Presenting: rnuk's Patented Guide To Making Your Wedding Day That Little Bit More Special
Step 1. When walking down the aisle, instead of walking in a straight line, zig zag, and wobble slightly.
Step 2. Instead of walking down the aisle to "The Wedding March", use the theme tune from "Tales of the Unexpected".
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:00, archived)

3. Instead of saying 'I do' leave a moment of supense by saying
I'm going to have to go with......
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:01, archived)

Can I ask the audience?
Priest: Is that your final answer?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:01, archived)

Step 3. Hold your piece.

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:01, archived)

Step 3: Nudity always adds a little bit of excitement
Step 4: so does faeces
( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:01, archived)

Step 3. Use breath spray right before kissing bride/groom
Step 4. Sell to funny video show
Step 5. (Does it need to be said?) Profit!
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:01, archived)

haha
I am going to do this.
( flurokitty 3, 2, 1 lets jam! (+.[___]·:·), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:01, archived)

Step 0.
Instead of having a seperate wedding cake, have the entire church made out of cake.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:02, archived)

oh god this

( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:03, archived)

And hope it doesn't rain.
Soggy cake may be difficult to get out of the dress.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:03, archived)

As long as you use a hard enough icing
it should be ok.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:04, archived)

Step whatever
Instead of smiling at the groom look sadley at the best man.
( Mrs.Sp@m, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:03, archived)

Step 11. Lesbians.

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:03, archived)

I went to a lesbian wedding
(well, as much of one as that state allows)

It was ace!
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:04, archived)

"You may now both kiss the other bride"

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:05, archived)

I think the minister just said
"You may now kiss"
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:06, archived)

Which bit?
The mutual masturbation, or the strap-on dildo insertion?
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:06, archived)

I used to have the hots for one of them
She went on a date with me and came out halfway through.

She was a lesbian already, I didn't "turn" her!
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:08, archived)

was there fisting instead of hymns?
I don't know why fisting would be a particularly lesbian thing, but I'm enjoying thinking about it.
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:06, archived)

This.

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:05, archived)

Real lesbians or porn lesbians?

( ArthurTheRat, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:06, archived)

both
and have some sort of party game to work out which is which.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:06, archived)

Go Fist
it could be based on slackness
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:09, archived)

Step 6: Replace confetti with semtex.

( ArthurTheRat, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:05, archived)

Thats sound verrr pretti

( Mrs.Sp@m, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:06, archived)

Step 18: Leave for your honeymoon on an airship, straight from the church.

( ArthurTheRat, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:10, archived)

the whole church could be your airship
a cake-based airship with sponge foamed with helium
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:12, archived)

We are wedding planning GODS, Eel.

( ArthurTheRat, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:14, archived)

Step 3
You kiss and hold her tightly
( Hankster, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:07, archived)

That sure sounds like heaven to me.

( Druid, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:15, archived)

Wop Wop Whoo-oo

( FoldsFive, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:23, archived)

Its a trap
We walked back down the aisle (i.e. at the end) to the Star Wars music, technically "The Throne Room" by John Williams, which starts off like wedding music then goes into "do do doo do di do do, do do do do do do do di do".

It was fantastic
(netpixie you should reconsider your life choices., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:09, archived)

Play "Yesterday" by The Beatles at the reception

( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:10, archived)

step 19: Hippo Extravaganza

( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:12, archived)