I just posted this as a reply, but then it seemed to be better as a question
Right then, I'll just squeeze this in before the end.

Everyone moaning about how The Beatles / Coldplay / Cast / The Cure / The Smiths / Oasis / Pendulum / Gerry and the Pacemakers / whoever else are shit:

Post a link to some music you wrote and performed or recorded. Go on, let's see how good you are. What have you got?
(gordonjcp, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:49, 27 replies)

To quote Dr. Johnson
"You may abuse a tragedy, though you cannot write one. You may scold a carpenter who has made you a bad table, though you cannot make a table. It is not your trade to make tables."
( electric_goat, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:52, closed)

Excellent
Will steal this to use at every possible opportunity.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 12:18, closed)

alright
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKp1yEhJI6E

video was made to show the dancing rather than the music, so don't treat it like a proper music video.

Also, this song and recording is a really old one.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:53, closed)

See, we need more of this...
That's brilliant. Loved all the wee stop-motion bits, too.
(gordonjcp, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:11, closed)

Ah, go on then...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVmPmkITzDg

Similar to above: filmed on someone's portable video camera so not intended as a proper music video.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 12:10, closed)

Also
people seem to be confusing "Overrated" - which personally I would agree with, for the Beatles, Oasis, Elvis, U2 and many others mentioned here - and "Bad". The QOTW was "worst ever", and while Oasis are arse-clenchingly annoying twatmonkeys who certainly didn't deserve a tenth of the adulation they got (or even worse, think they deserved) I don't think they were anywhere near the Worst Band Ever.

Now, when we get to Babyshambles or Belle and Sebastian, I think we're more on the right track...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:56, closed)

U2 are actually pretty bad these days

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:58, closed)

True
One of the things that gets me about them is that they're always telling us to put your hand in your pocket to help others but when it comes to them doing the same thing through tax they transfer it over to a country with a more beneficial tax rate to them, hypocrites.
(Chuckman, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:16, closed)

Exactly
A band doesn't need to be technically brilliant to be a good band. Look at Status Quo - for all the jokes about it all going wrong when they learned a fourth chord, they have been playing for about 40 years with 60 records charting and 22 in the Top Ten. They're like a big tin of Quality Street - when you open it up, you just know that you're going to get a long thin toffee with chocolate on it and you're already thinking how awesome it's going to be. Well, that's Status Quo, and you just know they're going to play "Down Down" and the crowd is going to go ballistic.

Sod all this noodly-noodly fret-wankery. I love listening to Yes, but as a band they're just not that entertaining. Half Man Half Biscuit are entertaining, but they don't shift as many units as Yes, and that's a shame.
(gordonjcp, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:25, closed)

Why should you have to be any good yourself
to point out someone else's shitness?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:06, closed)

Alright then
www.b3mused.com/audios/256/high.html
(TheColonel, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:07, closed)

Good stuff
Listen to much Dubstar? ;-)

I had a quick listen to some of your other tracks. Looking forward to having time to listen properly later on.
(gordonjcp, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:14, closed)

You don't need to be a baker to know if a cake tastes like shit, you bellend.

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:16, closed)

Exactly
You don't need to build cars for a living to be able to spot a rusty shit-heap.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:25, closed)

I agree with the above.
I don't need to know anything about music to know what I do or don't like.

Similarly, Simon Cowell doesn't seem to know anything about music but it doesn't stop him making millions of pounds from it.
(Megamoss, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:29, closed)

The worst thing about Simon Cowell
(and there's a sentence that has legs) is that he apparently doesn't have ANY of the music that he produces in his own, personal music collection.

If you're creating music that you don't actually like, you have sucked satan's cock and are doomed to spend eternity swallowing his burning black jism.

That is all.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:33, closed)

He's probably an atheist, and doesn't think he's doomed to spend eternity doing anything.
And to boot, he's so wealthy he can afford as many rent boys as he likes.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:55, closed)

I'm an athiest too
-- it was a Bill Hicks reference.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:03, closed)

Ah, of course.
He was an atheist too. He obviously wasn't very good at being an atheist though.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:06, closed)

Actually, he claimed to be a believer
That is, he believed in a God which was at least related to the Christian one. He despised organised religion and religious bigotry, and was also fascinated by spirituality of all kinds.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 13:49, closed)

I'd like black jism
then I could pretend to be a startled octopus
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:49, closed)

My poem
My name
Is as hairy
As my tongue is banana-looking.
Who can say to what
Cavernous depths
My hot luscious thighs may reach?

Do not ply me
With your honking nudity
I will not look
Not so long as I hold myself flaccid.

In teapots vast
And cafetieres aplenty
We contain rip-off fruit juice
And it is enough.

Exeunt.


I know this is great poetry because none of the criticisms I received included a better poem.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 12:49, closed)

*coughs*

(Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 13:33, closed)

You are Paul Neil Milne Johnson
AICMFP
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 13:50, closed)

would that I were
glad someone got the reference, though. Three and a half years saving that one up.

*keeps five pounds*
(Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 14:00, closed)

im going to write music for this
Because it is so inspiringly hilarious
(b0w13, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 13:48, closed)

Ok then...
Not sure if you can see me in this one, I'm the guitarist on the right.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEL-JcfInYM
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 13:51, closed)