
Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us more of your wedding stories.
( , Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
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we staggered into the village because someone needed a piss. (jo always always needed a piss.) we cut through the graveyard of the beautiful local church, where a bride and her bridesmaids were just about to go in.
"DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" my friend nick yelled at the top of his voice.
she looked as if he'd smashed a kitten's face in.
( , Wed 5 Nov 2014, 11:31, 23 replies)

The countryside is designed for pissing wherever you like. And you lot couldn't manage without a commode?
( , Wed 5 Nov 2014, 12:22, closed)

Shout and i'll hook you up
( , Wed 5 Nov 2014, 15:34, closed)

Country girls can and do but not necessarily in graveyards with a wedding going on.
( , Wed 5 Nov 2014, 12:38, closed)

Because your mate was effectively smashing in the face of the Kitten of Her Lost Youth, with his exuberant abandon and impulsiveness, very much in contrast to the intense organisation and commitment required for a Wedding.
Either that or because no-one likes a belligerent, drunken teenager.
Or a pretentious adult.
( , Wed 5 Nov 2014, 12:58, closed)

All of your friends are arseholes.
HTH xxx
( , Wed 5 Nov 2014, 14:21, closed)

curmudgeonly alcoholic old scotsmen are not cool or fun
( , Wed 5 Nov 2014, 14:23, closed)

curmudgeonly - I do my best
alcoholic - not in the slightest and I have no idea where you've picked this up from
old - not remotely love
scotsmen - we've done this before. I was born in the same county as you, so yeah, well done on all of this.
( , Wed 5 Nov 2014, 15:23, closed)

a boring sobernaut. a disrespectful youth and a southern softie.
On balance I think I'd prefer to be what she said.
I scored 3 out of 4 anyway.
( , Wed 5 Nov 2014, 16:52, closed)

Either you're making stuff up, or showing Shambo/Fartbelm levels of online stalking.
So what is it? Take your time now.
( , Thu 6 Nov 2014, 10:20, closed)

maybe try some surgery? or getting everyone around you really really drunk?
( , Thu 6 Nov 2014, 14:36, closed)

( , Thu 6 Nov 2014, 15:14, closed)
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