no astronomer, but I stand in the same spot about ten times every night, quite frequently watching the stars, sky or clouds and had never seen it before. There is a flight path in the area, but I'm familiar with the sight of various aircraft in differing light conditions. The 'UFO' however, wasn't moving at all.

I felt a bit stupid the following evenings when it was in a similar position around the same time of night. (Unless it was an extended reconnaisance mission by the lizard people of UPXNFUJEHCK-1486t02 plannig to pinch all the nookie broon from the toon???!!!!)
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 16:41, 11 replies)

Mystical Beast?
Another longtime lurker joins the fray...

A few years back I was a Special Constable in the Police. At the time I was working out of Henley nick. I was working a night duty and it was in the wee hours of the morning, around 3am.

My crewmate was driving us down an A road in the Oxfordshire countryside, and I was feeling drowsy. I was trying really hard to nod off, whilst appearing awake, which is difficult to do in a moving car.

I had my elbow resting on the top of door and my cheek resting on my fist. And my eyes where drooping when suddenly I saw...

...a Unicorn.

Yup, it was standing on the verge, eating grass. A white Unicorn with a single horn on its head. I swear, it was as real as this keyboard I sit typing on.

My eyes snapped fully open and I turned to face my crewmate. "Did you see that Dangerous?" I asked. He looked at me. "See what?" he replied. "Erm, nothing".

I looked in the mirror and saw nothing behind. It obviously wasn't there, a mere figment of my sleepy imagination. But it looked so REAL!

Now to the point of this unamusing tale, we all know Unicorns are stuff of fantasy, right?

But what if my dozy brain had conjured up a UFO hovering over the trees? It would have looked real, and maybe I wouldn't have been so hasty in giving myself a mental slap and a 'don't be silly, it doesn't exist'. I mean, loads of people have seen UFOs.

Quite a few of them people working at night, in the early hours...

Length? About 12 inches, with a pointy end and a spiral down it.
(Strangechap I look normal on the outside..., Mon 7 Jul 2008, 16:21, 1 reply)

Thanks WeeWitch.
I've been reminded of a 'claim'. (Not mine, but family.)

My step-brother and his missus did their degrees in hospitality or somesuch and spent several years running gastro pub type places in the South. The last of such being a place in a country village type setting somewhere around Guildford (I never visited). It was a really old place that had been a sixteenth century coaching house or somesuch.
Several of my family members have sworn blind that they would retire to bed leaving the bar / dining room clear and get up in the morning to find some tables set with the cutlery etc that had been on the sideboard.

Having not witnessed this or any other paranormal activity personally, I still believe they're full of shit.

If not, I want to know how to attract one of those things to my house. The current 'magical being' that mysteriously cleans my house and shifts my laundry from the bathroom floor to the ironing heap via the washer & drier is starting to moan / wail / gnash / stomp excessively of late.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 16:16, 4 replies)

Why is it
that most ghosties and shadow men and UFO's and other stuff people apparently see always come out at night?
Bit of a bugger to be woken up everynight by that daft bint who hanged herself 300 years ago the antisocial moo.
(Freddles, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 16:13, Reply)

much too much.
It was the tuesday after glastonbury and I had got home in a horrific state and gone directly to bed at three pm. Maybe it was all the acid but I was having some particularly vivid dreams about Michael Eavis and his beard... in one it climbed off his face and transformed into a tiny piglet which I chased around his back garden until it transformed again into his daughter who brutally bum-raped me with a carrot. No laughing matter I tell ye.

After one of these lucid nightmares I woke up in a cold sweat. I didn't have the energy to go to the toilet so satisfied myself with a little guitar playing in the dark. I remember picking out the lead line from Soundgardens Black Hole Sun when a mysterious spectral light started shining through the gap underneath the door. Think Cherenkov radiation.

It freaked me out but I figured it was probably a hallucination of some kind, so laid my guitar gently on the floor, instead of it's usual spot upright against the wall, pulled the duvet over my head and lay back down.

As soon as my head hit the pillow there was a hand around my throat. A horrible, hairy, smelly hand gripping my windpipe. Choking me. I tried to cry out but couldn't make a sound. Everything was going fuzzy and warm and I thought I was going to die. Using every ounce of my strength I reached up to my neck to try and remove the offending appendage...

There was nothing there. I sat bolt upright, drenched in sweat and screamed. It was daylight... about 5pm. My mum came into the room and said 'What's the matter!!?' I must have been ashen because she was looking at me very strangely. I noted my guitar leaning against the wall and burst into tears. Then I ran past mum, bollocks dangling in the breeze (mine, not hers) and locked myself in the bathroom for a nice poo/vomit/cry.

I suppose the lesson learned was - when it comes to drugs.. there is such a thing as too much.

EDIT: I thought my story was brilliant and scary and interesting but have just discovered it to be basically the same as most of the others this week.... 'I had a strange experience. It was scary. It was a dream. The end.'
(Ktulu O'Ryleh float like a turd, sting like chlamydia, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:59, 1 reply)

I have a strange and eerie feeling....
... that I should be a tw@ and rebuff 90% of these 'vivid dream' stories as involuntary subconscious reactions to conscious stimulae.

Then my spirit guide told me not to be such a cnut.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:59, 1 reply)

Ghost Watch
Does anyone remember this BBC TV show then they aired it?

Scared the crap out of me it did! Lost sleep for a good long time afterwards (glad we didn't get central heating till recently though!)
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:54, 11 replies)

Reality
I love hearing and reading about these 'experiences' but am yet to have one of my own, something that i couldn't explain away or put down to some ailmet/tiredness/drug pipes or whatever.....As soon as someone says, 'i was asleep' or 'i woke up to see', or even, 'i was in bed', i usually dismiss it immediately. Dreams can be so real, vivid and solid, that anything that remotely hints at being asleep is more than likely just that...you had fallen asleep and didn't even realise it...a very non-spooky example of this is many times i have been waiting on a parcel to arrive, or someone coming round or even more crucially, a giro...i have woken up, checked the time then went back to sleep only then to have a dream that the parcel has arrived, friend has come round, giro is safe. I am SO convinced of this, even opening the door for the postman, signing for item etc, that i even have a look around just to see if it did arrive...it never has, cause i dreamt it....but it was soooooo real. But thats the power of the mind, i could go onto say that everyday reality is merely a by product of conciousness and in fact we dream up everything we see, feel, experience, none of it actually happens anywhere else than inside our own heads. That in fact we, everyone of us, are individual universes. Individual, yet mere instances of the same thing, the same conciousness.

So in fact when people say they say a ghost or dry humped a spectre they did, but it didnt occur in the 'real' world as such, but occured in their head. But then, if the individual universe thing is true, then there is NO real world, merely a series of very complex, interacting, hallucinations.

A nice analogy is that if you were on the beach of a great ocean and you took a jar and filled it with ocean water and put it on the sand, what would be in the jar? The Ocean is in the jar, or an aspect of it, a tiny percentage. Does the jar of water consider itself to be an individual, does it KNOW that the bigger picture is merely feet away and that it is capable of so much more. We are the jars of water, ego obsessed, never pausing to consider that we are part , an insignificant part, but crucial nonetheless.

When we die, the jar is emptied back into the ocean and we are aware of the vastness of the 'real' world, so to speak and have no recollection of our time in the jar.




Look, its a slow day at work..............
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:53, 6 replies)

erm
One time, whilst in the falcon with the dudes, I felt an overwhelming disturbance in the force, like millions of voices had cried out and had suddenly been silenced, I felt something terrible had happened.

I said "what the f*ck was aaw that???"

turned out the burds (Leia) planet had been demolished to make way for a new interplanetary highway by the vogons. She stood up, her mini skirt hiking up over her arse, lit a fag, drank some cider and stormed off doon the back of the ship. That was pretty unexplained. Dinnae mess wie that force by the way, it'll f*ck u right up!

I'd crapped my pants due to my forgetfulness at not putting on my old man diaper before leaving twatoinne and Luke just wasnt up for getting an funky with me at all despite my constant advances :(

the wee sh*te

(sorry...been at work all day...kinda delirious and I've been boozing in London all weekend, so am hungower tae buggery)
(scotsbloke, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:40, Reply)

The cold hand of dooooooooom
.
Before I was married, I had a room (and therefore a bed) all to my little self. I liked my bed. No, I loved my bed. Being a teenager, I spent as much time in there as I could (alone - and asleep).

One night, I'd gone to bed as usual and fallen asleep (as you do). I woke up in the middle of the night, in the pitch darkness, when a cold, dead-feeling hand landed on my face.

My heart was pounding like I'd run a marathon as I wrestled the cold hand off my face. I was gibbering like a maniac, too shocked even to scream.

Then I realised that the cold hand of doom was in fact attached to my own arm.

I'd turned over and my arm had obviously ended up resting vertically against the tasteful rose pink velour headboard. Having lost the blood flow, my normally cool hand had transformed into something much scarier. The relief when I realised what had happened was almost enough to make the resulting pins and needles worthwhile.

Still scared me shitless for a few moments though.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:36, 14 replies)

Dreams
I tend to have fairly vivid dreams which is a bit weird, however one sticks in my mind to this day...

When I was really young, about 6 or 7 I was moved from my room at the back of the house to the spare room at the front of the house and there was a window plus the porch was directly below it.

In the dream I was in that room and suddenly felt a presence at the window, and saw 3 reptilian aliens so I decided to run away from them (at least I was thinking clearly!). I got as far as the top of the stairs when my legs went dead and I couldn't move them, I tried to shout for my parents but they wouldn't wake up and these reptiles were getting closer and closer...

Then I woke up.
Now a nightmare isn't weird, but the fact that it was, and still is, so vivid and also that the dream started in the room I was sleeping in which made it really odd.

Still to this day I remember that dream and it still freaks me out a bit.

Also, My auntie states that her bedroom is haunted and she says she feels a presence in there or in the attic and has felt a pressure on her chest when waking up before now (sleep paralysis would do that I know but it's the other stuff...)
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 14:59, Reply)

The visitor in the night
A friend of mine from SA told me this one:

The friend of mine was staying at a mate’s house in Durban. They were all downstairs when the younger sister of the guy who lived in the house (she was a very quiet and shy person) flew into the room screaming and in tears, she was terrified of going back to her bedroom but wouldn’t say why.

My friend volunteered to sleep in her room as there was no more space in the lounge. He said it felt fine when he got in there. However….

He was woken on the middle of the night with a woman standing over him. She was very old and wrinkly and covered in mud. Her hair looked like tree roots and wound down her body into the ground. She didn’t say anything but just stood there starring menacingly at my friend, who after a few seconds, fled downstairs and out of the house……

It later transpired that the girl had seen something similar.

It could have been a night terror / sleep paralysis type of thing, but for both of them to see the same thing is very bizarre.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 14:55, 1 reply)

Ooh
A while back I was working at a local carvery as a member of the full time barstaff. The place itself was a 2 minute walk away from my home and was built near a nature reserve well known for supernatural and other earthly goings on (No idea why really as it was a shithole). Many of the staff had experienced a couple of strange things happen to them but for some bizarre reason I was left alone.

One day I was called in early to help cover for one of the kitchen staff that had called in sick (one of the downsides of living on your works doorstep). The only blokes in the kitchen that morning were two lazy sods that would spend most the day sat outside the back door smoking god knows what, something that they continued to do when I walked through the door. I thought that I was just going to wash pots but these guys expected me to do food prep and cooking aswell.

They were constantly taking the piss out of my attempts to make a decent breakfast for a couple of guests when I finally snapped. I picked up the nearest object (which happened to be the pan I was using to do the bacon in) and threw it straight at the head chefs fat face. Sadly it missed and flew over his head and into the nature reserve.

People were talking about the unidentified frying object for weeks to come.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 14:49, Reply)

My wife...again
Started seeing the figure of a young girl about 10 years old in a white Christening gown. This continued to happen for about a year and my wive eventually got used to seeing her....then we moved house.

The girl followed us...

We happened to go to a live show of Derek Ogilvie and as soon as he saw my wife he asked to see her after the show. After the show he asked if he could do a home visit (for free...nice!) as he felt something interesting about my wife. When he arrived he told us about the girl and that she followed us to look after us. She was the previous owner of our old house and the way my wife sees her is the way the girl wants us to see her: as a 10 year old despite living deep into old age and that my wife had great potential as a psychic...

I love my freaky wife! :)
( diablo290582 Professional.....something., Mon 7 Jul 2008, 14:45, 2 replies)

Morbid, haunting and soul destroying....
....my wife has had, over the years, many experiences of seeing people who had long passed away or had a feeling that someone was troubled, injured etc and she was frighteningly always correct.

The worst experience she had was on a drive back from Ikea with her brother while I was in the house watching our son. She had a gut-wrenching feeling that something terrible had happened but was not sure what or who was concerned just that it involved family. Just at that time I heard a knock at the door. When I opened it was met by a chap in a suit and an army officer in his greens. The purpose of their visit was to inform me that my younger brother (whom I had only known for 2 years due to me being adopted as a child) had been in a fatal car crash in Germany of which 3 out of the four occupants died. Needless to say I burst into tears, devastated.

Life can be a right bitch at times!

Despite this we are almost certain he would have been trying to fire into Marylin Monroe as soon as he stepped throuh those pearly gates...
( diablo290582 Professional.....something., Mon 7 Jul 2008, 14:33, Reply)

Here's something that needs explaining
The Church of England is currently tearing itself apart over whether women should be ordained as Bishops, some say yes, others say it is against gods will...

100 points to the person who can tell me who the head of the Church of England is and what sex they are.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 14:30, 11 replies)

While repairing my recently deceased Aunt's flat
I was in charge and the only one doing all the work - a complete overhaul of the flat - new kitchen, bath etc... in order to get it in selling condition shortly after her death. She and I were close growing up and I am in the arts now because of her influence in my early life. I found the work cathartic in getting over her death. However, I wondered about how she would feel having her flat completely remodeled and sold - I was very concerned if she would approve of the changes as it was her home for over 30 years. It actually kept me up at night. Well, one night she came to me in a dream, just stood there as her younger self, the way I like to remember her, and said it was alright and she liked what I was doing ... I haven't worried since. -- never told anyone before, thanks.
(xianstudio, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 14:27, 1 reply)

Working in a data centre
Many times during my time as a techy guy at a datacentre in Fareham, I had seen a person's shadow leaning against the wall, or moving about in between the server racks out of the corner of my eye.

I put it down to the fans moving in the servers, but it seemed too distinct to be just that.

Upon further investigation, one of my colleagues had seen the same, and it turns out it was always in the same rack aisle.

We both tried different things like opening rack doors, removing them, covering servers etc, but still seemed to see this figure like shape every so often.

We then replaced the light tubes as per our regular maintenance, and noticed that one tube hadn't got the same white colouration coating on one end.

We tried the tube in another housing in another part of the centre, and there was the figure type shadow once more, was still pretty freaky and kept us busy for ages though!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 14:24, 1 reply)

i have an uneasy sensation...
that this might just turn out to be an entirely rubbish question. I will substantiate my 'feeling' with some scientific reasoning:

You are either

A. the type that believes in all that supernatural pish and are inclined to go WoooOOOooOO! isnt that creepy - there are real ghosts you know - they came in the night and stole my grannies teeth, honestly.

or you are

B. the type that doesn't believe in all that palaver and wonders about the mental state of some of the people lurking around here this week (your granny is also 92 and thinks Clement Attlee lives next door - she could not keep track of her bloody teeth if you stapled them to her forehead)


!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 14:19, 6 replies)

Shivers
For reasons I won't go into I was in Brent Cross shopping centre on Friday.

As my pal and I stood looking at the map for somewhere to eat I suddenly became very dizzy and had to hang on to the signpost.

I verbally exclaimed about my dizzy spell, putting it down to hunger.
But he had also gone dizzy.

Perplexed, we walked away, my mind wandering off to a certain eighties film. I wished I had a young child and an American Football helmet to conduct some scientific studies.
(seekew who?, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 14:17, 2 replies)

Ok so this is just plain strange...
As a few of you will know I come from a somewhat middle of nowhere small english village town with a huuuuuge history... there are supposed to be ghosts in all of the pubs, every road has its tale and the like - my favourite story is of the devil stone in the town church yard - its an old granite head stone with a saddle like dip in the center across the top.. apprantly it was sat on by the devil - others like to say that it was used to sharpen knives - other say that it was my grandads way of scaring me half to death on the way to the pub.

It's tales like this that I love, there is a sense of history of long passed down tales - but alas, never a glimpse of something weird have I seen relating to any of these old tales.

I have however had many an odd occurance.

Many many moons ago just a slip of a lad of 14 staying over at a friends house a converted farmers house one large house divided in the 60's to form 3 smaller properties.

The house always felt wrong, I atributed this to fact that the remodeling hadnt allowed for too many windows, the floors were all at odd levels - there were many steps here and there, but it was always warm and surrounded by fields for muchio mischief to be had.

At the foot of my mates bed on the floor in a sleeping bag we'd finally decided to shut up and go to sleep - literally seconds later a clattering noise occured - we for some reason held silence for a few seconds before he reached for light - upon which we discovered his collection of 10 or so metal dinky cars were scattered all over the place... It brings the hairs on my neck up just writting this... thw windows were brand new, the window sill on which they sat was wide and brand new - there were no cats or small animals... and we'd not been anywhere near them... we just sat there staring at them... never been able to give a logical answer to that.

There were other bangs and moans but really they could easilly be explained as the house moving, pipes etc etc...

Now - I am the sort of person that is relativly logical, but I love a mystery... and this certainly was.

In the family home (Victorian 3 story town house lovingly gutted of most of its intricate details in the 60's to be put back during the 90's) I grew up - the house never had a bad feeling, it was nice if drafty... and an ace place to grow up.

Nothing strange or unexplained ever happened - the seat of tranquility.

I was approaching that age of 16 one morning I had a very vivid dream - really really vivid, I dreamt of the bathroom mirror coming off the wall and lodging against the door. So vivid was this dream that I spoke of it to my best mate of the time on our way to school... infact I repeated it many times - it really stuck with me - it didnt fade as so many of my vivid dreams do...

It stuck with me, but I realised repeating it so often was boring, and teetering on the side of madness so I shut up about it... About 2 months later - my father first up and into the bathroom couldn't open the door - strange thought he... with a shove the mirror was indeed off the wall... in one piece... holding the door shut exactly as my dream...

Now to put this into context, this was a large mirror the likes of which you have in pubs... it was glued to the wall and over the marble effect counter into which the porceliene sink was set... so its fallen off the wall... bounced off a rock solid counter top, flipped in mid air to land on the opposite wall to pin shut the door... strange... very strange...

at the same sort of time I dreamt my mum fell down the stairs and hurt herself... this one happend quicker - a few days later she came home from work having tripped up the stairs and twisted her ankle... coincidence.. probably... but I remember that dream too and told the same mate...

Now this is getting long so I will cut to he chase with thisone plus I have written about it a few times... but just so everyone has the pleasure of sharing...

My folks upon retiremnt decided that the house was too large for just the two of them, and the occasional visitor, so down sized.

The sale went through quickly, and a move to a converted 17th century barn was done... beautiful little 2 bedroom house it was really nice... but it did have this strange forboding... not evil.. just that heavy sensation... anyway

over time eventually everything that wasnt in need was relgated to friends family and storage in the garage - everything that was needed found its allocated spot, as is the want of a slightly OCD mother. This included a pine rolling pin a wedding present.

Christmas time comes and the pin is required, the pin is nowhere to be found - I was accused of stealing it - my dad was accused of stealing it for some strange autoerotic pleasure. It was no where but we all agree that it had been in its place in the tall cupboard next to the pans since day one...

a few weeks go buy, the need for the rolling pin has risen so out one mother pops to buy a new one... it is brought home, its quality is significantly lower that of its missing 70's brother - but its place in the tall cupboard was secured - right next to the 70's pin that had suddenly appeared!!! de de deeeeeeeeeeern..

I'm here all night - and have more... flashing lights and UFO's in daylight
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 14:16, Reply)

Unnatural animals
Big cats on moors. Supposed great white sharks off cornwall. Nessie. All these supposed monsters pale into insignificance when you wander into the great unknown of Cannock Chase...

Was at uni at Stoke during the 90's. Was into mountain biking, so a group of us decided to head to Cannock Chase to catch some decent single track and downhill thrashes. As well as our bikes, we took a quantity of hash, which was smoked as we stopped at various points during the ride.

Towards the end of the day, I was hammering down a track when something caught my eye up ahead. Looked at it as I went past - a very small kangaroo. A little startled, I almost fell off my bike, but putting it down to the pot managed to get to the end of the trail and meet up with the others. One of the guys then piped up with "you aren't gonna beleive this but... just saw a kangaroo". So I wasn't the only one! Turns out we all saw it...

Next day we mentioned this to one of our lecturers - turns out there is a little colony of Red Necked Wallabies living wild on Cannock Chase.

Not spooky. And explained. But still, you don't expect to see little kangaroos mucking about in Staffordshire...
(animal252 last activated his kitten hammer on, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 13:24, 5 replies)

Carrot and coriander soup
In almost every single office Christmas dinner I've been to, there has been a menu with two choices for each course. Nearly always, carrot and coriander soup has been one of the choices.

Is there a reason why carrot and coriander soup features so prominently on office Christmas dinner menus? Have years of psychological research determined that this recipe is the optimum soup for fuelling office gossip and office affairs? We need to know.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 13:18, 3 replies)

Tale of the Unexplained, redneck style.
When I was a wee redneck of 8, my family went out a meal at the newly opened Chinese restaurant in my backwards cowfekking hometown. As my fellow residents were thoroughly and patriotically ‘Murcan and could hardly eat pizza for the treason it showed ‘Murcan delicacies such as Velveeta, chitlins and red dye #5, the restaurant was empty but for the four of us.

The toilets were situated at the back with the doors themselves facing directly into the restaurant and the kitchen to the side and I, having consumed about 12 Coke refills (God Bless America,) went to the back for an almighty and life-changing piss. I double-locked the outside door. During my liquid evacuation, the door handle started wiggling.

“There’s somebody in here!” I shouted. Obviously. I was 8, I wasn’t going to allow just anybody in the toilet with me. This was before the days when men had dirty lusty ideas about little girls, I was more afraid of somebody hearing me wee.

No response, just further door handle twisting. Then it really kicked off. The entire door started shaking with rage, vibrating and oscillating. I was screaming like the little girl I was – surely somebody would stop the person? Somebody must hear me! All of a sudden the door was ripped off along with the hinges and the trim; it was actually torn out of the bloody wall. Parts of the door trim has seemingly exploded and the doorknob was ripped away, it was like somebody had attached a chain to the door handle, wrapped it around the bumper of their car and then sped off. The door sat several feet away from me, a tiny ginger crying form sitting on a toilet (woe was me, both ginger, moopy and my sister saw my underpants.)

Once I opened my eyes, my family was sat at the table looking at me like I was thoroughly insane. They wondered how I managed to rip the door off because, you see, there was nobody else there and I was roughly the same weight as a loaf of bread. There was nobody else in the restaurant.

And they hadn’t heard me screaming, but they had seen the door tear off, quite at its own accord.

The restaurant owners were thoroughly angry that I had damaged the restaurant in such a fashion and threatened my family, and my parents matched that with a bit of a grounding.

But c’mon, how could an 8 (going on hamster) year old rip a door out of its socket? How could I have broken a door with my bare 8 year old hands? And if I do possess this strength, why am I such a rubbish athlete?
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 13:11, 33 replies)

On lucid dreaming...
I have had some very odd experiences before.

The most memorable ones seem to happen just before waking up. I remember in one dream, I saw someone pointing a gun at me. I was pleading not to be shot, for them to let me live.

And then the gun went off. There was a bright flash, and a huge bang. I felt something hit me in the stomach.

Then I woke up to hear the sound of a thunderstorm outside. The rain was pelting down and the wind was blowing a gail. I heard thunder in the distance and saw the sky light up.

What really puzzles me is this: how did my mind manage to create a gun within my dream from a thunderstorm happening outside?


On the other hand, I sometimes have fantastic lucid dreams, especially sexual ones. I want to have sex with that girl over there? No problems, she's instantly naked.

Fantastic.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 12:42, 2 replies)

Sleep Paralysis / Lucid Dreaming
This isnt Unexplained as such. As I think its pretty much proven. But I do wonder about analyzing sleep paralysis experiences.

Its on the top of my thought process at the moment, as Ive just had one hell of an experience and wish to share.

SP and LD happen to me when im sleeping outside my normal sleep pattern. Im off work today really poorly. Im laid in bed as i type this. Im not too bad lying down but the moment I stand up i feel sick and dizzy. I have a temperature too. So when I have fallen asleep, im not falling asleep properly. Which seems to allow me to enter.. The Other Realm.

Today was strange. I was dreaming that i was sat on the toilet. This wasnt any ordinary dream, it felt real. Its filed in my head as a real life memory now. I started to pass out on the toilet and fall against the sink. I then woke up in the future. I was in some sort of hospital. There was no nurses but some robot running around giving medication. It was annoying as it wouldnt shut up. It had a kind of female announcer voice.

I got given some paracetamol, but i took more than I should have, and this thing was spazzing out. Strangely I can still taste paracetamol in my mouth now - yet I havnt actually taken anyway. It seemed that real Id actually be interested in a blood test result right now to see if I actually have any paracetamol in me. Im sure I dont, but it just felt so real.

Im not sure how i realised I was dreaming. But I woke up back in my own bed and was looking around, except I couldnt move. This is the sleep paralysis bit. There was loads of noise around me. I then recognised what was going on, and was now able to control myself. I got up. And took over the dream. I was now lucid dreaming.

I ran towards my bedroom door imagining it was red and I could pass straight through it. The door changed red and i ran through. Suddenly i was floating around aload of different colours. Then I was at my mums house at Christas time 1600 miles away. There was tinsel on the railing. I could feel the brisslyness of it. I floated around the room looking at the xmas tree and then I could hear a fly buzzing around. So I grabbed the fly spray. It was the exact same fly spray I have at home. It was the same one. In one hand ive got a canister of fly spray. I felt it get cold as I shook it. It was incredible. This whole thing was so real.

Next I was back in my bedroom. Im trying to turn the light on to find the fly to spray it. But the lights werent working. (That seems to be common in dreams) I tried spraying the spray but it didnt seem very powerful for some reason. Like it was almost empty but it wasnt.

I then realised that I thought the fly may have been actually in my room. In the waking world. As I couldnt find it there. Albeit it was a bit dark. And so eventually after a lot of effort I managed to snap myself out of it and woke up. It took a couple of attempts as Id wake up but then realise that Im still asleep. But eventually I did and the fly buzzing sound stopped.

The fly wasnt really in my room at all.
But for some reason the fly spray now was. I kid you f*kin not. Somehow I got the fly spray out of the kitchen and brought it to my room whilst all that was going on.

Ive put that down to perhaps sleep walking. Strangely tho, I didnt dream that I got it out of the kitchen. Ie i didnt wake up and get it, then sleep again and the memories became tangled. Im home alone today so no one can verify. I have never slept walked in my life. Maybe it was already here, tho im pretty sure it wasnt. It lives under the kitchen sink, and I havnt used it for a while.

It was kinda freaky but Im a rational person and can put it down to sleep walking and lucid dreaming. It all probably happened in my mind.

But I do feel like I have been away. Its a strange feeling. I felt that the images i experienced and the things I felt and heard were rather personal to me. This is going to sound stupid, but that fly that i kept hearing buzzing around.. It feels like it was some sort of warning to get me out of there. My attempts in the sleeping world to get rid of it failed.

I dont know. It was a hell of an experience anyway. Everything seems normal now.

Sorry for length.
(Miggyman, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 12:17, 3 replies)

Unidentified flying cloud
After reading someones story about an unidentified flying cloud it reminded me of the time I had a similar experience.

I was laying in the grass after a kickabout in the park with my mates staring up into the heavens - it was a beautifully warm day but there were a few fair weather Cumulus's kicking around.

It was then we noticed, on such a windless day one small fluffy cloud in particular weaving in and out of other clouds. It would sometimes stop and hide and then buzz off again, with no necessary relation to the speed and direction of anything else. Erratic to say the least.

Anyway at one point it got so close to us we could actually see there was some kind of horrible creature seemingly 'driving' the cloud.

Behold

Sometimes I lay awake at night thinking about this...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 12:11, 3 replies)